With thanks to the founding fathers and the U.S. Constitution
What really sealed it was the conversation I overheard in my kitchen. The house was packed with people. I just sold the place and was moving to a condo. Consequently my son had to move out. He sure as fuck wasn't coming to live with me... Unless he let me fuck his girl friend a couple of times a day. And I didn't think that was going to happen... Not that I didn't think I couldn't fuck her. I was pretty sure I could. She was a real flirt.
Anyway, we were having a "going away" party... Although neither of us is moving very far away. My son was talking with a group of people. Three were friends of mine... In their fifties, married for many years. There were a couple of young people, too. Anyway, he and one of the old guys were gabbing about my well being... As if I couldn't exist by myself. My son just finished stating that maybe "they" ought to inform the brothels, over in Nye county, that I was a widower now.
His mother had just passed away... Less than six months ago... My mate of thirty years or so. He was twenty-two and still finding his way. I was leaning forward. My mate and I had discussed her demise. I remember gently asking how long I should wait...
"Well, I might like to start dating?!"
"Jesus, Bob! Get your shit together, man. I'll be dead. What the fuck do I care!" We never discussed it again. I quit work shortly after she passed on and bought the condo a month later with her life insurance money. The house was a quick sale and now I was standing at one end of my kitchen listening to a group of people talking about me at the other end.
"Yea! I'll call all the escort services in town!" My son and friend burst into laughter. The people around them joined in. I put my beer down on the kitchen counter and wandered back into the den. It was full of my son's friends; watching two kids playing a video game on the TV. The stereo was blasting something I didn't waste time trying to comprehend.
I avoided the front room as that's where all my friend's spouses were gossiping about this and that. Not that I wouldn't mind balling about half of them. Instead I wandered out on to the back patio. There, I found another group of my son's friends passing around a pipe on the other side of the pool. I sauntered over toward them and watched as they tried to conceal the smoldering pipe.
"Aaah... If I had my cell phone, I'd be speed dialing the heat right now. I must have misplaced it." The look on their faces was priceless. I burst out laughing. "Just joking! Fire up that pipe. It's been thirty years or so since I got zoned." The kids looked puzzled.
I took the pipe out of some young guy's hand and flipped open my Zippo to fire it up. The pipe was glass and looked pretty cool, full of grass and no longer smoldering. Another guy says, "Aaahh... Use the butane one, man... Less shit for your lungs to get fucked up on." Several heads bobbed up and down. A young lady was holding out her lighter. I took it and blasted off into the universe.
I should have never quit. Some conversation was going on in front of me but I was hardly paying attention. I was holding out the lighter. Nobody seemed to want it back so I stuck it in my pocket.
A while later my son asked me where I got the lighter? I couldn't remember? He accused me of being stoned. I started laughing and wandered into the front room.
Time to start phase one... And I'd already gotten a line on phase two. I was elated. The object of my desire... More likely lust, was one Carolyn Drake. Known her for years, always joking with each other with lots of sexual innuendo involved. She was talking with another woman, who I wouldn't mind fucking either, but Carolyn was number one on my list. And I did have a list... Oh! Not written down... I'm not that stupid... But in my mind, I had one. I moved up behind her and looked over her shoulder.
Carolyn Drake had a superior bosom. Huge pillows of breast meat adorned her chest and on such a small woman. My wife said she was five three or four but I didn't think she was that tall. I always imagined being able to tit fuck her standing up. I'd love to try.
Carolyn looked up at me. "You pervert! Want a better view?"
"Love one, honey. Just name the time and place." She laughed. Not ten minutes earlier I over heard her husband saying he was going to be out of town all week. I'd have to see if Carolyn was lonely? I left the two women and wandered back out on to the patio. I wanted more dope. I wanted to return the lighter to the young lady...
The door bell to my brand new condo rang. The first of many I hoped as I wandered to the door. She's right on time... About thirty minutes late. Just wants a short tour... Doesn't want to stay long... Doesn't want to give me her purse.
"Then why did you come?"
"Wasn't sure of what?"
"Oh! You know..."
"There's the door. I'm going to have a drink." It was three-thirty. I called it a late lunch or maybe a supper. She agreed to come on the phone and now had cold feet. She knew I wanted to fuck her and I knew she was interested. She followed me into the kitchen about five seconds later and tried to talk above the blender noise.
.... There is more of this story ...