I Am Such a Fool

by DG Hear

Caution: This Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Cheating, .

Desc: Sex Story: A man has cancer and thinks about what he missed. There are a few catagories that I left out. I didn't want to give the story away.

A lot of my stories have the same characteristics. There are only so many ways to cheat and fewer ways to have sex. I try to deal with the ways that couples handle their situations. Thank you to LadyCibelle and Techsan for editing my story. I made a number of changes after the editing, so any mistakes I take full responsibility for.

Most people wouldn't tell of the stupid things they have done. I wanted to tell my story so that other men out there wouldn't make the same stupid mistakes that I have. I'm a forty-five year old man who has been married since I was nineteen. I have two grown children who are now married and on their own.

I grew up in a small town, could be Anywhere, USA. I met my wife, Glenna, when we were kids. We started dating as teenagers. She got pregnant shortly before graduation. We got married shortly thereafter and our life together had begun. I was able to get a decent job at the local factory, thanks to my dad. I made good money and worked hard at providing for my family. For the first year, we lived with Glenna's parents. I can't say they liked me but they did tolerate me for doing the right thing and marrying Glenna.

I had no problem there. I really loved my wife and was happy that we were able to start our life together. After a year we were able to buy a mobile home and moved into it. Life was pretty good. Two years later we had our second child. Now we had a son and a daughter. I got clipped after that. We had our family and didn't want any more kids... Some people told me I was too young for a vasectomy, but I didn't want Glenna to have to be on the pill or use other preventive measures.

I joined a program at work to take college courses. They would pay for my schooling as long as I went for a degree and kept about a C average. It took me four years to get a two year degree; it wasn't easy but I did get it. I became a foreman at the plant shortly thereafter with a large raise in pay. I was now considered part of management. I worked my way up and after twenty years, I became head of one of the departments.

It was as high as I could go unless I wanted more schooling. I should mention that I did take refresher courses throughout the years to help me get ahead.

We were able after a few years to buy a nice home in decent neighborhood. We were the typical family about which so many people talk. To everyone we were the all American family: middle class with two kids and making a decent living.

Our sex life was great, especially in our earlier married life. We didn't care where we did it. You have to remember we were like kids ourselves and we both loved doing it. After our second child we slowed down some but we still did it every week or at least whenever we could.

I know other people have seen us making love. We did it in the car or even at a few parties we went to with friends. We often laugh when we think back at how open we were with our lovemaking. I guess we had a little exhibitionism in us. As we matured and our kids got older, we were a lot more private about our lovemaking. I will tell you that I never cheated on Glenna and she never cheated on me, to the best of my knowledge. I say this because neither of us ever refused the other. We didn't have to go outside of our marriage; our other half was always there for each other.

Throughout our married life I brought up swapping and things of that nature to Glenna. She always told me in a nice way that she didn't want any other men. I was enough for her and she vowed to always be true to me. I have to be honest with you here. You might write and say what a bastard I am and a wimp or something else, but I do believe I'm pretty much a normal guy.

I fantasized about seeing Glenna with other men. I even brought it up during some of our hot sex sessions. I would talk about how nasty she would be letting these men feel her up and stick their cocks in her. I brought many fantasies into our love making.

I would go on-line and read all these stories about swapping. I have to tell you that if you read enough of these stories you start thinking differently. The older I got the more I would read these stories. I'd constantly ask myself if I missed out on something special.

When we went to parties and I saw Glenna dance with other men, I had to wonder if they ever got a feel or even more. I would bring it up to Glenna when we were in the throes of passion. She would tell me that she always got felt up and how different men pressed up against her. When I asked her for names, she never gave any. If I mentioned any she would tell me to shut up and fuck her.

If I ever mentioned it at other times than during our lovemaking, she would tell me that she only talks like that because she knows that's what I wanted to hear. She told me she would never intentionally let men feel her up.

"You mean that you have never been approached by another man? A good looking women like you?" I asked. Glenna has always been a good looking woman. Maybe not calendar material but she always looked nice.

"Gregg, get real. Every woman gets approached by men. It doesn't make any difference what she looks like. The thing is how a woman handles the situation. I let men know up-front that I'm married and not available. I love only one man and that's you."

"Would you ever tell me if a man made advances toward you?" I asked.

"Only if I couldn't handle the situation. Would you tell me if a woman grabbed your cock?" she laughed, trying to make light of the situation.

"Probably not," I said. "I'm like you. I'd handle it or get it handled," I laughed.

To be honest I really have to wonder if I could handle seeing her with another man. Fantasy is one thing but seeing it would totally change things between us. I read in these stories that if a husband and wife agree to swap partners that it's not cheating since you both agreed on it. I think I'd have to go along with that theory.

It's something that I guess I'd never find out and I'm not sure whether I really wanted to. Maybe fantasies are best left that way.

Here I am a forty-five year old man that has only been with one woman. I'm willing to bet not many men can say that. In one sense I'm proud of having been faithful to my wife. On the other side, I feel that I might have really missed out on the sexual side of life, especially after reading all these stories. A lot of them said they were true.

