Garage Sales

by KK

Tags: Cheating,

Desc: Fan Fiction Story: Husband and wife accuse each other of cheating. There are no sex scenes in this story.



Author's Note: Once again I want to thank Techsan for proofing this story for me. While fitting in the Loving Wives genre this story, however, does not contain any descriptions of sex scenes. I look forward to your comments.

I don't know what it is about garage sales but they seem to have a calming influence on me. It's not as though I am out looking for bargains and I don't go out looking for antiques. I am not sure that I would recognize an authentic antique if saw one anyway; I just like rummaging through old tools and household items. I like to browse and occasionally buy something that interests me. When I am feeling stressed out or angry, I find that getting up early on Saturday morning and going to a few garage sales helps me unwind and that is what I was trying to do on that particular Saturday morning.

By 8:30 that morning, I was already at my third sale of the day. It was a multi-family sale with lots of interesting stuff. They had old record albums, eight track tapes, car parts, furniture and lots of old tools and household gadgets. Next to the driveway, behind a stack of old lampshades, I had discovered a box full of odds and ends with a price tag for two dollars for the whole box. I was sifting through the contents and came across several interesting if not valuable items. There was an old tobacco can full of marbles, three old pulleys, a vacuum cleaner motor, a spool of wire, a broken Dick Tracy cap gun, a jack knife, a couple of sheets of decals of some kind and several other items. I had just pulled out one of the sheets of decals when I heard someone ask me, "Find something interesting?"

I turned to find a young man dressed in torn jeans and a faded Alan Jackson tee shirt standing next to me. Using my superior negotiating skills, I said, "Would you take $1.50 for this box?"

"Yeah, sure."

I was interested in the box because I thought I might have a use for the vacuum cleaner motor and I just wanted the marbles. I also thought that I might have a use for the spool of wire. I figured I would just throw the rest of the stuff out. I held up the sheet of decals that had been in the box and asked, "What do you use these for?"

The young man pointed to the back of his Ford 350 pick up truck parked next to the garage. At first glance, it looked as if there were several bullet holes in the tailgate and a couple more in the rear window. It took a few seconds before I realized that he was showing me that the bullet holes were actually decals that had come from the sheet I was holding. I wondered why anyone would want their truck to look like it had bullet holes in it.

I paid the guy for the box and carried it over to my car. As I dropped the box in the trunk, my thoughts flashed back to the reason that I was so agitated that morning.

Things had been a little strained between my wife Dee and myself for a while. It had started six weeks earlier when I stopped at Cody's Tap Room for drinks with friends from work. My friends and I stop for drinks about once a month and I would normally call Dee and tell her that I'd be home late but for some reason I forgot to call that night.

I used to ask Dee to join us but she doesn't like going to Cody's. It's kind of a dump and it is located in a bad neighborhood. I liked it when Dee came with me because she kept me out of trouble. I have a tendency to drink more than I should when I am out with my friends. I usually end up having to take a taxi home and often in the morning I can't remember how I got home.

That Friday night was a typical night at Cody's for me. I got so drunk that I had to take a cab home at 1:00 AM and Dee was pissed. It wasn't bad enough that I had forgotten to call her, I was so hung over most of Saturday morning that I didn't accomplish any of my normal chores and when Dee asked me what I had done the night before I couldn't remember much past ten o'clock. Dee let me know that she was getting tired of my coming home so drunk after going out with my friends. I wasn't too worried though; I knew that by Sunday everything would be back to normal.

That night we went to a party that was attended by several of the guys I had been out drinking with the night before. They all seemed to think it was funny that I got so drunk that I couldn't remember a lot of what went on that night so they began to tease me by making innuendos that I might have done something improper with Kate, one of the barmaids at Cody's Tap Room. Kate is a hot looking blond with big breasts and a great ass but she didn't have much else going for her. I knew that drunk or sober I would never make a play for Kate.

