Chapter 2

I went over to Lisa's house and she answered the door. "Jason, what are you doing here?"

"I came to find out if I'm about to become a father. Are you pregnant, Lisa? Are you pretty sure it's mine? I'll take care of it. I'll own up to my responsibilities. I'll even marry you and give the kid a good home."

"Marry you? I'm not going to marry you. If it is yours it wasn't made out of love. It was nothing but an afternoon fuck. I talked it over with my parents and we decided that it would be best if I had an abortion. My parents know about your past and you better leave before they get home."

"Lisa, it's my kid too. You're just going to kill it?"

Right then her mom and dad came home. Her dad told me to get the hell out of their home before they called the police and had me arrested for trespassing. I didn't know what to say. I was there to try and do the right thing but her dad treated me like trash.

I grabbed her dad and pushed him up against the wall. "You son of a bitch. I stopped by here to own up to my responsibilities and you didn't even give me a chance. I ought to beat the shit out of you."

"Stop!" I heard a voice behind me. I turned and it was Ellen. She turned white when she saw me. She was totally lost for words. While she was standing there Lisa spoke.

"Jason, the baby isn't yours; it's Boyd's. I'm over two months gone and I wasn't with you at the time. I just told everyone it was yours to get even with Boyd. We had a fight and I know how much he hated you so I told him you were the father. I am going to have an abortion anyway. I'm too young to be a mother, but it's none of your concern anyway.

Ellen had gained her composure and decided to speak. "Get out of our house, young man, and if you ever come by here again, we'll have you arrested. You stay the hell away from our daughter."

I walked to the door and looked over at Lisa then Ellen. "Like mother, like daughter, and they say that I'm fucked up." I shook my head as I walked out the door. I looked back to see Ellen's husband questioning her on what I had said. I have no idea how she responded.

When it was time for me to leave for the service, Marie and Julie drove me to the airport. I hugged and kissed Marie and then Julie. "Are you two going to write to me?"

It actually hurt me to say that to Julie. She reached over and kissed me on the lips. "I'll write you every chance I get. You take care of yourself and return to us, won't you?" asked Julie.

I was somewhat saddened as I got on the plane. I headed out for basic training. It was a lot rougher than I had expected. I was no longer the bad boy. I backtalked to my drill Sergeant and got my ass kicked. I was growing up quick. I didn't write to anyone till I was out of boot camp. I got a couple of weeks off but I spent them checking out other cities. No use going home for a couple of weeks. I figured Marie and Julie had boyfriends and I would just get jealous.

After my short leave I was being sent to another base to take training in bomb and mine disassembly. I knew that I would be going to Iraq and I wanted training that would make a difference. I constantly heard on the news that terrorists set roadside bombs and someone needed to know how to locate and dismantle them.

It was quite awhile before I wrote anyone. They didn't have any address to write to me. I needed to tell them that I was okay. I wrote to Marie and told her to say hi to Mom and Harold for me. Here is part of the rest of what I wrote to Marie.

"Hi, Sis. I know I promised to write but I needed to get my shit together. I'm sorry for not writing sooner. I will be leaving for Iraq tomorrow. I want you to know that I feel like I finally belong. My fellow soldiers and I are a band of brothers. I never knew what it meant till now. They are there to watch my back and I will watch theirs.

We are a real fighting squad. I got my ass kicked when I first talked back to my drill sergeant but now we are the best of friends. I have to say he has my total respect. He has taught me how to focus my anger without losing my temper. I now feel like I'm really part of something big and a group of brothers that are setting out to do some good. Hell with the politicians, we're out to save people less fortunate and to give them a better chance at life.

I have something I have to say to you. I think I really care for Julie. I can't say love because I'm really not sure. The guys in my squad are always showing pictures of their wives or girlfriends. I wish I had a picture of Julie to show them. I don't understand it but at night when it's quiet, she's the only woman that I think about. I kept my promise to you and left her alone. I know it was for the best because everything I touch turns to shit, but I really do miss her.

Whatever you do don't let her see this letter and please see what you can do about the picture. I miss you both and wish you the best with your schooling and boyfriends. Just tell Julie hi for me.

Love ya, your big brother
Jason."

In case I didn't mention it, Marie was going to college to be a teacher. Julie was going to college under a two year program to become a nurse. They both had gotten scholarships to help pay their tuition.

Our mail system is pretty slow in Iraq. I did get a reply from Marie but it took almost two months to get it.

"Hi, Jason. I miss you so much. Things are pretty hectic here. I go to college during the day and at night I help Mom and Harold at the diner. Julie is doing pretty much the same thing. She is helping at the diner too.

I don't know where you got your information but neither Julie nor I have a boyfriend. We do go out with Jerry and Gary but only as friends. I have something to tell you. Please don't be mad at me. The reason I told you not to hit on Julie is because she has always liked you. I really thought you might use her and toss her aside before you really got to know her.

