Author’s Note: I cannot attest to the veracity of this story. I wasn’t there. Erik, the man who told this story often told wild stories. I did see some of the events he talked about and know them to be true, but this one sounded a trifle extreme, even for Erik. Still, I think it’s too good not to share it with you.

Erik speaks:

I’d been in the Army for almost three years and the First Sergeant had sent my name to the Squadron CSM to put me on the list for the E-5 Promotion Board. I’d passed my MOS tests and PT test and I was ready, I thought.

The Major General commanding the Division had called for a Division Assembly. These had a rather set format. All of the units would have their usual morning muster formation, then march down to the Post Stadium and fill the stands. There would be the presentation of the colors, some kind of brief show and then the General would address the assembled troops and tell us what it was he wanted to say.