Kate was nice to look at but she didn't interest me in any other way and besides, I loved Dee too much to risk my marriage for a few minutes of illicit sex. Even though I didn't remember much, I knew that I would never have done what they were hinting at so I just laughed at their silly jokes. The problem was that Dee didn't know they were joking. None of the guys was stupid enough to say anything to me in front of Dee but she overheard some of the things they said. She heard Jack Stone say that he saw me follow the barmaid into the lady's room around midnight and that we didn't come out for at least twenty minutes.

Apparently Dee stewed over this for a couple of days before she confronted me. She actually accused me of having sex with Kate. Nothing I could say would convince her otherwise. I had Jack Stone call Dee and explain that it was just a joke but she didn't believe him. The fact that I had already told Dee that I couldn't remember much about that night didn't help in my defense.

I decided that I would have to wait till Dee calmed down a little and then try to talk this out with her. I was sure that in time she would realize that Jack and the other guys were just joking with me. Well, she didn't calm down.


I am a buyer for a chain of sporting goods stores so I often get different items of sporting equipment "to sample." These are supposedly given to me to help me with my buying decisions. I always have several baseball bats and gloves, sets of golf clubs and some sports apparel stored in my garage. There is too much stuff for me to use but I can't sell because it would be unethical for me to profit from these gifts. So, when the garage is full I usually donate a lot of the stuff to local schools or colleges. This makes the recipients happy and keeps me out of trouble.

One night at dinner Dee started talking to me about one of her girlfriends at work. I was so happy that she was talking to me about something other that my supposed dalliance that I listen to her with great interest.

"My friend, Sharon, was telling me that her son wants to try out for the golf team at school but he doesn't have a set of clubs of his own to use. Sharon is a single mother and just can't afford to buy him a good set of clubs," Dee said.

"Have they tried our store?" I said, "We do sell a lot of second hand equipment. They might be able to find something he likes."

"She said they haven't had any luck finding anything in their price range."

"What's their price range?"

"Two hundred dollars."

"Good luck finding anything in that price range," I said.

"I was just thinking, couldn't you sell them a set of the clubs you have in the garage? You usually just give them away."

I guess I should have seen that coming. Dee never really understood why I wouldn't sell the stuff my vendors gave me. I felt it was unethical to accept these items and then turn around and sell them. That's why I always donated them to a school. But Dee was presenting me with a chance to get back on her good side so I took it.

"I can't sell the clubs to her but I'll let you give them to her and say that we are donating them to a worthy cause. Just make it clear to your friend that she can never tell anyone where she got the clubs."

Dee actually got out of her chair and came over and kissed me on the cheek.

"Thanks, honey," is all she said and then left the room.

After dinner, I went out to the garage to see what I had. I had five different sets of Calloway clubs but I had already promised to give those to the golf coach at the local college. The only other set I had was a full set of Taylor Made clubs with a bag. The bag was a special addition copy of the American Ryder Cup team's bag. The clubs and bag were worth more than $1500. I thought that was a bit much to give this kid but I didn't have any other sets available. I could probably get another set of clubs if this kid was willing to wait another week. Then I figured, 'what the hell?' I wasn't going to use them. I would just store them in the garage and eventually give them to one of the schools on my list so I decided to let Dee give the clubs to her friend's son.

I put the clubs into the trunk of Dee's car and went back into the house where I found Dee watching television.

"I put a set clubs in your trunk. You can give them to your friend tomorrow."

"I hope you aren't just pawning off some junk on him," she said.

I didn't like the tone of her comment.

"It happens to be a top of the line set of clubs but, if you are going to take that attitude with me, I might just as well keep them for myself."

"I'm sorry, honey, I didn't mean it to sound that way. I was just hoping that you could give him something nice. Something he can be proud of."

"Believe me, this kid will wet his pants when he see these clubs."

Dee smiled at me and said thanks. There was no more conversation after that but it was the first night since my night out with the guys that we didn't get into an argument over my supposed behavior that night.

