It is a curious coincidence, and no more than that, that Ned Kelly, in 'Ned Solves a Problem', introduced his Leica camera, and JRyter in 'The Camera' also featured a Leica - although after Ned, and JRyter's Leica is magical, Ned's is not. But there are similarities because many women have an urge (or can be persuaded) to remove their clothes when facing a camera.
"Man, that is born of a woman, hath but a short time to live, and is full of misery. He cometh up, and is cut down, like a flower; he fleeth as it were a shadow, and never continueth in one stay..."
Ned's attention wandered as the vicar carried on. Can't be long now thought Ned.
It was his father's funeral. His death had come rather sooner than had been expected, it seemed that he had just folded in on himself, and rather than the six months that had been anticipated, he had just faded away in two. Ned had already, whilst in the church, remembered his father, and had agreed with his younger sister Susan that they didn't seem to know him that well, and here at the graveside he was just waiting for it to be over. He stood on one side of his mother, his sister on the other, They were holding their mother's hands.
Ned's mind wandered over the past couple of months. His mother had seemed better once she had told him and Susan about their father, although to be honest they already knew, because their Auntie Miri had been somewhat indiscreet, and Uncle George had had to tell him, and he then elected to tell Susan. It wasn't until a couple of days after that that his mother had finally sat them down and told them that she had something dreadful to tell them. Susan had burst into tears, and Ned had told her that they already knew. Mother had clearly been relieved, and after a long group hug they seemed ready to face the future more easily and more united.
Even Ned would admit that his next thoughts were inappropriate given the occasion, but a couple of days later his mother had asked him to take a small package to a house in the next village.
"Mrs Eastly," his mother told him. "She's at Winter Cottage, you can't miss it."
"No problem mother," he replied. "I know where it is."
And he could have gone on to say that he also knew the lady who lived there. Well, truthfully, he didn't know her, but he had seen Diana Eastly at various village events, and she sometimes figured in his bedtime fantasies. She was, he thought, a very attractive woman. She was in her early twenties, with dark blonde hair and a pretty face, but her outstanding feature, features actually, were her breasts, each one of which would have filled a bowler hat, at least in Ned's imagination.
Ned rode the couple of miles to the next village on his bike, and knocked on the back door of Winter Cottage.
"Who is it?" called a female voice.
"It's Ned, er, Gerry Kelly," said Ned, realising that as one of his mother's friends she would probably know him by his given name.
There was a loud giggle from inside the cottage.
"Come on in Ned," said Mrs Eastly, and as Ned entered she continued. "It's only your mother calls you Gerry, most other people wonder who she's talking about."
Mrs Eastly had a soft west country accent and was grinning broadly, and giggling a great deal.
"I've..." was as far as Ned got before he stopped, staring at the sight before him. Mrs Eastly, the object of many of his nightly fantasies, was sitting on a kitchen chair by the scrubbed pine table feeding her baby, which was about a month old. Ned's jaw had dropped as he could see most of one of the globes that he had hereto only imagined. As he watched, she detached the feeding infant from her breast, reversed it, exposed the other breast and fed the nipple into the baby's mouth.
She giggled. "Am I embarrassing you, Ned?" she asked.
"N, n, no. No, no certainly not," stammered Ned, blushing. "No, it's just..."
"Oh, you've never seen a baby being fed before."
"Yes," said Ned, "Umm, no. No, I haven't."
"Ah, it's not just that is it? It's what he's being fed from, that's it. I've seen you looking Ned." And she giggled again, it was a lovely warm fluid sound. "Yes, I've seen you looking." She gently lifted the unoccupied breast as if offering it to him.
If Ned had been red before he was now positively glowing. Mrs Eastly lifted the baby and laid him against her shoulder, and as if he already knew exactly what was required of him, he let out a loud burp.
"Just wait a minute," she said. "and I'll put him down."
She left the room, and Ned stood there trying to gather his thoughts. Before he could do so she returned. Ned noted that her blouse was still open.
"Now," she said. "I've got so much milk and I'll just bet you'd love to try some wouldn't you?"
