Chapter 23

I stopped off at Frank Clooney's office, after leaving my Aunt Donna's house. I told him to inform Aunt Clara that there would be no further funds coming, not to her, and not to her mother. I told Frank to find me a nice older couple in either Florida, Hawaii, or Southern California. I wanted them to be people who were both willing and able to take Anne into their home. They would need to provide her with a clean room, meals, personal grooming care, and a very quiet place for her to live. When he asked me how much he was authorized to spend for her monthly care, I told him any amount necessary, even if it came out to being equal with what we were now paying for her care at the sanitarium.

"I want this to be a nice place for her to live. Do a thorough background check on any couple you decide on. She's had a hard life, and I don't want her victimized or abused any more."

Aunt Clara called me at home a few days later, complaining about how unfair my actions were for her. I listened to her, letting her get everything off her chest before I attempted to make a reply.

"Aunt Clara, you have absolutely no legitimate complaint, and neither does your mother. I'm already taking steps to see to Anne's care. She told me that she doesn't want to see or to live with either of you. Mildred now has a much improved place to live, and, thanks to Uncle Bunny, you have your freedom from the vows you made to the Church. After hearing as much as I have, my sympathy and support will now go only to Anne."

"What am I supposed to do? I gave up everything, to come here to care for them."

"Do whatever you wanted to do before Uncle Bunny asked you to come help care for them. I told Frank to transfer ownership of the car to your name. If you don't want to stay with Mildred, I guess you'll have to go get a real job, and earn your own way."

"I'm very disappointed in you, Kenny. This isn't in keeping with the Lord's values, the ones you were taught at St. Cecelia's."

"Well, Aunt Clara, I'm sorry you feel that way. I do take some small comfort in knowing that I've provided you with an opportunity to forgive me. I remember hearing from someone that our Lord teaches forgiveness." She hung up on me. I needed to start keeping a list of all the people who wound up hanging up on me.

One night Joyce and I were working together. We were trying to decide, from all the applications we'd received, who we wanted to bring in to interview for the new executive director position for the first modular extension of the group homes we'd be building. We had already decided to open up one new modular extension each year, at least until we had a total of twenty group homes. I had decided that was about the limit of what I could successfully care for, both in terms of the personal attention I would be able to give, and the funding that I would be able to currently commit to.

We called each extension a modular one, because they would each be run as independent entities, except that they would all be under the same corporate umbrella, Kansas Communities for Children. I really believed that twenty-four kids, grouped together, was the optimum cut off point. With twenty-four, you could get to know and care for each other. Past that point, it became more difficult to feel connected, as part of an extended family, which was the sort of relationship we wanted to have fostered in our little communities. This way, while there would be one hundred twenty boys in our overall program, only twenty-four of them would be connected together, in any sort of a meaningful way.

"Kenny, the next extension after this one should be for girls." Joyce came up with this from out of nowhere. I didn't even understand what she meant for a minute.

"Girls? What about them?"

"There's plenty of girl orphans too, I'll bet. Why should all of this be only for boys?"

"Because I'm a boy. Because, when I help one of the other boys that are in situations like I was, I feel like I'm doing something to say thank you to my Uncle Bunny. The whole idea was to rescue certain kinds of boys, from orphanages, and to then try to find adoptive parents for them."

"That's another thing. Have you talked to any of the boys lately about being adopted?"

"No, but I already know that's what they want."

"Why, because that's what you wanted?"

"Because we all wanted that. We wanted to be chosen, so we'd have our own family. That's always been the goal, to find a new family, a place where you can belong."

"If that's the goal, then you've screwed up, Kenny. Most of the boys I talked to are afraid someone is going to try to take them away from the group homes now. We do have our first two adoption requests though. Jimmy and David from Henry and Dana's house."

"Already? I didn't even know we were allowing interviews for adoption yet. Have we investigated the people? Are the boys going to stay together, or will they be separated? Jimmy isn't going to want to leave his brother."

