Vickie met me at the front door in what she called her "slut suit" which was nothing more than a pair of "Come Fuck Me" pumps.
"What's the occasion?
"I've got great news honey. I'm finally pregnant — we are going to have a baby."
"Oh wow Vick, that is great news" I said and not meaning a word of it. In fact, her little announcement ruined my day.
I did not want children. I have never wanted children because, to me at least, children are more trouble than they are worth. Once they are on the scene everything in your life becomes subservient to them. Everything is suddenly qualified by, "What about the baby?" or "What will we do with the kids?" Children alter and even kill relationships. I've seen it happen countless times. I watched it happen with my own parents. My parents had four children who they loved dearly, but the energy expended to take care of and to meet the needs of those four kids left precious little to use to sustain their own personal relationship. By the time the four kids were grown up and gone my parents had no relationship, they just lived in the same house and co-existed until the arrival of the grandbabies gave them something to do. I can't even begin to count the number of my married friends who had children and then watched their lives stagnate.
A good part of the change, maybe even the major part, is financial in nature and it intrudes on almost everything. Want to take the wife out and give her a break? Sure you do, but can you find a sitter that you can afford? Even if you find a sitter the first half dozen times you use her end up being wasted nights. Your wife will agonize over whether the sitter is really reliable and she will be constantly going to the phone to 'check in' and see how things are going. Then by the time you are comfortable with the sitter she becomes unavailable because she has just 'discovered' boys or he will have just 'discovered' girls and you have to start all over.
That Ram Charger 4x4 you are drooling over? Forget it! It just isn't the sort of vehicle you need for a family with kids so let's just go over there and look at the Ford Windstar. The lesson was driven home almost any time I went anywhere with a guy who had kids. There was a boat show at the Convention Center only a couple of blocks from where I work. On day at lunch hour Tom, a guy I work with, and I went over to check things out. We were looking at a Bass Boat and Tom commented that he had always wanted one.
I looked at the MSRP and said, "So get one. It isn't all that expensive."
"Yeah, I know, but Jenny needs braces so I have to watch my pennies."
The litany was always the same: "I can't really afford a bigger house right now, but I need more room for the kids." "I would really like to have it, but I need to put money aside for little Billy's college fund." "I was going to, but my wife wants Nancy to have dance lessons and piano lessons so I guess I'll have to wait a little longer."
Next comes the time issue. The husband works longer hours to try and make more money while the wife is left at home to take care of the kids. She starts getting pissed that she is stuck in the house with screaming kids, spilled food, constantly wet diapers and he gets to avoid it all by running off to some quiet office every morning. She jumps him for not doing his 'fair share' and the relationship starts on its downward slide. To placate her he gives up stopping with his buddies for a beer after work, or he gives up his bowling night or his Saturday golf date. Or he doesn't which only makes it worse. Or maybe he goes the other way.
"I've got my night out so you should have yours. Go ahead, get out of the house, and spend some time with your girlfriends. Me and little Jimmy will be fine."
After a couple of months he thinks he sees something and he becomes suspicious. Is she really playing cards over at her cousins? Did she really go to a Tupperware party? He starts checking her out when she comes home, sniffing her panties when she tosses them in the dirty clothesbasket. Going through her purse looking for men's names and phone numbers. She isn't stupid and she picks up on it and soon the two of them are warily eyeing each other and the relationship begins to sour.
Okay, I know that these examples are all from the cynic's point of view, but there is enough truth in there that has made me never want kids. And now here was my wife telling me about our own prospective blessed event.
I met Vickie in college and fell for her like a ton of bricks which was unfortunate because she was engaged to someone else at the time. I watched her from afar and prayed every day for Roger to get run over by a truck, get struck by lightening or some other thing along those lines. Nothing that drastic happened, but one day they were no longer a couple. According to Vickie's friends they broke up because she caught him in bed with some one else. According to Roger's friends he dumped her when he got tired of her fucking other guys. I didn't know which side was right, but then I really didn't care. All that mattered to me was that Vickie was available for dating and I moved in to try and be first in line.
I asked her out, she accepted and over the next three months we went out on several dates. We hit it off, but Vickie wasn't interested in a steady relationship.
"I just got out of one of those and I'm in no hurry to do that again."
She did like sex though and we went to bed after our fourth date. I didn't give up on trying for a more permanent relationship, but Vick was always hesitant and then suddenly it all changed.