After that night, things seemed to be getting better between us. By Friday night, I felt that we might even get back to having sex. After that, I planned to do whatever was necessary to convince Dee that I had never had sex with the barmaid at Cody's.

At 5:30 that Friday afternoon, I was getting ready to go home and thought that maybe I could get Dee to go out to dinner with me so I called her office. After seven rings, her phone was answered by a woman's voice that I didn't recognize.

"Diane Wilson's phone. Can I help you?"

"Is Diane around?"

"No, you just missed her. She just left with a group from the office to go over to the Brass Rail for drinks."

I thanked her and hung up.

I found that unusual. I couldn't remember a time that Dee went out for drinks with her work associates that she didn't call me and tell me to join them. I had been to so many of their gatherings at the Brass Rail some of her associates thought I was another employee of their company.

I double-checked my office phone and then my cell phone to make sure I didn't miss a message from her but there were no messages. I decided that it must have been an oversight on her part and that she would probably expect me to be there and, even if she didn't, I was going to be there anyway.

The Brass Rail is actually closer to my office than Dee's so I got there before she and her group and I was sitting at the bar with a beer when she and her friends walked in. Dee saw me immediately and walked straight over to me. I wondered if she even realized that she forgotten to call me. I was about to find out.

"What are you doing here?" Dee asked.

I couldn't believe it. She didn't want me there.

"I just stopped in for a beer," I said.

"Did I call you and tell you to join us here?"

"No."

"Then why would you think I wanted you to come here tonight? I let you go out with your friends and I didn't interfere so why can't you give me the same courtesy?"

I couldn't believe the way she was acting. I was ready to rip into her when I noticed that all of her friends were watching us. I decided to back off and deal with her later.

"I didn't come here to ruin your evening," I said. "I didn't even know you were coming here tonight. I just stopped for a beer on my way home. I was as surprised to see you here as you were to see me. Go ahead and join your friends. I'll sit here and finish my drink and go home."

I watched Dee and her friends go into the back room while I sat at the bar doing a slow burn. I was so angry that my hand was shaking. I needed to calm down so I did what I always do to calm myself, I ordered a double bourbon. I had finished my second double bourbon and had put away a half of my third beer when I decided it was time to head home.

As I walked toward the door, I peeked into the back room. Some of Dee's work associates were seated around a few tables they had pulled together and some were on the dance floor. Dee was among those on the dance floor. I didn't know the guy she was dancing with but I did know they were dancing way too close together for my comfort. The guy she was dancing with was tall, over six feet, maybe 180 pounds. I guess women might consider him to be handsome; me, I considered him an asshole. He was putting the move on a married woman, which makes him an asshole in my book.

Logically I knew that this guy wasn't my problem. Dee was my problem but that didn't change the fact that I wanted to go into the back room and kick his ass. Prudence being the better part of valor, I decided to get out of there and go home before I really messed things up.

Just as I was about to head out the door, two young women came in. One of them looked into the back room and said, "There they are."

I didn't know either of these women so I guessed that they must be new employees. I stopped them before they went into the back room.

"Do you know those people in there?" I asked.

Both girls said that they did.

"That tall guy on the dance floor. Is his name Gary Benson?" I asked.

"No, his name is Carl Wentworth," one of the girls replied.

"Good thing I asked before I went in there and made a fool of myself," I said. "Thanks."

I stepped out of the way and let the girls pass and I headed out the door.

Dee came home at 11:00 PM that night. She seemed quite sober considering how long she had been out. I wanted to rip into her about the way she acted toward me when she came into the bar but decided to wait until we were both completely sober. Like I said, Dee appeared to be sober, but I wasn't. I may have left a half beer on the bar when I left the Brass Rail but that didn't mean I was done drinking for the night. I knocked off three more beers and a large Scotch when I got home.

