Chapter 4: Reason

"Where do you want this one?" Luke asked from my bedroom door, carrying another box. My things had arrived, and it seemed like Grandma Alice had packed the entire house. There were boxes stacked all over my room, and I had already decided that I wasn't going to unpack it all because packing it back up later would be a pain in the ass.

"Anywhere," I waved, as I finished unloading another box of clothes into my dresser.

Luke placed the box on a stack of a few others before wiping his brow and heading towards the door again.

"There are three more," he said. "Are you going to need help unpacking this stuff?"

"I'm fine, thanks," I replied.

It had been two days since Luke and I made up. He'd been extremely nice to me since then. I just figured that it was because he still felt guilty. I'd let him off the hook, but that didn't stop him from offering to help me every time that he thought I needed it. I guess that made me lucky, because I definitely needed his help today.

My things had arrived at five in the morning, just before Eddie and Jase left for work. The four of us had managed to get all of the boxes to the basement and then Luke helped me get them to my room, halfway through suggesting that he bring the boxes while I unpack. The two of us got it finished quickly enough on our own, without Eddie and Jase.

The last two days had pretty much been uneventful. The night after Luke and I made up I showed up for breakfast in the morning and stopped hiding in my room. Jase and Eddie commented when they noticed that Luke and I weren't fighting anymore, wondering what changed, but Luke and I just shared a silent smile and didn't tell them. I wasn't about to admit that I locked him outside naked and I doubt that he wanted to admit that it had happened. Eddie and Jase let it go soon enough. I think they were just satisfied that some of the tension was gone.

I was still having trouble with Eddie. He didn't mention what had happened on our outing. I think he had decided to back off and give me some time to adjust, and I was grateful for that. I was even able to be friendly towards him since then, but I had a hard time being alone in the same room as him.

I was afraid that he'd want to talk again, and so far every time that that happened, it had been disastrous. I guess it also helped that he'd been working the last few days, and I'd been spending my time at the house with Luke. We mostly just watched TV, ate and took naps. I figure that every kid should at least spend some part of the summer being lazy. Dealing with all of the boxes was the most work we'd done in the last few days.

At least Grandma had labeled the boxes, so I was able to keep some organization, piling the ones that I didn't plan on unpacking against the wall and the rest in the closet, unpacking anything that I thought I might need as I went.

Luke had just finished bringing in the rest of the boxes when I came across one that wasn't labeled and curiosity prompted me to open it. When I saw what was inside I dropped down onto my knees and stared.

When I'd left, I'd told Grandma Alice that I didn't want to take pictures of my mom. It had been difficult to look at her, which was probably part of the reason why I was so affected at the park with Eddie. Don't get me wrong, I wanted pictures of her, but I had thought that Grandma would just send them later when I asked. In the meantime I had kept a few things that had belonged to my mom, like her scarf. And, among the items that had arrived, I had a bracelet that had belonged to her, a pair of reading glasses, a copy of a children's-stories bedtime book that had been hers when she was younger, and even a half-full bottle of her favorite perfume.

But this box was filled with pictures. I recognized some of them from Alice's house. They were the ones that I'd asked her to take down when I first moved in, mostly of Mom and me. They had been too painful to look at back then. Grandma Alice had been understanding and she took these down, but still left several up. These pictures were still in their frames, piled on top of several photo albums, and on top of all that, was a face-down piece of notebook paper. I lifted it up and found Grandma Alice's handwriting on the other side.

'Dear Rory,

Grow up and share these with your father.

Love,

Grandma Alice

P.S. Don't throw your clothes on the floor. You weren't raised to be a slob.'

I shook my head at the note, smiling to myself. Sometimes it was like I couldn't escape the woman. I looked up when Luke's shadow crossed over me. He was looking curiously down into the box.

"Wow, is that your mom?" he asked, taking a seat on the other side and lifting out an older picture of my mom and me. I was no older than three in it. "She was pretty. And hey, you were kinda cute."

