Chapter 1

I often sit around wondering what might have been. The choices we make in life: did I make the right ones? I know I've made a lot of mistakes and have done a lot of things that I'm not proud of, but I think back on my younger days and always wonder, "What if?" I know everyone probably looks back on the decisions they made. Some we're happy with, others we wish we could have 'Do Overs'. Unfortunately, life doesn't work that way.

I think back twenty plus years ago when I was in high school. I was this eager kid who wanted it all. I played sports and, even though I wasn't the best, I learned a lot from it. I dated the prettiest girl in our class who was named, "Most likely to succeed." I wanted to join the military. Both my grandfather and my dad were lifers (they put in thirty years in the military). That was my plan also.

My girlfriend was Julie Prouse. She was a cheerleader, homecoming queen, and hometown festival queen. Her ambition was to go to Hollywood. As I mentioned, she was labeled most likely to succeed and she did. She became a Hollywood starlet. She changed her name to Juliette Price. Apparently her agents thought it made her sound sexier.

We dated through all of high school. I really never had any other girlfriends. Why would I? I had Julie. Of course when we discussed our futures, it was apparent we were going in different directions. We never discussed it much; neither of us wanted to admit we no longer would be a couple.

We made love for the first time on prom night. Well, actually, it was pretty raw sex on the couch at a friend's house. It was the first time for both of us. We held off as long as we could. We did a lot of petting before that. I have to say the first time was awkward but awesome. Watching my cock push through the folds of her pussy and watching it slowly devour my cock; the first time was the best sight and feeling in the world.

From that day on, I knew I would miss her. Sure, we were just two young people experimenting, but I do believe we did love each other. It sure was a good time that I'll always remember.

I remember the night before I went off to boot camp. No one was home at my house and there was a light rain outside. It would be our last time together. I guess 'For The Good Times' was a song that I would always remember. It was playing on the radio as we made love for the last time.

Lay your head Upon my pillow. Hold your warm and tender body close to mine Hear the whisper of the raindrops, blowing soft, against the window And make believe you love me, one more time, for the good times.

As we lay on the bed making love, I had to wonder what our lives would be like in the future. It was just a moment in time but one that I would never forget. Looking back, I truly believe we were in love but life just took us in different directions.

I left the next morning for boot camp, and knew she would be going to college for a possible acting career. I missed her from the moment I left. I remember receiving a few letters the first few months, but then they seemed to stop. I knew it was the end between us.

I came home for a visit, but she was already gone. My mom told me she left a few weeks before for California. I went up to my room, and closed the door and cried. I might have been a soldier but I had to let it out of my system. I missed her so much. I sat on the bed and remembered a line of that song.

Don't say a word about tomorrow, or forever. There'll be time enough for sadness when you leave me.

It was just one of those things that you didn't realize what you had till you lost it. Julie would be forever in my heart. Nothing would ever make me completely forget about her. She would forever be in that little compartment stowed away in the corner of my heart.

Life went on and I served my country well. I spent most of my career in Germany and dated a lot of women. Sex was just something I did. I cared for the women I dated and the sex with them was great; I'd never deny that. I actually got married while overseas. When she found out I wasn't planning on coming back to the United States, very soon she was pissed.

I figured she cared for me but she wanted to live in the States. I told her I was going for a tour of duty in Saudi Arabia. We stayed married while I was there. I guess she didn't mind being married even though I was away.

When I came home, I found out she was pregnant. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out it wasn't mine. She asked me to forgive her.

I told her I understood how hard it must have been for her being there without me. I understood she wanted companionship and found it. As I told her there was no hard feelings and that I forgave her infidelity, I handed her the divorce papers and told her to go marry the child's father and give it a good home.

She yelled and screamed at me like I was at fault. She blamed me for not being there for her. I just shook my head and told her she had a week to get out of the housing development. I did tell her that her lover would do well not to come and see me. I had no forgiveness for him and would wipe the streets with him.

She did move out the following week. She had her relatives come and help her move; after all, she was five months pregnant. I was nice about our furnishings and told her to take what she wanted, especially the bed. I wasn't about to sleep in it.

I know this may sound funny, but I really didn't give a shit. I guess it was more about being cuckolded than anything else. I wasn't about to raise someone else's kid. I just went on with my life and dated other women. Hell, I even went out with my ex-wife's sister. I was stupid enough to get married again.

I did have a live-in girlfriend for a while. It made having sex so much easier and besides, I was going to do a tour of duty in Afghanistan and I would have someone to watch my belongings, what little I had. I told her if she could be faithful to me that I would marry her when I returned, and take her back to the states where I finished my career.