I slept till nearly ten the next morning. When I got down to the kitchen, there was no coffee in the pot. I was just starting to make a pot when Dee walked into the kitchen. She obviously had already showered and was dress to go out somewhere.

"Why didn't you make coffee this morning?" I asked.

"I did but since you were dead to the world I only made enough for me."

I had the feeling that she was ready for a fight so I backed off.

"I am making a pot now. Would you like some?"

"No. I have to go. I have to work on a presentation I have to give next week. I'll be gone most of the day. I'll stop on my way home to pick up some groceries. What do you want for dinner tonight?"

"How about you?"

She almost smiled. "I am not on the menu. Pick something else."

"Okay, I'll have chicken then."

Dee picked up her car keys and started for the door and then stopped.

"What are you going to do today?" she asked.

"I don't know. I hadn't planned anything yet. I was thinking about going to some garage sales but I think I got up too late. Why?"

"I just thought that today might be a good day for you to start cleaning out the attic."

"I'll think about it."

"Well, don't just sit around all day drinking beer and watching ball games. Try to do something productive."

I had to smile as she walked out the door. That was the Dee I knew. Always trying to get me to accomplish something on the weekends. Well, since I was trying to get back into her good graces, I decided to start cleaning out the attic.

The house we lived in I had inherited from my grandfather on my mother's side. He died shortly after Dee and I married and left me his house. The house was about a mile outside of the city and was located on twenty-five acres of wooded land. In the middle of the woods, a few hundred yards behind the house, there was a pond I used to fish in when I was a kid. I spent a lot of time at my grandfather's house when I was growing up and I was very close to him. He knew I loved the place so he left it to me in his will.

My grandfather always kept his house neat and always took care of any needed repairs but he was a bit of a pack rat and the attic was full of boxes of things my grandfather couldn't seem to part with.

Dee and I had been living in the house for almost five years and I had yet to start going through the stuff in the attic. I guess the time had finally come.

After I drank my coffee and had some breakfast, I went up to the attic. I started right at the top of the stairs with the first box I could reach. It was full of old clothes that smelled of years of dust. So I took the whole box down stairs and put it in the trash and went back up. In two hours, I got rid of twenty boxes. As I got farther from the stairs, I started finding some interesting things. I started to visualize the garage sale I would have.

By 3:30, I had cleaned out about half of the attic. I was tired, my back hurt from so many trips downstairs carrying heavy boxes and I had inhaled about as much dust as a man can handle in one day. I decided to look in one more box and then call it a day. As I started to open the box, the side split and the contents spilled out. The box was full of old detective novels. As I was restacking the books that had fallen out of the box, I found a small wooden box that was about the size of one of the larger books. Inside the box, I found a thirty-eight-caliber pistol. It was the kind you always hear referred to as a snub nose .38 because of the short barrel.

I never knew that my grandfather had this gun. He had a rifle and a shotgun that Dee made me sell as soon as we moved into the house. Dee hated guns and I had no use for them so I sold them to a dealer in town. The .38 had been packed in grease so I put the gun back into its box and carried it downstairs and out to my workshop. I cleaned all of the grease off the gun and out of the barrel and then I examined the weapon carefully. I don't know much about guns but as far as I could tell everything seemed to work properly.

I debated what I should do with it but in the end I knew that Dee would never allow a gun in the house so I planned to ask a friend that collected guns how much he thought the gun would be worth. I guessed that it might be old enough to qualify as an antique but I wasn't sure. I locked the gun in my tool cabinet and went back into the house.

With my work for the day completed, I went to get a beer but there weren't any. That was something I was going to have to remedy. I got my keys and headed into town to buy beer. As I was driving, I was thinking about the gun and wondering if it still worked so I took a little detour and drove across town to one of our sporting goods stores and went back to the hunting section. I asked Al Banister, the department manager if the store stocked ammo for a .38.

"No. We don't carry any hand guns or ammo for hand guns at this store. Sorry."