Whenever I got the urge to cheat or the situation presented itself, I backed away. I will say that I've been drunk a couple of time and things got a little heated but I was always able to stop. I know I've always wondered "What if?"

As of late I haven't been feeling very good. My stomach has been bothering me. After a few months and a half dozen bottles of antacids, Glenna made me go see the doctor. I hate doctors. I remember telling Glenna that people who see doctors get sick and die. Anyway I took a day off and went to see the doc. He ran some tests and took some x-rays and told me he would contact me with the results.

He looked a bit concerned and when I asked him about it he told me he didn't want to say anything until the tests came back. Now I was worried.

I received a call from the doctor's office the next day when I was at work and asked to come to the office after work. I knew this was serious. Doctors don't make appointments that quick for common ailments. They just give a prescription. Now I was very nervous.

The doctor told me I had a growth on my intestines. He believed it to be a tumor and wanted me to make an appointment right away and get it removed. I knew what he was saying. I probably had cancer.

"Is it cancer, Doc? You have to be up front with me here."

"We don't know that for sure but, seeing cancer runs in your family, I would say there is a possible chance that it is cancerous. I'll know for sure when we take it out and run tests to see if it's benign or not. Either way it has to come out," said the doctor.

"I don't think so, Doc. I don't think I'm going to have it taken out yet," I replied.

"What? You have to have it taken out. If you don't it will surely kill you," responded the doctor.

This is when I told him the story of my father dying of cancer three years ago.

My father was a big proud man. He was a good family man and always did what he felt was right for us. One day during a routine physical, the doctor found a growth on his colon. After opening him up the tumor turned out to be cancerous. They removed what they could but the cancer had spread. He was sewn back up and given radiation treatments.

My father fought for his life for the next two months. At his death, he was just a shell of the man he once was. My mother waited on him hand and foot, night and day, both of them hoping that my father might beat the odds. I watched him suffer day after day. I vowed to myself that if I ever had cancer that I would never put my family through the agony of watching me die.

I truly believe that if my father would have just let it go that he would have died much sooner but would have left this world with a little more dignity. He told me more than once that he felt so bad putting all this worry on my mother. I know it not only took its toll on my dad but my mom as well. She died of a heart attack six months after the passing of my dad. I had to believe the loss of my dad had something to do with it.

"Doc, I have my affairs in order. We had an insurance review done recently. My wife will be well taken care of and I'm not about to put her through what my mom went though. Without the surgery, how long will I last?"

"Gregg, you can't be serious. The tumor might even be benign."

"In that case doc, it won't kill me. If it isn't benign, how long do I have, Doc?"

"I can't say, Gregg; I won't even venture a guess. You need to let us take it out as soon as possible. What are you going to say to Glenna and the kids?" asked the doctor.

"If you give me pain pills I'll just tell them I have ulcers or something. Doc, you have to try to understand. I'm doing this for them as well as for myself. We do have doctor-patient privilege here, don't we?"

"Yes, Gregg, we do, even though I think you're making the wrong choice. I will write up a report as to your condition and you will have to sign it. I hope you understand," said the doc.

"I do, Doc. Look at the bright side. If I'm still alive a month from now, maybe we'll take another look and run a biopsy," I tried to smile.

I signed the form releasing the doctor of any wrongdoing. He gave me a prescription for pain and even for antacids. I left his office trying to figure out what to tell Glenna and what to do with the remainder of my life.

Glenna and I have always had a good relationship. I didn't want to lie to her but I didn't want to put her through any unnecessary pain. Let's say I had a week or a month left. Why bother her with it. There's nothing she could do about it and besides, knowing her, it would be one big argument about me giving up.

God, I'm so confused. My head keeps turning and turning. I know I'm doing the right thing and yet to know my life is about over... damn it! My emotions are running amuck. "Why, God? Why me? There are things I never got to do. Oh, shit! What am I thinking? I'm dying and thinking about the sexual desires I never had fulfilled. Maybe, just maybe I ought to fulfill some of them."

The following week I had a trip to Nevada for a meeting. Originally I was going to cancel and have someone else go in my place, but now I thought I'd take advantage of the situation and just do a couple of the things that I used to fantasize about. It would probably be my last chance to go out with a bang. I guess I thought of it as a pun.

When Glenna came home from work she asked me about the doctor visit. She said she thought I looked out of sorts and wondered what happened. I explained to her that I had an ulcer and the doctor gave me a prescription and antacids for it. I was supposed to go see him in another month or so and he would run some more tests.

She looked at me and hugged me. I can't honestly say that she believed me. I was out of sorts and my mind was filled with confusion. She knew that I had the meeting planned the following week and asked me if I was still going.

I told her I was and that maybe getting away for a week would be good for me. I even joked and said, "Maybe I can get rid of some of this stress."

My stomach was hurting and I took a couple of the pain pills before going to bed. When Glenna got into bed I nearly attacked her. When she lay down I started kissing her and feeling her breasts. "Gregg, are you alright?" she asked.

"I just want you so bad," I said as I lowered my fingers down over her mound and started fingering her.