I didn't tell her exactly when I would be back from Afghanistan. I was going to keep my promise if she kept hers. To make a long story short, I beat the shit out of her lover and kicked both their asses out of my housing complex. There was so much commotion that the MP's showed up. I had them escort my ex-girlfriend and her lover off my property.

The following year, I headed back to the States alone. I was to live near the Air force base where I would be working. When I first enlisted, I asked for training in electronics. After I retired from the service, I wanted to make sure I had a good vocation. Thanks to my grandfather and Dad, I made the right choices. In less than a year I could reenlist for another ten years or retire and go out on my own. Either way I was prepared.

The base was only a couple of hours from my hometown. I was so happy to go home and see my parents, my brother and my sister. They threw a small party for me when I got home. I saw a few friends I hadn't seen in what seemed like a lifetime.

In case you're wondering, Julie wasn't there. I hadn't seen her since I left for boot camp some twenty years earlier. That isn't to say that I didn't know anything about her; I knew almost everything. You see, she became a movie star and all I had to do was pick up any gossip magazine or paper and I could read about her.

I was happy to read about her successes, but if her personal life was anything like what I was reading, I felt sorry for her. She was on her third marriage. Her first two husbands were also actors. The latest marriage was to some kind of big shot producer. She had one child by her second husband. Her daughter was eight years old. There were all kinds of stories on the marriages and divorces. I had no idea how much of it was true.

I know that she had bought her parents an estate outside of our little town. I guess she had been there to visit her family a few times. A few of the locals said they had seen her and, of course, she was still beautiful. I have to admit that I never saw any of her movies. I guess I didn't want to see her making love to another man even if it was fictional.

It was good to be home. Working at the base was just like having any non-military job. I worked so many hours a week and my free time I could do as I pleased. Almost every weekend I drove home to be with the family. Of course, they were always trying to fix me up with someone. I knew they had the best of intentions but my experience with marriage and live-in lovers wasn't the greatest. I would know if the right woman ever came around, I told them.

To be honest with you, I really wouldn't know and that scared me. I was tired of making mistakes and dating the wrong women. I just wasn't about to tell that to my parents.

I started seeing some of my old classmates that still lived around the area. Most were married or already divorced. A few were already married for the second time. I guess that shouldn't be a surprise in this day and age.

I got a call one day when I was home for the weekend and at my parents. We were going to have a twenty-year class reunion. I had been out of the country for all the others; we had one every five years. They were going to do it up big time. It was going to be held at the Hilton Hotel in their Embassy suite. They were reserving rooms for all the guests and wanted to know if I would be attending.

At first I didn't think I would go, but the more I thought about it, the more I thought of seeing all the old classmates and told them to reserve me a room. I laughed and told them I wanted a single room in case I got lucky. Rita, the classmate who took my reservation told me I was bad and then laughed. Too bad she was still married. I'd seen her since I'd been home and she was a good-looking woman.

She told me, "Jeff Wilson, what am I going to do with you?"

"Whatever you want," I laughed.

Joe, her husband was a friend of mine. Even though I liked Rita, I would never do that to Joe. Besides, Rita was kind of a flirt but I honestly believe she was faithful to Joe. They did make a nice couple and they had two kids.

"Oh, Jeff, I forgot to tell you. Julie Prouse, or should I say Juliette Price is going to be there too. Just thought I would tell you. So, I guess we'll have a few paparazzi around. She signed up as Julie hoping not too many cameras would follow her home."

"Doesn't she use any of her married names?" I asked.

"No, I guess she would have to change her papers too often. She's on her third husband already. I guess it's nice to be rich, but she's paying a hell of a price for it. Of course, she was picked 'The most likely to succeed.' I've talked to her when she came home a couple of times. I might not have the money she has, but I do believe I'm a whole lot happier with my life, Joe and the kids," said Rita.

I can't believe the night of the reunion was here already. Rita asked me to wear my uniform. I was proud of it and had no problem wearing it. When I walked into the ballroom, the whole class - everyone that was there already - stood and clapped for me. It felt great to know that my classmates were for our military. I remember my dad telling me when he came back from Vietnam that he was snubbed. It wasn't until just a few years ago that the Vietnam vets finally got the honor they deserved.

I walked along shaking everyone's hand. Some I remembered by their name tags, others I met for the first time. They were spouses and dates of my old classmates. I know a few had been in the military but none were lifers. I finally made it up to the bar and ordered a drink.

