A Journey of a Real Woman
Chapter 1: Betsy's Journey Begins
Caution: This Erotica Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa, NonConsensual, Reluctant, Blackmail, Mind Control, BiSexual, True Story, Gang Bang, Group Sex,
Desc: Erotica Sex Story: Chapter 1: Betsy's Journey Begins - Betsy is turning 40 soon and she looks back at her life. She remembers all of the things that happened to her, some erotic, some humiliating, and some very exciting.
Betsy is probably the most appealing woman I know, and strangely, I am not sure if she is not the wittiest, smartest woman ... or the craziest.
Betsy would be turning 40 and she, like most women, considered the thought very frightful. It seemed like yesterday that she was a girl, a young girl gaining experience in the world without any regrets or fears. Lately she seemed to be daydreaming more and more and it was all about her journey through life. In reminiscing, she was a girl trying desperately to prove to everyone that she was a well-refined, vibrant woman.
She loved dreaming with her eyes closed and watching the animated images of her life pass across her darkened eyelids. The clarity of her daydreams was outstanding, most being stunningly alive in vivid Technicolor. Betsy wondered if she was different than most women and if other women visualized their past in such detail. Even at 39, she felt like it had taken a lifetime to develop into a fully mature, grown woman.
Lately Betsy seemed obsessed with fantasizing especially about some of the lewd and erotic events that happened over the years. Reliving the various affairs gave her the chance to wonder if she would do things differently.
The weekend was ahead and it promised to be one of those rare opportunities to be alone. Her husband, Danny, had gone away for a weekend business conference and he had left a couple of hours earlier. Betsy welcomed the alone time because it afforded her the freedom to do whatever she wanted. With the aspect of turning 40 just around the corner, it seemed these days that she felt a powerful urge to dream about her past. Betsy questioned if she had missed something or if things should have been different. Did she have any regrets, she wondered?
Betsy really looked forward to being home alone all weekend. When Danny first told her about his trip, she was sad, but it soon turned to elation when she realized the freedom she would have. She was already in a dreamlike state of mind when she got home from work and the weekend officially began. Rushing upstairs to the spare bedroom, she threw herself on the bed. For some strange reason, Betsy had decided to use the spare bedroom for her fantasy escapades. Maybe using a room not shared with her husband, she reasoned, alleviated some of the guilt feelings for acting secretively.
She landed on the bed letting out a big sigh of exhaustion from the long workweek. Lying spread-eagled on the bed with her arms stretched out over her head, her mind immediately went into fantasyland. Many of her memories started right after junior high school.
Any recollections before she was 15 or 16 were merely fleeting memories of events. Her father raised Betsy and she dearly missed the influence of having a mother. Her mother was a smoker who died when Betsy was still very young and all Betsy remembered of her mother was that she was a very beautiful and loving lady.
Betsy could recall very few things that happened in those early years and what she did remember usually consisted of simple pictures or a few vague details. They were nothing compared to her stimulating memories of high school, grad school and those from her 20's and 30's, memories that flashed through her mind like theatrical movies.
Betsy loved the tranquil state she lapsed into whenever she was really alone. That was the only time she let herself drift off so that she was oblivious of anything else around her. She had an uncanny knack of being a third party in her daydreams; she would dream of watching herself, as an actress playing the role of Betsy, moving from one event to the next, from one chapter to the next.
Her first dream of the weekend started when she was a teenager going to Bedford High in the mid 80's. Betsy's plan was to fill the weekend with chapters of her life. Her earliest meticulous memories, which were her teenage years, would commence the novel of her life story. The way she acted in chapter one and the things she did in high school laid the foundations for the woman she was today. Suddenly she was in a subconscious state, hovering high above herself like an angel, watching her life unwind. Most people call it visualization and Betsy was very good at it.
All through high school, Betsy was shy and did not have many close friends. The group she did hang around with was of the geek category or so all of the other students said. Maybe Betsy's biggest mistake was not realizing just how beautiful and sexy she was. Her classmates called her a 'knockout', but Betsy never considered herself one.
Her boobs were always a huge hit with the boys and Betsy remembered how she developed at a very early age. She quickly grew to like having her boobs touched and often caressed them herself during masturbation. That reminded Betsy of two profound things from her high school days. She loved masturbating, as a form of mental relief, and she had wanted to just feel like a normal person.
