I suppose that when it comes to wanting to watch your wife with another man my story is pretty much like everyone else's. At least at the start.
For a long time I've had a desire to see my wife make it with another man. My wife is very active during sex, legs flailing and kicking, her body bouncing up and down on the bed, her hands constantly grabbing and clutching at my shoulders and ass. Being as close to the action as I am during the act I've never been able to see how she looks (or how it looks) when it is happening.
There was a time, about five years into our ten year marriage, when we were pretty open and frank with each other concerning our sexual needs, wants and desires. During that period I mentioned to her my desire to observe her with someone else and I got the predictable response:
"You don't love me any more. If you loved me you couldn't possibly ask me to do something like that" and so on.
Things were pretty frosty around our house for several weeks after that, but she eventually got over it and I packed away any idea of ever seeing her with someone else.
But the desire never did go away and every once in a while I'd buy a copy of Penthouse Letters just to read the "Someone's Watching" section. One night about two years ago, I came home from work and found Pam sitting on the couch leafing through the latest issue that I'd brought home. She looked up as I came into the room and held up the magazine:
"You still think about wanting to watch me?"
"Yes, I still do."
"For God's sake why? It isn't like we don't have a great sex life because we do."
I explained to her why I wanted to watch and she said, "Why don't we just get a camcorder and tape ourselves making love?"
I explained that the camcorder would be stationary and only capturing one specific angle and constantly stopping and getting up to reposition the camera would ruin the spontaneity of the act itself.
"No baby, it's just not something that I could do. I wish I could. I'd love to be able to give you what you want, but I'm just not the type of girl who could do that. Besides," she said and then went on to list all the reasons why she didn't think it would be a good idea: Possible emotional entanglements if it was someone we knew, possibility of disease or a bad outcome if we used a stranger, etc., etc., etc.
I'd long ago accepted that it was never going to happen so I just nodded my head as she ticked off her points and then we dropped the subject.
Another six months went by and I began to notice Pam was reading every magazine that I brought home. I almost mentioned something to her about it, but I held back at the last minute. Maybe, I thought I should just step back and let nature take its course and see what happens. Another six months went by during time I began getting other magazines besides Penthouse Letters and leaving them where Pam would find them. She read all of them cover to cover, but still nothing was said between us on the subject.
About four months ago as we were having dinner one night Pam said:
"I need your opinion on something that happened at work today."
Pam is the office manager for the Operations Division of a very large corporation and the Ops Division and the Marketing Division share the same floor at corporation headquarters. The wall separating the two is paper-thin and one day Pam heard the Marketing Manager throwing a temper tantrum and screaming at one of his employees. Since Pam could hear it so could all the customers in the Operations waiting room.
She debated sending a memo to her boss about it, but decided to find out a little more about what happened first. After lunch she called Doug, who was a guy she knew in Marketing, and asked him what had gone on and it turned out that Doug is the one who was being screamed at. He told Pam not to do anything, that he would handle it inside the department.
Two days later Doug called her and asked her to send in a report of the incident. He decided to file a grievance and her report being on file would help. Pam filed a report describing the impact that the tirade had had on Operations customers that day.
"So today Doug came into my office and thanked me for filing the report and told me that his boss had gotten his butt reamed for improper behavior."
"So what do you need my opinion on?"
"Just before he left the office he said, "Thanks babe, you know I love you." What I don't know is what he meant by that. Did it mean that he sees me in a romantic light, that maybe he wants to get to know me better?"
"I would guess that in the context he used it, it was probably just a very strong thank you. Why?"
Pam was silent for a moment and then she said, "Oh, I don't know. If he meant it romantically maybe he could be the one you could watch me with."
My heart skipped a beat and then I asked in what I hoped was a normal tone of voice, "Would you consider Doug?"
Pam hesitated for a couple of heartbeats and then said, "I think he would be all right, but Linda (a girl Pam works with) is thinking of dating him and I wouldn't want to screw it up for her."
"So get to him before he starts dating Linda."
"I don't think it could happen that fast, although Doug seems like a guy who probably wouldn't have a problem with dating Linda and screwing me on the side."
I was silent for several seconds before asking, "Does this mean I may get a special Christmas present?"
"More like a birthday present or an anniversary present I'm thinking."
That was four months and six months away and I said, "I'll settle for that."
Pam gave me a disgusted look and a shake of the head and said, "Of course you would."
A couple of days went by before the subject was mentioned again. Over dinner I casually asked, "How's your campaign to get Doug going?"
Pam gave me an exasperated look and said, "I don't have any campaign going."
"Why not?" I innocently asked.
"Because I wouldn't know how."
"Simple. Go to lunch with him; tell him you have a problem that you need a male perspective on and that he is the only man you know well enough to ask. Swear him to secrecy, tell him about what I want and that you have decided to do it for me, but have no idea at all of how to go about it and ask him for his advice. If he has any balls at all he will tell you straight out to look no farther."
She thought for a minute, "You think that would work?"
"It would for me" I said which was exactly the wrong thing to say.