"No problem. I found an old .38 of my grandfather's that I want to sell. I just wanted to find out if it works first."

"If that's all you want to do, I can fix you up," Al said. "I have a .38 that I carry in my car. We can slip out to my car and I can give you a few rounds so that you can test your weapon."

Al gave me six rounds from a full box of ammo that he had under the seat of his car. I thanked him but made a mental note to keep an eye on him.

On the way back across town, I passed Dee's office building. It was 4:30 PM and there was no sign of her car in the parking lot. I guessed that she was probably at the grocery store so I decided to save myself a trip and have Dee pick up some beer so I called her cell phone.

"What do you want, John?"

"Can you pick up some beer while you are at the store?"

"I'll add it to my list and I'll bring some home but I won't be done here for at least another hour. So if you can't wait till I get home you'll have to go get some yourself."

"Oh? You're still working?"

"Yes and I have to get back to work now. I'll see you when I get home."

I made a quick turn and swung back around the block and passed Dee's office building again. The only car in their parking lot belonged to the security company that protects that property.

This was a new wrinkle. Dee had just lied to me about where she was. I was going to have to do some serious thinking about this. Now I was definitely going to have to stop and buy some beer.


By the time, I had finished my forth beer I had figured out what was going on. Dee was having an affair. I didn't know who her lover was but my leading suspect was one Carl Wentworth. I had no proof of anything, only the lie she had told me about being at her office and the way I had seen her dancing with Wentworth the night before.

Dee finally came home at 6:30 that evening and immediately started to fix dinner. I was so pissed that I wanted to go out and start screaming at her about what a slut she was but I decided I needed to exercise self control to keep things cool around the house until I could prove what I already knew. To help me stay under control, I poured myself a large Scotch and drank it down in two large gulps.

As I felt the Scotch working its wonders on my brain, I went into the kitchen to try and make small talk with the wife.

"So, did you get enough sex today?" I said.

So much for keep things cool around the house.

"What did you say to me?"

"I asked you if you got enough sex today. I just wanted to make sure you were satisfied. If you're not maybe, I can help you out by giving you a little jump after dinner."

"What are you trying to say?"

"What I am saying is that you lied to me about where you were today. I was looking at the parking lot at your office when I called you and you said you were still working. Your car was not in the lot."

I could have sworn that I saw a smirk cross Dee's face. It lasted only a second but it was there.

"I said I was working. I never said I was in my office," Dee countered.

"Then where were you?"

"I was at Carol's house working on the presentation I have to give next week?"

"Good. So if I call Carol she will back up your story?"

"She would if she was home. The reason I had to work with her today was that she and her husband were leaving to go to Europe tonight. They are on their way to New York right now to catch their flight to Rome. She'll be gone two weeks but you can talk to her when she gets back."

That round went to Dee. I knew she was lying but I couldn't prove anything. I did say I wanted to keep things cool. Well, I certainly succeeded. Things were not only cool; they were positively frigid in our house for the next two weeks.


That brings us back to the night before my garage sale adventure. It was another Friday night and, as I getting ready to leave work, Dee called me.

"I am stopping at the Brass Rail with my friends tonight," she said.

"Do you want me to meet you there?" I asked hopefully.

"No. I just wanted to tell you so that you wouldn't come there and bother me. Don't wait up for me either. I will probably be quite late getting home tonight."

I didn't respond. I just put the phone down. I spent the next hour and a half just sitting in my office trying to decide what to do. Should I go see what she is up to and confront her? How would that work? Make a scene in front of her friends and coworkers? That would never help my cause. Maybe I should sit outside the Brass Rail in my car and wait for her to come out and follow her to see where she goes.

In the end I decided to just go to the Brass Rail and peek in the back room to see if she was with Wentworth. If she were, that would be all I needed to know.