"I think we should move in together and see how we fit" she said. It seemed to me that we fit very well and after nine months I asked her to marry me.
"That's a pretty big step to take honey. I know things are working out well for us right now, but we have never even discussed the future."
"What is there to talk about? I'm crazy about you and I want you in my life forever."
"Well for one thing honey, we have never talked about a family. I want babies, lots of babies. My ideal would be two girls and two boys, but it doesn't matter. What does matter is that I want kids, but I've never heard you say a word on the subject."
Okay, I know it was wrong, but even though I didn't want kids I did want Vickie — I wanted her bad enough to lie to her.
"I never mentioned it because I thought marriage with kids was a foregone conclusion. I never really gave any thought to how many and what flavor. My only concern would be having them too quickly after getting married. I always thought it was better to get your feet on the ground financially before starting a family."
We talked about marriage for another two weeks or so and then Vickie finally said yes to my proposal. We married three months after graduation, got jobs and started saving money for a house. Vickie wanted to go straight into a four bedroom so the family could grow into it. I wanted a small two bedroom because I knew that we were not going to have kids so I convinced Vickie to start small, build equity and then move up as we needed to.
Vickie realized the need for financial stability before having kids so she was on the pill and as added insurance I always wore a condom when we made love. At the end of three years Vickie told me she was going off the pill.
"It is time for me to start having my babies. I don't want you using condoms any more either."
"Are you sure that you are ready for such a big step?"
"Oh I'm ready honey, more than ready. I want my babies while I'm still young enough to enjoy them. I don't want to show up at the youngest one's high school graduation looking like the grandmother."
Two years later Vickie was still childless and bemoaning the fact that she couldn't get pregnant. She went in for tests and was told that there was nothing wrong with her. She started bugging me to go in and get myself tested so I told her that I had and had been told that I was fine. She started doing things that might help her conceive. She even went so far as to stand on her head as I plunged down into her on the theory that my sperm would fall faster toward her womb because of gravity. But it didn't matter what Vickie did she still couldn't get pregnant which really wasn't at all surprising to me. I did not want kids and I took steps to make sure that I never had kids. Two months before our wedding I had a vasectomy and now here was Vickie telling me that we were going to have a baby. As I looked at her with the fake 'happy' smile on my face I had to face up to the possibilities — either it was the long awaited Second Coming or my wife was a cheating whore.
Being an agnostic I had never bought into the virgin birth tale so that, in my mind anyway, narrowed the possibilities down to just one and that was that Vickie had been, or was being unfaithful. After dropping her little bomb on me Vickie grabbed my hand and started trying to pull me to the bedroom.
"Come on honey, we need to celebrate. I need to start fucking your brains out every chance I get so you won't feel so deprived when I get so far along that we can't make love anymore."
It wasn't going to happen.
It was as if the knowledge that Vickie was cheating on me had tripped a switch somewhere in the back of my head and all of a sudden my dick would not get hard. Vickie sucked, she stroked, she teased, but nothing she did would get my cock hard. She tried several times that night but to no avail. I passed it off as something stress related from work.
"I don't know sweetie, but what with the economy being in the toilet and talk about cutbacks and layoffs running through the company I'm just totally stressed out."
The fact that I couldn't get it up with her didn't really bother me because I didn't want anything to do with her cheating ass anyway.
Three months went by and Vickie was showing. There was a time when I thought that pregnant women were the sexiest thing around and the sight of a pregnant women would have lit a raging bonfire in me, but the sight of Vickie did not affect me that way. Just the opposite. The sight of my unfaithful pregnant wife turned my stomach. I was one confused puppy. I loved Vickie and I hated her at the same time and I suppose that is why I was still with her and hadn't pulled the plug. We had not had sex since the day of the big announcement even though she had tried everything she could think of for about six weeks before she gave up. I still got plenty of hard ons, but just not at home. I also had plenty of opportunities to get laid, but I wouldn't cheat on my wife even though she had obviously been cheating on me. I knew that I would eventually call her out on the kid, but I just wasn't ready right then. I don't know if I was waiting on a sign of some sort or what, but I did know that I wasn't going to raise some one else's kid and that I would confront Vickie before the kid came.
I might have waited the whole nine months had I not got pissed off. My boss came up to me shortly after lunch one day and told me that he needed a big favor.
"I need some one to hand carry some documents over to Lee Holtzman, wait while they are being signed and then hurry up and get them back here to me."
