Brother Hayes looked nervously around as he shuffled down the corridor. His candle sent flickering shadows across the walls. In his overwrought imagination they took on the fearful shapes of imps and demons, grasping and clutching at him.
God, please preserve my humble soul, he thought as he scurried down the corridor.
What had they been thinking? For research purposes? Borgnine was mad and he was even more insane for going along with it.
He opened the door and entered the large cavern of the dining room. All the lamps were out and silver moonlight sent fingers of light along the tables and floor.
He might be okay.
He scurried across the floor and headed for the door to the kitchens.
It had seemed very busy with Borgnine when he'd run away. It might still be ... still be ... no best not to think of it.
He heard a noise from above him in the darkness. It sounded like claws scrabbling on stone. There was another sound as well, leathery, like bats leaving a cave at dusk.
Oh God, Hayes thought. He tried the handle of the door.
He fumbled with a heavy iron key ring.
A shadow passed overhead. Something landed softly next to Hayes. He caught the scent of an exotic perfume.
He heard a feminine giggle, sultry and full of malice.
Something leaned over and blew the candle out.
"Carpenter, as your Vatican appointed superior, I order you not to take this case."
Debra Castle's angry face filled the monitor screen.
"I can handle it," Kurt Carpenter said. He put on an ammo belt filled with shotgun shells. He checked his gun and holstered it at his belt. He strapped a holster containing a wickedly sharp knife to his ankle.
When did the church get so full of spineless pussies? There was a demon; he was a demon slayer, ordained by the pope himself. It didn't get much simpler.
"No you can't. This is too dangerous."
"They said that about the Shoggoloth. I took care of it. This is just a minor demon."
Carpenter picked up a silver-edged katana from the rack on the wall and sheathed it behind his back.
He'd heard the same whines when he went after the Shoggoloth.
'It's too powerful. It's too dangerous. We can't risk you. Blah blah blah.'
Carpenter didn't know the meaning of 'can't'
Sure, the Shoggoloth had nearly killed him, but if he'd wanted an easy fight he'd have stayed in the marines to fight the camel-humpers out in Eye-Raq.
Demons were tough but they weren't invincible. You just had to hit them a lot harder.
Carpenter had dropped a church on the Shoggoloth and driven a burning fuel tanker into the crater. Job done.
"This is different," Castle ranted at him from the monitor, her pinched face red.
Carpenter ignored her. He opened up a leather bag and threw in a mace, an axe, an ornate crucifix, a mallet, some stakes and several vials of holy water.
"We've invested too much time and money in training you for you to throw your life and soul away."
Carpenter put on a heavy biker's jacket. A flaming hand with the legend 'The Lord's Vengeance' was painted on the back. He picked up a shotgun and propped it on his shoulder.
"Don't be an idiot Carpenter," Castle continued to rant, an irritating mosquito whine in the background. "It's a succubus. Men can't fight —"
Carpenter switched off the monitor. He put on his shades and stole a glance at himself in a mirror as he walked out of the room.
Yeah, we're bad.
"So gentleman, I hear you have a demon problem."
The two monks stared at Carpenter as if he'd just touched down from Mars. He supposed they didn't get out that much. The brown robes they wore looked like they belonged to some other age about five centuries ago. The older one with the weaselly face was the abbot. The younger man with the ferrety face was the abbot's assistant.
Carpenter hoped they hadn't sworn an oath of silence or anything like that otherwise this was going to be a real fucking pain in the ass.
"I'm the official demon slayer of the church," Carpenter tried again. "I've come to kill your demon."
"The church sent you?" The abbot sounded puzzled, although that could be his normal expression. He looked old.
"Oh thank the Lord," the younger man chimed in. "Our prayers have been answered."
"So what can you tell me about this demon?" Carpenter asked as he followed them both into the brooding mass of the monastery. It had taken him the best part of a day to get here and the sun was already low in the sky, sending out long claws of shadow as it kissed the stone walls.
"It arrived three nights ago," ferret-face said. "I fear two of our juniors decided to experiment with forces far beyond their knowledge and summoned it. We found the remains of Brother Hayes in the dining room and Brother Borgnine in the library. The library is where the demon has taken up home. Every night it pollutes our dreams with ... vile images. Two more of our junior brethren were unable to resist temptation and gave themselves to the demon."
"The demon is a succubus," the abbot said, "a vile spirit of lust and lasciviousness. It is a sexual vampire that tempts men into sexual congress and then consumes their souls."
They took Carpenter through a large open court and then into a large dining area with long tables. Carpenter saw very little activity. Men in brown robes watched him from the shadows and spoke in hushed tones.
"Many of the brethren have fled," ferret-face continued. "I fear for the monastery's future if we are unable to get it to leave."
"You can stop being afraid," Carpenter smiled wolfishly. "Your little demon is about to get a first class ticket back to hell."
