The Day That The Orgasms Stood Still

by Thesandman

Caution: This Humor Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Oral Sex, Masturbation, Squirting, Lactation, .

Desc: Humor Sex Story: Earth recieves an important warning.

The Day the Orgasm stood still.

"Bobby, be quiet, there's a news bulletin on the radio."

"What do they mean? UFO?" Bobby asked.

"Shh, shut up and listen or I'll box your ears, send you up to your room without dinner, or worse ... make you were a checkered shirt to school tomorrow, now be quiet, I'm trying to hear what they're saying!"

Helen Bendover listened intently to the news broadcaster. It seemed impossible that he could actually be reporting that an Unidentified Flying Object had actually landed at the Mall in Washington DC.

"Why would they land there? Bobby pestered his mother, "there's a lot nicer Mall just down the street from us," he said.

"Not that Mall you idiot!" Helen told her son, the Mall, Mall ... the Park."


"Now be quiet!"

"It's been reported that an alien spacecraft has now landed, but that the Army National guard is actually surrounding the entire area. People are advised to use caution as no one seems to have a fucking clue ... wait, I've just been handed something. What? What do you mean I can't say fucking on the air? This is a fucking space ship that's just landed you moron! I'll say fucking however much I want to, we're all liable to die here today, so I'm going to say fucking as much as I ... wait, wait, you can't take away my microphone ... I'm on the fucking..."

"Ladies and gentlemen, we interrupt this broadcast to apologize for the use of the "F" word during this news alert. We understand the excitement and concern that our ex-news reporter was feeling, it however in no way represents this stations views or content. We return you now to our regularly scheduled broadcast."


"Yes Bobby."

"What does fucking mean?"

"Not now Bobby, we're in a crisis here. I need to go talk to Professor Barn Yard about this and see what he has to say about it."

"Ok, but before you go, there's a lady here, she's sitting in the study, said she wanted to see you about the room we have for rent."

"What does she look like?"

"Tall, dark hair though she wears it really short, nice tits too!"


"Ok ... ok, I got the message. So you going to talk to her or not?"

"Well, we really do need to rent out that room, I guess the Professor can wait for a while longer."

Helen quickly entered the study where indeed a tall rather statuesque woman sat waiting for her.

"Hi ... I'm Helen Bendover, can I help you?"

"I'm ... my name is Clit-toe, I saw your sign out front advertising a room for rent?"

"Clit-toe? That's your name? Kind of unusual isn't it?"

"It is?"

"Well hell yes, what mother and father in their right minds would name a girl Clit-toe for Gods sakes! I mean bad enough your last name's Toe."

"It is?"

"Well isn't it?"

"Ah no ... the names um, Catheter."


"Yes, Miss Catheter."

"You're telling me your actual name is Clit-toe Catheter,"

"Ok. My name is Clit-toe Catheter."

"Listen Clit, or whoever the hell you are, I really don't have time for this. Haven't you heard the news? Some sort of Alien space ship has just landed in the middle of Washington, I'm on my way to talk to Professor Barn Yard about it right now."

"A Professor? What kind of Professor is he?" Clit asked.

"Hell I don't know, does stuff with mathematics, way over my head ... but then I only finished High School. He's currently working on some sort of a study with some nut by the name of Kinsey, something to do with reproduction I think."

"Where might I find this Professor Barn Yard?" Clit asked. "This sounds like someone I need to speak with, something to do with why I'm here in the first place."

"Well if you want, I guess you can tag along with me."

"That would be great, thank you."

"Oh, and do you still want the room?"

"Yes, I do ... I'll only need it for a few days."

"You know, this isn't a fucking hotel, you could have gotten a room at the Y or at the local Motel Six, or is that sex? I never can remember which one it really is ... anyway, I was thinking along the lines of renting it to someone who was actually planning to stay here a bit longer than that."

"Will this serve as payment?" Clit asked, handing Helen a full carat diamond.

"Are you kidding me? You're offering me a diamond for the room?"

"Do you need more?"

"Do you have more?"

Clit reached into her pocket and produced a handful of the precious gems.

"Jesus H. Christ! What are you a diamond smuggler or something?"

"Smuggler? No ... I just always carry them with me, I've noticed that they usually get me whatever I may need."

