The Day That The Orgasms Stood Still

by Thesandman

Caution: This Humor Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Oral Sex, Masturbation, Squirting, Lactation, .

Desc: Humor Sex Story: Earth recieves an important warning.

The Day the Orgasm stood still.

"Bobby, be quiet, there's a news bulletin on the radio."

"What do they mean? UFO?" Bobby asked.

"Shh, shut up and listen or I'll box your ears, send you up to your room without dinner, or worse ... make you were a checkered shirt to school tomorrow, now be quiet, I'm trying to hear what they're saying!"

Helen Bendover listened intently to the news broadcaster. It seemed impossible that he could actually be reporting that an Unidentified Flying Object had actually landed at the Mall in Washington DC.

"Why would they land there? Bobby pestered his mother, "there's a lot nicer Mall just down the street from us," he said.

"Not that Mall you idiot!" Helen told her son, the Mall, Mall ... the Park."


"Now be quiet!"

"It's been reported that an alien spacecraft has now landed, but that the Army National guard is actually surrounding the entire area. People are advised to use caution as no one seems to have a fucking clue ... wait, I've just been handed something. What? What do you mean I can't say fucking on the air? This is a fucking space ship that's just landed you moron! I'll say fucking however much I want to, we're all liable to die here today, so I'm going to say fucking as much as I ... wait, wait, you can't take away my microphone ... I'm on the fucking..."

"Ladies and gentlemen, we interrupt this broadcast to apologize for the use of the "F" word during this news alert. We understand the excitement and concern that our ex-news reporter was feeling, it however in no way represents this stations views or content. We return you now to our regularly scheduled broadcast."


"Yes Bobby."

"What does fucking mean?"

"Not now Bobby, we're in a crisis here. I need to go talk to Professor Barn Yard about this and see what he has to say about it."

"Ok, but before you go, there's a lady here, she's sitting in the study, said she wanted to see you about the room we have for rent."

"What does she look like?"

"Tall, dark hair though she wears it really short, nice tits too!"


"Ok ... ok, I got the message. So you going to talk to her or not?"

"Well, we really do need to rent out that room, I guess the Professor can wait for a while longer."

Helen quickly entered the study where indeed a tall rather statuesque woman sat waiting for her.

"Hi ... I'm Helen Bendover, can I help you?"

"I'm ... my name is Clit-toe, I saw your sign out front advertising a room for rent?"

"Clit-toe? That's your name? Kind of unusual isn't it?"

"It is?"

"Well hell yes, what mother and father in their right minds would name a girl Clit-toe for Gods sakes! I mean bad enough your last name's Toe."

"It is?"

"Well isn't it?"

"Ah no ... the names um, Catheter."


"Yes, Miss Catheter."

"You're telling me your actual name is Clit-toe Catheter,"

"Ok. My name is Clit-toe Catheter."

"Listen Clit, or whoever the hell you are, I really don't have time for this. Haven't you heard the news? Some sort of Alien space ship has just landed in the middle of Washington, I'm on my way to talk to Professor Barn Yard about it right now."

"A Professor? What kind of Professor is he?" Clit asked.

"Hell I don't know, does stuff with mathematics, way over my head ... but then I only finished High School. He's currently working on some sort of a study with some nut by the name of Kinsey, something to do with reproduction I think."

"Where might I find this Professor Barn Yard?" Clit asked. "This sounds like someone I need to speak with, something to do with why I'm here in the first place."

"Well if you want, I guess you can tag along with me."

"That would be great, thank you."

"Oh, and do you still want the room?"

"Yes, I do ... I'll only need it for a few days."

"You know, this isn't a fucking hotel, you could have gotten a room at the Y or at the local Motel Six, or is that sex? I never can remember which one it really is ... anyway, I was thinking along the lines of renting it to someone who was actually planning to stay here a bit longer than that."

"Will this serve as payment?" Clit asked, handing Helen a full carat diamond.

"Are you kidding me? You're offering me a diamond for the room?"

"Do you need more?"

"Do you have more?"

Clit reached into her pocket and produced a handful of the precious gems.

"Jesus H. Christ! What are you a diamond smuggler or something?"

"Smuggler? No ... I just always carry them with me, I've noticed that they usually get me whatever I may need."

