Prologue

The airport taxi turned right onto my little cul-de-sac on Friday night.

"Fifth house on the right," I instructed the driver.

He pulled halfway into the driveway. I momentarily thought he pulled up to the wrong house. My sporty red Celica was parked there but instead of my wife's Voyager minivan next to it, there was a dark blue Ford Crown Vic parked in its spot. I knew the minivan wasn't in the garage because that was my long overdue clean up project.

The taxi driver pulled my luggage from the trunk and I paid him which included a generous tip. I slung my laptop case over my shoulder and picked up my luggage. I hadn't taken a step to the front door when a man in a dark suit appeared before me.

"John Cooper?" he asked.

"Yes," I said wondering who was this guy

"Police," he said. "Sergeant Wilson." He quickly flashed a badge and put it away like he had years of practice.

"What's this about?" I asked.

"Can we go inside?"

"Sure," I said.

It was nine o'clock at night but it felt like midnight since I flew in from the east coast to my west coast home. I was dead tired but I couldn't just tell the police to shove off.

I put my luggage down in the hallway and my laptop on the dining table. Wilson motioned toward the sitting area. I sat and he immediately spoke.

"Your wife was in an accident tonight," he said.

"What happened? Is she all right?" I immediately spouted.

"I'm sorry to tell you this, but your wife and your children died at the scene."

My wife, Lisa! My four-year old daughter, Jessica! My two-year old son, Jason! I called Jason "mini". He was my Mini-Cooper.

I struggle for words as tears flowed.

"How?" I choked out.

"A single car accident. It appears your wife lost control of the vehicle."

I went to the hospital that night to provide additional identification. I wanted to get it over with. My life couldn't get any worse.

"Mr. Cooper?" a uniformed female police officer greeted me as I left the morgue. "I'm Officer Garcia. Could I ask you a few questions? I want to fill in a few details for the final police report."

"Okay," I said feeling beaten down. What else was there to do in my life?

We found an empty waiting room.

"How much did your wife typically drink?" Garcia asked first.

"Drink?" I said confused. "Water?"

"Alcohol. Beer, wine, whiskey, vodka."

"None. Lisa and I don't touch the stuff."

"How well do you know your wife?"

"What the hell kind of question is that?" I angrily retorted.

"Alcoholics are very good at hiding from people."

"My wife doesn't drink!" I told her point blank. "Talk to our friends. Talk to our pastor."

"There were several open alcohol bottles found in the vehicle."

"Well, they weren't hers! Do a blood test or something!"

The weekend was miserable. I didn't know what to do with myself. I wandered the house aimlessly. It was so empty... and dead.

Work completely understood about taking the week or two off to arrange the funerals and anything else I needed to take care of.

Things somehow got worse. Monday morning the police confirmed Lisa's blood alcohol was twice the legal limit. Nothing like being kicked when you're down.

Our friends called plus our pastor Rod Woods and his wife Julie came over. I had a good cry with Rod and Julie. They're good people. Everyone who contacted me had great intentions but pain that deep doesn't go away.

I contemplated my marriage. I thought we were happy. I went out of town about once a month but I tried to limit my business trips to just a couple of days. This past five-day trip was the longest one I had in over two years. I couldn't fathom what drove her to drink. She did drink. I found several bottles hidden in the laundry closet. Was I a bad husband and father?

I ran across Lisa's diary. I never read her diary. I promised her. I wanted her to be able to write anything and never worry about what was on the paper.

I held the small book in my hands. I struggled whether to open it or not. I decided I wanted to discover any clues that drove her to drink. I was apprehensive about determining what was my role in this, but curiosity got the best of me. She wouldn't care if I read her diary now.

I skimmed the first pages. Lisa wrote down her prayers and hopes for our children, for our marriage, and for our friends. She wrote down her concerns in life and what she loved in life. I was always listed in the latter category. This was no help at all to my quest.

I flipped through the book faster until I noticed her handwriting changed. It looked almost shaky. I skipped backwards until I found where the change started and I read.