"No problem boss. At this time of day there shouldn't be much traffic and I should be able to get over there and back in a couple of hours."
I took the documents and headed out. Going cross-town to Holtzman Plaza took me right past our neighborhood. I had no real reason to stop at our house, but something seemed to be pulling me toward it. When I got on our street I saw a strange car in our drive and I immediately wondered if it was Vickie's lover or a girlfriend and I decided to find out. I pulled up and parked in front of the house and went inside. I heard the shower running upstairs and I headed on up. The bed looked like a cyclone had hit it. The sheets had wet spots on them just about where Vickie's ass would have been if she were getting screwed. I saw a small pile of men's clothes on the floor and peering around the corner into the bathroom I saw a man in the shower with Vickie. I walked over to the pile of clothes and got the man's wallet out of his pants and opened it. The name on the driver's license was Roger Grove — Vickie's fiancée from college!
I debated going into the bathroom, pulling both of them out of the shower, beating the snot out of him and then throwing both of them naked out into the front yard. I had actually turned and had taken a couple of steps toward the shower when a voice in my head told me not to be hasty. Violence would only cause more problems. What I needed to do was get more information and then use it to my best advantage. I put Roger's wallet back in his pants and dropped them to the floor and then I quietly left the house. That night after work I stopped at Electronics Universe and bought three voice activated tape recorders and a carton of tapes and then I headed on home.
I hid one of the recorders in the living room, one in the bedroom and then I went down in the basement and hooked the third one up to our telephone line. I had considered hidden video cameras, but decided that they were too expensive and I didn't really need them anyway. When I got ready to toss Vickie out on her ass the DNA test on the baby was all I was going to need. All I was looking for with the tape recorders was why? What had I done to make her cheat on me? For that matter, did I even do anything? And I really, really wanted to know how long it had been going on.
For the first two days there was nothing on the tapes except TV sound, the vacuum cleaner running and the noises made as a housewife went about taking care of her home. The recorder on the phone line captured conversations between Vickie and her mother and Vickie and her sister. On the third day I got what I was looking for. One of the calls on the telephone line recorder was from Roger.
Roger: Hey lover, we still on for one?
Vickie: I'll be waiting in my slut suit when you get here.
Roger: Nothing like an eager lover.
Vickie: Is being eager and being horny the same thing?
Roger: It is in your case babe. See you at one.
Vickie: I'll be waiting.
The living room tape had nothing but garbled noises since it was to far from the front door to pick up anything clearly, but I did hear the door close and footsteps pounding up the stairs. The bedroom tape started as soon as they came into the room.
"Hurry baby, I haven't had your cock for three days and I'm horny as hell and I need it."
"If you want I won't waste time taking off my pants."
"Oh no lover, the last time we did that my pussy hairs got caught in your zipper and it hurt like hell. Hurry up and get naked baby, I want that hard cock of yours."
There was the sound of clothes hitting the floor and then I heard Vickie say, "Ooh baby, he looks like he's happy to see me. Bring him here baby, come to momma."
"Where do you want it?"
"In my pussy baby, fuck me first and then I'll suck it hard later."
The sounds of movement on the bed was followed by, "Oh yes, that's it baby, push it in, push it in deep, push it in hard lover, push hard."
For the next five minutes I listened to the sounds of them fucking, heard both of them announce that they were coming and then I heard Vickie say, "Thanks lover, I really needed that. Now let me suck on that beauty and get you up again."
I listened to two more fuck sessions and then I heard, "Have you given any more thought to where you and I will be if your dipshit husband ever decides to do his duty again?"
"Don't call him a dipshit Roger. And I've already told you where we will be if he starts making love to me again — nowhere! I told you that coming in."
"No, what you told me was that you needed someone to help you get pregnant. I assumed that since you asked me to do the job that you had feelings for me and that we might get something going."
"In the first place Roger, I picked you because you and Jerry have the same hair and eye color and are reasonably close to being the same size. Secondly I'd say that given what we have been doing for the last hour that we do have something going."
"You know what I mean Vickie."
"Yes Roger, I know what you mean, but I told you up front that all I wanted was for you to get me pregnant, nothing more."
"Then why am I here now? You are as pregnant as I can get you until you have the baby and then get cleared by the doctor to have sex again."
"You are here because I need sex and Jerry hasn't made love to me since I told him I was pregnant."
"I don't know. Maybe he's afraid he'll hurt the baby."