"No shit Sherlock," Helen said taking several other diamonds. "Ok, so we have a deal and you have a room for a few days."

Just then the cab they were riding in pulled up in front of Professor Barn Yards home.

"This is it," Helen told Clit-Toe. "Let's go see if he's here."

"Is the Professor in?" Helen asked one of his assistants.

"He is, but he's up stairs with Dr. Kinsey, they've asked not to be disturbed at the moment as they're busy with a study, well ... three of them in fact."

"I see," Helen said. "Would you at least tell him that Helen is here? And that a Miss Clit-Toe has something very important that she'd like to speak to the professor about."

The assistant soon left, and Clit-Toe walked over to a black board containing a lot of mathematical equations. She looked at it for a moment, then erased a section of it and added in a couple of strange looking drawings that appeared highly sexual in nature.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Helen asked grabbing the chalk away from Clit. "You can't come in here and erase work he's been working on for years now!"

"Don't worry, I think once Professor Barn Yard sees what I've done, he'll want to speak with me."

"I have to admit, you're pretty good with the chalk," Helen said eyeing the erotic sketches that Clit had left for him to see. You wouldn't be into women would you by chance?"

"Where I come from, there's no such thing as heterosexuals," Clit told her. "We're both."

"Oh ... so you're bi-sexual then."

"You could say that, yes." Clit told her. "Perhaps I'll show you tomorrow what I mean by that, say about noon?"

"Why noon? Or are you really into nooner's?"

"Let's just say I'm planning a little demonstration that I hope will get everyone's attention."

"Oh ... I see, an exhibitionist as well then?"

At that moment the assistant came back into the room. "I'm sorry, but the Professor is balls deep in his work and said he just can't see you right now. Perhaps later after they've finished with all three of their studies."

"I really must get going myself," Clit told Helen. "I think I'll walk down to the Mall and have a look at things myself."

"You're going down to see the space ship? I'd like to come with you, I understand there's also some sort of metallic looking robot or something that's standing guard it front of it that I wouldn't mind seeing either. They said he's 'well endowed' in fact, and I wouldn't mind having a look at that myself."

A short time later they were standing a few feet away from the flying saucer as well as the nine-foot Adonis that looking like molten metal, though he did indeed have a twelve-inch penis that was flaccid at the moment just hanging there between his legs.

"My God! Would you look at the size of that prick?"

"He's actually not so bad once you get to know him."


"I mean, yes ... he is big isn't he?"

Several others stood around gawking at the metallic looking creature, and though the entire area was surrounded by the Army, one woman slipped through the lines and made it all the way up to were the creature stood.

"Would you look at the size of this cock?" She said turning towards her girl friends, then reached forward to touch it.

"No!" Clit yelled out suddenly, but it was too late. The creatures phallus suddenly began to stiffen, glowing brightly as it did. "Now she's in for it," Clit sighed.

"What? What's happened? What's happening?" Helen asked worriedly.

"Just watch, you'll see." Clit told her. Sure enough, the woman stood frozen in place as the creatures dick lengthened even more, still glowing, then suddenly it sprayed out a bright white streamer of phosphorescent goo. The moment it hit the woman, she began convulsing uncontrollably. Several of the soldiers raised their weapons to fire at the creature, but it began jacking its self off shooting additional ribbons of its phosphorescent spunk at them as well, until they too had succumbed to whatever it was that was happening to the woman.

"What's happening to her? To them?" Helen pointed as several of the soldiers now fell to the ground writhing and undulating suggestively.

"They're having orgasms," Clit told her. "Which will continue for quite some time I'm afraid."

"Really?" Helen said with a smile. "Orgasms?"

"Yeah ... really, really big ones too."

Helen started to move towards the creature.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" Clit said grabbing her arm.

"It's been a while since I've even had one ... I just thought..."

"No ... not now, not here. Let's go back to my room, there's something I want to tell you and show you before that demonstration tomorrow."

"Your room huh?" Helen grinned looking at her watch. "Yeah, we should have time yet if we hurry. Bobby won't be home from school yet for a few hours. And after everything that I've seen here today, I'd damn fucking horny!"

Clit looked her over curiously. "I don't see any," she said, "unless they're beneath your clothing."

"You're really a strange duck aren't you?"