I feel so sick. I don't know what happened. It was only a meeting with Pastor Rod to discuss an outreach to homeless children...

My Lisa was good like that. She was always loving the overlooked such as street kids.

He listened and said the church would provide some funding. I was happy and then I don't know how it happened. He said I was so sexy and that I shouldn't flaunt myself before him.

That didn't sound like Lisa at all. My 34-year old wife was a beautiful and gorgeous brunette who kept herself in shape, but she didn't flaunt herself except for me in the privacy of our bedroom.

He kissed me and said he couldn't control himself. He was too strong. I felt powerless when my blouse was opened and his hand was underneath my bra. Did I turn him on too much? What did I do? He said he knew I wanted him and that my desire overpowered his restraint. On the carpet, he entered me. Afterwards, he told me how wonderful I was and he scheduled a follow up meeting about the homeless children for next week.

I could barely look John in the eyes that night. I felt so ashamed. What had I done? Was I raped or did I make the pastor lose control? I think I was raped but this is Pastor Rod. I can't imagine him doing such a thing.

My blood churned. I moved ahead in the diary until I found the next meeting of Lisa and Rod.

He wanted to do it right away since he said we couldn't control ourselves. We had sex on his desk and then we talked about the street children. He made me do it a second time doggy-style. I hate doggy-style but he insisted. He said he needed to quench his desire for me before he saw me on Sunday.

A few pages later.

I am a fool. I have betrayed John and my children. What have I done? I do not love Rod or the way he uses me. Yes, he DOES use me. I am just a sex doll to him.

A little further.

I hate myself. The pain will not go away. I can dull the pain but it always comes back. John must never find out. I am unforgivable.

Another day.

I was careless. I almost left a bottle in the living room when he came home. I shouldn't drink but I can't live with myself.

I had two distinct emotions. I had an even greater love for Lisa and what she had to go through. I despised Rod.

I grabbed my wallet and keys. I was going to beat the shit out of Pastor Rod - excuse my language. I got to the door.

What was this going to accomplish? At best, it lands me in jail. There was enough doubt in Lisa's diary that there was no way Rod would get convicted of rape. Had he done this before with other women?

On Sunday, I dressed up and went to church. Everyone who hadn't already expressed their condolences did. I pretended to be happy when I shook Rod's hand after church. I looked over at his Julie who talked to their 20-year old daughter Ruth. I stared at Ruth. An idea hit my mind and I didn't shoo it away but instead cultivated it.

Chapter 1: Assembling the Ingredients

I am 40 years old and have brown hair with the slightest tinges of gray. I am in okay shape for my age. I am not fat but I could be more toned.

Rod and Julie Woods' daughter Ruth was 20 years old with straight blonde hair and dark blue eyes. She wasn't fat but her body could use some improved shape. I couldn't discern the details of her feminine figure because of the clothes she wore but my guess is her breasts were on the small size and her waist could use some of that improved shape I mentioned earlier.

Ruth was their only child. She didn't go to college. She just helped at the church or at home wherever her parents needed her. She didn't date because Dad would find and decide on the man she would eventually marry. Earlier conversations with her gave me the impression she didn't care for that dating policy, but she wasn't going to go against her father. She was eager for Dad to do his part and find a marriage partner for her.

A month after Lisa' death, I met with Pastor Rod in his office. I looked around and it almost made me sick thinking about what happened here. I held my composure.

"I'm planning on getting involved with many outreach and service organizations to keep my self busy," I said.

"That sounds like a good idea," he said. "It helps heal the wounds by doing things for others."

I wanted to punch him in the lip! I definitely did!

"Yeah," I agreed. "I have this great idea. What if your Ruth joined me with all this? She could learn a lot by meeting the people we help. It will help her grow up. I'll keep an eye on her so she won't get into trouble."

"You know, that's an excellent idea," he said. "I'll double-check with Julie but I can't think of any problem or conflict. I want Ruth to know what's out in the world but she's a young and pretty girl and I'm afraid she'll be deceived by some young man who is after only one thing."

"Say no more," I said. "You're a wise, Dad. You don't want some worldly college boy twisting her head all around."

