My mother-in-law, Beatrice, is one fine looking lady. In fact, I was trying for Bea when I met her daughter Mary who eventually became my wife. Bea was working behind the bar at my favorite watering hole and I had been trying for months to get her to give me a tumble. She would just laugh at me and remind me that she was an old married lady, but I sensed that she would eventually cave if I just kept after her.
One night I was sitting at the bar watching Bea's fine ass wiggle as she walked back and forth behind the bar when the back door opens and in walks a wet dream; long black hair, sparkling green eyes, and a body that most women would kill for. This vision walks to the end of the bar, sits down on the stool next to me, gives me a thousand-watt smile and says,
"Hey sailor. Buy a girl a drink?"
For a couple of seconds I just stared at her. I'm not a bad looking guy, but I've never been the sort that beautiful creatures like this one would approach and I could tell from the twinkle in her eye that she knew the effect that she was having on me. I shook the fog out of my head and called Bea over, "give the lovely lady what she wants" and Bea, without asking the woman anything, pulls a draft and sets it in front of her. Then Bea says, "Mary, this is Mike. Mike, say hello to Mary" and then she heads down to the other end of the bar. Mary took a sip of her brew and then said to me, "My mother tells me that you won't take no for an answer so she asked me to see if I could maybe take your attention off her."
Could you ever, I said to myself, but not believing for one minute that I had a chance of connecting with this gorgeous woman. Well, one thing led to another, and seven months later I asked her to marry me and she said yes.
The relationship between me and Bea shifted slightly; I still sat at the bar and admired her ass, but the conversation changed to ribald kidding - "You still got a chance Bea, I'm not married yet" or "Last chance to say yes before I say I do."
And then, one night before my bachelor party, I was sitting at the bar and I said to Bea, "Times running out on you. You only have two more days until I'm spoken for" and she said to me, "Tell you what Mike. My car broke down and I had to take a cab to work. Dave (my future father-in-law) is out of town and I need a ride home. You give me a ride home and I'll give you a kiss."
Like I was going to say no, right? I mean, what the hell, she was family now. I stuck around till the bar closed, although for the last hour I was on black coffee, and then we headed for her house. Not even two blocks away from the bar Bea slides over next to me and her hand went right to my zipper. I was so surprised that I damn near ran off the road.