"And I still am," I remarked.

Luke looked up and smirked at me, but his eyes went right back to the picture. I had the urge to take it away from him, not really wanting to share, but the way he was looking at it stopped me. He seemed lost in thought, maybe even sad, which was strange, because I was supposed to be the one who was sad when I saw pictures of my mom.

"Luke? Are you alright?" I asked.

"Huh?" He looked up and then back down at the picture again, before gently placing it back in the box. "Yeah. So do you wanna unpack later? It's kinda hot in here. I was thinking about going for a swim."

"Sure," I said, standing up as I closed the box up. "Just let me change."

Luke nodded and closed the door on his way out and I went to my dresser to grab a recently unpacked pair of swim trunks. It was still a little early, but after unpacking what I already had, I didn't feel as tired as I thought I would have. Actually, after two days I was getting tired of just sitting around the house all day. I definitely didn't mind the idea of going for a swim, and I thought maybe later, if I could get over the heat, I wouldn't mind going for a walk. Anything to just get out would be fine with me.

And I had thought about calling Aaron. Actually, I'd been thinking about it a lot for the last couple of days. But, I'd been putting it off. I definitely wanted to call, and I had no doubt that I would, but Luke and I had been getting along for the last few days, and I wasn't sure how a phone call to Aaron would affect that.

I knew that Luke wouldn't like it, but I wasn't really as concerned about whether or not he would like it. I was concerned that he'd go back to treating me like shit again. I didn't know if I could handle that, not living in the same house as him. With Eddie and Jase at work, and me avoiding Eddie when he was home, Luke had become my one form of constant company.

And I liked Luke, I really did. He wasn't just a pretty face--not that he wasn't that too. But, he was also good company. Maybe I thought that he was trying to be helpful because he still felt guilty, but I found that he didn't really do anything half-assed. Helping me with the boxes was just a good example of that. After Luke and Eddie left for work, I didn't even have to ask Luke for help. He came up with a plan on his own and everything was taken care of. I had no doubt that when he'd asked if I needed help unpacking, he actually meant that he would have stuck around until it was all finished; but just because he was helpful, didn't mean that I wanted to take advantage.

I was starting to feel comfortable with Luke. I was even getting used to the fact that he had no sense of modesty when we were alone in the basement together. I had a feeling that he had been one of those toddlers that took off his diaper and ran around the neighborhood naked when he was young, because the only time he ever seemed to like clothes was when he was leaving the house. He had helped me with all of those boxes wearing nothing but a pair of boxers.

But, I'd noticed something else about Luke. Actually, it was the same thing I'd noticed about everyone in that house. Everyone wanted to know about me. No one seemed to offer personal information about themselves. Okay, admittedly, that could be because I wasn't asking questions. But, I didn't want to ask Eddie questions because that never seemed to go very well. And Jase--well, Jase and I were friendly towards each other but I didn't see any bonding happening between us in the near or distant future. But Luke... I wanted to get to know Luke. Unfortunately, I was afraid to ask him questions. I knew that he was living with Eddie and Jase because his dad was in jail, and when I'd asked him about that, it was obvious that he didn't want to talk about it. So, I wasn't really sure how to ask questions about Luke. I guess in the meantime, I'd settle for just enjoying his company, which I did.

I was kind of nervous about getting in the pool with Luke again, especially after what I did to him the last time. I think part of me was a little worried that he'd seek retribution, but when I reached the pool he was swimming laps. He stopped to smile and wave at me, and seeing that nothing seemed amiss, I scratched Chey behind the ears as she followed me towards the water. I went to the deep end and stepped in.

I sank to the bottom. I always liked starting that way. It was a warm day, already moving up into the high nineties, but I was glad to see that the water seemed cool enough and entirely refreshing as I let it surround me. I didn't close my eyes this time as I settled at the bottom, so I saw Luke when he came towards me. He took up the position right in front of me, crossing his legs and regarding me curiously.

