by Dreadpirate Tom

Caution: This Humor Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa, Reluctant, Humor, Paranormal, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Masturbation, Caution, .

Desc: Humor Sex Story: Amanda, a young, uptight college student, wakes one morning to discover that she has a visitor. In her head. A visitor that has a decidedly different view of what constitutes proper and moral behavior.

Author's note: Sorry about the present tense. I've been trying it out as an experiment. I promise that I'll never do it again. The caution tag is for a sex scene involving a priest. If that sort of thing offends you, you probably want to move on to something else.

Amanda fumbles sleepily for her alarm clock, desperate to stop the horrid sounds that are blaring through her room. Her hand comes down on top of the offending clock once; twice; a third time. Defiant to the last, the alarm clock continues to fill her bedroom with its disharmonious tones. Her hand falls to the top of the night stand and begins to pat all around the evil timepiece's base. Her fingers at last locate the power cord and, after jerking back briefly in triumph, seize it and pull until the room is finally silent.

Amanda pushes her legs off the side of the bed and sits up, rubbing her knuckles briefly into her bleary blue eyes. With a wide yawn, she pushes her long blond hair back from her face and shuffles her feet about on the threadbare carpet until she locates and slips into her favorite fuzzy, pink slippers. She sits there for a moment mentally going over the days schedule: anthropology 101 at nine; volunteer work for MADD at ten; back to back classes from noon until four; and then a Campus Bible Fellowship meeting at six. She twists the chastity ring on her finger around for a moment while idly wondering what she will do after the meeting.

There will probably be something good on the Hallmark channel, Amanda decides as she stands; there usually is on Friday nights. Straightening her sleep rumpled flannel nightgown so that its hem settles around her ankles, she stumbles off towards the bathroom. She takes a quick pee and brushes her teeth. As she's leaning over the sink with bared teeth to check the results of the latter exercise, her reflection expands into a huge caricature of her face which grins cheekily back at her.

"Hi!" a perky voice says brightly.

"Who's there?!" Amanda cries out, jumping back from the mirror and looking frantically about the bathroom.

"How rude of me. I'm Alex," the voice replies.

Amanda's darting eyes come to rest on the toilet brush and she springs across the little room to grab it, bringing it to bear above her shoulder. She then creeps on tiptoes to the bathroom door and peaks timidly around the frame.

"Where are you, Alex?" Amanda whispers.

"Really, Amanda? A toilet brush? Who do you think I am? The Culligan Man?" the voice pipes out merrily.

"Who?" Amanda asks as she spins to face into the bathroom, her eyes searching the walls and ceilings for hidden cameras and speakers.

The voice lets out a little sigh, "Never mind. Before your time. But, to answer your earlier question, I'm in your head. Well, it's a little more complicated than that, but I suppose that explanation will have to do for now."

"In my head?" Amanda whispers incredulously, "Am I going mad?"

Alex replies, "No. No. No. If you were going insane you would never know it. You would just think everyone else was getting stranger. It's really quite simple; you've been semi-randomly selected for possession. Congratulations!"

Amanda presses her back to the bathroom wall and sinks slowly to the floor while wailing, "Possessed? I'm not just going insane, I'm already nuttier than a fruitcake."

Alex sighs again and mutters, as if to itself, but as itself is currently Amanda, Amanda is able to understand just fine, "Damn. I knew I should have taken my vacation a millennia or two ago. Introductions were so much easier in those days."

"Vacation?" Amanda asks.

Its voice resuming its earlier perkiness, Alex replies, "Yes, indeed! Vacation! Two whole weeks on the mortal plane! I'm so excited!"

Horrified, Amanda whispers, "Are you from hell?"

"No! Err, yes. Well, maybe. I suppose that you would think of my home dimension as hell, but hell really isn't what you think it is."

"Huh?" Amanda replies.

"Well, the heaven and hell of mortal religions are merely grossly distorted approximations of certain portions of the true multi-phasic, multi-dimensional structure of the multiverse."

"Huh?" Amanda repeats.

Alex sighs yet again, "The pertinent points are: the place I come from is not the source of all evil on earth; my friends and I do not get our jollies torturing damned souls for all of eternity; and I have no intention of making you vomit pea soup."

Slightly mollified, Amanda asks, "So what do you want with me?"

"I thought we covered that already? No? Okay, then. I'm on vacation! Two wonderful weeks of experiencing all the pleasures that a physical body can offer."