Pam immediately clouded over and said in a tone of voice that indicated displeasure, "You would make love to another woman? Is that what the fuck this is all about? Get me to spread for another guy so you can say, "You did and now it's my turn?"
"No no no!" I backpedaled, "I only meant that if I were in his position, single and with no strings, and an attractive sexy woman asked me that question I would jump at it."
That mollified her somewhat and she said, "I'm not sure that I can be that forward."
"You'll find a way" I said and dropped the subject. I also vowed that I would never broach the subject again. If she was going to do it she would have to be the one to bring it up.
Two days later she began a conversation that made me sure that she was going to do it.
"Have you really thought this all the way through? Have you considered all the possibilities, and not just the ones that fit your fantasies?"
"Like how you will look at me and feel about me if it turns out that instead of being a turn on you hate it? What if you hate it and I love it and want to keep doing it? What if he's better in bed than you are and I don't want to give him up? What if he turns me on so much that I let him do things to me that you have never done? There are a ton more things that could happen and I just want to know that you are fully aware of what can happen."
"No way any of that can happen lover. We both love each other too deeply."
"I hope so honey, I really do hope so."
The next day she was already home when I got home from work and she had dinner ready and waiting. She had two bottles of a good Merlot, one opened and a glass for each of us already poured, and as I say down I sensed something different. For one thing we rarely had wine with dinner, let alone two bottles. Pam was nervous and fidgety and I sensed that she had something to tell me but when I asked her what was wrong she said:
"Nothing honey, just some problems at work that I need to sort out and work my way through."
"Can I help?"
"No honey, this is something that I have to do on my own."
For the next couple of days she seemed out of sorts and then suddenly things began to settle down and she was back to her own self again.
"I take it that you worked through your problem?"
"Yes honey, yes I did and we need to get up to the bedroom right now,"
I followed her up to the bedroom and Pam did something that she had never done before — she took charge in our having sex. I hadn't expected to make love that night because the next day was Pam's monthly staff meeting and she rarely wanted sex the day before that event. She said sex relaxed her too much and she couldn't keep her mind on business. That night she came to bed and pulled the sheets down to expose my naked body.
"Tonight honey, I want to do something just a little bit different."
She got on the bed and stood over me spread legged so that I was looking up at her pussy.
"Does it look the same honey? Does my pussy look the same?" she asked as she squatted down to bring it closer to my face. "Is it the cunt of a loving wife or that of an unfaithful whore?" she asked as she adjusted herself and sat on my face. "I really do hope that you were serious about your fantasy and that you can handle it honey because the pussy covering your face belongs to another man's slut. Can you taste him honey? It has only been two hours since he was there. I didn't go to work today honey, I called in sick and spent all day in a hotel room with him and we fucked each other senseless. Eat me baby, suck him out of me. Show me you can handle having a slut for a wife."
I guess the best way to describe my state at the time was to call me confused. I had gotten an erection when she stood over me and I looked up at her pussy and it began throbbing as she lowered herself down to my face. But the throbbing stopped when she started talking to me and telling me what she had done. I wasn't turned off by the fact that she had finally been fucked by another man and given me a start toward my seeing her with another man, but no where in my fantasy was there ever a desire to taste another man's sperm. I felt my stomach start to get queasy and I knew what was going to happen. I pushed Pam off me, jumped out of bed and raced for the bathroom. I didn't make it on time. My face was still a foot from the toilet when whatever was in my stomach spewed out onto the bathroom floor.
Pam was sitting up in bed propped up against the headboard when I got back to the bedroom.
"Well that was certainly not the response I expected."
"Damn it Pam, how in the hell could you do that to me?"
"Don't you dare take that tone of voice with me! I did what you wanted. I broke my wedding vows and I let another man use me just so you could have your fantasy and you are going to get cross with me? I don't think so! I asked you if you had considered all the possible consequences and all I got from you was a "Sure, no problem, we love each other." Well it certainly looks like there is a problem doesn't it?"
"My fantasy had nothing to do with eating another man's sperm."
"That's just too damned bad. I brought up the fact that it might change me and you said no way babe. Well it did change me. I fucked Doug for you and somewhere along the way I developed a desire for you to eat my pussy when it had his cum in it. The way it works sweetie is that for you to get what you want, I get what I want. Just be thankful that I showered and cleaned myself up before coming home. If I'd have sat on you with everything that he put in me today you might have choked to death."
"You really did it? What happened?"
"Oh no sweetie, not until you eat my pussy and make me cum."
"Come on Pam, be reasonable."
"Don't give me that! I fucked another man for you and now you can do something for me or kiss your fantasy and me goodbye. I fucked Doug for you and I found out that I like fucking Doug and I'm going to keep on doing it. You get to chose whether or not you get to watch."
"What are you saying Pam?"
"I'm saying I fucked another man, I liked it, and I'm going to do more of it with or without you — your choice."
"What the hell has gotten into you Pam?"
"Doug got into me — at your request! Now are you going to get over here and eat me or not?"
"I don't think so Pam. This belligerent, in your face attitude has killed the mood."