I smiled at him and then we just stared at each other for a few minutes until Luke's face started turning red and he had to go up for air. I joined him a few minutes later and found him sitting up on the diving board, staring down into the water.

"How do you stay down there for so long?" he asked.

"Practice, I guess," I said turning to float on my back. "Is it always so quiet around here, Luke?"

"I guess," he replied. "This is our first summer in this house so... I dunno. My friends used to be closer. I like it though, the quiet."

"I guess it's okay," I admitted.

"Feeling homesick?" Luke asked.

"A little," I admitted. "I guess I'm just used to it--when there's always something going on, you know?"

"So you miss your friends?"

"Them too," I said, nodding. "And my grandma. It's kinda weird. She used to drive me crazy. And after my mom died and I had to move in with her, I didn't think that I could ever think of it as home. But I sort of got comfortable there."

"And then you had to come up here," Luke said. "I guess it couldn't have been easy... but, you know, you could get comfortable here too. Maybe even think of it as home."

"I don't know about that. I mean, it's just a lot, you know? I don't think I'd want to stay here any longer than the summer."

"That's because you're too busy being pissed off at Eddie to enjoy yourself," Luke remarked.

I sank under the water for a second and then came back up and looked at him.

"I can't help it," I stated. "And I don't know what he expected anyway. It's not like I ever needed him before. And he can't just become a father overnight, especially if the kid in question's done just fine without him for the last sixteen years."

"I think you're being too hard on him," Luke said flatly.

"And what would you know about it?"

I watched as Luke stood up on the diving board and then cannonballed into the water. I sunk under the surface again, avoiding the splash and when I came up he was swimming towards me.

"I happen to know that Eddie's had the last six years to learn how to be a father," he informed me. "I was twelve when I moved in with him and Jase, Rory. And maybe he's not my real father, like he is yours. But back then, I needed one and he was it. Jase was always like my big brother, but Eddie... he didn't even know me, and he took me right in."

"How come he didn't know you?" I asked. "Did Jase know you?"

"Well, yeah," Luke said, frowning. "Look, it's complicated, Rory."

I frowned. "People keep saying that."

"Eddie can be a good father," Luke insisted. "You're just not interested in giving him a chance. I mean, you're mad at him for something that wasn't even his fault and if you keep shutting him out..."

"What do you mean it's not his fault?" I cut him off.

Luke stopped and frowned, looking frustrated as he wiped some water away from his face.

"Damn it." He frowned, and then looked me in the eye again. "Look, Rory, I probably shouldn't be saying anything because I promised that I wouldn't, but there's something that Eddie hasn't told you. And I'm not going to say what it is because I promised, but if you want to know why he wasn't there for the last sixteen years, you need to ask him. There's an answer."

"I don't need to hear his excuses," I stated.

"Hey," Luke suddenly grabbed my arm, getting my attention, "it's not an excuse, Rory. Just ask him."

I stared at Luke, definitely curious. He seemed serious. I guess maybe there was something that I should be asking Eddie. But I wasn't sure that I'd have the guts to do it at this point. I definitely didn't want to hear the excuses, and I wasn't sure that I wanted to hear a reason either. Even if it was a good reason. It probably sounds stupid, but I was actually content being mad at Eddie.

In some ways, I felt like as long as I had a reason to be pissed off at him, I didn't have to give Eddie, or being in Arizona, a chance. And I was still too busy being pissed off to want to give it a chance. I think I was also a little scared. I was afraid that if his reason was good enough, then that would mean that I was wrong about him.

The last thing I wanted was to owe Eddie an apology. But despite all that I found myself nodding to Luke. Maybe I would ask Eddie why. I suppose I did deserve an explanation. And I guess maybe Eddie deserved the chance to give me one. I just hoped that the next time we talked I could keep my emotions in check long enough for him to do it.

"Good," Luke said, smiling at me, and then promptly placed both hands on my head and dunked me.

