It was Sunday afternoon and I was going to see if any of my mates were hanging down by the river. As I got to the kerbside, I saw Bobby Priest go past in his dad’s car. Ahead of me already crossing the road was a little old lady. Even though I could only see the back of her, I recognised the uniform of The Salvation Army. She looked quite skinny and frail in her black knee length skirt and matching jacket, sheer black nylons covering her thin calves, black low-heeled shoes, topped by a black cap upon her head. Suddenly a car hurtled up the road doing more like 70 instead of 30, an angry red-faced man glaring over the wheel. I knew instinctively that he wasn’t going to slow down; in fact it looked like he was aiming his car towards the old lady. Without thinking, I found myself sprinting across the road, pushing the old lady to the opposite curb just as the car, which was now firmly on the wrong side of the road, clipped the shopping trolley she had been pulling.

The woman looked startled and raised her hand almost as though she was going to hit me. “The car was going to hit you” I explained trying to calm myself down after the sudden exertion and close shave. She probably thought I was a mugger. “This has had it” I said as I righted the trolley and finding that the axle was buckled beyond repair. “I’ll carry it for you” I added. “That’s very kind of you, dear. I live just here” she replied indicating a house just in front of where we were standing. I could now see that she was probably only about 5’3” tall with a small slim wrinkled face, spectacles and short curly grey hair. Her face was a typical old nice granny look, quite pale with a small hooked nose, grey eyes and a medium sized mouth. I thought she looked very smart in her uniform.

I looked up at the sound of screeching brakes to see the car come to a halt further down the road. The red-faced man got out and looked at his front passenger side. “Oi! You’re going pay for that” he yelled in a loud course voice with a strong east-end accent. “Come on. Don’t mind him, he was on the wrong side of the road and speeding” I told her as I carried her ruined shopping trolley up her path towards her door. “Oi! I’m talking to you. Come here!” the belligerent man hollered. “What a horrible man” the woman remarked as she opened the door. “Shall I take this through to the kitchen?” I asked as we entered. “Yes please. You will stay for a cup of tea won’t you, dear? I have some very nice chocolate biscuits that I’ve just brought that we could share” she said. “Yes of course thank you” I found myself saying without thinking. She was a very nice little old lady and reminded me a lot of my gran before she passed away. I could see no harm in spending a few minutes with the old dear; she probably could do with the company as it looked like she lived alone. “Could you just put the kettle on? I’m just going to check on my washing” she told me heading for the back door. “I’ll unpack the trolley for you and leave the stuff on the side for you, if you like” I said. “Thank you, dear” she replied, heading into the garden.

BLAM BLAM BLAM! Someone was pounding on the front door. “Oi! Open up” someone hollered from the other side. Oh no, it was the thug from the car. I kept quiet, hoping he would go away. BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! “Open up now”. BLAMMMM! Suddenly the door flew open. The bastard had just kicked the door open; either that or the old dear had it on the latch. “Right!” he snarled glaring at me with little piggy eyes in a face contorted in rage. I was scared; he was big and ugly with a stubby nose and large mouth. His head was severely shaved to make him look tough. “You’re paying for the damage to my bumper and you’re paying now!” he raged stomping down the hallway towards me. “It’s nothing to do with me. I’m just a passer-by” I cried in alarm backing into the living room. I’m fairly slender and not the athletic type, preferring music and books to football or anything sporty. “I don’t F***g care. You’re giving me my money and you’re giving it to me now!” he yelled. The guy seemed permanently in a bad mood. In horror, I found myself trapped. There was no other way out of the room. “Please. I’ve got no money” I cried. “Then I’m taking it out of your arse!” he yelled and grabbed hold of me. BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! The bastard’s big chubby fists slammed into my face like a hammer smashing up my face getting me all bloody and bruised. BAM! BAM! BAM! The bastard punched me in the stomach then smashed my face some more. I stumbled away in pain; the bastard grabbed a chair and smashed it over my head. “You’re coming with me to an ATM and you’re giving me my money!” he yelled as his fists pounded away at me. BAM! BAM! BAM!

