Copyright© Arthur Shadwe, 2007
Sally arrived at the university with a void in her heart that was eating away at her soul like a malevolent cancer. The emptiness manifested as a hunger that drove everything she did. It was relentless and affected every aspect of her life. The insidiousness of the hunger was that she wasn't even aware of it. All she knew was that there was a restlessness that drove her to continuously seek out approval. It never occurred to her that there wasn't enough approval in the world to sate her hunger. There was no pedestal tall enough on which she could be placed.
The sad thing was that it didn't matter who approved of her. It was the applause that was important and not who was clapping. The credentials or successes of her admirers meant nothing to her. Praise from a homeless man meant as much as praise from a Nobel Laureate. She didn't care why they approved of her; she just needed to hear praise from them.
You're so beautiful. You're so smart. You're so graceful. You're so elegant. You're so fashionable. Those were the words that Sally needed to hear. On hearing them, she would feel satisfaction for the barest fraction of a second before the emptiness swallowed it whole. Unfortunately, it would leave her even more dissatisfied for having felt that fleeting sensation of satisfaction. The merest hint of disapproval would tear open the void and make the hunger a thousand times worse.
The need to hear praise was sad enough, but it was made worse in the sense that she didn't even care about the form in which approval was delivered. The erection of a horny young lad on seeing her naked body was just as meaningful to her as a national prize for a well written essay. They both represented a form of approval and it was the approval that her insatiable hunger craved.
The hunger could have been used to propel her to success. Throughout high school, good grades had never been a problem. Her hunger drove her to make good grades in the hope of earning the approval of her fellow students, the teachers, and her parents. Her teachers gave her awards and honors, but they weren't enough for her. Her parents praised her accomplishments, but their words didn't fill the void.
Enrolling in the university had been motivated by her hunger rather than any real desire to learn. It had whispered in her ear that there were thousands of people at the university and surely one of them would approve of her enough to satisfy her craving. Upon her arrival, she had circled the Student Center like a shark searching for its next meal. She was seeking the person or group who could heap enough praise on her.
In an attempt to spread her net far and wide, Sally joined every club on campus. There wasn't a single campus event that she missed even if it meant that she went from one to the next spending as little as five minutes at each. Her schedule was so tight that she occasionally had to miss classes. Her grades suffered, but praise for good grades was rare on a university campus.
It wasn't long before she realized that her initial strategy of joining in with socially active people wasn't working. Smart people weren't impressed by the shallow claims of cleverness that often popped out of her mouth. The ambitious wouldn't lavish praise upon her for her accomplishments but would point out where there was room for improvement. The beautiful wouldn't praise her modest good looks. Trying to be around them had only increased her hunger.
Sally would return from parties devastated at her failure to achieve sufficient praise. Out of five hundred people there, only a handful would even notice her. Maybe one or two people would compliment her for some reason or another. It was never enough. She wanted everyone to turn and applaud her entrance. She wanted the men to be overwhelmed by her beauty, intelligence, and wit. The hunger dreamed of a thousand men groveling at her feet and begging for her favors. She wanted the women to turn green from envy. According to her hunger, even envy was a form of praise.
Unsatisfied by the results of her hectic social life, she changed her strategy. Sally decided that the people she would pursue in her search for praise would not be the best and the brightest. She would chose the easy path and go after the dregs of university society. The losers, deadbeats, and dropouts would praise her. She was sure that they would have to see how much better she was than them.
Even the dregs hold parties and Sally managed to be invited to as many as possible. The morning after one of those parties, Sally woke in her bed with the taste of sour wine in her mouth. Her stomach boiled in memory of all the wine she had consumed the night before at the lame excuse for a party. She ran to the bathroom barely making it before her body tried to purge the toxins produced from consuming too much alcohol. Her ass burned as memories of the previous evening returned to her.
Sally arrived at the party ready to be the center of attention. Of course, this party could barely be considered as such except by someone with a generous nature and an overactive imagination. Four guys and a girl were sitting around the living room of a decrepit house drinking beer out of long necked bottles. There wasn't even any music playing in the background. Conversation was little more than trading insults.
Sally knew the four guys, but she didn't recognize the girl. She automatically compared herself to the girl. The girl was wearing blue jeans and a tube top. With her greasy brunette hair, Sally pegged the girl as trailer park trash. In comparison, Sally was wearing white thigh high stockings, a short skirt that ended three inches above the top of her stockings, and a shirt that stopped well above the top of her skirt while being cut low enough to show off the swell of her breasts. There was lots of opportunity for praise in this situation.
Derrick, smelling somewhat from not having bathed in three days, raised his bottle of beer and said, "Hey guys, Sally is here. Now the party can really begin."
Sally smiled at the suggestion that it wouldn't be a party until she had arrived. It was faint praise and her hunger wanted more. Hoping for a little more attention, she asked, "You were waiting for me?"
Joe grabbed the crotch of his ratty blue jeans and said, "God damn girl, you look good enough to fuck."
"You think so?"
Joe licked his lips and said, "Definitely. You're prime meat, woman."
