I sat, a bit anxiously, in the waiting room, flipping through a dated copy of Newsweek.
My wife Gwen and I had been trying to conceive for several months, and it was my turn to undergo tests to rule out any possibilities and determine the best course of treatment. The tests were simple, as I understood it. I was going to have some blood withdrawn, and I was going to give a sperm sample. Gwen had had to endure worse.
I looked up. A woman was standing in the doorway that led to the exam rooms. I nodded affirmatively.
"Mr. Black, please come with me."
She held the door for me as I stepped inside. "Mr. Black, how are you today? Welcome to the Reproductive Science Institute. My name is Dana, and I'm your Coordinator for this visit." She offered her hand and I took it gently.
"Pleased to meet you," I replied.
"If you'll just follow me this way, we'll get started." I watched her walk away. She was a petite woman, in perhaps her mid-twenties. She was wearing loose fitting maroon scrubs and the sensible white shoes that nurses tend to wear, but I could tell that she had a good figure. "This is your first visit to a clinic like ours, isn't it?" she asked.
"Yes," I responded.
"Well, you don't have anything to worry about. Our methods are very good, and we are highly successful at helping couples like you and wife. However, our techniques are somewhat different that what you may have seen on television or in the movies," she explained as she led me down the corridor. Doors on either side were marked in a seemingly random fashion with alphanumerals - E1, U2, B1, U3, M5 - but I didn't ask about them. I knew what she was talking about though. I had imagined being led to small room with a cup in one hand and a couple of porn magazines in the other; I suppose that wasn't what they did here.
"Really?" I asked.
"Oh, yes," She turned to look at me, and smiled. "The procedure will be explained to you shortly. But first, let's get your height and weight." We were standing in front of a scale. I slipped off my shoes, stepped up, and she quickly adjusted the machine and wrote the measurements onto her clipboard with a ballpoint pen. "Great," she said. "And you're 30, right?" I nodded.
"OK, first we'll draw some blood. Grab your shoes and let's step in here." She indicated a door marked B3. Inside was a normal chair next to a small table. I followed her instructions as I sat down and rolled up my right sleeve. She tapped the inside of my elbow with her fingers, rubbed on some disinfectant, and readied the needle with her other hand. "Just a pinch," she warned, and pushed the needle in. We filled a few vials, to which she applied peel-off labels.
"That was fast," I commented.
"Practice, practice, practice," she told me, smiling. She placed a bandage over the gauze on my arm. "Let's keep moving. E2 is supposed to be open now. I told Padma to meet us there." I got up, grabbed my shoes again, and followed her out the door, her short blonde hair bobbing up and down as she walked quickly down the hall.
"I'm training Padma as an Extraction Technician this week," she explained, looking back at me as we walked. "She just joined us. Of course, she is a fully qualified nurse, but hasn't worked in this area before, so I'm showing her the ropes. You don't mind, do you?"
"Extraction?" I asked. That word definitely got my attention.
She noticed my concern. "It's probably not what you think, and it's nothing to worry about. There aren't any more needles involved, I guarantee it!" she laughed.
"Okay," I said.
"Here, please." She gestured toward the room I was to enter. The door was already open.
I stepped inside to see a rather tall, pretty, young Indian woman waiting inside. She was slender with smooth, brown skin and dark brown eyes. She was organizing some specimen bottles and tubes on the counter, and, like Dana, she was wearing loose maroon scrubs. She smiled, and I smiled back.
"Mr. Black, this is Padma," Dana introduced us. Padma offered her hand and I, of course, took it. She had medium length, glossy black hair, pulled neatly away from her face and shoulders with clips.
"Pleased to meet you," I said.
"The same," she replied. "I trust you are doing well today?" she asked. She had a charming Indian accent. I nodded, and the two women exchanged smiles. "I suppose that Dana explained that I'll be your Extraction Technician today."
"And I'll be Assisting," chimed in Dana.
"Yes," continued Padma. "Dana is Assisting. As she probably told you, I have been in training this week. I'm quite excited, as this will be my first solo Extraction. Of course, Dana will be guiding me, so there is nothing to worry about." She looked at Dana. "Shall I explain the procedure?"
"Sure," Dana replied. I nodded, too, very anxious to hear what was planned for me. "But why doesn't Mr. Black get changed while you explain?"
"Of course," answered Padma. Dana opened a drawer and pulled out a paper gown, which she handed to me. Padma continued, "You may change behind the screen. Please remove all your clothes, underwear, and socks. And your watch, too, if you don't mind. Then put on the gown, opening in front, please."
I looked around the room. In the corner was the screen she referred to, and in the middle of the room was what I took to be a normal massage table. There was a large bar chart on the wall behind Padma, but I couldn't read it with her in the way.
"Um, okay," I replied, stepping over behind the screen. There was a hanger for my shirt and pants, and a stool allowed me to sit while I removed my socks. I pulled the gown around me. There were ties near the throat and at the middle of my chest, but the bottom was open, which was not unexpected. Once the gown was on, I slipped off my boxers, folded them neatly, and placed them on the stool. It suddenly seemed much cooler in the room. While I was undressing, Padma explained the procedure.