"Duck? No ... we don't even have any of those where I come from, we're just..."

"Yeah I know you told me ... bi-sexuals?"

"Well ... sort of, but like I said, I'll have to show you and explain to you what I mean."

"Lets get out of here then," Helen said looking back at the still orgasming men and women, some of which had now begun coupling with one another on the lawn. This is starting to get out of hand here, and I prefer my pleasures in private."

"Yes ... it's best of we go," Clit-toe stated. That substance can spread and affect everyone it comes into contact with."

They quickly left as more and more people began tearing their clothes off and began fucking all over the park, some of which had even begun to do so on top of the tanks that had encircled the UFO.

"That can't be comfortable," Helen said looking back one last time. "But those couples doing it on the Merry-go-round look like they're having fun!"

They made it back to Helen's house where her fiancé' met them inside.

"Shit!" Helen said entering her home. "Marvin's here."


"Yeah, he's my idiotic fiancé', we're supposed to be getting married soon, but I'm having second thoughts about it."

"Second thoughts?"

"Yeah, he's got some thing about saving it for the wedding night, and that's got me worried because the last thing I need is to marry a guy that can't satisfy me after we're married."

"Helen!" Marvin said interrupting them. "Have you heard about the space ship and the big pricked robot?"

"He's actually not that bad," Clit said.

"What? Who's this anyway Helen?" Marvin said eyeing Clit up and down, smiling with a wink.

"This is ah ... Miss Catheter," Helen told him. "She's from out of town and is renting a room from me for a few days."

"Well, perhaps we can all get together later and..."

"Marvin? You said there was something else you wanted to tell me?" Helen said glaring at him as Marvin finally tore his eyes away from Clit's chest.

"Oh yes ... as I was saying, Professor Barn Yard just called, he was all excited about some sort of drawings and sketches that someone had left for him."

"I'm not surprised," Helen said, "I thought they were damn exciting myself," she said with a giggle, winking at Clit on the sly.

"Well, he wants you to call him immediately, and I want to go down to the Mall and have a look at this creature for myself," he told them.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Clit said.

"No ... let him go," Helen said grinning even wider now. "Who knows? It might even do him some good."

"What?" Marvin asked.

"Never mind darling ... you go have a look at what's happening, and I'll show Clit..."

"Show who?"

"Ummm Clit-ton, here ... her room."

"Very well," Marvin said turning. Then grinned suggestively at Clit, "Perhaps the three of us can have dinner later," he suggested smiling.

"Perhaps," Clit responded not really meaning it.

Marvin soon left, and Helen took Clit's hand leading her upstairs. "Come on, we don't have a lot of time left before Bobby gets home, and you were going to show me a few things. Yes?"

"Just as soon as you call Professor Barn Yard, and set a meeting up with him for tomorrow," Clit told her. "I really do need to speak with him before noon."

Clit was to meet with the Professor first thing in the morning. "You're sure he'll invite some of the finest minds in the world to be there?" Clit asked nervously. "It's important that they are."

"Don't worry ... if he said they'll be there, they'll be there. Now ... what was it you were going to show and tell me about again?" Helen said as she began unbuttoning her blouse. Clit quickly began doing the same.

"I'm glad you're more open-minded than most other's I've met here," Clit told her.

"Well, like I told you, I always have been sort of curious, not to mention being extremely horny."

Once again Clit looked over her body as Helen quickly stripped off the rest of her clothing.

"Well if you are, I certainly can't see it." She said curiously.

"Well, how about I show you then?" Helen said stepping over towards her, running her hands over and around Clit's firm enticingly pointed breasts. "Hey ... you lactating?" she questioned in surprise as two tiny little droplets of phosphorescence cream suddenly appeared at the tips of each nipple. "This looks like..."

"Better to show you than explain it right now," Clit said. "Go ahead, suck on them."

Helen quickly, and greedily did so. "Hey ... I'm starting to feel a little light-headed," she said almost dreamily. "Whatever this stuff is, it sure tastes good!"

"And feels good too I'll bet huh?"

"It's sure starting too ... I almost swear I could have an orgasm just standing here."

"Actually, you could ... and will. But I'd prefer to show you what I mean about that demonstration tomorrow, why don't we move over towards the bed?"

