Chapter 11

The next day Cassi called Linda and ask if they could talk. She thought about moving back in with her former companion but Leonora's aura was keeping her on a short leash and there were other issues to consider. Linda agreed and invited Cassi to the apartment that evening after work. Cassi seemed to simply be going through the motions at work and Larry twice asked if everything was all right. She reassured him it was, but, in reality, Cassi was a very troubled woman.

She wanted desperately to reject Leonora and vampirism, but seemed helpless. Each day her reluctance seemed to weaken and the thoughts of becoming a vampire queen with all the power that implied became more attractive. She told herself that when she became queen she would change the traditions. Of course feeding would have to continue for the vampires to survive but it was not necessary to kill and she wanted them all to change, learn to exist with humans. Maybe they would need to keep their existence secret but by feeding, wiping the memory of and releasing their victims, a symbiotic relationship could be established. True symbiotic relationships implied a benefit to both parties and it was the vampires who were gaining the most but at least the killing could be stopped. Her thoughts turned in another direction and she wondered if she was fooling herself, if she, a single queen among many could possibly bring about such radical change.

She was, at the moment, most concerned with Linda. Linda had been her lover and friend and Cassi wanted more than anything else to see that she was not harmed from all this. Cassi was aware that their relationship could not continue as before. Perhaps it would be best if she simply broke it off altogether and gave her former lover a chance to make a new life for herself. Yet she knew what they had meant to each other. Perhaps, she thought, she could make Linda a vampire queen as well and they could rule the brood together. Sadly she realized that could never be as queens could only displace other queens. She also considered the possibility of, with Linda's permission, turning Linda into a pawn (how she hated that word). That too she rejected however, as it meant controlling her lover and that was exactly the opposite of what each of them wanted. She dare not keep Linda as a human lover for several reasons, among them the fact that other queens might threaten Linda as a means to subvert Cassi's power. Sadly, she decided that the only real solution was to end her relationship with Linda.

As Linda opened the door she saw the troubled look on Cassi's face.

"Cassi, what is it? Where have you been?"

"I... I had to get away, think things through."

"What things. I thought we were happy together."

"We were. There were other considerations."

"What considerations?" asked Linda as they entered the front room and sat down. She poured them each a drink.

"I... I can't tell you. I'm sworn to secrecy."

"And this secrecy is more important than our relationship?"

"No... but it is necessary."

"Well, if I can't be trusted..." said Linda, the hurt evident in her voice.

"It's not that. It's just that in the last few weeks so much has changed. I've changed."

"In what way?"

"I... just can't bring myself to..."

"Then I guess we have nothing more to talk about."

"I came here to explain why I can't see you any more."

"But you've done nothing but tell me everything is secret."

"I know. I want to tell you."

"Look, Cassi. What we had was great. You've always been able to tell me anything. Now suddenly..."

Cassi was torn. She wanted desperately to tell her friend everything, to share these dreadful secrets, to unburden herself.

"Linda these are horrible secrets. Unbelievable secrets."

"All the more reason why you need to share them, let me take some of that burden from you."

"But..."

"I'm here for you Cassi."

And so, slowly, hesitatingly, Cassi began to share her terrible secrets. She began with the Fleming murder and brought Linda up to date with everything which had transpired since. She saw the look of shock on Linda's face as she described the killing of the teen, yet as she also related the power she felt over Amy that day in the precinct and the power of the queens in general, Linda seemed intrigued rather than repulsed.

"And you... you've grown a... a... ?"

"Yes."

"And you still have a..."

"Yes, I guess the medical term to describe me now would be hermaphrodite. I have a vagina and a penis."

"And you're..."

"Carrying Leonora's child. Don't you see Linda, she has this grip on me and slowly I'm turning into one of them. If I pass this trial by council she keeps talking about I'll become a queen myself."

"With no place for me."

"I wish there were, but the queens are extremely jealous of each other. They think nothing of using any means possible to hurt each other or threaten each other's sovereignty. Your life would be in danger every moment. They would use you to try to get to me. I can't allow that."