Betsy yearned to be accepted like any other girl, which most likely led her into a world of submissiveness. It was that urge to please her friends and to fit-in, that got her into trouble. She cringed thinking how she started giving blowjobs and eventually performing fellatio in front of others. Betsy reasoned it was peer pressure or some odd motive that doing sexual things with others would make her feel liked and needed.
Betsy tried to think about the very first time. She was paired with one of her geek friends for an assignment. They went over to his house to work on a physics project and after three hours of working, they paused for a soda. For years Betsy remembered the events as something that just happened, but now looking back, she realized that it was planned.
She kind of liked the boy and didn't object when they sat on the sofa to study. When they took the break, the boy got drinks and returned to sit close beside her. Before she knew it, they were kissing and the boy had his hand in her blouse. Having her well-developed breasts fondled and felt by an eager teenage boy was traumatic, yet profound. Betsy tried to get control of things, but one thing led to another, and she found her hand resting on the boy's cock. She had never seen one or even touched one, so for whatever reason, she left her hand on the obvious bulge in his pants.
Betsy lapsed into that perfect visualization state for the rest of the dream. "My zipper ... pull my zipper down," the boy whispered. "That's it, honey ... pull it out. Pull out my cock."
The boy started kissing her neck and her ears, the sensations that rushed through her suddenly seemed very heated. Her dainty hand was on his pecker, which seemed too hard to be real. To this day Betsy didn't know why she didn't move her hand from his crotch, but she kept her fingers tightly wrapped around the throbbing shaft.
Suddenly he had his hand on her head and pushed downward until her face was perilously close to his meat. "Oh my God ... that feels good, Betsy. Keep moving your hand like that ... up and down, like that," the boy moaned feeling his pressure mount. "It feels good if you put your mouth on it ... put my cock in your mouth."
Before Betsy realized what he was doing, the cock was in her mouth. The boy was obviously overly aroused because within moments cum spewed like a fountain. The hot, creamy lava surprised her but she quickly determined it wasn't all that bad. Once he had recovered his composure, the boy explained that she had just given him a blowjob and that it was an extraordinarily good one. So when he begged her to do it again, silly Betsy saw no reason not to make him happy.
The end to the evening came in a hurry when the boy's parents returned home earlier than expected. They came into the house with the two teenagers madly rushing to get their clothes in order. Startled by the discovery, she hoped they didn't realize what was going on. Alas, the boy's father didn't say anything to her, but he grinned knowingly at her, which made Betsy flush with embarrassment. After that, all the geek guys were after Betsy. Eventually the geek girls wanted her to be a closer friend, which Betsy found enlightening.
Thinking back on it, Betsy realized the word was out; she was willing to please and would do anything to please her friends. One of the girls who had a steady boyfriend was the first to draw Betsy into the fold. She used the old line, 'show me how to do it.' The girl asked Betsy to give her boyfriend a blowjob and she wanted to watch. So in the basement of the girl's home, Betsy sucked the boyfriend's cock in loyal fashion.
When she swallowed the boy's abundant seed, the girl was overly dramatic. "Oh gawd ... that's so erotic. Brent ... oh my gawd ... she's drinking your cum," the girl said. "She's sucking your cock ... and her tits ... holy fuck, her tits are amazing."
Betsy shivered with the memory. The girl had sneakily pulled Betsy's sweater all the way up and left her tits exposed for her boyfriend. Not wanting to make a scene or destroy the wonderful chemistry now between her and the teens, she allowed the boy to fondle her boobs. Then when the girl started begging again, Betsy felt obliged to satisfy her request. Another shiver shot through her entire body with the realization that she had masturbated in front of the couple. They expounded their utter delight for being able to watch such a sensually, erotic event. She remembered how they gushed with gratification when she climaxed for their ultimate satisfaction.
Betsy reasoned it was how her submissive nature developed. The next incident happened shortly after and again it was in the girlfriend's basement. The girl was having a get-together with another couple from their geek-group, and they invited Betsy for entertainment. This time all formality was quickly ignored and the two girls undressed Betsy much to her dismay. Naked, afraid and shivering, she was swiftly ordered to perform. "We're the three heavenly angels from Bedford High and all the boys are at our feet. Betsy is our leader ... show us how to please the boys," one of the girl's said. "Look at Brent ... and Steve. Their cocks are hard and waiting."