"You know, I've never gone down on another woman before," Helen told her. "Good hell ... and you've got a really, really big clit too!" She said. "No wonder they call you that!"

"Go ahead, suck on it a little," Clit said with a needful moan. "There's something else I need to show and do for you," she added.

Helen began licking and sucking the woman's pussy, and to her surprise, as she did so, Clit's clit suddenly began to grow, bigger ... and bigger ... and bigger.

"Holy fucking A!" Helen said now actually wrapping her fist around the woman's clit. "This thing is huge!"

"Thank you," Clit said. "How are you feeling anyway?"

"I think I'm fucking as high as a kite! I don't know what's in those boobs of yours, but whatever it is, it's a whole lot better than that shit my ex-husband used to grow."

"You haven't seen anything yet," Clit informed her. "Just keep sucking on that for a few more minutes, and I'll guarantee you'll experience something you've never felt before."

"I think I can make that same bet," Helen told Clit. "I've been told I'm pretty damn good at this myself, so perhaps I can make you feel something you've never felt before too!" she grinned getting higher and higher by the minute. "I'm willing to bet I can make you see stars!"

"Oh? Which ones?" Clit asked. "I wasn't aware that your species had that ability,"

Helen was too busy sucking the woman's engorged clit to answer however, though Clit responded for her. "Damn ... maybe you do Helen, maybe you really do!"

"I can't believe how fucking big you are!" Helen said minutes later. "You're as big if not bigger than that ex-husband of mine. In fact ... I wouldn't mind actually climbing on and fucking this."

"I was just about to suggest that," Clit told her. "So I can truly show you what I've been talking about."

Helen quickly climbed up on Clit, sliding her own wet juicy pussy down over the woman's clit until it had penetrated her fully, "Wouldn't Marvin love seeing this!" she said lustily. "Always did want to have a threesome anyway ... maybe later?" She said hopefully. "After dinner and after Bobby goes to bed?"

"I'm not sure you'll have recovered fully by then," Clit warned.


"I'm going to shoot inside you now," Clit told her.

"Fuck! Already? We've barely even..."

She never finished the statement though. Clit began spurting her phosphorescent jisim into Helen's cunt, and the moment she began doing so, it quickly spread throughout her entire body absorbed into the blood stream.

"Holy fucking shit!" Helen wailed out screaming at the top of her voice, "I'm cumming! I'm cumming! I'm cumming!"

Clit had redressed herself looking down at Helen who still continued to thrash around on top of the bed, wild-eyed and still very much in the throes of orgasm. It had been nearly twenty minutes now, and she hadn't let up, even after Clit had all but forcibly extricated herself from the woman's spasimng pussy.

"Don't worry, it won't last too much longer," Clit told her. "It's not like Gert's spunk."

"Gert? Who the fuck's Gert? And who says I want this to stop anyway?" Helen said, her eyes nearly crossing as she continued to feel wave after wave of pleasurable ecstasy. "I've never cum like this before in my entire life, and hell ... you're not even doing anything to me any more and I'm still cumming!"

Helen continued to lie there on the bed for a while longer, pulling on her own tits, squeezing her nipples harder than she had ever squeezed them before, slapping her cunt with her hand though she hardly needed to, she knew that she could keep climaxing without even touching herself. But finally ... Helen began to feel the pleasure beginning to slip away. "Oh fuck no! No!" She said anxiously. "I'm just starting to enjoy this!"

"You certainly are different than most," Clit had to admit. "An orgasm of that intensity usually paralyzes people for a while afterwards, though I am confident you will be fairly drained once you've calmed down again."

"Yeah well, like I said, it's been a while. Maybe I just had some catching up to do." She said that, already feeling sleepy however, realizing that she was indeed finally coming down from the most hellacious orgasm she'd ever had before in her entire life.


"Yeah?" She responded, now barely able to keep her eyes open.

"If anything happens to me tomorrow, I need you to do something for me," Clit told her.

'Sure ... what?" Helen said barely able to even stay awake now.

"I need you to give Gert a message for me."


"Yeah ... that Robot that's standing by the space ship."

"That's Gert? The one with the big dick?"

"Yep, that's him."

"What do you want me to tell him?" Helen asked half asleep now.

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Story tagged with:
Oral Sex / Masturbation / Squirting / Lactation /