"I knew I shouldn't have done it. I should have known that you couldn't handle it regardless of how much you said you wanted it."
"Bullshit Pam. My cock was harder than it has ever been right up to the point you told me I was tasting another man's cum. And don't give me any of that 'I gave you what you wanted so give me what I want crap'. We talked about what I wanted Pam, we talked about it for years. There was no discussion about what you wanted, you just plop down on my face and say suck him out or fuck off and oh, by the way I'm going to fuck him a lot from now on, with or without you. No Pam, I don't think so. If you had mentioned ahead of time that you wanted me to clean him out of you I would have said 'no way' and the whole fantasy thing would have been over and done with. So no way Pam, no fucking way."
"Your choice" she said, and she rolled over and pulled the sheets up over her. I looked down on her for several seconds and then I left the bedroom and spent the night on the couch.
I got up and put on the coffee when I heard the shower running. I gathered up my clothes, dressed and then left for work without seeing Pam. I really didn't want to talk with her in the short period we would have had before having to leave for work. It wasn't enough time to resolve anything for one thing and for another whatever was said would just be baggage that I would have to carry around with me all day and I had enough of that already. I spent most of the day thinking about Pam's attitude of the previous night and it disturbed me. I knew the dynamics of our relationship would shift a little if she gave me my fantasy, but I was seeing a major personality change here and it wasn't for the better.
Pam wasn't home when I got there and when she wasn't home by six-thirty I cobbled some leftovers together for dinner and then ate. It was eight-thirty and I was sitting on the couch watching MSNBC when Pam came home.
"Late night at the office?"
"No, I was with Doug and lost track of time. I stopped at the liquor store and picked up a chilled Cabernet and I think it might be a good idea to drink about half of it and then have a talk. Actually I need you to listen to what I have to say and then we can take it from there."
I just sat there and contemplated her for about a minute and then I got up and followed her into the kitchen. We sat at the kitchen table, sipped wine and looked at each other in silence for about a half a glass and then Pam said:
"First off, I never wanted to give you your fantasy, but it was obvious from the books you brought home that you were not going to give up the idea. I started reading them to see if maybe they could give me some insight into what you were thinking and why. I admit that some of the stories turned me on and led to some very satisfying nights on our bed, but I was not and never had been the kind of woman who could do something like that. The more of those stories I read the more I saw you get your hopes up that maybe I was thinking of doing it for you. The one thing that seemed to stand out in most of those stories was that the marriage always seemed stronger and the couples love for each other deeper after it had been done.
"I didn't stop to think that the letters might be bogus or just the bullshit fantasies of someone like you who wanted it, but really couldn't get it. No, I took it as the gospel and since I love you more than life itself I began to talk myself into showing you just how much I loved you by giving you your fantasy.
"Do you have any idea of how hard it was for me to force myself to do something so absolutely out of tune with my character — so alien to me? But I love you and I wanted to show you just how much so I started looking for a way to make it happen. Then the situation with Doug arose and I saw it as the opportunity I'd been looking for. He was a nice guy, decent looking and well liked by everyone who knew him. I agonized over it for quite a while and then one day I took the plunge. I did it just like you suggested. We had lunch, I told him my problem and he leapt at it.
"Look no farther lovely lady" he said to me, "I'll be your knight in shining armor."
"Then he contemplated me for a bit and said, "You really really don't want to do this, do you?"
"He saw from the look on my face what the answer was, "But you screwed up the courage to have this lunch with me just so you could get my input. We can't let that courage go to waste."
"He tossed some money on the table, took my hand and from then on he took charge and I went with the flow. He led me next door to the motel and I was surprised how quickly it went from sitting down to lunch to lying down on the motel bed. I won't go into the details, but it was a wild afternoon. Doug is a fantastic lover and he knew all the buttons to push and the added eroticism of the fact that I was being an unfaithful slut just added to it. We didn't go back to work that afternoon.
"When I left that motel room I was so pleased that I actually had been able to do it and I would be able to give you your fantasy, but the closer I got to home the more I worried. What if now that I did it you would look at me like I was a whore? I know you said you wanted it, but what would you think of me now that I had actually done and had enjoyed it? That was the sticky part — that I had enjoyed it so much. I was actually pissed at myself that I hadn't done it sooner. I stopped and bought some wine for dinner, but when it was time for me to tell you I chickened out. I just couldn't tell you. That was the night I told you that I had some things I needed to work through.
"The next day Doug asked me when we were going to do it while you watched and I confessed that I hadn't told you. When he asked me why I told him and he told me that I just needed more confidence in myself and suggested that we have lunch again. We did and ended up in the same motel room and again I left eager to come home and tell you and still yet again I lost my nerve. The next day Doug and I talked again. We didn't go to the motel, but we did make arrangements to take the next day off and meet at a hotel. We spent the entire day having sex and I loved every minute of it. I left that hotel bound and determined to tell you what was happening and as you know the evening was a disaster. Granted, I did come on a little strong, but did you expect that I could go out and do something so completely against my nature and not be changed by it?