Special thanks to JackO for editing my story.
Mary and I have been married for 25 years now; both of us are 46 years old. She was my first love, starting in high school, through college and getting married after graduation.
We had 3 wonderful children? Jonathan (Jon), 23 years old, who had graduated from college a year ago and was now a successful architect working in a large architects company in our town. Suzy, 20, in her third year of college studying American history, and our youngest, Ginny, 18, on her last summer vacation before going to college to study nursing.
Mary was a lawyer with a good carrier, and had a law office with one partner - Joyce Hellmann, who was also her closest friend ever since college.
My life with Mary was wonderful. In spite of our careers (I owned a construction company) we had time for each other and raising the kids was not a chore but something we both enjoyed a lot. Our sex life remained almost as it was when we were young. We had sex about three times a week, always slow and long, always ending with 3-4 orgasms for her and 2 for me.
In the last 6 months though, the magic seemed to gradually disappear. Mary started to come home later and later, our conversations became shorter and many times seemed to be irritating her. Our sex went down from 3 times a week to once a week, then to once in two weeks and then gradually stopped. It was not because of me - Mary started being tired, had quite a few head aches and many times just begged off, saying: 'I'm not in the mood'.
She also started going out of town - to meetings, to conferences, and once even to a week vacation she felt she wanted to have alone.
I tried to ask a few times what was wrong and what was happening to us, but her answers were curt and irritated.
"Haven't you heard of menopause?"
"I need time to relax alone."
Once, there was a hint that should have lit all the red bulbs in my head - she started asking for my opinion about people we knew who practiced 'open marriage', and I answered that not everything that was good for others was also good for me, and that while not criticizing them I felt that I could not do such a thing. I could not even imagine my own wife having sex with someone else. The thought was revolting.
Slowly there came signs that awakened my suspicions.
A few times her secretary, with obvious discomfort, 'did not know where Mary was'.
Opening the mail I found her credit card invoice which included charges for hotels in our own town and in the next town.
Then came the crash. She had told me in which hotel she was going to be for a conference. I needed to ask her something about Ginny's schedule and called her. I called the number and...
"Hilton Hotel, may I help you?"
"Mrs. Mary Hanson, please."
"Right away, sir."
The next voice on the phone confirmed my suspicions. It was an angry male's voice.
"I told the switchboard not to disturb us. Who is it?"
Dumbfounded, I simply hung up.
I went out to the patio with a drink and a pack of cigarettes. I've more or less quit smoking in the last 3 months, but now I needed it? both the drink and the cigarettes.
Sitting there, I recalled the past months. The decreasing affection, the ending of sex, and of course all the signals that should have showed me long ago that my wife has been cheating on me. Without even noticing, tears started running down on my cheeks and I was quietly sobbing.
I somehow fell asleep on the patio chair, and only woke up late at night when Mary arrived home.
She noticed immediately that something was wrong. The traces of the tears were still on my face.
She looked at me for a long time, waiting for me to say something, and when I didn't say a word, she said quietly:
"You've finally found out, haven't you?"
"Since when have you been cheating on me?"
She shrugged. "Does it really matter? I hinted to you that I find 'open marriage' intriguing and you turned the idea down. So I've decided to open our marriage anyway. It's your loss that you haven't agreed to do it with me."
"Opened our marriage? I thought you were smart enough to know at least the meaning of the word! An open marriage is something based on an agreement, and usually the people involved share their experiences! No, what you did was plain cheating! You've become a slut, haven't you? And is it only the open marriage? Where has our love of 25 years gone? Where has the last trace of affection gone? Is sex with others so good that you had to shut me out completely? Was I so bad in bed after it had been good for 25 years?"
"Sex with others is fun. But it also made me feel guilty and I just couldn't be with them and with you at the same time. You see, I do love you, but now that I've started enjoying others, I just can't stop. I'm hooked. Please open your side too and enjoy the variety of women who like it that way. I know at least 3 women who openly said that they want you in their bed."
"So you've even discussed it with others, knowing that I'm against it, and now you admit you like it so much that I'm not even needed in your life any more."
"George, I am part of a swinging and swapping community now, and among the obvious things we also discuss our problems. I'm not the only person there whose spouse objects to this lifestyle, and we share the problems and the possible solutions. Please think with an open mind and join us, George. There is so much fun to be had."
"You've been cheating on me for several months now, I'd guess about 6 months, and all you have to say is 'join us'? I haven't had the time to think about our future, Mary, but from now on - as if it changes anything for you - you are my wife on paper only. Enjoy yourself."
I went upstairs and moved all my clothes and stuff to Jon's room. I wasn't going to even sleep next to her any more.
I was thinking of divorcing her; but what kept me from doing it was our old pre-nup agreement (whoever asks for a divorce is leaving empty handed) and the fact that the house was hers by inheritance.
She tried to talk me into the swinging life style almost every evening (when she was home) and cried a lot claiming that she loved me, but I wouldn't even talk to her. Being at home, and mainly when she was home too, has become a torture for me. I loved her. You don't just switch off feelings of 27 years. But what she had done to me was painful and humiliating. It wasn't just one night or two that I've cried myself to sleep.
One evening when, as usual, I was alone at home, there was a knock on the door. It was Joyce, Mary's friend and partner. I told her Mary was out to which she replied:
"I know she is out, and I know where and with whom. George, listen. She got into the lifestyle by mistake, but now she can't stop it. She is devastated by your reaction because it's clear to her that she is losing you. George, this is just sex, and it's wonderful. Having a variety of partners is just great. Why can't you see it our way and join us?"
To continue her argument, she put her arms around my neck, hugged me tight, and kissed me hard on my lips, her tongue sliding right into my mouth.
"I've wanted you for ages, George. Please make love to me. According to Mary you are so good, and listening to her descriptions over the years has made me so hot for you! Please take me to bed! Now, George."
I disentangled from her arms by using force and slapped her face hard.
"Get the fuck out of my house, slut! Don't ever let me see you again!"
She left, and I remained angry like hell. I took a bottle of scotch and for the first time in my life decided to get drunk.
That was the way Ginny found me when she arrived home late at night.
She woke me up, helped me to my bedroom (she knew which one I'd used) put me on the bed, undressed me down to my underwear and tucked me in.
In the morning, when I had a terrible head ache, she gave me a few Aspirins, filled me up with tomato juice and coffee and waited until my head ache subsided and I was partly human again, then she fed me a large breakfast.
After that, we sat out on the patio, me with my cigarettes and her.
"How long has Mom been cheating on you, Dad?"
"How do you know that, Ginny?"
"I sat next to you most of the night, Dad, and you talked and cried quite a lot in your sleep."
Ginny was 18, 3 months going on 19, and yet I felt at ease enough and with tears streaming down on my face told her everything. About her mother's one sided opening of our marriage, about her getting hooked on sex with others while cutting me off, up to the moment of Joyce trying to seduce me the previous evening.
"Have you known anything about this, Ginny?"
"It was quite obvious that things are not OK with you and Mom, and your moving to Jon's bedroom clinched it. Knowing that mother is absent from home a lot in the past few months just brought on the right conclusion. I also saw Mom twice in bars in town with a group of people that did not include you. Why don't you just divorce her? I love my mother, but seeing you like this is worse than hell. You can't keep living with her."
I told her about the pre-nup and about the house belonging to Mary, and finished by saying that if I asked for a divorce I won't be losing only the woman I've loved for 25 years but also I'd lose every possession I accumulated during that time.
.... There is more of this story ...