So that night, Betsy was the consummate actress. She skillfully demonstrated to her girlfriends how to make a boy happy by performing two expert blowjobs. And then the girl's begged her to do it, to masturbate. Hence, naked and a squirming fool, Betsy experienced an orgasm in front of her friends. They applauded near the end, and to her utter amazement, she tried harder to make them happy. Betsy masturbated for her dear friends experiencing an earth-shattering orgasm seemingly losing all of her inhibitions.
Naïve, Betsy was completely unaware of her newfound reputation. Her supposed girlfriends were the source of much gossip and they informed the other students that Betsy willingly gave blowjobs. Thus when one of the school jocks asked her out on a date, Betsy was shocked but overwhelmed that he even asked her out. When the boy drove to lovers-lane, Betsy was thrilled that the jock liked her enough to take her to the grooviest spot where the in-crowd gathered.
Looking back on it now, Betsy realized the boy had taken her out for one reason. That quickly became apparent when they parked, and he began fondling her before the engine was cold. Twenty years later it made her grin remembering how carefully she had dressed for the date. She wore her prettiest blouse and a skirt she bought specially for the occasion.
The boy started with compliments and it didn't take long before his hands were inside her blouse. She struggled like crazy but all to no avail. All of a sudden the past was clear as a bell. "Oh Betsy ... your breasts. God, they are so beautiful ... so sexy," the boy said. His hands had already unbuttoned the sheer blouse and he was trying hard to uncup her boobs. Then Betsy's dream got vivid and real. Her bra was cast aside and she sat in the boy's car completely nude above the waist. "Holy, sweet Jesus ... they're gorgeous. And your nipples ... God, they're so hard."
Betsy kept looking out the window hoping nobody was watching but that didn't stop the boy. After he had slobbered all over her boobs and used his sharp teeth too roughly, the boy indicated he wanted more. His hand that had been trapped between her legs suddenly dipped under the hem of her skirt. He grabbed her thigh perilously close to her crotch and Betsy started to panic.
There was one fixation that all boys seemed to readily accept, which stopped their attempts to get into a girl's panties. Betsy used it with her geek boyfriends and she decided to use it with her new jock-friend. Logic told her that the best way to survive and save her virginity was by offering to suck the boy's cock. Acting like the perfect girlfriend, she unzipped his fly and took out his bulging penis.
Betsy vividly remembered that the jock was not heavenly endowed and his stamina was rated in seconds rather than minutes. Her hot volcanic mouth barely got his pecker inside before the boy was spewing molten lava. Today it was funny how the jock had such a small cock, yet his load of cum seemed so vast. She sucked as hard as she could and managed to stroke his throbbing penis until he collapsed. "Oh my Lord ... that was fantastic. Betsy ... you're the best," he moaned. "I wish we had time ... I want to fuck you, so bad."
She quickly realized matters could get much worse and Betsy made a rash decision. So the next time the jock took her to lovers-lane, and they moved into the backseat of his car, Betsy knew what to expect. She gave him a fantastic blowjob and then she did the unthinkable. She masturbated for his encouragement and wonderment.
Having been steadfastly denied her pussy, the jock realized he wasn't going all the way with Betsy. He was overjoyed getting to second base with her even if a homerun was out of the question. When he picked her up for their next date, one of the jock's friends was in the backseat. "Jordy's coming along for the ride ... hope you don't mind," her boyfriend said when she got in the car. They drove to the usual lovers-lane parking spot and her boyfriend shut off the car.
The silence became deafening. Then Betsy realized why Jordy was with them and she began to get frantic. She didn't know why or how, but all of a sudden she was sitting in the middle of the backseat with a jock on either side of her shivering body. "C'mon honey ... Jordy wants to see your gorgeous boobs. Let me show him," her boyfriend whispered. He suddenly whipped her sweater up and over her head and the game was on. Her hands were going every which way but they did nothing to discourage the two boys. They swiftly had her naked on top and each had an enlarged nipple in his mouth. She moaned and groaned but her protests merely gave the boys even more encouragement.
Soon Betsy realized that there was only one way out of her growing dilemma. Her hands were shaking like mad, but she managed to unzip Jordy's pants and take his bulging cock out. This boy was gifted, but beyond that Betsy remembered nothing more about him. Her boyfriend whispered animated encouragement to give Jordy a blowjob and then excitedly waited his turn. Betsy sucked both boys and then to get out alive, she put on the performance of her life.
