Psychological conditioning is an interesting aspect of individual evolution. As we learn and grow certain patterns emerge that control your actions and reactions a great deal. Many of these are introduced by family, friends and those positions of power and control through experience and words. The strongest of those are always attached to emotion. Fear, pleasure, love and hate control what you do in life, and this brings me to my tale of pleasure, fear, humiliation and hate.
My husband and I are free spirited people. Open-minded and inventive describes a number of our past experiences perfectly. We have tried a number of things and believe whole-heartedly in the saying "try anything once". I thought we had tried everything when he suggested an 'experiment'.
Conditioned response was what he called it. An automatic physical response to outside stimuli enforced through intense emotion. And the emotion selected was pleasure, specifically sexual pleasure.
We had talked a few times about orgasm on demand and I decided that it would ruin the experience, so I knew that was not his idea. When he told me what he planned and his expectations I was appalled, at first. That gave way to curiosity and finally a deep need to find out if it was possible, so I agreed.
The first step involved getting a small cow bell, loud enough to be heard anywhere in the house, but not too large to be obvious. This was hung from the bed post. The bell was sounded every night immediately before some very energetic sex.
I will admit at first I was hesitant. I mean such rough, fast sex was something I was not used to and I had some doubts about actually deriving pleasure from it, but these worries vanished after only a few 'sessions'.
Within a few weeks I started looking forward to my nightly romp. I would be practically bouncing, giddy with the idea of getting upstairs for another furious attack of my pleasure center.
This was when the hate set in. I realized that the experiment was proving successful and I was upset. Upset with myself for being manipulated so easily. Upset with my husband for actually following through and finally hate, real hate that I had no intention of quitting because I was addicted to the feelings that were evoked in me during these hot nights.
Acceptance was found one night when I made a very important and exciting discovery. I was sitting in the living room, reading, while my husband was busy doing whatever. I had zoned into my book and was enjoying it very much when suddenly I heard it. The bell had been rung. It was too early for bed so I figured that it must have been knocked accidentally. Then I felt it; an overwhelming need to go upstairs. I needed to get into my bed and find that pleasure that filled my whole being every night. Suddenly I was wet. Actually I was more than wet, I was probably staining my clothes my need was so powerful.
I went to my bed and found my lover waiting patiently. As I lay down he took me with same intensity as he did every night since this had started, only this time the act was that much more intense because of my acceptance and understanding.
.... There is more of this story ...