It was about a half hour later when Julie came through the door. My heart stopped for a second. She was as beautiful as ever. Of course, most everyone gathered around her seeing she was a big time celebrity. She was hugging everyone she knew. I looked to see who her husband was and didn't see anyone. Rita came by and I asked her about Julie's husband.

She told me that Julie's husband and daughter were flying in the next day. Julie came a day early so she could attend the reunion. There were a few cameramen that tried to come in, but the Hilton wouldn't let them in. They told Julie that she would have her privacy as long as she was in the hotel. They had no jurisdiction outside of the hotel.

Once the music started, I was sitting there and Julie approached me. I didn't see her coming; I was busy talking to another classmate. She put her hands over my eyes and said, "Guess who?"

I named off about a half dozen sex symbols that have passed away. Then I took one of her hands off my eyes and kissed it. "It tastes like Julie Prouse," I said.

I turned around and stood up and gave her a real hug. God, she felt so good. "Hi, Julie, glad you could make it to the reunion. Everyone was hoping you would be here; celebrity and all, you know."

"I come home every few years to see the family. When I heard about the reunion, I decided to attend. So how have you been all these years?" asked Julie.

"Put my time in overseas. I'm back in the states now and debating whether to retire or put in another ten years. I have a few months to decide. What about you? Anything besides what I read in the papers?" I smiled.

She wasn't talking like the Julie I remembered. I guess so many years in the limelight had changed her quite a bit. I ordered a drink for her and asked her about her family.

"My husband and daughter will be flying in tomorrow afternoon. I purchased mom and dad an estate out in the country so we stay with them when we're here. It has twenty-four hour guard protection."

"Didn't you have an older brother and younger sister? Where are they now?" I asked.

I don't think Julie liked me talking about her family. I think she expected me to kind of go ga-ga over her career as most of the other people were doing. I just wasn't made that way. Even though I traveled through foreign countries most of my life, I was still a small town kind of guy. She did answer me though.

"My brother Bill is in real estate. He owns his own agency. It fact, it's now a chain. He's doing very well. Becky, my little sister, is a veterinarian in town here. I'm surprised you haven't come across her. You know back when we were dating she had the hots for you. When I left for Hollywood, she told me I was crazy for not going with you. I guess we all have our own goals in life."

"I remember the pig-tailed gal with braces. If I remember correctly, she would bring every stray animal home and take care of it. I'm glad she found her niche in life."

Again, Julie was aggravated that she wasn't the center of our discussions. I could see she wanted me to talk about her and her career. So, I came out and told her.

"Julie, I'm happy that you got what you wanted out of life; I really am. I'm not a big Hollywood type person. In fact, I think most of the affluent stars live in some kind of fantasy world. They think only of themselves and think they're better than most anyone else. I loved you and will always have that place in my heart for you, but it's the old Julie Prouse that's there, not the movie star Juliette."

I guess she wasn't expecting that and took her drink and walked away blending in with all her fans. The reunion went on and the buffet was great. I mixed with most of my old friends. Throughout the night, I would watch Julie. I know she was playing her role as the gracious movie star. When the music started she danced a few dances with her old friends. I didn't dance much but Rita pulled me to my feet and I danced a slow number with her.

Later a few of the girls - I should say women - from our class asked me to dance and I did, out of courtesy. They were all very nice and I was glad I ended up dancing with them. As the evening was coming to an end, the band announced the final song was a request from Juliette Price. They told everyone to get their partner for the final slow song.

I saw a couple of guys ask Julie and she smiled gracefully and shook her head no as she approached me. The band began to play 'For The Good Times'.

"Will you dance with me?" asked Julie. "After all it was our song."

I took her out on the dance floor and held her close. She didn't say a word but put her head on my shoulder as we danced.

Lay your head upon my pillow. Hold your warm and tender body close to mine.

I held her in my arms remembering our song. When the song ended, Julie said she was throwing a party in her suite for a number of the classmates and asked me if I wanted to come up. I knew she had the presidential suite. I told her thanks for the offer but no thank you. I liked remembering the old Julie. I kissed her on the cheek, smiled and started saying goodnight to my friends.

I went to my room and took a nice hot shower and thought about the evening's events. I put on my briefs and got in bed and turned on the TV. I tried going to sleep but it wasn't happening. I heard a knock on the door and glanced at the clock. It was 1:00 a.m. I got up and looked through the peephole; it was Julie. I opened the door to ask her what she wanted and she kind of lightly pushed her way in.

I was in my briefs but it really didn't bother me. I asked her what she wanted.

"Jeff, can I stay here with you for a little while? I want to be the old Julie so bad, even if it's just for a couple of hours. Can we go back in time?" she asked.