She was now getting very good at masturbating for the entertainment of others. Her boyfriend and Jordy watched the lewd display with their mouths hanging wide open and Betsy performed porno magic. Soon it wasn't just Jordy riding shotgun on their dates; other jocks were treated to her tits, a blowjob and a show on a regular basis. For the time being, that satisfied her boyfriend and his close jock friends. Betsy struggled hard to remain a virgin, which meant she had to come up with extremely innovative and intelligent ways to fend off the hormonally crazed boyfriends.
The next time her boyfriend took her out with Jordy, Betsy had to use her imagination to remain pure. The boys loved her tits so much that when she volunteered to use them on their cocks, they were overjoyed. Although she didn't mind giving blowjobs in the backseat of a car, she did object to this type of gratification. It turned out to be far too messy and the boys' joy-juices seemed to go everywhere.
Betsy remembered holding her boobs together so they surrounded a boy's cock and the cum shooting out like a gusher. In her dream, she could see her luscious breasts moving up and down on a cock; her mouth was wide open with her tongue wagging when the spurting cum splattered her face. The scene was very dramatic and the boys loved it immensely. By now, Betsy thought satisfying the boys was part of the deal to becoming popular and obediently she performed for her boyfriend and his friends whenever she was asked. Even so, she somehow remained a virgin.
Today she looked back and realized she was a sexual prize being passed around by the jock community. Eventually her boyfriend got tired of her when he recognized that he simply wasn't getting into her panties. She wound up dating other jocks and dated four or five guys for short periods, using blowjobs as a rule to satisfy the boys. The only way she could get off was by touching herself, which all of the boys loved watching.
Betsy eventually got into a rut trying to do almost anything to be accepted. It seemed the boys all loved her. The more provocative she acted; the more they liked it. But Betsy had a hard time getting into a close-knit group with the girls. The girls didn't readily accept Betsy into their friendship circle because of her extraordinarily good looks. Betsy was beautiful with a very sexy body and that combination made most of the girls jealous. Although she did not think of herself as attractive or desirable, Betsy's good looks made the teenage boys drool.
The other girls did not like hearing their boyfriends talking about Betsy. They were furious that many of the boys chased after her and they countered her popularity with dirty rumors. Being innocent and extremely naïve, it was a big shock to Betsy when she realized there were rumors being spread around the high school. She was hurt deeply when she heard that one of the boys, she dated for a while, had tagged her with a nickname. The name was 'Iron Maiden' and like all hated names, it stuck like superglue.
After that, boys kept taking her out but they quickly gave up when she didn't go all the way. Even though Betsy gave the boys more sexual pleasure than most of the other girls, it did not stop the rumors. In fact, things seemed to get worse. There were rumors that she let boys feel her up, even go so far as to remove all her clothes. Some of the rumors were true, especially the one that she gave blowjobs to boys just for them taking her out. That rumor grew and grew until she was considered the absolute best cocksucker around. And more gossip spread that Betsy loved masturbating with boys watching it all.
Then girls started gossiping that Betsy was a floozy. It made her wonder if remaining pure and saving herself for marriage was the proper thing to do. During the last year of high school, Betsy almost caved. It was also a time when she realized that sex with another female might be possible.
At a party, which all of the high school seniors attended, somehow Betsy wound up in a bedroom with two other girls and their boyfriends. The two girls were members of the schools cheerleader's squad and they were well aware of how popular Betsy was with all of the jocks. It was quiet; it was dark; and it was eerily romantic, she remembered. The dream made her shiver even though she knew what was going to happen.
All five teens were on the bed and the girls were huddled close enough so that they could whisper together. They gossiped about many of the other grads and suddenly Betsy realized the two boyfriends were taking profound liberties with their girlfriends. Bare flesh was rapidly abundant and Betsy blushed profusely when one of the boys started sucking a boob.
Betsy was just about to get up off the bed when one of the girls grabbed her. "Please ... please stay. Don't go," she whispered. The girl stared into her eyes and Betsy stomach did tremendous summersaults with trepidation. "Don't go, love. I have wanted to do this for a long ... long time."