When I got to the Brass Rail I stood near the doorway to the back room trying to peek in without being seen. Most of her crowd was sitting around the tables. Dee wasn't sitting next to Carl Wentworth but I wasn't sure if that meant she wasn't with him or not. I was leaning into the room trying to get a better look when Dee suddenly looked in my direction. I jumped back as quickly as I could and stayed out of view for a minute and then peek into the room again. It appeared that Dee had not seen me. I watched as she stood up and took Mr. Wentworthless by the hand and dragged him out to the dance floor.

That was all I needed to see. I knew that our marriage was probably over but I didn't know what to do about it. I ended up going home and drinking myself to sleep."

I have no idea what time Dee came home that night but I know what time she got up. Dee got out of bed at 7:00 AM and went to take a shower. I thought about going back to sleep but felt the sudden urge to get up and go to some garage sales.

I was on my second cup of coffee when Dee came downstairs.

"You look like shit," she said.

"Gee, thanks. Just what every guy wants to hear from his wife."

"What are you going to do today?" she asked in a tone that sounded almost friendly.

"I thought I might take in some garage sales."

"Jesus, garage sales? Again? Don't bring home any more crap that we don't need," Dee said while laughing.

I wondered if Dee was suddenly trying to play up to me? Did she know that I saw her with her boyfriend the previous evening?

Dee looked like she was dressed to go out again and I wondered if she was planning on spending another day with her lover.

"Looks like you are planning to go out somewhere today. Are you planning to go see your boyfriend, Carl Wentworth, again today?"

I noticed the momentary look of worry on Dee's face when I mentioned her boyfriend's name.

"I do not have a boyfriend. Carl is just a work associate," Dee said.

"I saw the two of you together last night. You two looked like more than just friends when I saw you."

Dee was smiling now. "So, you spied on me last night. Well, I danced with Carl a few times but we are not even friends. He is just someone I work with. Besides he's married."

"So he's married. What does his being married have to do with anything? You're married and it doesn't stop you from messing around," I said.

"Listen to who's talking. We know that you have been putting your dick where it doesn't belong so I don't think you should be accusing me of anything."

"You only think you know that. I didn't touch that barmaid. I would never cheat on you and besides, I was too drunk to do anything that night."

"That's what you always say."

"You still didn't answer my question. Are you going to see Carl?"

"No. I am going over to my mother's. If you feel the need to checkup on me, you can call me there. I should be home around two o'clock this afternoon. Maybe we can go out to dinner tonight."

"Sure. Dinner tonight. Fine," I said.

Dee gave me another smile and then left. What the hell was she up to? She never lost her temper during that conversation. She had done nothing but bitch at me for the last six weeks and suddenly she is trying to make peace with me. I sensed that she is up to something.


I left the garage sale with my box of goodies and went looking for another sale. I drove past about five sales that didn't seem to have anything interesting and was about to head home when I spotted another sale that looked promising. I walked up the driveway looking at all of the boxes of stuff they had laid out. I didn't see anything that really interested me until I got to the garage door. There sitting in the middle of the garage was an item with a price tag of $500. It was a brand new set of Taylor Made golf clubs in a special addition copy of the American Ryder Cup team's golf bag.

I actual felt as if my blood was going to boil. I gave those clubs to Dee to give to her friend's son so that he would have a nice set of clubs when he tried out for the golf team. I didn't give them the clubs so they could sell them.

I looked around to see who was running the sale and spotted an attractive blond talking to an older couple that was asking questions about a chair that was for sale. I walked over to where they were talking and waited until the couple moved off.

"Do you have a question about something?" she asked me.

"Are you Sharon?"

"No. My name is Trudy."

Trudy? Who the hell is Trudy? Another twist. Dee said she was giving the clubs to a woman named Sharon.

"Are you selling those golf clubs?"

"Yes. Are you interested?"

"Can I ask you where you got those clubs?"

Trudy looked a little embarrassed by the question. "Some woman that my husband works with gave them to him?"

"They're brand new. Why are you selling them?"

"I am not about to let my husband accept a gift like that from another woman."