"You don't have a physical body?"

"I do now. Yours! But, assuming that you're referring to my natural state then the answer is: No, I'm completely incorporeal. Which isn't really as bad as it sounds; I will exist for all of time and can move about the multiverse at will. Flitting about the multiverse is actually a lot of fun, but without physical sensation even that gets dull after a few dozen aeons. Which is why I'm here."

"But why me?"

"You were selected by the finest travel agency in all of the outer planes of existence as a being who would be compatible with the parameters of my purpose for visiting the mortal realm."

"But how is this even possible?"

"Pretty simple, really. The travel agency selected you, I floated into the quantum harmonizer, and here I am, sharing your body with you. Sorry I didn't speak up earlier but the trans-dimensional transfer of sentience does cause a bit of ... well, jet lag. Now, how about showing me around my new diggs?"

Amanda blinks her eyes rapidly for a few seconds at this sudden change of subject, but answers, "There really isn't much to see; this is the bathroom, the bedroom is right outside the door and..."

Alex interrupts, "Not your apartment, Amanda. You."

"Me?" Amanda replies dubiously.

"Yep. You. So, stand right up and let's have a look under that nightgown."

With a blush, Amanda replies in a scandalized tone, "I'm not letting you see me naked!"

"Look Amanda, I'm a part of you, at least for the next two weeks. So, technically, the only eyes that will be looking at you are yours. You've seen yourself naked lots of times, haven't you?"

"Well, yes, but..."

"So, what's the problem? You were about to take a shower anyway, and it's not like you can go the entire next two weeks without one. At the very least, you're certainly going to have to use the toilet. Face it, at some point, you're going to have to get naked while I'm here, so we might as well get it out of the way."

Confused and unable to think of a counter-argument, Amanda stands and pulls the nightgown over her head.

"Nice tits!" Alex says exuberantly. "I don't suppose that you would be willing to jump up and down a few times for me, would you?"

"No!" Amanda replies hotly while covering her breasts with her hands.

"Didn't think so, but it never hurts to ask. This is much better, anyway. Thanks!"

Amanda suddenly realizes that her thumbs and forefingers have ceased assisting the other parts of her hands in hiding her breasts and have instead begun to tenderly squeeze and stroke her nipples. Amanda gazes dumbly at the disobedient digits for a moment before pulling her hands violently to her sides. Her left hand promptly slips around behind her and gooses her bottom.

"Nice firm ass, too! I think I'm going to like it here," Alex exclaims happily. "By the way, we really are going to have to do something about that bush of yours. I've seen superclusters with less spread. You do realize that the seventies ended decades ago, right?"

"Stop it!" Amanda cries out while clasping her hands over most of her extraordinarily abundant pubic hair. "How are you doing that?!"

"Huh. Not the most luminous main sequence star in the universe are you, Amanda? Don't feel bad, intelligence is often overrated. But I digress. I did mention that I would be sharing your body with you. Implicit in the whole concept of sharing is a measure of coequal control."

"You can control my body?" Amanda cries out, aghast.

"I just said that it was coequal. That means that if we're both trying to move the same body part but in opposite directions, our efforts will generally cancel each other out. And, to be fair, I actually can't control your entire body yet; integration takes some time. At the moment, my influence only extends to those parts of your body above the navel."

Amanda squeals as one of the fingers that she has clasped over her bush extends over her plushly covered mound and lightly rubs circles around the hood of her clit. Blushing, she extends her arms directly out in front of her while crying out, "Don't touch me there!"

"It's your own finger Amanda. It's not like you've never masturbated before," Alex replies smoothly.

"I haven't!" Amanda shouts.

Incredulous, Alex asks, "You mean you've never groped the grotto, itched the ditch, ladled out the gravy boat, beat the beaver, did some buffin' of the muffin', paddled the pink canoe, tiptoed through the twolips..."

"No!" Amanda interrupts, her blush deepening, "I've never touched myself ... down there. It's dirty!"

"Well, then," Alex exclaims, as bright and perky as ever, "we'll just have to make it clean. So, how about that shower now?"

Amanda realizes that she does need a shower and that the hot water might help clear her head and let her make sense of all that is happening. Alex is silent as Amanda fetches a towel from the closet, turns on the water and steps under the warm spray.

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Story tagged with:
Ma/Fa / Reluctant / Humor / Paranormal / Oral Sex / Anal Sex / Masturbation / Caution /