"Seventy dollars," I yelled out and waved my bidding paddle.
"I'm bid 70," the auctioneer responded. "Do I hear 75?"
"Seventy-five," I yelled again and the entire room full of people erupted into laughter.
"Seventy-five is bid from the gentleman who just bid 70. Do I hear 80, sir?" I finally realized what I'd done and I sank down in my chair embarrassed and humiliated. That just prompted more laughter from the other bidders. There were no further bids and I think it was just to see me squirm some more. "Sold to the anxious gentleman for 75 dollars," the auctioneer finally announced. He slammed down the gavel. I got up and made my way to the cashier's cage to pay for my purchase accompanied by more laughter and even scattered applause. To my immense relief I was quickly forgotten as the bidding started for the next item.
I didn't even know what I'd purchased. It was a local estate auction for this old woman who had died recently and I'd arrived late. The inspection period was over. I was bidding blind. The catalog said it was an art object but the bidding was very slow on this one item so I thought I might have a chance at it. This was my very first auction as you might have guessed. I had a hundred dollars on me and felt sure I'd win a bid or two if I just kept bidding. Well, I was outbid throughout the auction and I almost got discouraged until this one item was offered for bid.
When I picked up my purchase I opened the box it came in. I burst out in laughter when I discovered what was inside. It was someone's holiday souvenir. The original owner probably paid five bucks for it and overpaid at that price. I'd seen similar but better made items in gag shops. It was a cheap looking statuette of some god, probably Polynesian. The god was represented by a naked man squatting on his haunches with a huge prick sticking straight up and reaching almost to his chin. The little man didn't look too happy even with the good fortune of being well-endowed. He was wearing a big giant frown. The overall height of the statuette was nine inches. I wondered how an old woman had come into possession of such an object; probably a joke gift from a friend or relative.
Well, I decided, this would be a lesson for me. I just wasn't cut out to find lost or neglected treasures which I could buy cheap and sell for a nice profit which was why I was at the auction in the first place. I had just graduated from high school and didn't know what to do with myself. I didn't think I was college material and at the same time I didn't want to join the army or go out job hunting just yet. I figured I had the entire summer ahead of me before my parents started bugging me about my plans or about paying rent. I took the object to my bedroom when I got home and placed it on top of my dresser.
The rest of the day was uneventful and the next morning I woke up bright and early with my usual morning piss hard-on. At least I thought it was usual. After pissing it remained poker stiff and refused to go down. I jumped back into bed and figured to have a quick jerk-off session. Well, I stroked for the next five minutes... and then for five more minutes... and then for five minutes after that. I just couldn't get off. I was in a sweat and beginning to panic. This had never happened before. Two or three minutes usually did it for me. I hate to admit it but at 18 I was still a virgin.
I lay back gasping and out of breath. I looked at my red abused prick to seek guidance but all one-eyed Jack did was stare back at me accusingly as if what was happening was my fault. Well, perhaps it was but I couldn't for the life of me figure out what I'd done wrong. Suddenly I heard a voice inside my head say, "You will have your release... but only in the proper manner."
I gave a little shiver. Now I was hearing a strange voice in my head. Was I losing my mind? I jumped out of bed and into the shower... a cold shower. I dressed in loose clothing to hide my stiffy, got some breakfast and plopped in front of TV to watch ESPN. I'd been sitting there for about 20 minutes when my mother walked in. "What the heck is that thing doing in your room?" she demanded.
"That thing... that obscene statuette is what I'm talking about. I can't believe you brought that thing into this house."
"It's in my room, Mom."
"I don't care. I have to go in there occasionally and I don't want to have to look at it."
"Okay," I said. "Where do you want me to put it?" There wasn't any sense arguing with her. I wasn't about to bitch about not having any privacy because she would have bitched about me not doing my own laundry and keeping my room clean. I love my mom dearly but she can be a pain in the butt.
"The trash can outside is an appropriate place for it," Mom replied.
