And the Winner Is


Tags: Humor, .

Desc: Humor Story: A woman asks an author for help in understanding why her story didn't win the contest she entered. Satire.

Mr. Stephen King
Rural Road 1
New Hampshire, USA
Dear Mr. King,

My friend Becky said she knew you and I entered this story contest but I didn't win anything so I thought I would send you my story. They didn't even give me any feed back. Could you please criticize it for me? By the way, I learned in my writing class that you should always edit a story before sending it out so I used my spell checker.

The Love of Her Life

Mary had never met anyone like John. He was the love of her life. They were so close he would start her sentences. They were so close that he would sneeze and she would say, "God bless you." They were inseparable like they were stuck together with crazy glue. It was like she was a Pez and he was the dispenser.

She would never forget the day they met. It was at a party at her friend Becky's. Mary was just kind of standing around when she saw this guy just kind of standing around. That was John. They shared a look and then they both wandered over to get a bottle of beer.

There was Stoli, gin, tonic, rum, coke, White Zinfandel, Southern Comfort and Jack Daniels but we both got a beer. He smiled. She smiled. They kind of stood around for a while. Then they started to speak.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," she said.

"I'm John." He held out his hand.

"I'm Mary." She shook his hand.

"How are you?"

"I'm good. How about you?"

"I'm good too." They laughed nervously.

"It's nice in here. It's been really hot out."

"Yeah. Humid too."

"So who do you know? How did you get here? I mean who invited you?"

"Oh, I'm friends with Becky Thatcher," she said enthusiastically. "How about you?"

"Oh, my cousin Jim Jones was dating Becky's cousin's roommate Annie Williams."

"Wow, what an amazing coincidence," she said excitedly.

"Yeah, wow," he gushed.

"What do you do," she asked?

"I'm a baggage checker at the airport," he reported.

"That must be exciting," she enthused.

"What about you," he queried.

"I stock produce at the ACME," she responded.

"Wow. You must have to know a lot to do that kind of stuff, vegetables and all," he said admiringly.

"Yeah, I had to learn a lot of stuff," she confirmed.

"You want to go somewhere and do something," he invited?

I was so excited that my heart leapt into my mouth. I swallowed hard. "That's a great offer. I except kind sir," she agreed.

And so it went. It was a match made in heaven.

They had so much to talk about. And the sex was great. Especially when he would go out drinking with his friends and stop by her place at around 2:30 in the morning stinking drunk. He was so considerate he would always make sure to barf before he got there. And he lasted so much longer when he was drunk.

.... There is more of this story ...

The source of this story is Storiesonline

For the rest of this story you need to be logged in: Log In or Register for a Free account

Story tagged with:
Humor /