Chapter 11

I looked at her and took a deep breath and said to her "lilone, you know I love you. you know that as your Master its My job to do whatever I can to have you be a better you... I think you should take some school courses... maybe some computer courses since you like the computer so much... In fact I'm insisting on it." I then reached under the bed where I had been hiding dufflebag with her text books and her course schedule and presented it to her and said to her" I think this will be good for you especially while I'm trying to fight for the clubs but more importantly I want to see My lilone also part of the real world... you start college a week from today."

she looked at Me in shock but didn't argue... she knew My word was final and she said" if it is your wish i go to classes, i will do as you say... thank You Master... i love you." I could see it in her eyes... she was scared... I held her close and whispered in her ear" it will be ok lilone, I promise you... I love you and believe in you." As I was holding her, I could feel her body trembling as I knew she wasnt quite as sure...

The following Monday kimberly started classes and that day she was terrified... I decided to go to work late and drop her off at classes... she looked at Me as she got out of the car. I then said to her" lilone, I know you are scared but this will be good for you. That I promise you".

I took her hand in Mine and took her to her first class and when I left her, she could barely let go of My hand. I then drove to work.

When I got to work, I couldn't focus really... My thoughts were on kimberly... I knew she was scared and I so wished I could have stayed with her... However, I wanted far more for her and knew that this was something she needed. Just shortly after lunch, the phone in My office rang and I picked it up. It was the nurses station at the college where I dropped kimberly off... kimberly had collapsed in class and had been sent to the nurses station. I was asked to come to the college right away.

Fifteen minutes later I was sitting in the nurses station holding kimberly's hand as I listened to the college nurse. she had been asking U/us questions and had been particularly interested in when kimberly's last period was. I was a little uncomfortable and when kimberly turned red, I knew she felt the same way. she told the nurse she was late. the nurse said to her and I"look we don't have the facilities here but I will be honest with you... Kimberly, I think you may be pregnant. You should confirm it with your doctor though to be sure."

Both kimberly and I sat there stunned and I then after sitting for a few minutes trying to absorb her words said to her" are you sure it couldn't be nerves and nothing more?". The nurse said it was possible but in all honesty she doubted it.

I then took kimberly to My doctor and within a couple of hours, he did indeed verify kimberly was pregnant. I must admit I was stunned and scared. It took Me a long time to let kimberly into My life and now I was forced to accept a new baby as well. Being a father is something I never expected... in truth, it wasnt something I wanted... I was scared because of My own demons... I didn't want My demons to affect My child as they had Me. However, I loved kimberly and this baby is was just as much kimberly's as it was Mine.

That night, after dinner I asked kimberly to come sit with Me so W/we could talk. Ever since W/we had found out she was pregnant, I hardly said two words to her. As she approached Me I could see the fear in her eyes. she looked at Me and then dropped to her knees at My feet. I then patted the couch and asked her to get up off the floor and she did so. As I took her hand in Mine, I could feel her trembling and I then looked into her eyes and said "lilone, all day I have been trying to find the words to say to you. to tell you what I feel. I am speachless. Right now, I'm terrified. Growing up, My life as you know it was full of abuse and then I also became an abuser and as you know My violent behavior killed Rachel. I do not want My child to have to live that way. No child should have to. I won't lie to you. I don't feel like I would be much of a father. However, I want to try."

As kimberly heard My words she listened. Tears had welled up in her eyes and she then asked for permission to speak. I nodded My head and she then took a deep breath and looked into My eyes and said" Master, i'm well aware of Your past. In the beginning after You told me about Your past i was a little apprehensive. however, i took the risk cause i had nowhere else to go and there was something that told me You had changed... that the person that You described to me was gone. Since then i have seen nothing to indicate i was wrong. You have been kind to me as well as loving. i would be proud to carry Your child and have no fear about doing so. however, if You are not sure then i am willing to give up O/our child because i only want to please You. You mean a great deal to me. You are my Master and i am here to serve You and if getting rid of this baby proves that to You then i will do it."

I was stunned as I heard her words. A big part of Me wanted so much to take her up on her offer because I truly believed that My demons would only cause her and O/our child pain. However, I couldn't bring Myself to do it and I looked into her eyes and said"lilone, I am not going to allow you to give up O/our baby. Yes I am scared. However, I want to try to make this work for U/us and O/our child so W/we will continue as W/we have only W/we will prepare to bring a new life into the world." With that I reached into My pocket and pulled out a small box and a larger box. I then took the smaller box and handed it to her and I then watched her eyes as she looked at the small box in her hand. she stared at it as if she was afraid to open it. I then prodded her to open it and she did so with trembling hands. As soon as she unwrapped it she opened the box and saw what was inside. Inside was a gold band ring with a small diamond in it. As she looked at the ring, I got down on one knee and I then asked her."My kimberly, I love you very much and I would be proud if you would do Me the honour of being My wife."