"This is perfect!" he said with a dramatic handclap. "Thank you for thinking of her."

"Hello, Ruth," I greeted at the Woods' house.

She didn't look very happy in her sweatshirt and jeans. I think it was the first time I saw her in anything but a shapeless dress. She had some hips after all. Maybe her ass was a little big. It was hard to tell because her sweatshirt hung too low.

We worked side by side at a soup kitchen that evening.

"Hey, sweet thing," said one man to Ruth. "Got any breasts?"

"That's no way to talk to a lady!" I shot back.

"Talking about chicken," he replied.

"If you are going to talk to her that way you can find a meal somewhere else."

"I have the right to talk to her how I like!" he said with sudden belligerence.

"And I have the right to stick this spoon up your ass!" I waved the utensil angrily at him.

He backed away.

"You owe her an apology," I demanded but in a much calmer voice. "She's a beautiful young woman who deserves respect and honor by men."

"Sorry, miss," he said.

"It's okay," Ruth replied quietly.

He left with his tray of food and I said to Ruth, "Only marry a man who will respect you and defend you. Just because you are beautiful and blonde doesn't mean you have to put up with jerks."

"My father will decide on who I marry."

"You can have input, Ruth. You find a guy and tell your Dad, 'What about this one?'".

We worked at the soup kitchen the next four nights. On the drives back and forth from her home, I learned more and more about her interests. Her background growing up made her more immature in social situations but she was more mature in intellectual matters. She was a strange blend of personality.

The following week we helped pass out blankets, build a shelter for veterans, and provide administrative assistance for a mobile clinic for poor kids.

Over the next month, she looked happy when I arrived at her house.

"Rod!" I said when I stopped by the church office mid-week.

"Hey, John. How you doing? Ruth sure likes doing everything with you. I can't remember seeing her happier." He then said quieter, "Stops her from bugging me about getting her a husband too."

"I was wondering if you were okay with Ruth flying down with me to Mexico to help repair an orphanage and help the kids for a week."

"I bet she'd love that!"

"She'll need a passport."

"She has one. We went to the Bahamas two years ago."

I knew that already but I played dumb anyway.

"Great! Maybe we can go next week!" I said.

Chapter 2: Stirring the Pot

Ruth and I joined eight other people in Mexico. There were four married couples and we got to know them on the bus ride to the village.

"Senor Cooper?" said Pedro, the orphanage caretaker, as we greeted the staff and we were welcomed enthusiastically.

"Yes?"

"I don't have a place to sleep for your friend." He pointed at Ruth. "We did not expect her."

"She can sleep in my room. It will be okay."

"Oh, okay." He looked at me curiously.

"I knew you didn't have extra space. Everything will be alright," I assured him.

After dinner, Pedro gave us a tour of what needed to be done. Painting was the main project and one of the couples, the Bandons, sent paint to put on the walls long before we arrived. One of the other projects was a problem sink that continually clogged. I volunteered to look at that since I had some self-taught plumbing skills. Ruth could either help me or help paint. Painting would be the easiest.

Everyone went to bed by nine. It was a long travel day and we wanted to get up right away and start work. There was just the single bathroom, so there was a long wait before everyone was in their rooms.

The room was small as expected. Our bags were on the floor and the rest of the room was just a double-wide cot which meant it was still small. The rest of the room was a couple of pillows, two worn blankets, and a small window covered by a thin drape. It was wonderfully cozy for a married couple.

"There's only one bed," Ruth observantly stated.

"We'll both sleep on it."

"Both of us?"

"Everybody else is sleeping two to a bed."

"But they're... you know, married."

"I doubt they're having sex. Look at this thing. It would fall down."

"But..."

I interrupted. "You can sleep on the ground and let the bugs crawl in your ears..."

"Bugs?" she shivered.

"Or you can share the bed with me like civilized people."

I took my shirt off and started to take my pants off.

"John!"

"What? We're two adults here. It's too warm and too uncomfortable to sleep in my clothes. I'm sleeping in my undershorts. If you can't handle that, it's your problem."