"Don't you have a room full of guests upstairs?" I asked.

"They aren't going to miss me. Most of them are drunk or passed out. I just want to be the Julie you remembered; just for tonight."

I knew it was wrong and that she was married. I still had feelings for her and she seemed so serious. I took her in my arms and kissed her. For the next few hours, we went back twenty years and became lovers again. We were both experienced in love making now and it felt so good. She made so many noises that I felt she was really letting herself go.

It may have been wrong but it felt so right. I can't tell you how many times I came that night. We made love over and over again till I finally fell asleep with Julie on my arms.

The next morning I woke up and she was gone. I took another quick shower and dressed for breakfast. Some of the classmates agreed to meet in the main dining room and we would have breakfast together before going home.

When I went downstairs to the dining room, I saw a number of the classmates but Julie wasn't among them. I asked Rita and Joe about Julie, and Rita told me she had left early to go meet her husband and daughter. It was all that was said as I sat down and tried to enjoy my breakfast.

I had that crazy song going through my head while I ate. It sure fit the scenario of last night.

Don't look so sad. I know it's over, but life goes on and this old world will keep on turning. Let's just be glad we had some time to spend together.

As I drove back to my parents', I had to wonder if she really wanted to be with me or was she acting. There was no telling the difference anymore since she was an actress. I decided to write it up to one very good one-night-stand. The sex was very good. I think awesome is the word I'm looking for.

I had a talk with my dad and told him I thought I would retire with twenty years. I had a few more months to go and I would come back home and open up a small electronics business. He smiled and said he would look forward to seeing me more often. Mom came in the room and asked about the reunion. Of course, the first thing she wanted to know is if I talked with Juliette Price.

I laughed and told mom that I had talked to Julie and she said to say hello to her and dad. Of course, Julie never mentioned them but mom was a Hollywood rag paper reader and I wanted her to think that Julie remembered her.

Mom walked away happy as could be. Now she had something new to tell her friends, that Juliette Price asked about her.

I headed back up to the base the following day. The following week when I had to fly from the military airport to the municipal airport, I had some minor electronic repair to do at the terminal. Our small plane landed and as I walked into the terminal, there was a small commotion. I looked up and saw a few cameras flashing. Coming into the terminal was Julie and I guess it was her husband and daughter.

"They must be flying back to Hollywood," I figured. Julie barely glanced at me and looked just a bit startled but didn't say anything to me. Her husband gave me a look of disdain, I think I would call it. He looked to be a good fifteen years older than Julie was, maybe even more. I thought to myself, "a marriage made from money".

Her daughter looked like a sweet little girl. She looked a lot like Julie. She did give me a cute smile. I guess Hollywood hadn't gotten to her yet. Anyway, they went through the gates and headed to their plane.

I was walking through the terminal when I heard a voice. "Jeff, Jeff Wilson, is it really you?"

I turned and saw a good-looking woman. She looked familiar but I couldn't place her. She had on jeans and her hair was in a ponytail.

"It's me, Becky Prouse — well, Becky Taylor now; Julie's sister."

"Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. You look so different since the last time I saw you. How are you?"

"I'm fine. I just dropped Julie and her family off at the airport. They're flying home today. You just missed them. I thought I'd get a cup of coffee for the drive home."

"I didn't miss them," I said kind of looking away. "If you have a few minutes we can go to the restaurant and have a cup of coffee together."

"Sure, having a cup of coffee with you would be great," she answered with a big smile.

"I guess you got the 'Who are you?' cold shoulder routine that Julie seems to have. I guess her husband Henry is a really jealous man. Sam, her daughter, is a sweetheart though."

She told me that Julie had said she saw me at the reunion and that I said I didn't care much for her career choice. It was funny when Becky told me she didn't much care for it either. She asked me about my life and seemed truly interested in it. I gave her a short synopsis of my life and time overseas. I did tell her I was married once overseas but it didn't work out.

I explained that I was in the process of a career change, that I only had a few months left in the service and was probably going to retire and move back to the hometown to open up a small electronics business. She seemed genuinely happy for me. She even told me she would contact her brother Bill and see if he had any good locations for my business at a reasonable rate for rent.

I asked her about her life and she told me how she always wanted to be a vet. She had this dire need to help animals. I told her I remembered how she would always bring home strays and her mom would get mad at her. She laughed and of course, it made me laugh, just thinking about it.

She told me she was divorced also and had a son Jimmy who was eight years old. I told her I was sorry about her divorce and she told me they just weren't compatible. He wanted the big city life and she was a country girl.

