As The Mouse Clicks

by michchick98

Tags: Ma/Fa, Humor,

Desc: Humor Story: Back in 2000, I had a roommate. We were both in a few online clubs through Yahoo! and every now and then after I got home from work, I'd get online and just post this really bizarre, off the wall stuff. I was bored and needed to calm down after a stressful day. Anyway, my roommate would usually read over my shoulder and throw in her thoughts here and there. On one particular night, I told her to help me come up with something completely out of the ordinary, and this story is the result.

When last we left them, Bolt and Paige were in the throws of passion when Bolt's ex-wife, Rainbow, (who as y'all remember was presumed dead when her hot air balloon sprung a leak over the Swiss Alps) appeared on his doorstep, announcing she had found her twin sister, Brite, who was stolen at birth, by the diabolical henchman, Jack.

Brite, who is married and living a quiet and somewhat normal life as a cheese taster, wanted nothing more than to have a child but was unable to conceive on her own. Rainbow volunteered to serve as a surrogate mother, that's why she was gone for such a long time.

After filling Bolt in about the last 18 months of her life, she noticed Paige in the bedroom and became enraged. Rainbow vowed to get revenge on him for his infidelities, reminding him that they were still married, since after all, she IS still alive.

Meanwhile, back at Grace Charity Hospital, Dr. Bouregard Hunter (Bo Hunter for short) was preparing to do emergency surgery on Lexus, an eight year old golden retriever mix (did we mention Grace Charity Hospital was a veterinary hospital?) who had swallowed a bomb. (GEEZ! Talk about indigestion!)

He evacuated the clinic except for Roberta, his assistant. They had retrieved the bomb, but were unsure if they should cut the red or the blue wire, and upon examining the bomb closer, they discovered that there was no red or blue wire, but rather, fuscia and chartreuse.

With 30 seconds left on the timer, Bolt bolted through the door (after all, Bolt does work on the Bomb Squad) to save the day. However, in the process of diffusing the bomb, Bolt slipped in a pile of poop, hitting his head against the operating table, rendering him unconscious. When he came to, he thought he was only nine years old and kept screaming for his mother, Sally, who died in a freak washing machine accident. (Dont ask!)

Dr. Bo Hunter grabbed the bomb, threw it out the window and it landed on Bolt's car, blowing it and everything around it to smithereens. Roberta sprang to the phone to call Paige. Paige, who was on her way to the spa, had heard of the situation at the clinic and rushed to be at Bolt's side. When she arrived she was heart broken to learn that Bolt thought that she was his mother, not his fiancée. After a few visits to the local psychiatrist, he seemed to be fine.

(we will return to the second half of "As The Mouse Clicks" after this message from our sponsor... )

And now a word (or several) from our sponsor:

Heard on the subway:

Woman 1: Does your hoochie ever stink?

Woman 2: HUH?

Woman 1: I mean, have you ever been sitting in the office wondering what that fucking smell is??

Woman 2: Well, actually, I haven't! (gets up and moves to a different seat)

Woman 1: (follows woman 2) No, I mean seriously, like you know, right before, you know ... that time ... kinda smell.

Woman 2: Fine, whatever! Yeah, sure, OK, my hoochie smells! What's your point?

Woman 1: Just wondered.

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Story tagged with:
Ma/Fa / Humor /