"Well, turn around. I'm going to change."

I faced the wall and said, "It's not like I haven't seen a woman before. I was married."

"But we're not."

"No, but it's no big deal to sleep in the same bed."

I heard rustling of clothes and the opening and closing of a zipper.

"Are you done yet?" I asked trying to sound perturbed. "This wall is pretty boring to look at."

"Are you looking?" she said panicked.

I wasn't looking but it made me wonder what state of undress she was currently in.

"Just hurry up," I whined.

"I am. I am."

"Maybe tomorrow we can both sleep in the nude to make it easier."

"What?"

"Just joking. Take it easy."

"Not funny."

"I thought it was."

"Well, it's not."

"Different strokes for different folks."

It was still another couple of minutes until she finally said, "Okay."

I turned and Ruth was in light pink cotton pajamas with a yellow flower pattern. It looked okay. It looked okay if she was a five-year old and not a young just-out-of-her-teens woman eager for a husband.

"I thought you were changing for bed," I commented.

"What's wrong with this?"

"It's just not very sexy. I thought you were trying to find a husband. Is that what you wear every night?"

"I usually wear a night shirt over my panties."

"So why not wear that?"

"I'm with you."

I shook my head in disbelief.

"Let's hit the cot. Why don't you lie on your side and face the wall? It will be easier for you to get up against the wall than me if one of us has to go to the bathroom during the night."

Ruth did as I asked and then I lay facing her.

"Turn around," she said as my legs curled towards hers.

"What for?"

"It... it feels... I don't know."

"The cot's small so think of how you stack spoons. You fit their curves together so they take up a smaller space. That's what we're doing."

Ruth sighed deeply.

I nuzzled my chest a little closer to her back and closed my eyes. It would be more comfortable to put my arm over her but not tonight.

I woke up sometime during the night to take a leak. I returned and could see Ruth silhouetted in the moonlight that shone through the lightweight curtain. Her long blonde hair glimmered and looked beautiful. She slept peacefully and looked like she hadn't moved since she got on the bed.

I carefully scooted up to her. I placed my arm along her upper leg and gently pressed my crotch against her ass. Since I was only in underwear, my cock grew. Once I was fully hard, I slowly rubbed back and forth against her ass. Her pajama bottoms creased into her ass and my cock found that rut to run in. I could tell she had panties on because the groove never became very deep. Still, it felt wonderful to rub against her for the probable ten minutes I did it. I'm not a good judge of time without a watch.

Ruth stirred so I quickly backed away. I left her alone for the rest of the night.

Somehow I rolled over to my other side during the night, so the first rays of morning sunlight hit me in the face. Who was the stupid to put an east facing window in this room?

I had a morning hard-on, so I rolled back over toward Ruth. She appeared just as dead to the world as she did all night. I moved forward and used my cock to recreate that little ass crease in her pajamas. After the earlier rub session I was very horny, so I was more aggressive.

"What are you doing?" her voice rang out and she tried to roll onto her back.

"Wha... ?" I said to fake that I was awoken. I moved away from her.

"Were you asleep?" she asked.

"Weren't you?"

"Yes, but you were..." she faded away.

"What?" I pressed. I wanted to see if she would say it.

"You were... oh, never mind."

"You're my friend, Ruth. I trust you. You can tell me."

"You were rubbing against me."

"Rubbing?" I feigned ignorance.

"Your penis," she finally said.

"And you're embarrassed because you liked it?"

"NO!" she vehemently said.

I held back my chuckle.

"Remind to tell you about this dream I had last night," I said changing the subject. "I'm very excited about it and I hope you will be too."

"What was it?"

"Later," I said. "Time to get up, eat breakfast, and get to work. Plan on showering in the evening while you are here because you are going to get filthy during the day."

I pulled down my undershorts as if she wasn't there. My peripheral vision told me her eyes were glued to my erect cock. I took out a clean pair from my bag, turned and faced her like it was no big deal that I was naked before her, and slipped them on. I then started to put on my other clothes. I was dressed in a couple of minutes.

