Chapter 1

Uncle Bunny had just been cremated the day before, and there was a small, private, inurnment ceremony in the family burial ground. Mama had invited Mrs. Connor and Brenda to the ceremony, not realizing, at the time, that Mrs. Connor's lawsuit would be filed and recorded up in Bolling, in less than twenty four hours.

Mama had made sure that I stayed close to Elizabeth, and so I found myself standing at the cemetery, with Shirley on one side and Elizabeth on the other. Brenda, and her mother, were being kept close to Mama. Hans and Gerta were there, standing right behind Mama. Dad had been circulating among two of Uncle Bunny's lawyer friends, and Grace and Jane.

We were just about ready to get the ceremony started, when Bea, showed up. Talk about your unexpected surprises. I recognized her just as soon as she stepped out of old Ernie's broken down taxicab. Ernie was a town monument, having operated a taxi service in Ridgeline for more than thirty years.

Seeing me, Bea smiled and waved, and started walking uncertainly, up the grassy slope. She had only taken about ten steps or so, before she stopped, and removed her high heels. Holding one in each hand, she started making her way up to where the rest of us stood. I couldn't resist smiling. This was so like Bea, I thought. For her to make a flamboyant entrance like she had. Uncle Bunny would have appreciated it too.

It took Bea another three minutes or so to climb the slight incline to the family plot. We were at the top of the steepest hill in Ridgeline. It must have been a full twenty five feet higher than the rest of the town. It was too bad that they used it as the cemetery, because, in the winter, it would have been a good place for kids to go sledding. When Bea opened the little wrought iron gate and stepped into the Chalmers family plot, I left Shirley and Elizabeth and went over to greet her and bring her over to where we were.

"Damn, Slick, you've really been growing. How mad is the old lady going to be that I came to this shindig?"

"Are you referring to Mrs. Parsons, Bea? If you are, I thought we had a deal? How did you find out about Uncle Bunny dying?"

"Gerta phoned me the day it happened. Hell of a thing. I was planning on coming back out this way soon anyway, so I hopped on the bus and here I am. Hell of a trip too. What did he die of? Gerta didn't know when I spoke to her."

"Some kind of blood clot in his head. This is Elizabeth, and this is Shirley. Elizabeth was living with Uncle Bunny when he died."

"I cooked for him, and straightened things out around the house." Elizabeth didn't seem to know who Bea was. I didn't think Uncle Bunny had mentioned her.

"That's nice. I never cooked for him, but I was known to straighten something out for him too, but there's a lot of water under that bridge. What did you say this long drink of water's name was, Kid?" Bea was giving Shirley one of her long, interested, looks. It looked like she thought Shirley was a big, tasty, morsel. I nearly made a comment to Shirley, about how I told her I wasn't the only one that wanted her. I didn't though.

"Her name is Shirley, Bea. She's my girlfriend, and she just turned sixteen. Hands off."

"How about those two there? Aren't they a couple?" She was pointing over at Jane and Grace when she asked me that.

"That's Jane and Grace, and yes, they are a couple. They stayed with us last summer, and they're working for Mama as soon as the golf learning center opens. I think they're ready to start the ceremony now. Are you coming to the house with us, after this is over?"

"I don't know. I left all my stuff over at the diner. I haven't really made any arrangements for anything yet."

"You'll stay with us, in your old room."

There was a small, not particularly religious offering made by one of Uncle Bunny's lawyer friends, and then it was Dad's turn to speak. He spoke of the statistics of his friends life, but not about the man. I guess he didn't feel comfortable undressing emotionally out in public yet. I hadn't been planning on saying anything, but I didn't want to have a ceremony with nobody celebrating Uncle Bunny's life, or who he was to all of us. I took a few steps forward, and then I started to speak.

"Uncle Bunny was a warm and wonderful man, everyone liked him. That was a good thing too, because he liked everybody right back. He enjoyed every day of his life, finding something to laugh at, and something interesting to do or see, it didn't matter where he went, because he always brought the banquet with him. He could go out on the golf course and shoot a score of one twenty, and then he'd sit in the clubhouse later, happily talking about a ten foot putt that he'd sunk for a triple bogey. He didn't keep score the same way that most people do. He was different in other ways too. Normally, people start out looking pretty good, and then, as they get older, they lose their looks, and then they die. Not Uncle Bunny. He dieted and exercised daily, for his last few months of his life. In the process of doing that, he dropped over fifty pounds of body weight. He was making himself as healthy and good looking as he possibly could. He loved life, he loved his friends, and his family. All his life, he loved women. He always wanted to please people, to make their lives a little bit better for having known him. He came into my life one day, less than two years ago. He was a complete stranger to me, and yet he came and rescued me. He was the first person I ever really trusted, and because of him, I can stand here like this, and tell all of you that I loved him. He gave me so much, and I never told him how much I appreciated all the things he'd made possible to me. Thank you, Uncle Bunny for choosing me, for loving me, and for helping me to learn to love you and others too."

It wasn't much, but at least it wasn't all cold, hard, facts and figures. Uncle Bunny hadn't been a numbers person, he was a people person. I led Bea over to Hans and Gerta and told them she'd be coming home with them. Mama came over and said hello to Bea and thanked her for coming. I noticed that Dad was wisely keeping his distance. I had driven out from school to attend the inurnment, but I had to get back in order to study for my Calculus final the next morning. I took Elizabeth and Shirley with me, after going over and saying a few words to Grace and Jane. They were driving back to Bolling, and had taken a day off from school to come pay their last respects to Uncle Bunny, and to give some comfort to Mama. We stopped off at Shirley's house to drop her off, and then I drove Elizabeth over to Uncle Bunny's house.

All of us had invited her to come over to our house, but she said she wanted to stay in Uncle Bunny's place for a little while longer.

"So that was Bea, Kenny? Bunny spoke of her often. She's very voluptuous, isn't she?"

"If that means huge tits, then yes, she is. You know that Uncle Bunny really liked you a lot? You made him comfortable. Mama said she could tell how much he liked you, and it made her jealous. She isn't jealous anymore. Uncle Bunny asked us to help take care of you if anything happened to him."

"I don't need taking care of, Kenny. I didn't stay with Bunny to be taken care of. We helped each other. I had to learn how to finally come to terms with the death of my late husband, and to start looking forward, instead of only looking back to the past. Bunny helped me to do that. The sex was an added bonus for both of us. He was very mellow. I couldn't ever smoke enough to get as mellow as he was, even when he first woke up in the morning. That was very sweet what you said about him today. He had this problem with believing that he ever made any real, meaningful difference with his life. Those two heart attacks really made him think about stuff like that. He got such a big kick out of you. He said you were going to do something big with your life, that you had all the tools you'd ever need."

"I wish I'd said something like that to him, when he was still around to hear me. He did so much for me, and I never even thanked him."

"Remember what you said about Bunny not keeping score like other people? He bragged about you all the time to me, about how smart you were, and how well you were getting along with your father. He couldn't have been prouder of you, even if you were his own son. Everything you ever did well, that was the same as you thanking him. I think Bunny knew he wasn't going to be here too much longer. I think he worried less about Tom and Bertie, knowing you'd be there if he couldn't be."