Bobby, with his low sloping forehead and hairy body, looked like a throwback to caveman days. Rolling his head so that he was looking at the greasy haired girl, he said, "Janet, get that bottle of wine for Sally."
"You get it," Janet said irritated at being ordered around by Bobby.
Bobby threw a pillow at her and said, "Get off your ass bitch and do as I say."
"Why does she get wine and I'm stuck with fucking beer?" Janet asked throwing the pillow back at him.
Holding a joint in his hand, Gary answered, "Because she's got more class in her little finger than you've ever had in your whole life. That's why."
Sally didn't notice the crudeness of their behavior and their rude treatment of Janet. All she cared about was the praise even if it was indirectly aimed at her. It still wasn't enough.
Gary lit the joint and took a drag off of it. He held it up for her, but she waved it off. She didn't need that kind of drug.
Janet climbed out of the chair bitching as she headed to the kitchen. She grabbed a jug of cheap wine from the refrigerator and snagged a glass with the logo of a beer company on it. She dumped them both on the battered coffee table in front of Sally before dropping back into her chair.
Sally took a seat in the cleanest chair in the room although cleanliness was a relative term. She poured herself a glass of wine pleased that they had been so considerate to accommodate her in that manner. This evening would satisfy her hunger; it just had to satisfy it. She raised the glass and said, "Here's to a great party."
Tim looked across the room at Sally and swore he could almost see her panties. He took a swig from his beer, belched, and then said, "Fuck, you are one hot looking bitch."
"Thanks," Sally said wishing they wouldn't be so crude in their compliments. She drank down the entire glass of wine and refilled it.
Joe said, "I bet you're a real good fuck."
"The best you'll ever have," Sally said enjoying being the center of attention. It was a shame that there weren't more people there to appreciate her.
Gary laughed and, curling his fingers as if grasping a cylinder, made a gesture like he was jacking off. He said, "The best fuck Joe has ever had is five fingered Mary."
"Shit, speak for yourself asshole," Joe replied waving his bottle of beer around.
Sally drank some more of the wine enjoying how the men were arguing over her qualities as a sex object. She looked over at Janet feeling very superior. That the men were ignoring Janet in favor of her was another form of praise. Her hunger wanted more attention and Sally wondered if she could get the greasy haired girl to admit her superiority.
Getting pissed at the men, Janet said, "I'll fuck you, Joe."
Taking the joint from Gary, Joe looked over at Janet and then at Sally. He took a toke on the joint and held his breath. When he released it, he said, "I'd rather fuck Sally."
"That prissy bitch doesn't know the first thing about fucking," Janet said with disdain.
Sally smiled at the obvious jealousy that Janet was demonstrating. The evening was turning out very good. She had five people focused on her. She took a drink of wine and then said, "Joe doesn't seem to agree."
"That's right," Joe said. He took another hit off the joint and leered at Sally thinking about how she would look with her legs wrapped around him.
Janet pulled down her tube top revealing a pair of breasts that sagged halfway to her navel. She lifted one of them and licked the nipple. Looking over at Sally, she said, "That scrawny little bitch doesn't have boobs. She's got itty bitty titties."
Furious at the insult, Sally ripped open her blouse and said, "I've got boobs, bitch. They're even better than yours. They don't hang down to the ground like yours."
"Fuck man," Gary said looking at Sally. He grinned and said, "Those are the finest boobs I've seen in ages. Come here and let me taste them."
Sally downed the rest of her wine and refilled her glass. It wouldn't do to have her go to him. Her hunger needed him to come to her and worship at her breasts. She took another gulp of wine. With her shirt still open, she asked, "What are you doing over there?"
It started with Gary fondling her breasts. She drank more wine while he mashed them between his dirty fingers. Pretty soon, Derrick was there pinching and twisting her nipples. The odor from Derrick was pretty bad, but she wouldn't complain. Both men kept saying, "These are fine boobs."
Sally didn't really appreciate the way they were handling her breasts, but as long as they were praising them she was unable to complain. The next thing she knew, there were fingers pushing their way into her pussy. She was about to object when Joe said, "God damn. Isn't that the sweetest looking pussy you've ever seen?"
No matter what they did to her, she was unable to voice an objection. They kept giving her just enough praise to make it okay. She took their abusive gropes while enjoying their praise. She drank more wine to kill the pain. Things got real hazy after that.
Rising from the toilet, Sally looked at herself in the mirror. There was dried come in her hair. She looked down at her red swollen pussy and knew that she had taken a real pounding the night before. Her ass really hurt, but she couldn't remember any reason for it to hurt so much.
She stepped into the shower to wash all traces of her evening away. She knew that her parents wouldn't have approved of how she had spent the evening, but they had never been able to satisfy her need for praise. They didn't understand her and she was convinced that they would never try to understand her. The only way she would have allowed someone to fuck her like that was if they were giving her the kind of attention that she craved.
