Sam is a wonderful husband, a good provider and he loves me and I have never doubted it for one minute. But Sam is not all that great in bed. Barely adequate, but barely adequate doesn't cut it when you are young and have the strong sexual desires that I have. I have found something that helps take the edge off my sexual hunger - no, I better be honest here - that satisfies me completely and allows me to accept Sam as he is. I love him, I really do, but sex is a very powerful urge and a girl has to do what a girl has to do.
As I said, I have found something that works for me, but that something brings with it a problem. In order to be able to do what I want to do I have to get past Sam. Sam is insanely jealous and possessive and my leaving the house to go and get sexually satisfied would ring all kinds of alarm bells where he is concerned. But I know my Sam and I know that I can work it so that I can get what I want without Sam feeling threatened. What I had to do was get it out in the open in a way that would make Sam rest easy.
"So, will you help me on this?"
"I don't know girlfriend. What if he blabs it around?"
"He won't. You know him Mary; he is a great guy. He wouldn't talk about you. He'd look at you differently, but that's all."
"That's what I don't get about this. He is a great guy so why take a chance on losing him over this. We can keep it in the dark and he'll never know."
"There is no chance of that happening, at least not if you help me."
"All right sweetie, but don't blame me if this blows up in your face."
The trick was to get the timing right. The call had to come when Sam was either in the garage or the basement by the extension phones and Sam had to pick up the phone just a fraction of a second after I answered it and then hear enough to make him want to stay on the line to see what else he could hear. I spent days trying to figure out how to make it happen, but I finally concluded that it wasn't going to work - too hit or miss. The solution came to me, from of all places, a television soap opera. I was watching TV while folding clothes and on the screen Chad walked in while Laura was talking to her lover on the phone. Laura saw Chad and immediately said, "Got to go. Talk to you later."
Her manner fairly invited suspicion and Chad asked, "Who was that?"
"Oh that. It was just Ann. We were discussing Martha's baby shower."
Chad clearly didn't believe her and you could see it on his face as the screen faded to commercials. That was it! That was the way to do it. Make Sam suspicious enough so that he wanted to eavesdrop. That afternoon I made sure that I was standing with phone in hand when Sam got home. Trying to look guilty as hell I quickly said, "Have to go. Talk to you later" and I hung up the phone. I got no reaction from Sam, but then it was too soon - it would take a couple of days to hook him. That night at dinner there was a pre-arranged phone call from Mary and I let Sam take the call. He said hello three times before he hung up. "Funny. I could hear breathing, but no one said anything." A first step and a couple of bigger ones already planned for the next day.
The next day the first call was going to take some pretty good timing. I had Mary on my cell phone when I heard Sam pull into the garage. As soon as I heard the car door slam I counted off three seconds and said, "Now" and then turned off the cell phone. The phone rang just as I saw the doorknob begin turning I answered it. "Hello? Oh hi baby" I said just as Sam entered the room and then I quickly said, "Sorry, you must have the wrong number" and hung up the phone. This time I saw something register on sam's face. Next came step two for the day. It was sam's bowling night and he was usually out of the house and on his way to the alleys by seven-thirty. While he was changing clothes I went out into the garage and let the air out of his left rear tire. Sam hates my little compact so I knew he would change the tire rather than take my car. When he was ready to go he kissed me goodbye and left. I heard the "Oh shit, fuck me!" all the way in the living room. It was fifteen minutes after the time he usually left before he was done changing the tire and as soon as I heard the trunk slam shut I told Mary, who was already on my cell phone, "Now" and disconnected. The phone rang just as Sam came through the door and I answered it, said sorry wrong number and then hung up. I saw Sam glance over at me and the expression on his face told me that he thought something was rotten in Denmark.
The night wasn't over yet and if I knew Sam as well as I thought I did I knew what would happen next. Sure enough, at nine-ten the phone rang and caller ID showed that it was sam's cell phone. I smiled and let the phone keep on ringing. There was another call from sam's cell at ten-fifteen and one more at eleven-twenty. I didn't answer either of them. What I did do was at ten-thirty I backed my car out of the garage and left it running in the driveway for forty-five minutes and then I pulled it back into the garage. When Sam got home at eleven-thirty he was sure to hear the snap, crackle and pop sound the engine made as it cooled down and if I was lucky he might even put his hand on the hood to see if it was warm.
I was watching from the window when Sam pulled into the drive and I rushed upstairs and hurriedly got in the shower. I have never since Sam and I got married showered at night. I always shower in the morning. If the combination of wrong numbers, unanswered phone when I was supposed to be home, hot car in the garage and me in a shower at night didn't get sam's mind working overtime, nothing would. Sam was in the bedroom undressing when I came out of the shower. He looked over at me, "Did you go out tonight?"
"No. Watched some TV and read for a while, why?"
"Nothing. Just wondered."
I smiled inwardly -"Gotcha!"