"We do not use the typical method of taking a semen sample here, Mr. Black. Our methods are much more effective, and give us more information in diagnosing the fertility problems of you and your wife. As well, they provide our physicians with a generous amount of data to use in their studies of human reproduction. But, you needn't worry," she said. "The procedure we will use today is not invasive or uncomfortable in the slightest."
I stepped out from behind the screen, holding the front of the gown closed for modesty.
"Mr. Black, if you will examine the chart on the wall," she said as she turned and pointed. Padma seemed to be reciting from memory. "Here at RSI, our studies have shown that the quality and quantity of human male ejaculate changes situationally, confirming animal models of the same phenomenon. If you'll look at the chart, you can see that, normally, sperm motility and ejaculate volume are lowest for auto-stimulation releases, and both are greatest for sexual intercourse with a novel partner.
"Looking closer, you will see that, using the techniques we have developed here, the values for sexual intercourse with a long term partner are very nearly matched by the values for manual stimulation by a novel partner, while an even closer match is made by the values for oral stimulation by a novel partner. This interesting finding allows us to replicate, in the medical environment, a condition for ejaculation that most closely matches the conditions present during sexual congress with intent to impregnate."
I understood clearly what she was going to explain next, and was somewhat shocked.
"Do not be alarmed, however, Mr. Black. We have a strict protocol for ejaculate Extractions, among which is the requirement of a monitor to insure absolute professionalism. That role will be filled by Dana, who will also assist me in the Extration procedure." Dana smiled at me reassuringly.
"Our studies have shown that, while oral stimulation of the penis provides a more accurate match to the nominal ejaculatory conditions, it is difficult to reliably collect the ejaculate without sample contamination. Instead, our standard Extraction procedure involves manual stimulation of the penis to ejaculation, and sterile collection of the ejaculate. We will also be taking some measurements for data acquisition to aid our doctors in their further study. Your data will be treated with the strictest confidentiality, and no public usage will be personally recognizable. This was indicated in the forms you signed when you arrived."
"Yes, I remember."
"Do you wish to withdraw from treatment?" Padma asked, smiling.
Dana cut in, "We are required to ask."
"No, I guess not." I replied. "So, what do I do?"
"Very good, Mr. Black," Padma said. "If you will, climb onto the Extraction table and face downward, with your gown open. Place your penis and scrotum in this hollow," she indicated with a hand wave, "and Dana will adjust the head rest so that your are comfortable."
The table was covered in a white sheet with strategically placed openings. I climbed up, adjusted my cock and balls so they were in the hollow and rested on my elbows. Dana pulled the head rest out a bit, and motioned for me to lay forward. Like the massage table I had imagined it to be, my forehead rested on a soft cushion, and I looked through to the floor below.
"Is that all right, Mr. Black?" Dana asked.
"Yes," I answered.
"Mr. Black, again, do not be alarmed," Padma said, "but we find that it is necessary to strap our patients to the table. This is primarily for your safety, as we will be raising the Extraction table and we do not want you to fall."
Dana interrupted, "First, Mr. Black, will you pull the gown out from under your body? We need it to be open."
I complied, and Padma started again. "Strapping the patient also prevents unwanted movement that could spoil the sterility of the ejaculate. May we continue?"
"Yes." Not so oddly, I felt my cock starting to fill slowly with blood.
"Place your hands by your head, Mr. Black," said Dana, and as I did so, she wrapped my wrists in cuffs that, closed with Velcro, held them tightly to the table.
"I will also strap your chest, waist and thighs, Mr. Black," Padma told me, as she quickly maneuvered the straps into place. The ones around my thighs held me less then half a foot from my groin. Padma's hands were working under the paper gown I wore, and the feel of her warm fingers on my cold flesh cause my cock to harden further.
Meanwhile, Dana had moved to the foot of the table, and started cuffing my ankles in place. "This is just a precaution, Mr. Black," she told me. "We can't have you kicking around. Some men have trouble controlling their movements when they ejaculate, as you understand."
"Mr. Black, I will now raise the Extraction Table so we can begin the procedure." I couldn't see what she did, but the table went up until I was a little more than three feet off the ground.
Dana squatted down in front of me, and looked up into my face. "Would you like to watch the procedure, Mr. Black? Many of our patients are more comfortable that way."
I would definitely like to watch, I thought. "Please," I replied, and she wheeled a mirror out from under the cabinets. After a quick adjustment, I could see down the length of the underside of the table. Padma's loosely covered legs and white shoes were visible as well. She was sitting on a swivel chair about half-way down the table.
"Is everything all right, Mr. Black?" she asked.
"Very good. First, a few more questions. Did you, as instructed, ejaculate between 48 and 72 hours before your appointment today?"
"And how did you achieve release?" Padma asked.
Huh? Oh! "My wife and I had vaginal intercourse."
"Excellent! Have you ejaculated since then?"
"Also excellent. Another question: do you have problems with erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation? We can accommodate you if this is so."
"No, I don't have either problem," I answered.
"Very good. Then we'll begin."
