Chapter 1: Peter

My cousin Alex is mean. I don't mean that in any kind of nice way, either. I mean that in a 'the only reason we get along is 'cause he knows I can kick his ass from experience' kind of way. He's my best friend and I'd do almost anything for him, but to everybody else he can be really evil — unnecessary so.

About the time he passed puberty, that changed some. He got to be mostly ok and we started double dating a lot. We lost our virginity on the same night.

My Dad gave me a car after I passed the test and Alex and I would sometimes drive dates out to this spot we know on the Wicomico River. It's on private property but even if they catch us, we won't get arrested. They don't arrest McElroys in this county. I'm not saying that we're the richest family in town. But any family that celebrates it's bicentennial the same year the town hall does winds up with a few perks. We've got to go some to actually get arrested — my Uncle Wilton proved that — but us making out on somebody else's land won't even get noticed.

Alex's Dad is my second cousin George — I call him 'uncle' 'cause it's easier than 'second cousin' — anyway Uncle George gave us the lecture on safe sex and responsible dating like a week after my dad gave me the car 'cause I guess he's not too old to figure that one out. Dad must not be either because there was a box of condoms in the car when he gave it to me. All he said was "don't drink and drive" which is kinda stupid because I'm only seventeen and Alex is almost two years younger so we can't buy alcohol anyway. Well, not legally at least. Alex has his sources and I don't ask.

Anyway, Alex and I have our spot and sometimes we go up there to get busy and occasionally we go up there to get away from our large, nosy, weird family. Up there, I can tell Alex stuff that I can't tell anyone else and he's cool about it. I guess he does the same thing 'cause I know there's stuff that I know that his parents don't. Alex smokes, for one thing.

Tonight were up here alone 'cause he pissed me off. Again.

"No means fucking no, shithead." You wouldn't think you have to remind a guy something like that but Alex needs it taped to his god damn forehead.

"She was into it. She was laughing."

He's sitting on the hood of the car, blowing smoke rings. Which, actually, he's pretty good at.

"Kerrie said she was scared."

"What the fuck does she know?"

"She knows fucking no means no!"

I hit the car hard to get his attention, "Shit, dude! If you go down for rape I am totaling rolling over on you."

He looks at me — not sure how serious I am — then sighs deeply. "Yeah, whatever." He mutters, "She fat anyway." Which is as close to 'ok, I'll leave her alone' as he's going to get so that good enough for me.

This is not the first time he's pushed it, just the first time he's done it at the party where other people could see him not out here with just me and the girls. It's kinda beginning to worry me because ... I'm not sure exactly. I know we're kinda young for the whole sex thing, I guess, but there's something about the way he convinces girls — not forces, not really 'cause at least she says yes — that makes me sort of queasy. A lot of times, I ask my date to ask his if she's really ok and if not, I make up something to call the whole thing off. If Alex has caught on to that, he must be ok with it 'cause he hasn't said anything about it.

We sit in silence for a couple of minutes looking at the river and the stars. My Uncle Edward is a ship captain and he says if you watch the two of them long enough, you can see your future written in them. It's bullshit, I know, but I always catch myself looking for it anyway.

"I don't see it." Alex says all of a sudden.

"See what?" I ask, wondering if he's reading my mind or doing the exact same thing.

"Uncle Edward."

I nod. Alex and I tend to think alike. "Yeah.

I always look too. It's bullshit."