"Is your husband's name Carl by any chance?"

"How did you know?"

I told Trudy that my wife was the one who gave Carl the clubs and that she he lied to me about who she gave them to.

I could tell that Trudy was getting angry. "Please take the clubs with you. I just want to be rid of them."

"Where is your husband now?"

"He went up to Minnesota to go fishing with his brother and his father. He'll be there for two weeks. When I close up this garage sale my sister-in-law is picking me up and we are heading up to Minnesota to join the men. I can't wait to tell Carl I gave his new golf clubs back to you."

"What do you think he'll say when you tell him?"

"He knows that there is no way he should be accepting expensive gifts from other women so he had better keep his mouth shut."

I had nothing else to say to Trudy so I picked up the golf clubs and carried them to my car and headed home. Dee giving the clubs to her boyfriend was the last straw. She has been treating me like a pariah for the last six weeks. She accused me of cheating on her while she has been carrying on with this Wentworthless dick. Then to top everything off she plays on my generous nature to con me into giving her lover an expensive set of golf clubs.

By the time I walked into the house, I was livid. When I got up that morning, I had pretty much already decided that I was going to divorce Dee but after finding out about the golf clubs I knew that I was going to have to get some revenge. It was 11:30 AM so I had about two and a half hours to come up with a plan. I got my bottle of Scotch out and sat down at the kitchen table to plot my revenge.

After two doubles, I could feel the Scotch beginning to clear the cobwebs from my brain. I didn't have a complete plan as yet but ideas were starting to come to me. The first thing I did was to get the golf clubs from my car and bring them into the house. I set them in the middle of the kitchen so that Dee couldn't miss them when she came in. I couldn't wait to hear what she would say when she realized that I knew the truth about the golf clubs.

I was pretty proud of myself for coming up with that idea so I poured myself another Scotch to celebrate. I didn't have any other ideas at the moment so I went out to my workshop to putter around and kill time until Dee came home from her mother's house.

When I unlocked my tool cabinet, I saw the gun box and remembered the .38.

"This would be a good time to see if this thing works," I said to myself. I was a little embarrassed when I realized I had said it out loud.

"Now she's fuckin got me talking to myself," I said, out loud again.

I went out to my car a retrieved the six thirty-eight caliber bullets Al had given me. Then I picked up the gun and a couple of empty beer cans and carried them out into the woods behind the house. I put the cans in the crotch of a tree and backed off about twenty-five feet. I opened the cylinder and put one bullet into the gun. Then I closed the cylinder and rotated it around until the chamber with the bullet in it was lined up with the hammer. I aimed the gun at the one of the beer cans and prepared myself for the noise and the recoil. I took a deep breath and pulled the trigger.

"Click."

The gun didn't fire. I looked at the gun and saw that the chamber with the bullet in it wasn't aligned with the hammer. "Must have moved on me," I thought. So I lined the loaded chamber up with the hammer again, took a deep breath and pulled the trigger.

"Click."

"Shit."

I removed the bullet and examined the gun. I pulled the trigger a couple of times. As I did, I saw that the cylinder rotated one position clockwise as I pulled the trigger.

"Idiot."

I reloaded the chamber and rotated the cylinder so that the loaded chamber was one space to the left of the hammer position. I aimed at the beer can and pulled the trigger.

"BANG!"

My ears were ringing, my fingers were tingling and the beer can was still sitting in the crotch of the tree unmarked. I had no idea where the bullet had gone. I guessed that I must have closed my eyes when I pulled the trigger.

I put two more bullets into the gun and fired two more shots at the cans. Although I managed to keep my eyes open for both shots the results were the same. I did manage to see where the bullets hit. I missed the cans by at least ten inches. One went to the left and the other was too high.

My ears were still ringing when I went back into the garage. I removed the empty cartridges from the gun and put it back into the box. Then I went back into the house and poured myself another Scotch and got a beer chaser. As I sat enjoying the clarity of thinking that comes from a well-lubricated brain, I started to develop a fantasy.