Padma's hand reached under the table, and flipped a latch I hadn't noticed before. A panel slid open, and she pulled it away. Hanging down from the table was my stiffening cock and my heavy balls. It was an unusual perspective, and I felt a bit out of my body. Was that really my dick? I heard the snap of latex gloves, and Padma's hands slipped under the table again and gently grabbed my growing erection. Despite the gloves, her hands were warm. Now I felt back in my body, for sure!
"Patient is circumcised and slightly tumescent," she remarked to Dana, I suppose, who I heard scratching on her clipboard. Dana's feet had retreated across the floor near the cabinets. Padma rolled my testicles in her palm and squeezed lightly. "Patient has no sign of testicular abnormality."
"We will begin with depilation of the pubis and scrotum." Padma said. I watched as she squirted a large amount of gel into her hand. "Mr. Black, this is a pharmaceutical depilatory creme. I will apply it, and it will quickly and gently remove the hair from your groin area." She slathered it on me. It was cold and slick. She thoroughly coated my balls and the base of my cock. "You may feel some tingling," she warned, and as she did, the tingling started and increased, but it was not bad. "Now we wait a few moments."
I heard the gloves snap off, and Padma got up from the chair and busied herself at another task as I waited. Soon she was back at the tableside. "Now we will wash off the residue, Mr. Black." Dana placed a shallow pan under the table, and gave me a quick smile as she did so, her eyes peeking out from under her short bangs. Padma once again reached under the table with gloved hands, this time holding a dripping wet sponge, which she applied skillfully to my groin. The warm water washed away the drying gel, and all my pubic hair came off with it. There was a circle of bare flesh around my cock and balls, but of course the hair on my belly and thighs was still there. This would be an interesting look to explain to my wife or the guys at the gym. Padma's hands checked my groin exactingly for any remaining hair, and satisfied at her work, she explained to me, "Mr. Black we will now make measurements of your fully tumescent penis and scrotal volume, and penis length and girth. Volume measurements are made by liquid displacement; we use a special non-wetting liquid to ensure accuracy. Dana, will you ready the cylinders while I prepare the patient?" My cock was growing harder again.
I heard Dana moving glass objects on the countertop, and Padma wheeled away from the table again. I heard a drawer open and close, and more gloves snapping off and on. She wheeled back, her white shoes pulling the chair across the floor. I felt her place a light object on the small of my back. "Stage One manual stimulation of the patient is beginning," she announced.
I watched with anticipation as Padma's hands reached under the table. With her left hand, she lightly lifted my balls, and rolled them in her delicate fingers. With her right hand, she traced lines up and down the length of my cock, sometimes gently circling the glans with her index finger. I was growing rapidly stiff. "Patient is responding normally to stimulation," she said. Dana wrote something down, standing up near my head.
Soon, with just Padma's gently play, I felt fully stiff. I was about to say something to let her know when she announced, "Patient is nearing full tumescence. I will clamp the patient now." Her left hand left my balls, and I felt the object lift from my back. With her right hand, she circled the base of my engorged cock and loaded balls, and pulled them away from my body. "Mr. Black," Padma said, holding the object under the table where I could see it, "this clamp is specially designed to allow blood flow into the penis while preventing detumescence or ejaculation. It should not cause any pain, just a slight pressure. If I pinch your skin, let me know immediately." It was molded of off-white hard plastic or rubber. She fit the first opening in the clamp around the base of my erection, and the second opening around the base of my scrotum. While holding it in place with her right hand (and no longer pulling my cock and balls away from my body), she closed the clamp with her left.
"Any pinch?" She asked.
"No," I breathed.
"I will tighten it a bit. Do not be concerned with the increase in pressure you feel. This is normal and very safe." Her left hand fiddled with something on the clamp that I could not see, and I did indeed feel the pressure around my cock increase. As well, my dick seemed to instantly swell and my ball sack tightened. The skin on the head of my cock was shiny and tightly stretched. My prick was, quite literally, throbbing.
For the first time, I moaned out loud and surprised myself.
"That's fine, Mr. Black, just relax. Do you have any discomfort?" Padma asked, as her hands disappeared from under the table.
"No," I replied. I was trying to remember to breathe evenly.
Padma reached for something situated behind her chair and said, "I am beginning Stage Two manual stimulation of the patient." I watched as her gloved hands reappeared under the table, wet with some kind of lubrication. With the fingers on her right hand she made a ring around my cock and drew it down the shaft and over the head. As it slipped off, her left hand deftly repeated the movement. I groaned out load again. It felt like a continuous series of rings were sliding down my cock, forcing it to grow larger and larger. "Patient is continuing to tumesce," she said. I felt like I might burst.
Only a few moments later, she announced "Beginning Stage Three manual stimulation." Now, Padma's right hand wanked slickly up and down my cock. Her grip was tight, but with just the right pressure. With her left hand, she cupped my super-engorged cockhead and rotated her palm rapidly about it. I was groaning constantly now, through gritted teeth. Under normal circumstances, I would have blown my wad already, but the damn clamp kept me from climaxing.
Padma slowed her wanking and her left hand fell away from my glans and cupped my balls, rolling them softly. "Patient is fully tumescent." Then she lost some of her professional demeanor. "I believe so. Dana, would you check please? I'm not sure."