All of a sudden the girl kissed Betsy on the lips. Betsy didn't have a clue of what to do so she merely remained a zombie. It was the first time a girl had ever kissed her or even gotten intimate. Suddenly there were hands roaming all over her body and Betsy knew they all didn't belong to the girl. Some were rough and brazen, while others were tender and loving and Betsy was going out of her mind trying to find a solution to her mounting dilemma.
Betsy could not remember a time when she was stripped so quickly. In measly seconds, her clothes were strewn around the room and she was spread out on the bed like a sacrificial lamb. Suddenly one of the boys was sucking a nipple, one of the girls sucked a titty, and the other boy was between her legs. Frantically she broke the kiss with the one girl and started to cry like a baby. "Stop ... please stop. I can't ... can't do it. Gawd ... please stop," she pleaded with the group. "Oh please ... please. I can't ... I'm a virgin."
The next few moments of her life passed but Betsy felt like they lasted forever. The girl who kissed her began kissing her face and lips before suddenly pausing. The other girl caressed her titty like an angel and then she too paused. The boy sucking her nipple continued for a while before he too halted letting the hardened bud slip from his hungry mouth. The boy between her legs kept his tongue busy for many seconds, licking her slit, as if searching for a long lost treasure.
It was at that point when Betsy wondered if they would stop or she would become their slut. Her mind was in turmoil. Betsy remembered thinking her reign of virginity was over. She struggled with all her might but it did nothing to persuade the teens to stop molesting her. Suddenly the two heads hovering over her chest rose up and allowed her to see all the way down to her tummy. She stared in horror, as she watched the boy's tongue lapping her opening, just before he hungrily latched onto her precious clitoris. Betsy thought the top of her head would blow off when he sucked the puffy clit deep into his burning mouth. He swirled the bud around inside his mouth, as if was a lollipop candy, and she wondered why her hips thrust so wildly.
It was one of those moments of monumental surprise in a person's life when the one girl put a stop to what was happening. For whatever reason, maybe guilt or maybe it was remorse, but she ordered her friends to leave Betsy alone. It might have taken Betsy five seconds to get dressed and leave the room but she managed it in world record time.
The departure was traumatic for Betsy and she considered not dating again. Not because of what her fellow students did to her but because she knew that if the boy had continued for a few more moments, she would have willingly lost her virginity. It was the first time she understood what lust could do to a person's sanity and reasoning.
After that party, everyone in the school seemed to know that Betsy was a virgin. She avoided the jock crowd like the plague and reverted back to her more familiar geek group of friends. Betsy reasoned that these students were much the same as she was, but it was a mistake. When they reached out to her, Betsy was more than glad to do almost anything to gain their approval. It never entered her mind that they were just playing an evil trick on their dazzling playmate.
Sadly for Betsy, the ritual of being used would continue. The one girl had fantasized ever since watching Betsy perform lewd and raunchy acts for her and her boyfriend. Suddenly the girl had the ravishing Betsy back again. At the time, everything the girl did seemed perfectly unplanned and natural, but now Betsy could see how the girl manipulated her.
She remembered the one time when she stayed overnight at the girl's home. It started out very innocently with the two watching television in the family room while lying on a makeshift bed. They changed into lounging attire, which consisted of loose, oversized t-shirts and baggy, flannel pants and settled in for a comfortable night. The two girls had the house to themselves because the girl's parents were attending a late-night party.
Without warning, the girl's boyfriend showed up at the house. The girl reassured Betsy that her boyfriend merely wanted to stop by for a little while. "Do you mind if Bobby watches TV with us? He won't bother us," she asked knowing Betsy could not refuse. "My parents don't know it ... but we have sex right here in the family room when they're upstairs ... don't we, honey?"
Of course her boyfriend nodded his head while giving Betsy a devilish wink and a grin. Betsy remembered the night very vividly, as she almost lost her virginity to the scheming couple. She wasn't exactly sure what really happened or how it happened, but eventually the boyfriend wound up between the two. Betsy tried to keep her distance but it was difficult, as she didn't want to be rude to her friends. Then she remembered watching the couple out of the corner of her eye, as she pretended to watch TV. The boy fondled and even exposed the girl's boobs and she did not object one little bit.