"His cock is that long? He's afraid that he'll poke the baby's eye out or something?"
"Roger, do you enjoy fucking me?"
"You know I do baby."
"Well if you want to keep on fucking me you had better stop taking cheap shots at Jerry."
"I'm sorry Vickie. It is just that it pisses me off that you left me for him. That baby in you should have my name when it is born."
"I didn't leave you for Jerry; I left you because I caught you fucking Sally Colby."
"Oh come on Vickie. I only fucked her to get even with you for fucking Tom Post, Bill States and George Bounce."
"Did you see me fucking them Roger?"
"No buts Roger. You heard a rumor and you believed it. You have no idea if it really happened or not. I on the other hand saw you fucking Sally so I know for sure that it happened."
"You know what I'm saying Vickie. I just feel like I'm being used."
"Of course you are being used Roger, and you can look forward to being used for years to come. I plan on having a lot of kids and I want them all to have the same father and you are the man I picked to do the job. As an added benefit you get to fuck me as long as Jerry doesn't, but you do it with the clear understanding that I love my husband and if he ever starts making love to me again I stop having sex with you. At least until it is time to make the next baby."
I shut off the tape and ejected it from the recorder. I knew what I wanted to know and now all I had to do was figure out what to do next.
It doesn't matter what kind of story I write there is always feedback, both good and bad. For this type of story the feedback is predictable. Half of it will be similar to, "You loser! Another wimpy husband story, you make me sick" or "Not all women are the whores that you make them out to be. You should be ashamed. Your mother was a woman." Of the remaining fifty percent there will be twenty percent telling me what I should have written, i.e., "And then he should have fucked her in the ass and then laughed at the cum running down her leg saying there goes a kid you'll never have and then he grabs her head and fucks her face with his shit covered dick and then..." There will be another twenty percent that will be evenly split between those who liked the story and who will want a sequel and those who thought the story would have had a little more merit if I had only (fill in the blank). There will be at least three telling me that my comma usage and semi colon use is wrong and at the very least there will be one taking me to task for mixing up my tenses. To those grammarians I can only say that an eighth grade education will only take me so far. To the rest I say I write for my own enjoyment and then I offer to share. Like it or not, know that I have satisfied my target audience — me!
However, in a probably misguided effort to please as many readers as possible, I have provided several alternate endings for this story. Hopefully, you will find one that satisfies you. And now, back to the story.
I tossed the tape into my briefcase and sat down to plan my revenge against the faithless bitch and her asshole of a lover. It took me two weeks to work out their schedule. It seemed that Roger could only get away on Mondays and Thursdays so I decided to make my move on the following Thursday. I was waiting down the street when Roger pulled up in my drive. I saw him get out of his car and go into my house and you wouldn't believe how much that pissed me off. He didn't ring the bell or knock on the door; he just walked right in as if he belonged there. I sat in my car and gave the cheaters long enough to get naked and on the bed and then I got out of the car and headed for the house. I stopped in the drive long enough to use an ice pick on all four of Roger's tires, and then I opened the door and set the automatic door locks and then I went into the house and headed up the stairs.
They were so busy at cuckolding me that neither one of them even knew that I was in the room until I loomed over them. I saw the horror on Vickie's face as she looked up in time to see my right forearm close on Roger's throat in a chokehold and my left grab a handful of his hair. I jerked him up off of Vickie and with the chokehold and pulled hair keeping him off balance I frog marched him down the stairs and to the front door. I pushed his naked body out the door and then locked it behind him. I went to the phone and called the police and reported a naked peeping tom, gave my name and address and then called the local TV station with the same tale. Then I went upstairs to deal with Vickie.
She was cowering on the bed with the covers pulled up to hide her nakedness and she was crying.
"Get off the bed Vickie. Either do it on your own or I'll grab a handful of your hair and haul you off the bed like I did Roger."
"Jerry please, I can explain" she cried as I pulled the covers off her and reached for her hair. She scrambled off the bed and reached for a robe.
"Leave it Vickie. I want you to stay just as you are. Now get your whoring ass down the stairs."
"Please Jerry, let me explain."
"Move it Vickie" I said as I reached for her hair again.
She scurried down the stairs and I told her to go over to the front door, "I want to show you something Vickie."
"Please honey, if you would just let me explain."
"Later Vickie. Right now I have something I want you to see."
I opened the door so she could see a naked Roger trying to get in his car.
"What is it I'm supposed to see?"