"They'll be together. Henry and Dana want to adopt them."

"They can't. House parents can't have children of their own."

"Why is that?"

"Room. No more than six children in each home. If they adopt the boys, we'll only have room for four other boys there."

"Kenny, stop for a minute and just try to listen to yourself. Henry and Dana love those boys, and the boys love them too. They've found a home, and a family that loves them. So what if there's only four other boys there? Are you worrying about the number of boys you help, or about the happiness of the boys? This is a very good thing that's happening. I'd be very surprised if some of the other house parents don't feel the same way. I know that Annabelle is scared to death that someone is going to adopt Ray, right out from under her nose."

"Having house parents adopt is a dangerous idea, Joyce. Suppose they quit, they'll take the boys with them."

"Why is that bad? When the adoption goes through, those are their sons. Of course they'll take them, and then we'll hire two new house parents, and have openings for two more boys."

It was taking me a few minutes to adjust to what she was saying. I realized with a moment of startling clarity, that I had started to feel like those were my boys, and I was very concerned about any change in their status. If I wasn't so upset by the news, I would have laughed at myself for feeling like that.

"I need to think about what you said. Maybe you're right."

"About the adoptions, or about us needing an extension for girls?"

"I don't know anything about girls, especially young ones. I wouldn't even know how to begin."

"It's pretty simple, build a new extension, just like for the boys, but instead of boys, we'll move girls in there."

"Tell me why I'd want to do it?"

"Kenny, girls who are orphans have the same hopes that boys do. It isn't fair that you only want to help boys."

"If we did that, you'd have to be in charge of it, Joyce. I could take care of some of the money part for you, but I can't see myself going to the arcade with a small pack of little girls. You'd have to be their big sister. I'm sure Mama would help."

"Do you really mean it? Mama said it would take me at least a month to talk you into it."

"Did you know Sandy has been training, and getting foster parents licensed, on the side, to take in her little kids? Do you think it will make her any less efficient in her work for us?"

"I knew. I'm surprised that you know though. To answer your other question, I don't see why it should. Besides, you were the one who gave her the idea anyway, when you told her to go open her own group homes with her own money."

"That wasn't what I meant when I said it."

"Kenny, you've been very grouchy lately. Everybody has noticed it too. You need to go out and find somebody. Quickly."

"I'm fine. If I'm grouchy, it's because things keep coming at me so quickly. The last thing I need is what you're suggesting."

"Mama says it isn't healthy for you to try to deny your nature. She says you'll get all backed up, and start making poor decisions."

"Mama likes to meddle. I'm fine. I don't need any distractions."

"Mama says you're going to turn out just like your Dad. She didn't mean it in a good way either. She meant you were going to become all business like he is, with no time for anything else."

"She should like that just fine then. If something happens to my Dad, I'm probably the one who's going to take over. She wouldn't want somebody running things who wasn't totally focused on making more money for her."

"You don't really believe that?"

"I've seen her encouraging him to do even more work than he already does."

"Because she knows he loves doing that. The same way she listens to all his business talk at dinner, and encourages him to be more important and influential in the business community. She does that to make him happy, not to make money off of him."

"Believe that if you want to, Joyce, but I've seen and heard some of their fights. Even Uncle Bunny admitted that they put up with Dad for years, just because he was such a good earner for them. They even threatened to fire him, and Mama was going to divorce him, so that he couldn't collect some money that they would have owed him if they sold their company."

"This is why you're suspicious of her motives for thinking you should go out and find a girl for sex?"

"No, I'm not suspicious of her motives for that. I meant for her pretending to be concerned that I'll end up like Dad, working all the time. She encourages that in him."

"Have you changed your mind about me?" I knew what she meant as soon as she said it. I had been expecting it. It was like waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"No. You're still my sister, Joyce. We've already had to go through this once, and it was pretty painful, as I remember it."