So, there we sat turned towards the other, the story-teller and the listener, that we had become — probably to some surprise for both of us. My whiskey was ended, but I wasn't interested in any more, I wanted to keep my head clear from now on.
"Well, is there any particular story you would like me to tell?", Patrick said after a moment of silence. "Any special piece of clothing you're interested in hearing whom they belonged to and how they got into my closet?" His quirky smile was ever-present on his lips now, and I was getting really irritated over it. I could tell he really enjoyed telling me about this very special hobby of his; this was probably his first chance to do it, something he had been forced to - no pun intended — 'keep in the closet'. But still, I played along in this game of his. I couldn't help being interested in hearing some more. 'Just one more', I told myself.
I went through those dresses I had seen in his wardrobe looking for my wife's black piece of clothing. There weren't many that had caught my interest except for one, and I didn't want to go in these once again, so I picked that one: the police uniform. "Okay, tell me how you got over that uniform. Which masquerade-outfitter did you steal it from?"
His face turned to show some fake kind of offense, and his voice had some strange Shakespearian tone in it when he answered "Do you take me for a liar? I insist, those clothes have all belonged to others, and all my stories are quite true!" After a brief pause, he continued, "But I take you want to hear of how I robbed a police officer of all her clothing? Well, let me, then." With that, he began his story.
"This event began one day last summer when I was driving in the countryside. I had a day off and just wanted to get out of the city, so I borrowed an old ford from a friend of mine and went out for a ride. It was really hot outside, so I packed a few beers and my bathing trunks hoping to get to a beach to too far away.
I drove away, and once I got out of the city's traffic jam I felt the freedom of going high-speed by car. There was a lot of traffic on the highway, probably a lot more like me that wanted to get out. I soon decided that using smaller roads would make things much better for me, so I drove off at the next interception. I had no particular place to go to, just wanted to get away and eventually find a 'beach'-sign.
The speed freak in me hadn't left when I left the highway, though, so I continued driving way too fast. Luckily, there was much less traffic on these smaller roads. Unluckily, the only car I apparently passed was a police car.
So, after a few miles driving, I saw the blinking light in my rear mirror, and cursed out loud. The first reaction was to drive even faster, but fortunately, I thought better of it. Instead, I slowed my car down and let the other pass me. It did, and I caught glimpse of the driver, a young blond woman! I started liking the situation much better after that.
After a short distance, the car in front of me blinked, and I got the message: I was to follow it. It turned into a small side-road, and after only a few hundred meters on that, the car stopped on a parking lot surrounded by bushes. I stopped my car right behind the police car.
It was a desolate area, the only sign of activity I could see was other tire marks on the ground showing cars that had parked here ad then turned back to the main road. Where the road went ahead, nobody seemed to care.
I turned off my engine and waited politely for the police to come to me. I tell you, I was in a really bad mood right then, cursing all the time for my stupidity and bad luck. But I knew I had to face whatever came from the other car.
So, when the police officer stepping up to my door turned out to be a young woman, I just stared. This was the least I had expected! And she was rather good looking, too: nice, well trained figure, rye-colored hair cut short. She lifted her pilot Ray-Bans up on top of her head, bent down to my level outside of the car and said 'Hey, mr. Speedo'
I was still a bit dumbstruck, but did what I could to collect my wits. I rolled down the window and said 'Hi, miss. You say I was speeding?' My patented silly smile only added to the stupidity.
'You might say that, yes. If you count driving more than 30 above limit, at least. I bet you were thinking there weren't any officers out on these roads?
I could only let out a slow whistle in response. Not the brightest answer, I know, But I still hadn't collected all of my wits.
'Normally, I'd take your license right now and here, and give you ticket so fat you'd be living on scraps for the rest of the month', she continued. 'Give me one good reason not to!'
She had a sly smile in her face when she said those last words, she seemed to be enjoying this! I needed to gather myself to get out of this situation, and fast. If I only could stall her just a little. 'Well... ' I begun, 'Because I'm such a nice guy... ?'