Talking to her was so enjoyable. She seemed so happy and easy to talk with. It was funny that she asked about my parents. Apparently, mom took our dog Gruffy to Becky for his shots. We must have talked for a couple of hours not even realizing it.

She seemed so different from Julie. She was as beautiful but not the glamour sort of way. She was more of the woman who had all this natural beauty. They were both intelligent and knew what they wanted out of life. I found myself talking to Becky and doing all these comparisons. In almost all the cases, Becky won.

"What are you thinking about?" smiled Becky.

"You and something your sister told me last week," I replied.

"You're kidding? Julie actually talked about me instead of herself," laughed Becky.

"Well, I asked about you and she did tell me about you being a vet."

"You're not smiling about me being a vet. What else did she say?" smiled Becky.

"Okay, since you're asking. She told me that you had a crush on me when you were younger. I was just thinking about it while you were talking."

"Oh, God! She didn't? I'm so embarrassed," said Becky.

"I'm, sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned it. Hell, I don't even know if it was true. I apologize."

"It's my fault for asking," said Becky. "It was true, so you know. I always felt that Julie made a big mistake losing you. If I would have only been a few years older."

"Back then four years younger in age made a big difference. It doesn't today you know," I said to Becky.

"What are you getting at, Jeff? You know I'm not my sister and I'm nothing like her."

"I know. That's why I would like to know if you would like to go out with me next Saturday."

"Jeff, are you sure about this?"

"Very sure. All I need is a yes and an address where to pick you up," I said.

She smiled and took out one of her business cards and put her address and home phone number on the back and handed it to me.

"Okay, Jeff, we'll give it a try but no promises. Where would you like to go?"

"Out for something to eat and maybe a movie, but not one of your sister's. I'll tell you what, you pick the place."

I walked her out to her car and gave her a light peck on the cheek. She still looked at me questionably.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" she asked one more time.

"I'm positive. See you Saturday," I said.

I went into the airport to finish my assignment. I really felt good; probably better than I had felt in a long time.

Chapter 2

I went home on Friday night to see my parents. My mom asked me why I seemed so happy. I told her I had a date with a friend from my childhood.

"Do I know her?" asked my inquisitive mother.

"As a matter of fact you do. She's Gruffy's vet."

"You mean Becky? Isn't that Juliette's younger sister?" asked mom.

"As a matter of fact it is. I met her at the airport. We had coffee and talked for a while. She is really a sweet woman, Mom."

"Yes, she is. She's also pretty, smart and can sing like an angel," said Mom.

"What do you mean sing like an angel, Mom? Where have you heard her?"

"They have a karaoke night at the lounge every Saturday night. Your dad and I have been there and listened a few times. Most singers are pretty bad but one night Becky sang and it was beautiful. She won their karaoke contest three times and they told her that she could sing, but wasn't allowed to enter the contest anymore because if she entered, no one else would. They knew she would win."

"That isn't fair to Becky," I replied.

"Oh, she didn't mind. She's such a good-hearted person. They told her that her food and drinks would always be free during the contest. It's more of a fun thing than a real contest. Becky just laughed it off, but believe me, that girl can sing," replied Mom.

I felt pretty good after talking to mom. I may have been thirty-nine but when it came to women and commitment, I still wasn't too sure. "Mom, how did you know Dad was the right one? You two have been married forty-five years and still seem to be in love."

"That's because we are," smiled Mom.

"What's the secret? I mean when did you know he was the one."

Dad walked in smiling. "Oh, that was probably the first time we had sex," laughed Dad.

"Stop it, George. You should be ashamed of yourself." Mom slapped Dad lightly on the arm. "Jeff, when we first kissed there was a spark. I don't know how to explain it. It was something different, something special."

"She's right, Jeff. All kidding aside, we kissed and I knew she was the one. I felt the same sparks that she felt and we've been together ever since," smiled dad.

On Saturday, I went over to Becky's place for our date. She had a nice place in the country: a very nice looking ranch home and a barn. Her animal clinic was next door maybe fifty yards away. She later told me that it kept her close to home and at the same time was far enough away from the barking animals.

A young boy answered the door.

"Hi, there, I'm Jeff Wilson. Your mom's expecting me."

"Come on in; Mom's still getting ready. I'm Jimmy Taylor." He stuck out his hand to shake. I was somewhat surprised with his courteous nature. You don't see too much of that in an eight year old boy.

A lady came out of the kitchen. She was a lot older than when I last saw her. It was Mrs. Prouse, Becky's mother. "Jeffery, Jeffery Wilson, it's been so long since I last saw you. You're still as handsome as ever."

" ... and you're still as beautiful as I remember," I replied.