She opened the blanket just enough to get herself into bed with me. I noticed she'd taken off her pants.
"Where've you been?" I asked. It was a small bed but neither of us touched.
"I was out."
"I didn't think you were really breaking up with me," I said.
"I don't want to talk about it," she said. She put her arm around me.
"Did you kiss him?"
She didn't say anything, but hugged me closer.
"Did you kiss him?" I asked again.
She said, "Yes."
"Two years. We've been together two years and its just like that."
I felt her cold legs. Her feet tangled up with mine. I tried not to move. My knee kept her away.
"Did you fuck him?"
"No," she said. "Of course not."
She pressed in. She wore her underwear and a white shirt, but no bra.
"What are you doing? You think you can come into my bed, like nothing happened?"
"I can't sleep by myself. Not tonight."
"Even after what you did? Are you kidding me. You should have stayed with your boyfriend."
"He's not my boyfriend."
"Why are you here?"
"I don't know., I don't know what I'm doing."
"But you're done with me."
"No. I still want to be friends."
"You fucking bitch." I felt bad saying it. I hoped it would hurt her even more.
She placed her hand on my knee and pushed it down. I struggled, but let it drop. She moved and covered the distance between us. Her lips searched out mine. When she found them, she took them into her mouth hard and desperate. I knew she still loved me.
I turned my face away. "Don't you have any self respect?" I asked.
"What?" she said. "I don't know what to say."
"You can say, I'm a bitch. I'm sorry, I'm a bitch."
That drove a nice spike into her.
"Get the fuck out." I shoved her away with very little force. She clung to me.
"I love you," she said.
"If you did, you wouldn't..."
"It didn't mean anything. It was just a date. I kissed him, so what. It didn't mean anything."
"It was cheating."
"I broke up with you." Earlier that day, no more than 12 hours ago.
"It was just a date."
"Do you love him?"
"I know how it goes. It didn't mean anything. Is that how you women rationalize sleeping around. Fuck you, get out."
For the longest time, neither of us said a word. You could hear snow flakes fall, the trudging through snow, maybe a door close near or far away. My computer hummed.
She cried, convulsed, pulled the blanket closer to her, pressed into me. She turned her head away. You knew there were streams of tears. She wiped her face. It made me feel sorry for her and hate myself. We were quiet for a long time.
"Can we just forget it for tonight. Can we just go to sleep?" she asked.
I looked at her and touched her face delicately. Her face was hot and wet.
I grabbed her wide thighs, the ones that stuck from her hips, which made it so hard to find a decent pair of pants. I grabbed her leg and squeezed it hard, and didn't let go.
She held the pain inside. She barely struggled, but she felt it alright. Her face pressed close to mine.
"I love you," she said low.
"Why?" I wanted to understand.
She grabbed for my hard cock. It betrayed me. She stroked the foreskin up and down the head and started jerking me off.
"You fucking bitch."