I got between her legs and started eating her out like I used to do years before. I was acting more like a teenager in heat than a forty five year old man. Eventually Glenna got into the game and started pumping into my face. I don't know how long I ate her pussy but I made sure she climaxed. I then climbed up and spread her legs and entered her. I drove my cock into her with abandonment. In my mind I was thinking that this could be our last time together and I was going to do everything I could for her.

Even though we made love regularly, we never went at it like this. I just couldn't get enough of my wife. Somehow, and in someway, I felt she knew more than she was saying as she went along with all my desires. She even did oral on me which is something she didn't do unless she was drunk or at least had a lot to drink.

The next day as I left for the trip she told me how much she loved me and to be careful. I told her how much I loved her also and that I would see her the following week.

I had gotten into our savings and withdrew twenty thousand dollars the day I left the doctor's office. If I were to splurge in Reno, I would need money. This was a special account that we had set up strictly for retirement. I had money transferred each month into it. I figured I'd never be alive to use any of it so I took enough to hopefully live my fantasy.

In Reno, Nevada, we had meetings in the mornings and we were on our own in the evenings. I went to the meetings on Monday and Tuesday. My stomach was bothering me so I called in and told them I wouldn't be in on Wednesday. They had my paper work delivered to my hotel room. At least I could have a chance to review it.

On Monday evening I went to one of the bars and watched the young women do striptease. It was the way that I had always pictured it on the TV episodes that took place in places like Las Vegas. Women constantly came up to me and I bought them drinks. On the stage were these dancers almost nude. On Monday night I asked one of the young ladies if she was free for the evening. She came to my room but she sure wasn't free.

When we got to the room I had so much to drink that I wasn't feeling much pain. She danced for me and then went down on me. It was over in a matter of minutes when I suddenly shot my load all over her breasts. She had pulled it out of her mouth just as I let loose. It was good but I guess I expected more. I did feel a spot of guilt. It was the first time in my life that I had cheated on my wife.

The next evening my stomach was bothering me even more. I hooked up with a bellhop who said he could get me drugs for my upset stomach. He came back with a man who offered me some weed already rolled in cigarette form. It cost me but I do feel it helps with the pain. His name was Roger and he and I went down to the bar and met some of his friends who were on their way to a party. They asked me along and I accepted.

The party was at a large house off the beaten path. Admission was a hundred dollars and you still had to buy your own drinks. The place was packed. The women seemed wild. The kind that you see on TV going to these dark clubs. It was like one of those places. Lots of flashing lights and very loud music. There were a lot of drugs and drinking going on. I ended up on a couch with two nearly nude women, probably in their late twenties.

We all had smoked more weed. It seemed to help my stomach ailment so I wasn't feeling any pain. The three of us ended up in a room and it was the first time I was ever involved in a threesome. These two gals took turns riding my cock while the other sat on my face. I was really out of it and did the best I could. Besides buying the drinks and weed, these women cost me three hundred dollars each.

I'd like to say I really enjoyed it but I could only remember parts of it. I passed out and

when I awoke the next morning I called a cab to take me back to my hotel. That's when I called the office and told them I wouldn't be in that day.

I took more pills because my stomach felt bad. The guy who sold me the weed was gone but I was able to get some off the Bellhop. I headed over to this lounge. For some reason, I wasn't into these young girls. Maybe they reminded me of my daughter or something. Anyway, I saw a woman sitting at the bar by herself.

She was a stunning woman, probably around forty, give or take a couple of years. She was built great. She had on a sequined dark blue dress that was resting high on her thighs. The dress was low-cut enough to see the valley between her breasts. I couldn't help staring at her. She made me think of Glenna, remembering how I would have these fantasies of her sitting in a bar when I would come in and ask her to dance or whatever.

The lady smiled at me. I asked her if the stool next to her was taken. "No," she said. "If you would like to talk, we could sit in a booth together."

I jumped at the idea. Her name was Maureen. We sat in the booth and made small talk. I liked being with a woman of this age. The conversation seemed more real and so was the background music. Much more toward my tastes. I asked her if she was married when I saw the ring on her finger.

"Yes, I am. We have an open marriage. Would you like to go up to my room with me?" she asked.

I asked her where her husband was and she told me he would be there. He was a voyeur. He liked to watch his beautiful wife with other men. Of course I was hesitant. She assured me that he was a very quiet and gentle man. He wouldn't interfere; he never has, she told me.

I've read so many stories about marriages like this. I decided to go for it. What did I have to lose? When we got to her room, her husband Walter introduced himself. He assured me that he wouldn't bother us but enjoyed watching his wife having sex with other men.

Maureen changed into a light robe with nothing under it. She started undressing me as Walter poured us all a drink. I had to wonder if this was the kind of guy that I fantasized being. Sitting in the corner watching my wife have sex with other men?

I was naked and lying on the bed with Maureen. I visualized Glenna and started making love to Maureen as though she was Glenna. I squeezed her breasts and started eating her out. I turned around into a sixty-nine position and continued sucking her clit while she sucked on my cock. I couldn't believe it when I looked over at Walter and saw him masturbate while I was doing his wife.

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