After her shower, she dressed in clothes that bordered on slutty in the hope that people would notice. Satisfied with her appearance, she headed to breakfast at the dining hall. She circled the room twice watching to see if anyone noticed her. There were a few glances in her direction, but not the kind of look that she needed to see. Getting her food, she sat down at a table hoping that someone would come join her. No one did. Nothing could wake the hunger easier than being ignored.
Depressed at the lack of attention that she had received over breakfast, she headed back to her room to check for e-mails and instant messages. There was always something in the e-mail or chat rooms that represented praise. She found an e-mail from Gary. There was a link to a webpage. Next to the link was text that said, "You are so fucking hot."
She clicked on the link and waited for the page to load. She stared at the page finding a picture with a large arrow centered on it with the caption, "Play," next to the arrow. The picture showed a man's cock entering a woman's asshole and a second man's cock entering her cunt. It was extremely graphic.
Sally clicked the play button curious about what she would see. The action picked up as both men were hammering their cocks into the woman. She could hear the men talk about how tight her ass was and how hot her cunt was.
She wondered why Gary would e-mail that link to her until the view changed to show the woman sucking on a cock. She stared at the video in horror when she realized the identity of the woman. She was the woman! About to get angry, she heard Derrick say, "You're the best cocksucker I've ever had wrap her lips around my cock."
She watched the entire video unable to take her eyes from it. It was almost ten minutes long. The video showed just about every depraved act that was imaginable involving four men. For part of it, she was actually sucking two cocks at once while there was a cock in her ass and one in her cunt. It dawned on her that the other woman at the party must have been the one who had filmed it.
Throughout the video, the men told her how great she was. They called her a hot bitch, a good fuck, and a great cocksucker. She showed Derrick his come on her tongue after he came in her mouth. She made a production out of swallowing it and was rewarded with more comments about her great qualities as a sexy woman. She sucked off the cock that had been in her ass; an act that brought lots of compliments from the men.
The video came to an end after she had received a facial. She stared at the screen for a full minute. With a trembling hand, she moved the mouse over the play button and watched it a second time. Each compliment took away the hurt and pain that the video should have created. Maybe it had been degrading, but they praised her throughout the entire horrible episode.
She played it a third time with her eyes closed savoring the praise. When it was over, she still needed more.
"I am a great fuck," she said. Saying it herself did not do anything for the hunger. She turned her attention back to the webpage. Under the video were comments made by others who had watched it. There were almost a hundred comments. They talked about how hot she was. She read each one savoring the awe that was expressed in them. She was called a slut in a few of them, but the hunger chose to treat that as praise for her raw female sexual energy.
For almost thirty minutes, that hunger had been pushed back just a little, but it returned even stronger. She needed more praise and attention. The second time reading the comments did not have the impact of the first time. The third time had no effect. She needed more and sitting in her room was not getting her the attention she needed.
She stared at the webpage for another ten minutes. Her mind was awhirl with the possibilities. The hunger whispered in her ear that she had never had so much praise in her life for so little effort. Unable to resist, she added a link on her homepage to the video thinking that it would bring her lots of attention. Who cared if it was negative attention? Her hunger didn't care.
A week later, there was another party with the same cast of characters. She didn't drink anything this time. She wanted to have a clear head when they praised her efforts. Once again she ended up fucking the entire night away. It was her first time to have sex with the woman. It wasn't that she wanted to have sex with the woman, but she couldn't stop herself when Derrick said, "You're so hot I bet you'd melt the camera if you ate out Janet."
There wasn't any disgust or interest in the act of having sex. The sex was meaningless to her. There was only the feeding off of the praise as she licked, sucked, and fucked. She swapped cum with the other girl as the men said, "That is so fucking hot. God, she's fucking incredible."
The video of that episode didn't generate the level of interest achieved by the first one. The hunger roared in outrage; it demanded to be fed. Even shallow compliments were better than none. She paced the room frantic to get more attention. Unable to sit still, she got into her car to drive around in search of something that would fill the void.
Sally stepped into the club driven by her hunger. The emptiness inside her had grown until she felt like her heart had disappeared. The emptiness was dark; it was black; and it was as deep as the Grand Canyon. She didn't understand what made her decide to give the club a try. She only knew there was a restlessness driving her forward.
It was dark everywhere inside the club except for the stage at the front of the room. A bored looking woman moved around on the stage with lackluster motions. Her breasts were overly large for her thin frame. It was obvious that they had been augmented by surgery. They were hard mountains that didn't swing or sway despite how she moved her body.
Sally watched thinking that she could do better of looking sexy than that. Maybe her breasts weren't Double Ds, but they moved naturally. One of the men looked at her with more than a little lust in his eyes. She smiled at the compliment that his expression represented. He said, "You're a hot looking woman. Are you going to start dancing here?"
If there had been any doubts in her mind, that little compliment forced her answer. She said, "Yes."
Twenty minutes later, the men at the club were watching her strut her stuff on the stage. She counted the men seated in the front row. There were nine of them. All of those eyes watching her with desire gave her energy and pushed her to perform even better. There were cheers when she removed her top and allowed her breasts to swing free. She danced with abandon; glorying in their praise.