One and One Is Two

by

Caution: This Humor Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa, Consensual, Heterosexual, Humor, Oral Sex, Voyeurism, .

Desc: Humor Sex Story: If it doesn't add up, there's a problem!



I whistled as I strolled down the block. I even smiled at everyone I met. I had gone into work for a few hours on an emergency call, but now I was headed to Ralph and Betty Lang's place for a spring cookout. It was only a few blocks from our home, thus the decision to walk. It was early April but felt more like June. The sun warmed my face, even as it coaxed the flowers from their winter's rest. Life was good.

Kids had worn a path through a vacant lot behind Lang's house. It had become a much-used shortcut to the park a few blocks away. I decided to follow that path rather than walk all the way around the block to the front door. The trail led along the fence that Ralph had erected a few years ago to prevent his front yard from becoming the path most taken. As I idled along the trail, my mind was imagining that first cold beer, along with a juicy burger, a big sliced onion and a big dose of ketchup. I was already licking my chops.

Then I heard something that made me freeze in my tracks. I looked at Lang's house and realized I was just a few feet from their guest bedroom. The window was too high to see much other than the ceiling of the room through a small opening in the drapes. The window was open, however, and the curtains did nothing to impede sound.

"Show me those tits, Grace!" urged a male voice. "You act so prissy all the time, but I know what a hot bitch you really are. I'm going to suck on those tits. Then I'll keep your bra for a souvenir, you hot little slut! Then we'll go back to the party for a while. You don't want everyone to know what a tramp you really are, do you? Later on, I'm going to have you blow me. You like the idea of going braless in front of everyone, and then sneaking back here to suck my cock, don't you?"

I was listening intently for any response to what sounded to me, like a rhetorical question. My wife was the only woman I knew named Grace, and I sure didn't like the conversation to this point!

"Mmmmmmm," was the next sound I heard. I wasn't an eavesdropping expert with the FBI or anything, but it sure sounded like a female moan, and not a moan of pain. Then the male voice spoke again.

"You love it when I suck on those nipples don't you, slut?" he chuckled. "We'd better get back to the party and mingle. You'll have to blow me later."

I was still frozen in place when I heard the door in the bedroom open and close. I suddenly realized I was sweating profusely, and barely breathing. I leaned on the fence and began taking deep breaths, trying to calm my heart and my stomach. I must have remained there for another five minutes. Then I dejectedly turned and started back home.

I had to think. I knew the male voice belonged to Jack Robbins. He and his wife, Marcie, had moved into the area the previous fall. He was a big guy; probably a couple inches over six feet and he tipped the scales well over the Mendoza line. Marcie was a mousy little blonde woman, thin and quiet. Jack liked the sound of his voice and did most of the talking for both of them.

As I walked, my anger began to mount. I had never cheated on Grace. I had always given her everything she wanted. If anything, I was too damn good to her! I always yielded to her wishes and desires. We'd visit her relatives on holidays and go to all the weddings in her family. If I suggested we do something with my family, she'd have a dozen reasons why we shouldn't. I gradually stopped trying. The few times we attended a function that involved my family; I'd hear for weeks what assholes my relatives were. It wasn't worth the misery.

Grace was a manager at a local department store. I never suggested it wasn't a good job, but she was quite defensive about it, at least to me. I knew she thought that I thought it was a cushy job with no real future. Actually, I did think that, but how did she know? I never voiced my feelings about her work, to her, or to anyone else.

I owned and operated a flooring business. We specialized in tile floors, but installed laminates, hard and soft wood flooring, as well as linoleum for those that insisted. I had six men working for me and I was considering hiring another, if the right guy came along. My business was successful by any standard and I was proud of it. Grace seemed less impressed, although she enjoyed the things my hard work and success could provide for her.

We had been married 23 years and she was still an attractive woman. In many ways, she was more appealing now than when I married her at 19. She was no longer thin and willowy, but she wasn't fat by a long shot. Voluptuous would be the easiest way to describe Grace now. Her tits had increased in size over the years, and after having two kids, but her ass had rounded out as well and all in all, the total package worked very nicely. I had to admit that.