Then Betsy spied the girl's hand inside the boy's pants and it was very obvious what she was doing. The girl stroked her boyfriend's penis until he started letting out strange moans, as his pleasure increased. Betsy felt immense guilt and shame for being so close to the lovebirds but she didn't run away for fear of offending her girlfriend.
Betsy remembered vividly what happened next. The boy went to the washroom and her girlfriend made a proposal. "C'mon ... let's do it together. Let's make him cum," she whispered.
Betsy didn't really want to it, but she relented seeing how her agreeing made her girlfriend's face light up with happiness. Then she thought, 'why not? I have done it before ... jerking a boyfriend off in front of the girlfriend.' So when the supposed boyfriend returned to the rumpled sofa, he again slipped into the space between the girls. The girl motioned and beckoned for Betsy to begin and before she knew it, her hand was caressing the front of the boy's stomach.
Suddenly the girl's hand covered Betsy's and swiftly shoved it into the boy's pants. The hot, searing cock made Betsy shiver but she kept her hand covering the throbbing pecker. That was all the encouragement the boy needed and he rolled over facing the shocked Betsy. His hands were a blur and quickly rolled the big shirt up until he could see the bottom swell of her boobs. All of a sudden her girlfriend was on her other side and helping the boy.
Betsy was totally flabbergasted and under normal circumstances, she would have run fast and far. But not on this night! The two easily stripped the loose fitting t-shirt and the boy put his hands on her bare chest. Betsy remembered how she remained motionless on the couch and allowed the two to take liberties with her. She thought by not resisting it would make the two happy and she would become closer friends with them.
Everything happened so fast that Betsy was too confused to react. The boy was groping her tits and suddenly he was kissing them. Then her girlfriend was saying something. "Bobby told me how much he loves your big tits and especially the way your nipples stick out in your sweater," she whispered. "We can't believe you are still a virgin... 18 and still a virgin? We'll rectify that tonight!"
Betsy heart beat so fast that she was positive all the blood rushed to her head. Her head buzzed when the boy stretched her nipples making them stand out prominently like they always did when she was aroused. Sometimes Betsy wished her nipples were not so big and did not get so stiff when they were touched. Then the girl was holding Betsy by the arms and pinned them behind her back. This allowed her boyfriend to swiftly strip the baggy PJ's from her lower body and suddenly Betsy was completely nude.
Betsy remembered how she allowed it to continue because they were her close friends. In her dream, she glanced down at the boy and saw he was also nude, crouching on his hands and knees between her widespread legs, looking more than ready to defile her virgin charm. Then he was rubbing the wet end of his cock all over her legs and threatening to move higher.
It was at that point when Betsy chickened out. She got a sudden burst of strength and determination. "No ... no, for gawd sake, Bobby ... no!" She screamed for him to stop and struggled so hard that the couple realized their advantage was over.
Betsy used every church going word she could think of to explain how sinful it was to have sex but the couple merely shunned every excuse. They were in a fit of rage and blamed her for what had happened. She could still remember the harsh words and being called a prick tease. The breakup was so traumatic for Betsy that she stopped dating, which was not very difficult because none of the other geeks ever asked her out during the remainder of the school year.
It took years for Betsy to fully understand why she was treated so badly in high school. She lay on the bed in the spare bedroom thinking of the good things that happened, and true to her nature, she forgave the jealousy shown her by some of the other students. Her mind floated through the dream and she lay on the bed in a comatose state realizing that the high school period had come to an end.
Graduation day came and went and it was time to move on. Betsy slowly came out of her dreamland needing a little break. Her mind was totally alive and felt revitalized from the memories of her teenage years. Life can be cruel at times but Betsy felt immense pride for remaining pure to her faith all through high school. Looking back on it now, she wondered at how immature she was at eighteen. Betsy had reasoned that oral sex and masturbating were okay as long as she didn't let the boy actually screw her.
Betsy rationalized that giving a boy a blowjob in the backseat of a car was immoral but she was willing to do anything to be accepted by her peers. Well, almost anything, she quickly added with a grin. Her father had harped about the biggest sin of all, getting pregnant, so Betsy was determined to do anything as long as it didn't involve actual intercourse. One of the things she considered at the time was anal sex but she couldn't imagine letting a boy stick his cock in her ass.
It was still early on a Friday evening and she had more life-chapters to review before the night was done. She rolled out of the bed and stretched, feeling proud of being able to relive the initial chapter of her life story.