I shrugged my shoulders and hurried into my room. I'd gotten halfway interested in the poker tournament that was on and the only other place for my purchase was a storage box I kept in the garage. Going out there would have meant missing some of the poker action so I stuck it in the bottom drawer of my dresser. That was just a junk drawer and she'd never have any reason to go in there. I'd move Dick (that's what I decided to call him) out to the garage later.
I went back to watching the tube. As long as I didn't move I could forget about my constant erection for a while and concentrate on something else. I did wonder if I'd have to wind up going to the doctor for treatment if my erection still refused to go down. I never thought I'd consider that a problem.
I got bored with the TV after a while. Also, it didn't distract me from the state of my prick any more. I decided to return to my room for another jack-off session. When I opened my bedroom door I found my mom sitting on my bed and looking at Dick sitting on the dresser. "I could have sworn I put him out of sight, Mom." Perhaps I was mistaken. "I'll get rid of him now," I added.
"Oh, no," Mom said. "Please don't bother. Your friend and I have come to an understanding. He likes it on top of the dresser and I find I don't mind anymore."
"Oh, you discussed it with him?" I asked with a smile. I guessed that was my mother's saying she'd changed her mind. That was nice of her.
"Yes, as a matter of fact I did discuss it with him." Well, that was certainly a change in attitude. Dick could stay put without me being hassled. My room is rather small and Mom brushed past me to get to the door. She couldn't help but feel my boner jutting out.
"S-sorry, Mom," I stammered out. I could feel myself blushing.
"Don't be silly," she replied with a small smile. "It isn't the first time I've felt one of those. You're just being a normal young man." Then she surprised when she said, "Am I the cause of that condition by any chance?"
"No, of course not!" I blurted. I knew I said the wrong thing when Mom put on one of her classic hurt expressions.
"You don't think I'm pretty?"
"Of course I think you're pretty, Mom." That wasn't an issue. Mom was nearing 40 and a little overweight but she was still quite an attractive lady. My buddies who'd been over and met her assured me of that. "Oh gosh! You're making this hard for me." I blushed and Mom snickered with my unintended pun. I'd never seen her tease like that. It almost seemed like she was flirting with me.
"Oh, good," she said. "For a minute there I thought I'd lost my touch." Mom pulled me into an embrace. Her belly was hard up against my boner. She looked at me expectantly as if the next move was mine but I was too shocked to move.
"Take her," said the strange voice in my head. What? I couldn't believe what I'd heard but I didn't have time to worry about that. Mom was rubbing her pelvis against one-eyed Jack and he was jumping with joy. She was trying to seduce me and succeeding very well. Still, I hesitated. What if I'd misread the signals?
"Fuck me," Mom whispered and all doubt vanished. Hell! I didn't care if she was my mother at that point. I was going to fuck her. Instinctively I knew I'd finally be able to cum once I stuck my dick up inside her snatch. The voice promised I'd get my release in the proper manner, right? This had to be the proper manner. She brought her hand down and began to massage my boner. Jeez! I didn't need any more stimulation. I hooked my thumbs into the waistband of her slacks and began to yank them down.
"Hey, is anyone home?" I just about jumped out of my skin. My sister was home. She's always had a knack for great timing. I tried to push Mom away but she now had a death grip on my dong.
"Let go, Mom," I whispered frantically. "Katelyn is home." It seemed Mom could care less and continued to stroke my prick. I could hear Katelyn walking around the house. She could pop her head in any moment. She hardly ever knocks before entering. "Mom! Please!" I didn't want to cause a commotion by pushing her away violently. Well, she finally seemed to wake up and let go of me.
"I'm in Colin's room," Mom called as she and I adjusted our clothing.
"Hi, Mom," Katelyn chirped when she opened the door. "I have to do some laundry. Is it all right if I do it here? Am I in time for lunch? Oh my god! What is that? It's so gross! Are you going to let him keep that? I might be staying here tonight. My roommate is having her boyfriend overnight tonight and he always tries to make a move on me when she's asleep."
"Hello, dear," said Mom. "Yes, you can do the laundry and you're just in time for lunch. This is your brother's new action figure and he's of age so I don't see anything wrong with it as long he doesn't want to display it on the mantelpiece. You know you're always welcome to stay in your old room."
.... There is more of this story ...