Going to school in Princeton was a privelege I enjoyed immensely, especially being a Phillies fan. I had grown up in Pennsylvania Dutch country in the southeastern part of the state and my parents were well enough off to pay the huge costs of Ivy League.
Two years after beginning my college life, my sister Naomi graduated high school and started attending nearby Ryder college, partly because my parents wanted her to feel safe - that her brother was only minutes away.
Naomi and I were "okay" with that, as long as neither of us got in each other's way. I was a jock and sexually quite active. Naomi was a nerd, almost to the point of social outcast. There was really no trouble for her to get into - or so I thought.
By Thanksgiving, I had still not even seen my little sister since my high school graduation because we had had conflicting schedules.
Anyway, my dad asked me (read that as: ordered me) to swing by and pick up Naomi at Ryder before completing the hour and a half drive home for the holiday.
When I got to Naomi's dorm, I spotted this roommate of hers whose wonderfully rounded ass caught my attention. She was on her hands and knees, looking for something that had fallen and rolled under a couch.
I asked where Naomi was (I thought she buzzed me into the building).
To my astonishment, Naomi got off her hands and knees and turned to greet me! My little sister, despite her dowdy high school days, had developed a real hot body in a very short time (although she still wore no make-up, nor did she do any hair styling).
My developing erection was dashed (fortunately) in the very few seconds it took for Naomi's friend Amy to appear, and Amy was about as unsexy as they come.
What made it worse was that Amy was there specifically to meet Naomi's brother, who she learned was going to pick his sister up.
I felt trapped, so I spoke without thinking, saying: "I'm not Chris. I'm Naomi's..." (I was stuck on what to say.)
Amy mistook my hesitation as the completion of the statement that I was Naomi's ... as in possession, or boyfriend. Since that worked for me, all I now needed was for my sister not to give it away.
Naomi saw the pleading in my eyes and, being as smart as she is, immediately picked up on my dilemma by playing along.
"I forgot to tell you, Amy," started my sister, "Chris called Matt here (my middle name) and asked him to pick me up for him."
I jumped in, "Yeah, his 'check engine' light came on and he took it (his car) into the shop right away with this trip coming up."
"So Naomi," interjected Amy, "If you haven't seen Chris for two years, how do you know Matt here?" (I HATE these smart as a whip nerds!)
Continuing to pile up lie upon lie, I answered quickly, "After Naomi and I met, I mentioned that I went to Princeton and she told me her brother also went there, so I should look him up - and I did. We became fast friends."
At this point, Naomi realized this could get out of hand, so she gathered her things and rushed our departure, preventing Amy from continuing her outre cross examination.
Once on the way, I thanked my sister for not letting on that I was her brother. I mentioned that I wanted no part of Amy or her twenty questions.
Naomi smiled and said simply, "She swallows!"
Now I smiled and said, "Thanks anyway. I do well by myself. But nevertheless, I owe you one."
Thanksgiving dinner went flawlessly, dad and I watching the Lions and Cowboys host their NFL games on TV, consecutively; the women did whatever they do.
By Sunday, we got ready to make the trip back to New Jersey and dad pulled me aside, saying, "Try to keep closer tabs on your sister, son. Her mother tells me that her roommate is a lesbian. That's the last thing she needs right now!"
I promised to comply. Since I knew Amy wasn't a lezbo, this would be easy.
On the trip back, I asked Naomi why she lied to mom about Amy.
Sis said, "If I told mom the truth - that Amy whores herself around just to get her jollies, they might pull me out of college."
"You could always change roommates," I countered.
"Amy is my friend, despite what what you saw," defended Naomi. "She even tries to set me up, all the time. But that interferes with my studies. I don't have the time or inclination to deal with shallow nerds who will rip my cherry and cum in ten seconds."
"Wow! That was certainly more than I needed to hear." I said, suddenly inferring that Naomi was still a virgin.
The rest of the trip passed with small talk and when I dropped Naomi off at her door, there was Amy again, this time wondering why it wasn't Chris dropping Naomi off.
"Dammit! That bitch doesn't know when to butt out." I silently screamed in my mind.
I couldn't hold it back any longer, so I put Amy in her place, saying, "Chris's car wasn't ready, so I lent mine to them for the weekend. And since Chris knows Naomi and I are an item, he drove back to OUR place, where he disembarked and let me take Naomi back here. Oh, and I won't forget to tell him about you. Any more questions?"
We might be lying, but it wasn't to obtain anything more than insulation from Amy's invasion of our privacy. SHE was being downright rude with her prying! I felt justified in my tirade.
Remembering not to call her sis, I asked Naomi if she wanted to go to any restaurants or movies while we still had time, consistent with something Naomi's boyfriend would have asked.
Naomi picked up on it and politely pulled the headache routine. She was tired and all that, but thanks.
I was just about to blow the whole charade by simply leaving when Naomi saved the day by putting her arms around my neck and planting a hot, wet kiss on my lips as I instinctively got into character and kissed back, feeling and probing until my sister had to pull away while scolding me.
THAT finally satisfied Amy's curiosity and I headed back to Princeton, but now I noticed I had a major boner going.
Wow! With my eyes closed, Naomi was as sexy a broad as anyone I'd dated down here. I hoped the guy that gets her cherry doesn't hurt her emotionally.
Not two weeks later, out of the blue I got this call from Naomi, calling in the "one" I casually said I owed her. (It was just an expression. I never really thought I owed Naomi anything, especially if it meant having to deal with Amy and her possible VD, or whatever the hell else she's caught.)
There was this party at Ryder. When Amy invited Naomi, she naturally expected her to bring her boyfriend Matt (me).
When Naomi told her she would be going alone, Amy began the twenty questions again, this time telling her (up front) that if she and I were no longer an item, then she wanted to screw my brains out!
Naomi tried to add another layer of obfuscation by stating that she didn't want to interfere with my studies for something so simple as a party, but Amy reminded her that it was Christmas break coming up and that she should leave it up to me. (Of all the unmitigated gall... !)
Fine. I agreed to take my sister to the party.
Needless ... well, almost needless to say, we were the handsomest couple there. Amy was part of a threesome, the other two being guys!
We low talked around some wine, marijuana, and (naturally) munchies until everyone was high enough to begin the sexual ritual.
Personal observation: When you aren't part of that scene, it's easy to see how inane some of these lines are, just to get some sex.
On the occasion of a bathroom break, coming out I ran into this one dude who begged for sloppy seconds on Naomi, since Amy announced she was going to nail me before that night was out.
Before I knew what hit me, I was strangling this bastard until three other guys tore me off him.
When I told them this scum bucket wanted to do my si ... uh, girlfriend, they let me go and expected me to drag Naomi out of there.
But Naomi was trying to fit in - she didn't want to leave. Our lies were backfiring on us.
When I whispered our dilemma to my sister, she jumped up and announced: "WE have the master bedroom next!"
Naomi was denifintely high, and now I was trapped in her fantasy. I played along.