Now she was showing some jackass her tits and was going to blow him later? Shit! I was getting pissed. Maybe it wouldn't have bothered me so much if I had been getting all I wanted. That was so far from the truth it hurt. When we were first married, she couldn't get enough of my cock. It wasn't all that unusual for me to wake up in the night to find her riding the little guy. I even got an occasional blowjob back then, although they were never that frequent.

Now whenever I try to get close to her, she'd act like little Bill was a venomous snake. It certainly wasn't encouraged to find it's way above her waist, and far too seldom was it accepted below the Mason/Dixon Line.

Why the hell was I crawling back home with my tail between my legs? I was the one that was wronged! It occurred to me that Grace knew I would never challenge her actions or make a scene. She probably thought I'd be too dumb to notice anything, or too cowardly to do anything about it. Then there was that bastard, Jack. He seemed to have no respect for me at all. Grace probably told him I was a goddamn wimp! I turned around again and headed briskly back the way I had come.

I walked through the house and opened the slider to the back yard. The Langs owned an insurance company and did very well. They had a large yard and an in-ground pool. It was still too cool for swimming, but Ralph had the pool uncovered and it looked inviting on such a warm spring afternoon. I knew the water couldn't be much more than 50 degrees, if that.

There were probably a dozen people sitting around enjoying cold drinks and barbequed delights. I scanned the crowd for Grace. It took a minute but I found her. She was sitting on the arm of a chair, with that prick, Jack, sitting in the chair. His hand rested on her back, just above her ass.

Grace was laughing and waving her left arm to punctuate her words as she spoke to some friends seated near by. I could see her tits move unfettered under the shirt she was wearing. Grace was braless! That knowledge renewed and invigorated by wrath!

A couple of partiers spoke to me as I stalked past them, but I paid them no attention. I was focused on Grace's tits bouncing under her shirt. As I neared her, Grace finally noticed my approach and turned her face to look at me. What she saw caused her smile to immediately evaporate. Jack looked up and quickly removed his hand from Grace's backside.

I grabbed the arm of the chair and heaved it up and over. It really wasn't too difficult with Grace sitting on the other arm. As mad as I was at that moment, I could have flipped a refrigerator! Everything seemed to happen in slow motion after that.

Grace and Jack both let out yelps as they became air born. Grace's drink dropped from her hand as she went flying backward. Jack took a higher trajectory and actually seemed to soar over Grace's head as she whirled her arms in small circles trying to regain her balance. I had proved, or possibly disproved, at least one law of physics because they both hit the surface of Lang's pool at the same moment. Jack had covered a greater distance in the same period of time. As the two bodies broke the calm of the water, everything went back to real time.

Since Grace hadn't soared as high, or as fast, she bobbed back to the surface almost ten seconds before Jack's head reappeared. She quickly reached the side of the pool and hung on desperately. Her teeth were already chattering and she had a bluish hue. Jack's head emerged and he began swimming for the nearby ladder.

Ralph Lang bent over and grabbed Grace's hands and lifted her out of the water. I noticed that her shirt clung to her braless tits and her nipples looked like small stones. Meanwhile Jack scampered up the ladder and rushed toward me cursing.

"Are you nuts, you crazy bastard? I ought to kick your ass and toss you into that ice water and see how you like it!" he threatened as he pushed his face into mine.

"Well, start kicking, Shit-face," I yelled back. "You'd better make your first shot count or you'll be right back cooling your balls in that pool!"

I was as angry as I had ever been. Still, part of my mind realized that Jack was a pretty big guy and I was going to be hurting before we finished, regardless of who was declared the victor. That thought did not cause me to back off in any way. I actually wanted to feel his fist against my face. That would justify whatever came next, and no matter what the outcome, the bastard would remember me.

I was taken completely by surprise when Jack pulled back and seemed to lose his mad immediately. He turned away from me and looked at the spectators watching the scene. Then he faced me again.

"Hell, Bill. I'm sorry! I overreacted there for a second. I can take a little joke as well as the next guy. I'll just go find some dry stuff to put on and have a drink with you when I come back."

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Story tagged with:
Ma/Fa / Consensual / Heterosexual / Humor / Oral Sex / Voyeurism /