"Don't take too long," I said. "It's a busy day."

"Wow!" I said when she appeared for breakfast. I was already eating.

"What?"

"I've never seen you in shorts before. You have great legs!"

She blushed.

Ruth did look wonderful. She looked like a typical college girl today. She wore white shorts with a t-shirt that had the logo of our church. Rowr!

I showed her the best techniques to paint and set her off on it. She'd be with Bill and Mary Smith anyway if she had any questions or problems. I headed off to the plumbing problem. As with any plumbing problem, it took longer that I thought it would. I figured I'd have it knocked out by noon but it took all day. During our breaks, everybody took time to interact and play with the orphaned kids.

There was a line for the showers and then dinner was afterwards.

"Let's go for a walk," I said to Ruth. It was better than waiting in line. "The shower will still be here."

We strolled off behind the building.

"Can I talk serious with you, Ruth?" I asked.

"Yes," she said. She looked excited about the prospect of 'serious' talk. "What's it about?"

"Us."

"Us?" she said confused.

"Yes. You know the dream I mentioned? I dreamt about us. We were married and so much in love. You were pregnant and we were so happy."

She was silent.

"What are you thinking?" I asked.

She said quietly, "Do you think it was because you were rubbing against me?"

"No." I shook my head. "I woke up in the middle of the night with my dream. Ruth? Would you date me? I don't expect you to believe my dream but I think we should find out if it is true."

"You're so much older than me," she said. "It's the truth."

"Does it matter? Look how much fun we've had together. You are so much more mature than the average girl your age. I like a lot of the younger music and movies. We have a lot in common."

"I couldn't anyway. My father..."

I interrupted and completed. "... does not need to know. Your dad, Pastor Rod, is a good man but he's wrong about you. You should decide who you want to date. If the guy you choose happens to me, you should have every right to date him and get to know him and decide if he's your future husband. To put it bluntly, Ruth, and excuse my language, but who gives a fuck what your dad thinks?"

Ruth couldn't help but smile.

"You understand?" I asked.

"Yes," she said firmly.

"Thank you for listening. Now let's get you a shower so you can return to being that sweet smelling girl I love."

As we returned, Ruth had a bemused smile the whole time.

Ruth showered and I was the last of the group to shower. I was surprised to see Ruth in one of my t-shirts when I returned to the room. It went down to almost her knees.

"It's warmer tonight," she said. "I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all. Everything I have is yours. Of course, my shoes are a little big for you."

Ruth laughed.

"I love your laugh," I said as I stepped toward her.

I kissed her on the cheek and then the other one. My eyes focused on her lips and I brought mine in. Ruth stiffened up in shock but then let me kiss her without any response but no resistance either.

"That was nice," I said after the short lip lock.

She sat down on the cot obviously fallen into thought.

I stripped off my underwear and grabbed a clean pair from the bag. I looked over at Ruth while I stuck my legs through and pulled them up. Ruth stared at my big and hard cock again. I was even bigger and harder than before. My cock ached for release. My cock ached for sex.

"Boy, I am tired," I said and stretched. "Work feels good though."

"Uh-huh," she nodded. I noticed her eyes were still fixed on my erect cock now tucked away in my undershorts.

"Bill Smith said you did a good job and you are a hard worker."

"Thanks."

"That maturity in you makes me love you even more."

She looked up at me pensively.

"Let's get to sleep," I said motioning her over. "Another long day tomorrow."

I nuzzled into her. I was sure she could feel my hard-on up against her ass. I kissed her a few times on the back of the neck. She sighed softly.

"Good night, beautiful," I said and then put my head on the pillow and went to sleep.

I was disappointed that I didn't awake before Ruth. As soon as I stirred, she turned her head.

"You awake?" she whispered.

"Yeah," I mumbled. "but let's sleep a little longer."

"We'll miss breakfast."

"I'm not ready to get up, honey. Let's just lie together like this a little longer."

I closed the gap between our bodies. I lifted my head and started to kiss her cheek. She didn't react and just let me pelt kisses. My soft cock reacted and as it grew I innately pushed against her ass.