As soon as I was under the water I attacked his ribs with my fingers, tickling him. I never would have guessed that Luke was so ticklish. He went under, curling himself into a ball and then came up sputtering while I laughed.

"You don't play fair," he remarked, and then began to splash me, catching me off guard. I moved onto my back and retaliated by kicking my feet. We continued this for a good five minutes while Chey barked at us, until I sank under the water in defeat, swimming to the other end of the pool to place enough distance between Luke and me to give me enough time to wipe the water from my eyes.

He laughed at me as he reached out and took hold of the edge of the pool for a rest and then looked in my direction again. "Hey," he called, "you wanna go do something today? We can get out of the house."

I smiled; obviously Luke was tired of hanging around there too.

"Where?" I asked.

He shrugged. "I don't know. We haven't had breakfast yet. We can go grab something to eat."

"Alright. When?"

"Soon?" he asked.

"Sure," I replied, lifting myself out of the pool. "Let me just grab a shower first."

"Go ahead and use the one downstairs," Luke replied. "I'll go upstairs."

I nodded. It looked like he was going to swim a few more laps so I went inside to take my shower. I decided to make it quick, going directly into the bathroom and turning on the water before I climbed in and then dropped my trunks.

I moved fast, lathering up and then rinsing off. It didn't really occur to me that I hadn't grabbed my clothes before I stepped out, and there were no towels hanging either. I guess it didn't matter. I had more modesty than Luke, but I definitely wasn't shy. But that didn't mean that I was comfortable walking around a house that I felt like a guest in, completely naked.

I reasoned that Eddie and Jase weren't there, though. And Luke was upstairs, so after brushing the water from my short hair I made my way out of the bathroom and my eyes settled on a closet that looked like it might have towels in it.

Unfortunately, all that was in the closet at the moment were washcloths. But, it was better than nothing so I grabbed one and started to pat myself dry. It was the sudden laughter behind me that caused me to spin around and stupidly hold the flimsy washcloth in front of my groin.

"Here," Luke smirked, tossing me the towel that he'd been using, leaving him as naked as I was.

Now, I wasn't shy, really. But being naked, and being naked with Luke were two very different things. I already knew what effect Luke being naked had on my body. Reminding myself that we were related didn't seem to be helping either. He was definitely attractive, and I was definitely attracted to him, which is why I didn't hesitate to wrap the towel around my waist, liking that it seemed heavy and wet from when he dried off with it.

"Thanks," I mumbled, but when I looked up Luke was staring at me. At least, I think that's what he'd been doing because he lifted his eyes when I looked at him. The whole thing made me feel a little self-conscious. What happened next just freaked me out.

"No problem," Luke said before moving past me. I guess the hall was narrow, but not that narrow. So when he passed and placed his hand on my shoulder, and then I felt a distinct bulge press against my ass for a full moment before he continued on his way, I about jumped out of my own skin.

I think I stood there for a full minute before I shook it off and went to my room. It obviously hadn't meant anything. It was just the narrow hallway, after all. Of course, that didn't change the fact that I was now tenting the towel and would definitely need to jack off before I even considered leaving my room again.

...

It was already ten o'clock in the morning and the scent of food flooding my nostrils made my stomach growl as I walked into the small roadstop diner with Luke. We had driven twenty minutes to get to it, and now I was starving.

"Order the waffles," Luke told me as he ignored the 'Please wait to be seated' sign and headed for a booth in the back. "Strawberry's good, and so is the peach one. Stay away from the blueberry, it's questionable."

I laughed. "Alright."

"And don't order the sausage here," Luke insisted as he slid into the booth and I made myself comfortable across from him. "They have trouble cooking it all the way through. And the bacon's greasy. Really greasy; kinda soggy too. And you definitely don't want the pancakes."

"If the food sucks so bad then why did we come all the way here for it?" I asked.

"For the waffles!" Luke replied, as if it were obvious.