They left the main dining room and walked up a small flight of steps, entering a cold stone corridor just inside the monastery walls.
"Um, are you gay?" the younger monk asked.
Carpenter preferred to let his fists answer that question. He punched out two of the little faggot's teeth and watched him spin into the wall before slowly collapsing in a heap.
The abbot's eyebrows raised a little, but that was about as expressive as his face got.
"I think what my younger assistant was trying to point out — albeit crudely — is that the church never sends a male demon slayer to fight succubi. They are purported to have a legendary ... ahem ... arousing affect on men."
Carpenter wondered what books the abbot had been poring over in the wee hours of the morning. Dirty bastard.
Carpenter smiled. "There's no need to worry about me," he said. "I'm a man of the world. I don't think it'll be able to offer me anything I haven't already done."
They stopped outside a heavy wooden door. This place was positively medieval, Carpenter thought. That was the problem with the crusty church types; they never moved on.
Never send a male slayer, what kind of stupidity was that. Some old bishop had probably spouted it in a drunken stupor centuries ago and everybody since was too afraid of change to countermand it.
"Is this the place?" Carpenter asked.
"Yes," the abbot replied.
Carpenter drew his shotgun and faced the door.
"Um. You appear to be carrying a lot of weaponry," the abbot said. "I don't want to sound as if I have the wrong priorities..."
Carpenter lifted up a heavy boot.
" ... but the library does contain a number of very rare — priceless even — books. I would like to ask you to please take this into account when..."
Carpenter kicked the door in with a spray of splinters. He charged in, keeping low with the shotgun primed and ready.
"Please be careful," the abbot called plaintively after him.
Shit, the room was bigger than Carpenter expected. He'd expected some poky little room with bookshelves along each wall. Instead the library was a stone hall about the length of a running track. Rows and rows of books stood like dominoes on either side of a central aisle.
He spotted the demon immediately. It was hanging upside down from a wooden beam like a bat, its black wings folded around its body. The setting sun sent shafts of light through the narrow windows behind it. An elaborate chalk circle was drawn on the stone floor beneath it. This must have been what the monks used to summon it.
Carpenter's loud intrusion had already woken the demon. It snarled at him before unfurling midnight black wings.
Carpenter brought up the shotgun and fired in one smooth motion. There wasn't a lot he could do at this range though. The demon dropped down from its perch and took cover behind one of the bookshelves.
So much for having the element of surprise, Carpenter thought as he sprinted down the aisle. He reached the last bookcase, turned and...
... the demon was a babe.
She leaned against a bookcase, her hips pushed forward as she struck a provocative pose. She wasn't wearing a stitch of clothing. Her voluptuous figure was completely naked. Carpenter marvelled at the full swell of her ample breasts, her long legs and the elegant features of her face. Black hair cascaded down her back in waves.
The babe was a demon.
Her skin was a deep blood red. Two black wings were folded behind her back. A tail, complete with a little arrow point, flicked back and forth between her ankles. Her ears were pointed, she had two horns on her head and her eyes looked like two doorways into the abyss. Despite this her face was still more beautiful than the most exotic model.
She was a demon babe. No, she was a demon mega-babe.
"So you're the big bad demon hunter come to send me back to hell," she pouted.
She turned towards Carpenter, showing him the hairless folds of her pussy. The labia were already moist.
"Are you sure you wouldn't like to play with me first?" she asked. She held out her arms.
Fuck yeah, Carpenter thought. Then he remembered she'd already killed four monks.
"I heard you play rough darlin'," he said. "Guess what, so do I."
He levelled the shotgun in her direction and pulled the trigger.
He missed. Like a dancer she gracefully pirouetted away down the aisle. In the space she'd vacated books exploded in little white puffs of paper.
How did that happen? He was standing practically right next to her.
Carpenter gave chase to her slender form as she ran down the aisles. He got off two more shots, but both went wild, putting trashcan lid sized holes in the ornate bookcases.
He turned the next corner and slammed on the brakes as a razor-edged wing lashed out and nearly took his head off.
Good job you've got panther-like reflexes, he thought.
The succubus followed up the attack as her red tail came at him like a whip. It coiled around the barrel of his shotgun, the arrow-tipped point slashing through his ammo belt on the way, bare millimetres from his chest. The demon gave a sharp tug and Carpenter's gun was wrenched from his hands to clatter away across the stone floor.
With his weapon out of the way the succubus came at Carpenter in a flurry of claws and black leathery wings. He somersaulted backwards as one of her talons neatly sliced open the arm of his leather jacket. As he fell back against a shelf he drew his handgun in one smooth motion and got off four shots. One missed, two punctured her wings and the fourth smashed into her shoulder, spinning her like a top.
She gave a shriek of both pain and fury before leaping up over a bookshelf. Carpenter fired twice more, but he was off balance and both missed.