"I have to pee!" she hastily said.

I sighed internally and backed off. I sat up to make it easier for her to get up.

By the time she returned, I was dressed.

"Good morning, beautiful," I said and looked goo-goo eyed at her.

"I need to dress," she informed.

"I'm happy I get to paint today," I said.

"John?" she said.

"What? Oh, you want me to turn around again?"

"Since you're ready," she said, "could you just go and I'll meet you in the kitchen."

"Okay, my bashful future bride."

I stood and surprised her again with a firm kiss on the lips then exited.

We painted together the north wall of the west room

"If I had the skill," I said, "I would paint a mural of your likeness to put perpetual beauty into this place."

"Stop it!" she said.

"I love how you react to my flattery."

"Knock it off." She looked around to see if anyone was around to hear.

For the next couple of days and nights, I was easy on Ruth except for some surprise kisses and plenty of verbal expressions of my love. I didn't rub against her ass or even let her see me naked.

Our last night in Mexico, I decided to be more adventurous. Everybody stayed up late talking and didn't get to bed until near midnight. Ruth got onto the bed and I excused myself to get a drink. I stayed away for a half hour and crept in quietly.

Ruth was asleep. I was tempted to slip into bed completely naked but I couldn't come up with a reasonable explanation for that. This time I slipped my hand over her and slowly sought out her left tit which was closest to the bed. I pushed my fingers between the side of her tit and the bed and grabbed a handful of breast though her shirt. I pulled our bodies the closest together we'd been yet. This comfortable position brought wonderful memories of lying like this with Lisa. This was for Lisa.

"John?" I heard her nervous voice in the morning.

"Huh?" I said half-asleep.

"John?" her voice came a little stronger.

"What?" I said sounding a little annoyed about being woken up.

"John," she stretched out my name.

My eyes snapped opened as I realized I was mindlessly fondling her tit.

"Good morning, beautiful," I said. I moved and kissed her on the lips for a long time. When I finally parted, her face looked flushed and her breath was harder.

"Your hand," she said.

"What about it?"

"It's on my breast," she said slowly.

"Do you like it?"

It wasn't the response she expected from me.

"You shouldn't do that," she said.

"I know," I agreed. I pulled my hand away and then before she had a chance to defend, my hand shot up underneath the shirt and I grabbed her tit bare skin to bare skin.

She tried to push my hand away but it just served to push her body harder against me which included my erection down below.

"Oh, Ruth," I groaned. "You are so wonderful." I fervently kneaded her tit. I started to hump against her ass. She was tight in my grip and had nowhere to go.

"Please... don't," she said panicked but she also gasped harder.

I stopped my frenzy but continued to play with her tit.

"Can you honestly tell me this doesn't feel good?" I asked as I tweaked her nipple and made it hard.

The room became silent except for her hard breaths.

"Ruth?" I asked.

"It does feel good," she said.

"I hoped you cared for me, " I said. "Now I know it."

"We can't do this," she insisted. "We shouldn't do this."

"Do you want me to stop?"

Ruth pulled her shirt up and moved my hand to her other tit. I immediately started to play with it.

"Oh!" she moaned.

"I love you, Ruth!"

"I love you, too!" she said.

Yes!

After a couple of minutes of increased arousal on both our parts, I stopped. We needed to get breakfast, shower, and get our stuff. We would sit through a 'thank you' ceremony from Pedro and his staff and get on the old bus to take us to the airport.

Chapter 3: Marinating

"Want to go to lunch?" I asked Ruth after church on Sunday.

"Sure! I'll go tell my parents."

I took her to an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet and then I headed to my house. The pictures of Lisa and my kids were all put away. It left the house feeling even more empty but I needed to do it.

"Princess Bride?" I asked and showed her the DVD.

She shrugged. "I've never seen it."

"You're in for a treat." I popped it in.

Ruth sat in the crook of my right arm on the couch. My hand casually and innocently rubbed her leg as we watched. She was delighted by the off-beat charm of the movie.