I started thinking how Dee would react if I shot her lover. It would be fun to watch her suffer the pain of knowing it was her fault. The problem with that would be that I would never be able to get away with it. The cops would know that I did it almost immediately. I would hate going to jail. Maybe I would then kill myself. That would teach her. I liked the idea. I would kill Mr. Wentworthless and then tell Dee I did it. Then while she is trying to deal with that I would tell her that I am going to kill myself too and it is all her fault. I could put the gun in my mouth and blow the back of my head off right in front of her. Let her live with that.

I grabbed myself another beer as I thought about the pros and cons of that idea. I could only find two things wrong with the plan. The first was that I was not a killer and the second was that I didn't want to die. The only good part of the idea was that Dee would really suffer. I wished that I could make her feel that bad. If only there was a way to do it without having to kill anyone and without having to die myself.

As I was finishing my beer it came to me. I had everything I needed to really get her. My parting shot was going to be something she would never forget. I looked up at the clock as I got another beer from the fridge. It was 1:00 PM. I had one hour to prepare.


At 2:15 I heard the garage door open and Dee's car pulling in. When she came into the kitchen I was sitting at the table facing her. Dee was carrying what appeared to be a garment bag from Nordstrom's and she had a big smile on her face.

"I picked up a sexy little black dress to wear when we go out to dinner tonight," she said as she entered the room.

"That's nice," I said.

When she saw the bottle of Scotch sitting on the table in front of me, she said, "I hope you haven't been drinking all afternoon."

"Not all afternoon," I said.

Then she saw the golf clubs. "What are those clubs doing in the kitch... ?"

She stopped talking and her mouth seemed to hang half opened as she realized that they were the clubs she had given to her lover boy.

"Imagine my surprise when I found these clubs at a garage sale this morning," I said. "Would it be too much to ask you to explain how your fuck buddy Carl ended up with the clubs that were supposed to be for your friend's son?"

"I can explain," she started.

"Actually you don't need to because it is no longer important to me," I said and then I lifted the .38 from my lap and laid it on the table in front of me.

"What are you doing with that gun?"

"Taking care of business. You may be interested to know that good old Carl protected your reputation right up till the very end before he admitted that you were his lover. I think you would have been proud of him," I said.

Dee's face went white and her lips began to quiver. "Lover? What have you done?"

"I took your lover for a little ride. We had a little chat and then I put him out of my misery so to speak. They won't be finding his body for a long time."

"Oh, my God! No! God, no!" Dee began screaming. "This wasn't supposed to happen. Please, God, no!"

I have to admit that I almost felt bad for her but I wasn't done yet. In as pathetic a voice as I could fake, I said, "I wanted to kill you too but I just can't do it. I guess I still love you too much. I've destroyed everything now. The police will be looking for me soon and I just can't deal with that. I just don't see any other way out of this."

"No. No, please don't."

I started waving the gun around to help me make my point. "Unless you want to watch me do this, you better leave right..."

"BANG!"

The noise in the kitchen was much louder that it had been out in the woods. I looked in the direction that the gun was pointing and said, "Oops. You'll have to get that hole patched. Sorry."

Dee looked at the wall and saw the bullet hole I was looking at. She looked absolutely terrified.

"John. Please put the gun down before someone gets hurt."

"Haven't you been listening? Someone already has been hurt. Now I have to do what's right. Give me your cell phone," I said.

"Why?"

"Just give me your fucking cell phone," I shouted.

Dee pulled the phone out of her purse and put it on the table.

"Good. Now you can't call anyone. Now get the hell out of here."

"I am not leaving so just put that gun down," she said.

"Don't go getting all brave on me. I am still not sure I won't decide to kill you too so just get the fuck out of here now."

"Please don't do this," she pleaded.

"Just go or you will get my brains all over your new dress."

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