"No shit Sherlock," Helen said taking several other diamonds. "Ok, so we have a deal and you have a room for a few days."

Just then the cab they were riding in pulled up in front of Professor Barn Yards home.

"This is it," Helen told Clit-Toe. "Let's go see if he's here."

"Is the Professor in?" Helen asked one of his assistants.

"He is, but he's up stairs with Dr. Kinsey, they've asked not to be disturbed at the moment as they're busy with a study, well ... three of them in fact."

"I see," Helen said. "Would you at least tell him that Helen is here? And that a Miss Clit-Toe has something very important that she'd like to speak to the professor about."

The assistant soon left, and Clit-Toe walked over to a black board containing a lot of mathematical equations. She looked at it for a moment, then erased a section of it and added in a couple of strange looking drawings that appeared highly sexual in nature.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Helen asked grabbing the chalk away from Clit. "You can't come in here and erase work he's been working on for years now!"

"Don't worry, I think once Professor Barn Yard sees what I've done, he'll want to speak with me."

"I have to admit, you're pretty good with the chalk," Helen said eyeing the erotic sketches that Clit had left for him to see. You wouldn't be into women would you by chance?"

"Where I come from, there's no such thing as heterosexuals," Clit told her. "We're both."

"Oh ... so you're bi-sexual then."

"You could say that, yes." Clit told her. "Perhaps I'll show you tomorrow what I mean by that, say about noon?"

"Why noon? Or are you really into nooner's?"

"Let's just say I'm planning a little demonstration that I hope will get everyone's attention."

"Oh ... I see, an exhibitionist as well then?"

At that moment the assistant came back into the room. "I'm sorry, but the Professor is balls deep in his work and said he just can't see you right now. Perhaps later after they've finished with all three of their studies."

"I really must get going myself," Clit told Helen. "I think I'll walk down to the Mall and have a look at things myself."

"You're going down to see the space ship? I'd like to come with you, I understand there's also some sort of metallic looking robot or something that's standing guard it front of it that I wouldn't mind seeing either. They said he's 'well endowed' in fact, and I wouldn't mind having a look at that myself."

A short time later they were standing a few feet away from the flying saucer as well as the nine-foot Adonis that looking like molten metal, though he did indeed have a twelve-inch penis that was flaccid at the moment just hanging there between his legs.

"My God! Would you look at the size of that prick?"

"He's actually not so bad once you get to know him."


"I mean, yes ... he is big isn't he?"

Several others stood around gawking at the metallic looking creature, and though the entire area was surrounded by the Army, one woman slipped through the lines and made it all the way up to were the creature stood.

"Would you look at the size of this cock?" She said turning towards her girl friends, then reached forward to touch it.

"No!" Clit yelled out suddenly, but it was too late. The creatures phallus suddenly began to stiffen, glowing brightly as it did. "Now she's in for it," Clit sighed.

"What? What's happened? What's happening?" Helen asked worriedly.

"Just watch, you'll see." Clit told her. Sure enough, the woman stood frozen in place as the creatures dick lengthened even more, still glowing, then suddenly it sprayed out a bright white streamer of phosphorescent goo. The moment it hit the woman, she began convulsing uncontrollably. Several of the soldiers raised their weapons to fire at the creature, but it began jacking its self off shooting additional ribbons of its phosphorescent spunk at them as well, until they too had succumbed to whatever it was that was happening to the woman.

"What's happening to her? To them?" Helen pointed as several of the soldiers now fell to the ground writhing and undulating suggestively.

"They're having orgasms," Clit told her. "Which will continue for quite some time I'm afraid."

"Really?" Helen said with a smile. "Orgasms?"

"Yeah ... really, really big ones too."

Helen started to move towards the creature.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" Clit said grabbing her arm.

"It's been a while since I've even had one ... I just thought..."

"No ... not now, not here. Let's go back to my room, there's something I want to tell you and show you before that demonstration tomorrow."

"Your room huh?" Helen grinned looking at her watch. "Yeah, we should have time yet if we hurry. Bobby won't be home from school yet for a few hours. And after everything that I've seen here today, I'd damn fucking horny!"

.... There is more of this story ...

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Story tagged with:
Oral Sex / Masturbation / Squirting / Lactation /