Chapter 6

Mae sat beside me as I drove along two-lane highways in upstate New York. “So, we’re getting to play ‘Meet the Fockers’ with my folks in the title role,” I remarked. “Are you nervous?”

“A little.”

I squeezed her hand. “You’ll be fine. You’ll like Karen...”

“She’s your mother?”

“My step-mother. My parents divorced while I was in high school. My dad married Karen and they had my half-brother Mikey almost right away.”

“How old is Mikey?”

“Twelve — going on thirteen.”

“What have you told them about me?”

“Everything. Except that you’re a T-girl. I left that part out.”

“Thanks for respecting my privacy.”

“I think at some point we should tell them.”

“Why?” Mae asked. “What business is it of theirs? I have no interest in the details of their genitalia. Why would they need to know about mine?”

“If it should come out, years down the road, they might feel deceived. How about we agree to cross that bridge when we get to it. For now, I’m not saying anything.”

“Fair enough.”

“Will I get to meet your mom?” she asked.

“My mother lives across the country. At some point we’ll schedule a visit. Mom’s cool ... She won’t have any problem with you.”

“Will your dad or Karen?”

“Like I said — Karen will be fine. My dad’s a little ... crusty, so be forewarned. It’s only for a long weekend — three nights ... and it’ll be after dinner before we get there tonight, and we leave early in the day on Monday. So it’s really only three nights and two days. You can handle that, can’t you?”

She nodded. “Yes. I think I can endure anything for three nights and two days.”

“That’s the girl ... Oh, by the way ... I love seeing you wear that pendant I gave you ... but I think maybe you should keep it out of sight this weekend. I don’t want either of us to have to explain its significance.”

She slipped the chain from her neck and dropped it into her bag. “Understood.”

It was well after dark on a late October Friday when we pulled into the driveway of a 1960s vintage ranch-style house. I popped the trunk and carried our bags to the front door.

My half brother opened the door. “Mom ... Dad ... Lenny’s here.”

My dad and Karen stepped to the door. “Karen ... Dad,” I said, “this is Mae.”

Mae extended her hand. “Pleased to meet you.”

My dad slapped me on the back. “So, Lenny — did you finally land a keeper?”

“I’ve known Mae eight months,” I replied. “I think I’ll keep her.”

“What about you?” my dad asked Mae. “Are you going to hang onto this geek?”

“I think so,” she said shyly.

“Come on — I’ll show you upstairs,” Karen said and led the way. “This is the guest room. Mae — you can sleep here. Lenny — you’ll need to use the spare bunk in Mikey’s room.”

I set Mae’s bag in the guest room. She stepped in and closed the door. “We can’t sleep together?” she whispered. “What’s with that?”

“Karen’s a little uptight about this — she doesn’t want to show a bad example to Mikey. At least, that’s what she told me.”

“Uptight? How long were the two of them married before Mikey came along?”

“To be honest,” I whispered, “I never bothered to count it out. Knowing Karen like I do, it had to be a minimum of nine months.”

“What credentials do we need to qualify for conjugal sleeping arrangements? A marriage license or would an engagement ring do?”

“My folks have known about you only for the past two months. To them this is all rather sudden. If we come back a year from now, I’d be willing to bet we’ll have earned our conjugal privileges.”

Mae crossed her arms and put her nose in the air. I chuckled. “What’s so funny?”

“Your indignation.” She glared at me, wide mouthed. “Your reaction to this is so purely and honestly female.” Mae clenched her jaw and I knew she was trying to determine if she should regard my statement with outrage or as a compliment. “It’s not how I want it, either. For my sake, can’t we both just suck it up? We’ll be in conjugal bliss Monday night.”

“If I don’t leave you, first,” she replied.

“What are the odds of that?”

“I don’t know ... better now than fifteen minutes ago.”

“Please, Mae — for my sake?”

“All right — for your sake.” She faked a yawn. “It’s getting late. I suppose I should turn in. See you in the morning, Lenny.”

Morning came. I waited for my turn in the house’s single shower, dressed and headed downstairs. Mae was sitting at the table nursing a cup of tea and talking to Karen. “Good morning,” I said

“Oh, Lenny.” Karen stood behind Mae’s chair, leaned over and embraced her from behind. “I just love your girlfriend. Mae is so adorable.”

“I’m happy you two hit it off.”

“Mae promised to show me how to prepare an authentic Thai dinner. After breakfast we’re going over to that new Asian grocery and she’s going to show me what to buy.”

“Great,” I replied. “Maybe I can tag along, too.”

“Actually, Lenny,” my father said from the doorway to the kitchen, “I was hoping you’d help me clean the leaves out of the gutters today.”

“But Dad — there are still leaves on the trees. You’ll just need to do it again in a couple of weeks.”

“Enough have fallen already that if we get a heavy rain the downspouts will clog and we’ll have seepage in the basement.”

“All right — I’ll help with the gutters.”

I watched Karen and Mae, engaged in an animated conversation, head out to the garage.

“Over here, Lenny,” I heard my father call. “I’ll hold the ladder for you.”

I climbed up onto the roof and began scooping wet leaves out of the gutter. My dad climbed up so his shoulders were level with the eaves. “So, Lenny,” he said, “how serious are you about this new girlfriend of yours?”

“Pretty serious. In fact, I’m planning on popping the question. I just need to find the right moment and setting.”

“Did you buy a ring?”

“I have one on order,” I replied. “It’s a real beauty. The stone is a new synthetic that’s indistinguishable from a diamond but a fraction of the cost.”

“You’re not rushing into this, are you?”

“I’ve known her for almost a whole year.”

“A whole year!” Dad replied with some sarcasm. “How much do you really know about her?”

“I know what I need to know.”

“Are you sure?”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I’d bet this month’s mortgage and next month’s too that she’s a tranny.”

I tried to stifle my shock. “A what?”

“Tranny ... ladyboy ... shemale — a good one, too.”

“That’s ridiculous,” I replied. “What would make you think that?”

“Lenny — I’ve been around the block a few more times than you. When I had business in Bangkok — I’d see them everywhere. The place was crawling with them — many of them real bowsers ... not like Mae. She’s a looker.”

“I can assure you Mae’s a looker because she’s all woman — nothing extra.”

“Have you two done it?” He made a circle with his left thumb and forefinger and poked his right index finger in and out of it.

“I can’t believe you asked me that and I will not dignify it with an answer. Mae is one hundred percent a woman.”

“Think what you like, Lenny — but I’d swear that she started out as a he.”

Karen’s car pulled into the driveway. She and Mae carried grocery sacks into the kitchen.

“That’s the last of the leaves,” I said to my dad and started climbing down the ladder. “I’ll see if they need any help inside.”

I stepped into the kitchen and saw my mom putting items into the refrigerator and cabinets.

Mikey charged in. “Mom — does Lenny have to sleep in my room again tonight?”

Karen faced him. “Why, is there a problem?”

“No — I just don’t like having someone in my room.”

“What was he — two when I went off to college?” I asked. “He’s not used to sharing his room.”

“Mikey, honey — Lenny has to sleep somewhere.”

“Can’t he sleep on the sofa? Or, he could sleep with Mae. I’ll bet they do that all the time at home.”