Gotcha bitch, he thought.
It wouldn't be enough though. He'd hit her high on the left shoulder, a flesh wound at best. Contrary to popular superstition demons weren't invulnerable to conventional weapons, they just healed real fast. You either had to deal them massive amounts of damage to overwhelm their natural healing capacity or hit them with something that screwed it up.
Like silver, Carpenter thought, drawing his katana.
Time for slice'n'dice bitch.
He heard her chanting over to his right in a language he didn't understand. He doubted any human would. The syllables lingered and hung in the air as if they possessed a malevolent half-life of their own.
The mumbo-jumbo. Damn. He hated it when they started with the mumbo-jumbo.
Tendrils of pink mist rose up from the stone floor and suffused the library in a soft fog. The musky aroma of a subtle perfume playfully teased his nostrils.
Carpenter continued to stalk her through the misty aisles. His cock was stiff in his trousers with the thrill of the hunt.
The demon leapt out from his left in a blur of black claws. Carpenter frantically brought up the katana to parry while simultaneously swivelling sideways to dodge her attack.
Damn, his reactions were off tonight. Her claws raked through his jacket, missing his flesh but ruining his coat.
He should have dodged that easily.
The demon carried on with her charge, scaling a bookcase and slipping out of sight. Carpenter's swishing blow after her only managed to chop a heavy tome in two.
His jacket — his favourite jacket — was toast. The bitch had slashed it to ribbons. He shrugged off the sad remains and continued to stalk through the mist, holding the katana out before him. Pink mist swirled through the aisles, narrowing visibility and filling the air with a musky aroma that reminded Carpenter of sex.
Where are you bitch?
Carpenter heard chanting behind him and spun round just in time to see a ball of fire leave the succubus's hands and roar down the aisle towards him.
Carpenter tried to dodge, but his reactions really were shitty this evening. The fireball caught him on the side and blasted him backwards into a bookcase. A burning smell filled his nostrils and he realised it was probably him, or at least his clothes. They were still on fire. Carpenter frantically tore them off before they burnt the flesh beneath. The smouldering ash of burnt books floated around him like snow.
"Mmm, you're a big boy," the succubus said appreciatively as she looked over his mostly naked body.
She was leaning on a bookshelf at the other end of the aisle, her naked pussy still pushed alluringly forward.
"Do you still want to continue this ridiculous fight?" she said. "I can think of far better ways to spend our time." She pumped her hips forward and her pussy gaped invitingly open.
"Sorry babe, necrophilia ain't my thing..."
Carpenter reached down to his ankle holster, drew a silver knife and threw it at her in one smooth moment.
" ... and you're about to be..."
At the same time he was thinking about how much he'd like to fuck that nice piece of ass.
The knife whistled past her right ear and sank, quivering, into a heavy old tome.
The succubus laughed mockingly and walked around the corner.
What the fuck? He should have split her head in two.
Angrily he picked up his sword and charged after her.
I'll slice you to fucking ribbons with my sword, bitch, Carpenter thought. I'll thrust it right through your body. Thrust it right in and out. In and out...
An image entered his mind, but it was his cock he was thrusting in and out of her.
What the fuck was wrong with him?
He rushed around the corner only to find the succubus waiting for him. She leant forward, put a hand to her pouting lips and blew him a kiss.
The blown kiss rushed into him like a physical force. It knocked him off his feet and sent him skidding backwards across the floor. He dropped the katana and it clattered away from him. A pleasant tingly feeling ran across his naked flesh.
Carpenter didn't have time to recover his sword. The succubus was already pouncing, her breasts swaying hypnotically in the air.
He caught her claw-tipped hands at the wrists as her body crashed into him, knocking him back to the ground. Her fanged mouth snapped shut mere centimetres from his exposed throat.
Fuck, this was not the position he wanted to be in.
The fangs lunged again, almost close enough to graze his skin.
She was strong, maybe stronger than the average man.
Carpenter was anything but the average man. His body was at peak fitness. He twisted an elbow under her chin and pushed up, forcing her teeth away from his throat.
Yeah, we're bad. I'll break you in half with my bare hands bitch.
"Silly men," the succubus said. "So afraid of my fangs when it is my true mouth they should fear."
She thrust down with her hips, impaling herself on Carpenter's massive erection.
Carpenter's cock had just entered the tightest, hottest, juiciest pussy he'd ever felt in his life.
"Ah," the succubus moaned. "I told you this was more fun than fighting." She straddled him and began to pump her hips up and down.
Red mist boiled into Carpenter's brain.
So she wanted a fuck. He'd give her a fuck.
He stood up and rammed her body up against the nearest wall. She moaned in delight as her body jarred from the impact. Carpenter powered his big cock deeper into her hot cunt.
Yeah bitch. You want a fuck. This is a fuck.