'Oh, come on!', she laughed back at me. 'I expected better from you. At least you could try something like: you have to get home to your sick wife, or that you have to watch the end of today's match or something!'
This girl was in a playful mode, I could tell. Either she just wanted to tease me before finishing me off, or she really didn't want to punish me as hard as she ought to according to law; it was hard to tell. Either way, playing games was my territory, and now I saw my chance. 'I couldn't tell you that; I'm such an honest guy!' I began.
'Oh, crap! I see through you: you're the kind that tells just anything at the pub to get a woman's attention! Don't give me that honesty stuff!' She was still smiling, saying that, though.
'You got me there' I smiled sheepishly back at her. 'You seem to read people well. But I'm good at that as well. I'd say you're single right now, after you left your, who you met at police school'. It was a real guess, but a fair one.
Apparently, it hit the mark; she seemed taken back a bit. 'How could you tell?' she finally said.
'That's my little secret' I retorted with a sly smile.'I could tell more about you, but I'd like to raise the bets a bit, first. What if we play a guessing game? First one to get three correct guesses about the other person wins. If you win, you'll fine me for whatever you want, but if I win, I get to ask a favor of you first!' It wasn't very good stakes from her point of view, I knew, but there wasn't much else I could give her. She wasn't the kind to bribe, I could tell.
Her answer was expected: 'Well, I don't know ... Why should I let you do that, when I could take my winning right here?'
'Because I can tell you're the competitive type'. She seemed tempted, so I added 'I won't ask anything difficult or illegal or so, just a small boon. And I told you I'm honest!'
'All right, then, but i get to start. Get out of the car, so I can measure you properly'
I did as she said and stood right in front of her with my car behind me.
'You're single as well', she began.
'Yup. Right on that one; 1 — 0, then.' Not very hard to guess. 'This is your first year after graduation', I asked. Why else would she be trafficking these small roads?
'Hmm, you're right about that one; 1 — 1. You're currently unemployed'
I had to admit I was. 'Yeah, you're right there as well. 2 — 1, and my turn'. I had to sharpen up; she was only one from winning! 'You live by yourself in a small flat'
'Wrong! I've moved in with some friends for the moment. Still 2 — 1, and my turn. You don't have any higher degree from school'
Damn! I had to shape up; but at least she was wrong on this one, and I was still in the game. 'No, actually I have a bachelor in philosophy. No point for you, there.' Now, I had to focus; I scanned her, and noticed scratch marks on her hand. 'You have a cat', I said.
'Affirmative', she smiled back, she liked the game being even. 'Two even, then. My shot: this is your own car'
She was wrong again! I had a shot at winning! I showed her my most sympathetic smile and told her. 'Honestly, no. I've borrowed it from a friend. You can check it up later, if you like.'
'No, I believe you, and I tell you I'm honest as well. Your turn', she sighed.
I took a brief look at her, and found one more detail worth a shot: her sun tan didn't reach below her collar. 'You used to have long hair, but cut it just recently'
I could tell by her reaction that I had won. She sunk back just a tiny bit before letting out a small 'Yeah, you're right. You've won!'
'YES!' I remember crying, and then stretched my arms into the sky. 'You need to practice your detective skills, miss' I gleefully added.
She only muttered something incomprehensive in return. 'What's your favor, then, before I take you in?' she added more clearly.
I silenced in return and pretended to think, even though I already knew my request. I put my hand on my chin and waited a moment before answering. 'You see, I've always wanted to be a detective... ' I began. I knew this would get her attention; and it did, I could tell from her face. 'And one thing I've always liked from all those cop movies is where you get to do a body search for criminal stuff on somebody. You know, standing against the car, and all that. So, if I could do that on you, just once, I'd be happy as a clown'
She really seemed surprised by my request, and didn't answer at first. I guess she hadn't expected such a silly request, and was a bit relieved. 'You want to search me?' she finally asked back. 'That's all?'
'Yes', I simply stated.
.... There is more of this story ...