Ned had lost the power of speech. He nodded his head. She took Ned by the hand and led him into the front room, where she sat on the settee. She motioned Ned to kneel between her legs and then fed him a nipple as though he were a baby. Ned grasped the breast with both hands and began to suck. The milk was warm and sweet. A few minutes later she changed him over to the other breast.
"Oh," she said. "Having my tits sucked makes me soooo randy. My husband just goes to the pub after work, he doesn't come near me. Hasn't for months." and she reached down and felt Ned's raging hard cock through his trousers.
"Oh that does feel good, and big too." She gave it a squeeze.
Ned groaned and convulsed as he flooded his underwear.
"Oh, dear," she said. "I suppose that's it for today. I should have thought..."
"I can do something else" said Ned, lovingly caressing her breasts.
"What's that?" she asked.
Ned lifted her skirt to discover that she had no knickers on. He bent and kissed down her belly.
"What are you doing?"
Ned reached her mons and pushed her legs apart so that he could get in closer. He licked up and down her nether lips. Ned had only seen this done from a distance when he had photographed his now ex headmaster and the games mistress, and although he had enlarged the pictures he had only a hazy idea of what to do. But one thing he did know; the lady had liked it. A lot.
"Oh my," said the object of his attentions. "Oh myyy"
He licked up the middle and in doing so caught her clitoris, although he wasn't aware of what it was at that point. However her reaction told him that he had just struck the mother lode.
"Oh my god, no one ever did that before. Oooo keep doing it."
She pushed her bottom forward, so that it was on the edge of the seat, and at the same time she grasped Ned's head.
Ned had every intention of carrying on doing it, and did so. Her hands were making sure that he stayed right on target and in a few minutes she orgasmed loudly, flooding Ned's face with her juices.
"Oh my God, that was wonderful," she said. "Where did you learn to do that? You must be a lot more experienced than I thought."
"Umm, no," said Ned. "You're the first. But I'm going to keep doing it."
He had undone his trousers and released his once again stiff cock. He moved up over her and kissed her. She reached down and took hold of him.
"Ooo, you're ready again, that's good, and it's such a nice size too," she commented, aiming him at her entrance as he pushed forward. Ned was overwhelmed by the absolutely best sensation he had ever experienced.
This, he thought, is it! I'm finally doing it!
As Ned thrust forward she lifted to meet him, and for the next few minutes there was only the sound of their mating, until she broke the kiss and started to groan and pant heavily until she came with a low scream just as Ned deposited his second load of the day deep inside her.
She held his head in both hands and looked into his eyes with great affection.
"If that was your first you are going to be the very devil with the girls, Ned Kelly. Mmm," she licked her lips, "that's me I can taste. You do that trick with your tongue young man and you'll have every lady you meet eating out of your hand."
She continued to gaze at him, and then. "Shit, I got carried away, I'll bet you've made me pregnant. Now I'll have to get my old man to shag me. I'll make him use a rubber though, then if I am in the club I'll tell him it bust. Come on, you'd better get cleaned up and on your way. Not a word to your mother mind. Or anyone else."
"Of course not," said Ned. "It isn't anyone else's business."
Back in the kitchen she kissed him again.
"Mmm, you're a good kisser too. Tuesday on you're way home would be a good time to call. He's got darts so I won't see him until late."
Ned rode home in a daze, narrowly missing the vicar's car as it swerved round a bend.
Ned returned to the present. They were about to file past the open grave and throw in a handful of earth. His mother led the way. The vicar's wife, he thought, was rather tasty
After the funeral they went to George and Miri's house where the sombre mood gradually lifted as the booze flowed, even Ned's mother seemed fairly happy. There were a number of people telling Ned that he had to take care of his mother and sister because he was the man of the house now. Sudden promotion thought Ned, and being a great fan of Hornblower he decided it was a bit like a lowly lieutenant taking charge of the quarter deck after his captain had been killed. He stood up straight and assured them that he would do his best.
It was mid evening by the time George ran them home.
.... There is more of this story ...