“You leave that poor boy alone, you overgrown gorilla” the little old lady’s voice called out. “Nrrrr!” the thug grunted and turned his snarling face towards her. “You’re the one that damaged my bumper. You pay up or I’ll beat the boy to death” he snarled, his lips curling from his large yellowing teeth. “You’re nothing more than a big bully. You tried to run me over and that boy is a witness. We’ll call the Police and see what they’ll say” she said reaching for a telephone on a side unit. BLAM! The snarling brute swept the phone away, yanking out the cord. “You’re calling nobody. No-one calls the old Bill while I’m around” he snarled looming over the petite woman. “Oww” I cried, my jaw hurting too bad to tell him to leave her alone. “I’ll deal with you in a second, chum” he snarled at me and turned back to physically intimidate the old dear with his size. “You’ve probably got savings stashed away under the mattress. Go get it now” he demanded with menace. Strangely she didn’t seem cowed at all, standing up straight to him.

“You get out of my house right now” she demanded. “Urk!” the hulking brute grabbed the old lady by the throat and started strangling her. I tried to get to my feet to go to her aid. WHACK the old lady’s hands chopped down on the inside of his elbows. WHUMP! There was a blur of motion as the old woman’s skirt lifted and a slim leg shot up burying a foot between the man’s legs with a solid thump. “Orrrrrgh!” the thug slumped forward with the old woman’s foot still in place crushing his nadgers until he let go of her neck to push her leg away. I was totally gob smacked; the feisty old lady had just kicked the big brute hard in the balls. “Argh You’ll pay for that you old bitch” he gasped clutching his groin.

“I’m not frightened of you, you horrible man” she scolded staring at him fiercely through her thick glasses. A sneer appeared on the big man’s lip as he forced himself to stand straight. “Who do you think you are? Trying to knock down people crossing the road then barging into their houses beating up their guests?” she asked with indignation. “Not that it’s any of your business but the name’s Phil Matlock and I’m taking over this manor” he shot back in his horrid raspy voice. Manor? Jeese this wasn’t London but a small town in the Home Counties. This burke thought he was some gangland boss. “And you still owe me that money” he rasped pointing his finger in my direction. “He doesn’t owe you anything. Now get out of my house” the feisty old lady was really courageous showing no sign of fear as she stood up to this thug. I on the other hand was terrified. She even had her fists raised, which would have been comical if the situation wasn’t for real. A petite frail looking grey-haired old woman confronting a big burly moron.

“Yeah, you want some of me do you?” he rasped angrily. My breath caught in my throat as a big chubby fist swung at the old lady’s face. To my astonishment, she ducked lithely beneath his flying fist. “Hai!” the unexpected sound from the old woman’s lips made my groin jump as, crouched, her tiny fist shot forward and punched the big man’s big paunch with a solid thud. “Mmmm” he grunted as she caught him by surprise otherwise unaffected by what sounded like a hard punch. The feisty old lady came up fast, her skirt riding up her skinny nylon clad thigh as she drove a bony knee hard into his gut. “Yah!” THUD THUD THUD “Mmnnnn” the big man creased around the middle as her knee buried itself in his gut three times in quick succession with a solid thud, each time the man folding up a bit more like a collapsing building. “Hai Yah!” my groin lurched again at the shocking sound from a little old lady as her hand slashed down, chopping solidly on the back of the neck. I couldn’t believe my eyes! The big burly thug crashed to the floor at the dainty feet of the frail looking old lady.

“Are you alright dear?” the white-haired woman asked me as I looked at her in awe. She was once more a sweet little old lady when seconds ago she had been beating a big ape of a man, if it weren’t for the prone body on the floor barely clinging to consciousness, I could have sworn that I imagined the whole thing as some side effect to the beating I got. “Oh dear, that looks nasty” she said with concern coming over to take a look at me. I tried to warn her that the moron was still awake, but it hurt too much to open my mouth and grimaced in pain. She gently touched my cheek and I winced. “Oh I’m sorry. He’s probably dislocated your jaw” she told me, looking into my eyes, her eyes magnified by her glasses. “I’ve got some medical bits upstairs in the bathroom that I can use to patch you up” she added. Just then the big ape rose from the carpet, face turning red with anger and glaring at us malevolently. “Mmmm” ow that hurt, I wanted to warn her but couldn’t open my mouth. “You best keep still until I return” she said. I tried to draw her attention with my eyes but she seemed puzzled by my actions. “What is it dear?” she asked soothingly. I tapped on her arm and pointed furiously at the approaching man behind her back. She got the message but it was too late.

“Now I got you, you old hag” Phil snarled as snatched her around the middle and starting crushing the thin old lady in his arms. “You’re pretty lively for your age. You won’t be by the time I’ve crushed your puny little body” he rasped as the old lady writhed in his grasp in obvious pain. I forced myself to stand, intending to help her, not knowing what to do. “You stay there son. I’ll deal with you in a second after I’ve broken your gran” the thug warned.