My head hurt, my stomach was roiling and my wife was screaming at me:
"You bastard! You rotten cock sucking bastard! How could you do this to me? One day, I'm gone one fucking day and leave you here alone and you do this to me."
I had no idea what she was ranting about, all I knew is that I had to get to the toilet. I barely made it. After praying at the Porcelain Throne I rinsed my mouth out with mouthwash, took three aspirin and then stumbled back into the bedroom to see what the hell had Mary in such an uproar. She was packing a suitcase.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"Why? What the hell is going on?"
"Don't play the innocent with me asshole."
"I've just gotten up Mary; I'm not fully awake, I have one hell of a headache and a hangover and I'm not really up to speed here. What is going on?"
"Look at your shorts stud. That isn't my lipstick near your fly and those aren't my panties and bra on the floor next to the bed."
I looked down at my boxers and saw a slash of red, buy I had no idea how it got there. "I don't know what is going on here Mary, but I'm sure that it isn't what you are thinking."
"Fuck you Frank, I'm not buying it."
She snapped the bag shut and headed for the door.
"Where are you going?"
"Away from here Frank, away from here."
I stared at her back as she walked out and wondered what the hell had happened.
The party had been scheduled for three weeks and on Saturday, the day of the party, Mary's mother had slipped and fallen getting out of the bathtub, had hit her head and had been rushed to the hospital. Mary got the call from her father and he indicated that her mom was in a very bad way. It was too late for us to get in touch with people and cancel the party so Mary told me to stay and she would make the five hour drive and be back in a day or two.
The party went off on time and while everybody missed Mary they had a good time. We had hardwood floors so the dining room furniture had been moved out to the garage to create a dance floor and as host I did dance with most of the women there. Some of them got 'flirty' when they got a few drinks in them and I did have a few sets of tits rubbed into my chest and a shapely leg or two pushed into my crotch which did produce an erection.
I drank more than what was good for me and I didn't even remember going to bed, let alone going to bed with another woman. I didn't believe that I had. For one thing, I loved Mary and I had never cheated on her and for another all the women at the party had come as part of a couple. There were none who came as singles. I was good friends with all of the guys and there was no way that I would have made a pass at any of their women. But I couldn't explain the lipstick on my underwear or the bra and panties on the floor. I couldn't remember a damned thing.
I picked up the bra and looked at it. The little tag sewn into the sidepiece in the back told me that the size was 38DD and that pretty much told me whose bra it was. Mary Ellen McPhearson was the only one at the party with a rack like that, but that made no sense at all. Mary Ellen and Todd had only been married a week; there was no way on God's green Earth that Mary Ellen would have been in bed with me. Hell, Todd was so proud of her he was never more than two steps from her side and the 'lovey dovey' way the two of them behaved around each other was enough to make you sick to your stomach.
I made a pot of coffee and after I got two cups of the black stuff in me I tried to call Todd and Mary Ellen. I got no answer and just as I was hanging up I remembered that after the party they were leaving to go on a belated two-week honeymoon. I spent the rest of Sunday trying to track down where Mary had gone with no luck. Her friends either didn't know or were not going to tell me. I doubted that she would go to her mother's or sister's because it would be too far for her to be able to drive to work. On the off chance however, I did call her sister and her mother. Neither had heard from her, or so they said. I decided that I would just have to wait and get to her at her place of work on Monday.
Monday I called Mary at work just before I started my shift, but she wasn't in yet. I called again at my ten o'clock break, but her extension was busy and after being on hold for almost eight minutes I had to hang up and get back on the job. At lunch time the receptionist told me that I'd just missed her, but that she would be back from lunch in about an hour. I left a message asking Mary to call me. I tried again at three-fifteen and finally got through to her.
"What do you want Frank?"
"We need to talk Mary. We need to sit down and talk. I know what you think, but I fou..." and Mary interrupted me.
"I don't have anything to say to you Frank and I've no interest in what you might want to say to me" and she hung up on me.
I left work early and drove over to where she worked, but when I got there I found that she'd just left. I went home and got on the phone and called every one that was at the party on Saturday to see if I could find out what happened. I'd had too much to drink to remember. Nobody knew a thing. Most just remembered me being the life of the party and from what they told me I must have done everything except wear a lampshade on my head. By the time I went to bed there were only three people I hadn't gotten in touch with: Todd and Mary Ellen and my best friend Bill Moser. Todd and Mary Ellen were on their honeymoon and Bill wasn't answering his cell or his home phone. I spent a miserable evening wondering where Mary was and how to get a hold of her and I didn't sleep for beans that night.
I got up early and I was sitting in the parking lot waiting for Mary when she came to work. I got out of my pickup and walked toward her as she started walking toward the front door. She saw me and started walking faster to get inside before I could get to her.
"Damn it Mary we need to talk" I shouted to her. She turned and stopped and waited for me to get to her and then before I could say a word she said:
"Listen to me Frank because I'm only going to say this once and you know me well enough to know that I mean what I say. Stop calling me, stop trying to find me, stop waiting for me in parking lots or I will get a restraining order against you and then call the cops every time you bother me. I have nothing to say to you and I don't want to hear whatever lie you want to tell me. Now leave me the fuck alone!"
She turned and walked into the building. I got in my truck and left for work and as I drove I got more and more steamed. I hadn't done anything. I knew I hadn't done anything. All Mary had was a suspicion and she was treating me like she was without even trying to find out what happened? Well fuck her! I didn't need that kind of shit. If she didn't know me any better than that she could just eat shit and die for all I cared. She wanted to be that way, let her. I didn't need the dumb cunt!
I spent the rest of the day at work in a foul mood. I had cooled down a little by the time I got home and after fixing myself some dinner I tried calling Bill a half dozen more times, but still got no answer. By the time I went to bed my mood was black again. To hell with Mary! I didn't need someone in my life who treated me like she was. After five years of marriage if she didn't know me any better than she seemed to I would be better off without her. Yeah, right! Who was I kidding? I missed her, Jesus did I miss her. I'd just have to wait for her to get over her mad and call me.
The next week and a half went by without Mary calling me and then on Friday night the doorbell rang and I answered it to find Bill standing there.
"The grapevine tells me that you need some cheering up. I have come to drag you down to Barney's where we will get shit faced."
I asked him where in the hell had he been and he told me that he had been out of town on business and that he'd lost his cell phone. Over a beer at Barney's I asked how he knew I was down in the dumps.
"When I got back last night I stopped at Halloran's for a beer and I saw Mary with Tony Conners. Sally Bailey was there and I asked her what was up and she told me that you and Mary had split up."
"Mary was with Tony? Doing what?"
"Drinking and dancing."
"What kind of dancing?"
"Close and dirty. What the hell happened between you two?"
I told him about Mary coming home early, what she'd found and how she had reacted. Bill's face turned pale and he said, "Oh fuck."
"She wasn't supposed to see that."
"You know what happened?"
"It was a joke on you. You were supposed to wake up, find the panties and bra, see the lipstick and then wonder what the hell had happened. Mary wasn't supposed to see it. You told us she wouldn't be back until late Sunday night at the earliest."
"What did you do?"
"You were drunk on your ass and me Todd and Mary Ellen were the last ones to leave the party so Todd and I put you to bed. Mary Ellen started giggling and she took off her panties and dropped them on the floor and said, "Let him wonder about that when he wakes up." Todd told her to toss down her bra too."
"What about the lipstick?"
"That was Mary Ellen's idea too."
I chugged down my beer and got up. "Come on, we have to find Mary and tell her what happened. She isn't talking to me, but maybe she will listen to you."
.... There is more of this story ...