You told me not to let her see the letter you wrote. Julie was here when I received it and opened it. I was reading it out loud and it was too late when I read that part. She knows what you wrote. By the time I got done reading it, she was crying. She wrote you a short note and I included it in my envelope. I also sent you a snapshot of me and Julie in our prom dresses. Just tell your buddies you have two girlfriends. You take care and remember I love you. Sis."

I looked at the picture of my sweet little sister and of Julie. They were two darn good looking women. I truly believe I loved them both. I opened the other letter from Julie.

"Hi, Jason. You know by now I've read your letter to Marie, so I'll get to the point. I have always had a crush on you. I was crying one day and Marie had come over and asked me what the problem was. I told her that it seemed like you didn't care for me. I asked her what was wrong with me. You took out every girl or woman but never once asked me out. Marie went on to explain that she told you to leave me alone. I now know she did it for me but I was mad at her for awhile.

I just want you to know that I don't have a boyfriend. I will wait for you if you think we'll have a chance together. I don't want to be used, I want to be loved. Just be honest with me and let me know. I've always trusted you and truly believe you will be honest with me.

I'm going to school full time and helping your mom at the diner. I really like her. Oh, I forgot. You wanted a picture of me. I know you have the prom picture that your sister sent you. I had Marie take one of me to keep in your shirt pocket. Please take care of yourself and return to me.

Love always
Julie."

I looked at the picture she enclosed in the envelope. She had on a two piece blue bathing suit. Wow! She looked great. I would consider it calendar material. I put it in my shirt pocket so it would be close to my heart. When a soldier is away from home, he really has the time to think. I don't know why I felt this way about a girl I have only kissed twice. The main thing is I didn't just feel it in my head but also in my heart.

As time passed I received letters from Julie and Marie. Mom would always enclose a note with their letters. She would always tell me how proud of me she was. She would also tell me how much she loved Julie. She was like a second daughter to her.

Time was passing and I had been in Iraq over a year. I felt that I was doing something really meaningful. You just have to see the faces of all these children and the families we saved. To me it wasn't about a war. It was about helping people that didn't have the means to help themselves.

I was nearing the end of my tour of duty. I had signed up for a second tour in Iraq. I had been gone going on three years. A night didn't go by that I didn't think of Julie waiting for me. Our letters between each other gave me hope of a new life when I got out.

Marie told me that she had met a guy in college and was getting pretty serious about him. I asked her if Julie was doing much dating and she told me that ever since I wrote her and told her she was my girl she hasn't dated anyone but yet she was always happy. She couldn't wait for my return.

We heard that there were a number of land mines put throughout this small town and our bomb squad unit went though this town at a snails pace locating the mines and bombs and disarming them. It's so hard to believe that terrorists would blow up their own people, women and children especially.

We heard a scream come from a makeshift schoolhouse. Six members of our squad entered and there were about twenty kids and a teacher in the room. We looked over and a young boy was standing on a mine. We knew if he took his foot off of it that it would explode. We had no idea how powerful these mines were seeing they were homemade. He was crying as I told him not to move and that we would help him.

"What's your name son?" I asked trying to calm him down.

"I'm Adar. I'm ten years old," he said in his best English.

"Adar, I'm Jason and I going to help you. Everything's going to be all right. Just don't move your foot, ok?"

"I'm scared, I don't want to die," replied Adar.

"You're not going to die if I can help it. Just do what I say. Hold your foot steadfast and don't move it."

I stayed with Adar as the other soldiers took the rest of the children to safety. When everyone was outside in a safe area, I asked one of my brothers to hand me a metal blanket. It's used to cover yourself when exploding a mine or bomb. I just hope it was thick enough. After everyone was out of the building, I wrapped the blanket around my shoulders and over my head. I reached out and quickly pushed Adar to the floor and laid on top of him with the metal blanket over me, hoping to absorb any metal fragments from the dirty bomb.

Instantly there was an explosion. It was the last thing I heard.

All I remember after that was seeing a great light. I didn't know whether I was dead or dreaming or whatever. A voice called from the light. I couldn't quite hear it. I remember getting up and walking toward the beautiful light; the voice was louder.

"Jason, go back; it's not your time yet," the voice kept repeating.

It was so calm and peaceful. I felt so relaxed. It felt like someone was holding my hand, at other times it felt like I was being kissed on the cheeks and forehead, even gently on the lips. I kept thinking I was dreaming but I couldn't wake up.

I went toward the beautiful light again. So bright, white and gold, as I got to the light I was told once again. "Go back, Jason. It's not your time yet; time to go back and wake up."

I felt my eyelids began to open. The light from the room I was in was so bright. I was squinting and I thought I saw Julie sitting there holding my hand. Then I heard a voice.

"Jason, my Jason, you're awake." It was Julie, where was I? Was I still dreaming? Then I heard Julie yell for the doctor.