The Changeling

by Beating Off Bob

Copyright© 2007 by Beating Off Bob

: There once was an author, who had this very strange name. People kept saying "You should change your name." You'd think that people who like reading smutty stories, would also like the author to have a smutty name. Such was not the case.


Once upon a time there was a normal, ordinary, every-day kind of guy, who had some naughty thoughts, like lots of other normal, ordinary, every-day kinds of folks. He read naughty stories on the internet and, to be truthful, enjoyed some of them by masturbating, while he read them.

That may be too much information for some of you, but it's important, because, when this normal, ordinary, every-day kind of guy decided to try writing his own stories, he chose the pen name "Beating Off Bob". It just seemed appropriate to the task at hand ... no pun intended.

Part of his decision to use that pen name was because, among his other interests, Bob liked philosophy, and puns, and hidden meanings, along with not-so-hidden meanings. "Beating Off Bob" was like that ... appropriate to the task, since his desire was to create situations in which his work might cause people to do the same thing he did.

And so, off he went, writing stories, and posting them in various web venues, including the best story site on the internet, commonly known as SOL.

Time passed, and people reacted to Bob's stories. Most of that response was quite positive, and made Bob feel pretty good. He listened to his readers, many of whom said things like:

"I've never read any of your stuff, because I was put off by your pen name. I got bored one night, though, and gave one a try. I was pleasantly surprised."

Life was a little like a fairy tale for Bob, because, as ordinary and normal as he felt himself to be, people said he had a flair with words, and his descriptions sometimes helped people see things in their imaginations. That was a lot of fun.

But, like in a lot of fairy tales (Bob wrote a few of those too, by the way) there is usually trouble.

The trouble in Bob's situation came in the form of another author, who used a name that also had "Bob" in it. Not only that, that other author wrote stories with some of the same codes in them as Beating Off Bob did.

Now, normally, that wouldn't be a problem at all. Bob is a pretty common name, after all. The problem was that people began to be confused. They thought Beating Off Bob, and this other Bob, were one in the same person.

They weren't.

They aren't.

They will never be.

And so, to resolve this problem, Beating Off Bob decided to change his name, so the confusion would go away.

But that meant he had to think up a new name ... a name that would go with the task at hand ... that of writing erotica.

He thought and thought.

He knew of a reference to a mythical creature who, when first mentioned in the English language, was called "Lubrican". Interestingly enough, that creature was mentioned in Middleton and Dekker's "The Honest Whore", a book with some arguably erotic content in it.

Lubrican, which is now spelled "Leprechaun" in these modern times, was a sprite, a member of the class of beings who lived in an imaginary place, and were hard to see. Lubrican was also accused of exciting the lusts of the unwary.

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