Strip Quiz

by Horatio

Caution: This Humor Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa, .

Desc: Humor Sex Story: A foolish young man plans to part a lovely young blonde from her clothes. Does he succeed? Read on and find out!



"Golly, Guy! Just look at that unbelievable vision.! Are we both dead and gone to Heaven, or is that incredible woman sitting over there really flesh and blood, in all its warmth and glory?"

Two friends were strolling around the park near their respective offices. The subject of their conversation was seated on a low wall eating her lunch and chatting to a couple of other girls, both of whom seemed entranced by both her company and her conversation.

"Actually it's Gloria West." replied Guy to his best chum, Jake. "She's had all the guys eating out of her hand ever since she joined the firm. I don't know what she does to justify her existene, apart from satisfy the insatiable lusts of our worthy Chairman, but she must obviously do that incredibly well!"

"I can hardly credit it! To have found myself so blessedly near such sheer physical perfection!" replied Jake, excitedly. "I would be willing to die - to be struck dead in an instant - just for one blessed glimpse of that divine body without a stitch of clothing!"

"I bet!" replied Guy. " It does seem wrong that Nature's cunning handiwork should be hidden from our eyes. The Lord who designed that frame must surely have meant it to be seen in all its glory!"

"I know I want to see her in all her glory!" replied Jake. "In fact I will devote all my efforts to that end until I have gained my heart's desire. Try to think of a way, Guy old fellow. You won't let me down, will you? I mean, it's in your interests as well - the interests of all true red-blooded men every where!"

Time was pressing and the two friends parted to return to their respective places of work. Jake had to cross over the River to get to his office, but Guy - lucky fellow - worked in the City itself. Guy soon caught up with Gloria and her friends. He had opportunity to study her at some length as he fell into step behind the glamorous trio.

She was certainly a stunning girl. Long golden hair cascaded over those sweet shoulders, bare in the summer heat and down her slim back. He noticed that she did not favour the navel displaying garb of her two friends, both of whose tanned midriffs gleamed with a light sweat as the trio hurried back to work. Another surprise was her legs, visible only from inches below the knee and clearly encased in tights, again unlike the other two - and also unlike almost one hundred per cent of the other business women on this warm summer day. Gloria was no exhibitionist! Either that, or she was a bit of a tease.

He could see quite clearly how Jake had become obsessed with removing those conservative clothes and seeing for himself just what delights they were hiding. He resolved to help his old friend, as much for his own sake as Jake's!


Later that day, Jake's phone rang.

"Hi, Jake! Guy here! I've found out where Gloria lives! Aren't you glad you have friends like me! She has a flat up in Highgate - very posh place in a mansion block right on the top of the hill, not far from where Coleridge once lived."

"Who lived?"

"The poet. Never mind. That's near where you hang out I think?"

"Right! The other side of the Heath. I often go over there for a drink. Some nice pubs in Highgate. Maybe I'll wander over that way tonight. It's a nice day, after all!"

Jake could scarcely contain his excitement for the rest of that day. Ever since seeing that fair-haired lovely the previous Thursday, all his thoughts had been centred on the aim of removing her clothes and seeing the sweet silky skinned loveliness that lay beneath them. At night he fantasised about her firm and perfectly formed breasts and ripe young buttocks. It was only right and proper that all this goodness should be there for him to feast his eyes upon! What else were decorative bimbos such as the fair Gloria for?

As soon as he had finished his evening meal, cooked by himself and not to his satisfaction - cooking was not a man's job!- he set off on a walk across Hampstead Heath to Highgate and his favourite watering hole in that salubrious hill town overlooking London's immensity.

On his way he saw many marvellous young examples of womanhood lying on the grass trying to capture the rest of the sun's rays and add to the richness of their tans before evening took the orb of Phoebus to warm and darken the skin of maidens in the Antipodes. He saw a lot of luscious female flesh as he walked towards Highgate, but none of these recumbent beauties could even begin to take his mind off the lovely Gloria!

He reached the Bishop's Palace at long last and ordered a pint of his favourite bitter. He took a sip and moved to his habitual seat at the rear. He had loved this place for a couple of years, even though the new manager had seen fit to discontinue the striptease act that had drawn him here in the first place. He had not been sitting there long when Bill, the assistant manager joined him.

"Hi, Jake!" said Bill.

"Hi, Bill!" said Jake.

"It's not the same since the strippers were taken off!" complained Bill. "It's lost us a lot of trade."

"Why did your new boss stop it?"

"It was getting a bit rowdy at times. The local Police were making threatening noises - though some of the most appreciative punters were from the local Nick!"

"Bloody hypocrites!" said Jake automatically. His thoughts were not on the bodies of the now unemployed ladies! He was thinking of Gloria! Then Gloria came in with a girl friend! His heart went into overdrive - so much so that he feared for his life. He placed his glass shakily on the table. Bill followed his gaze and whistled softly.

"Fuck me, Jake! Get an eyeful of that honey!"

"I know! She must be just about the most beautiful girl in the entire world. I know her name. She's called Gloria and I have this thing about seeing her naked!"

"You and a few million others! If only we still ran our striptease show! We could ask her to come and do an act!"

"Don't they need to be members of Equity or something?"

"Maybe you're right. Well, I must get on with my work. Nice talking to you, Jake."

"And you, Bill!"

Jake sat looking in Gloria's direction for some minutes. Then he forced himself to Act! He got up and walked boldly over to her table. He fixed the pair with what he fondly imagined to be a friendly grin, but was more a painful facial contortion.

"Hi! I think we have a mutual acquaintance! I mean Guy. He and I are great mates and we saw you and some friends in the City the other day. Made my week, never mind my day!"

"Yes, I saw you with Guy. He's a nice fellow. Won't you join us? I'm Gloria and this is Natalie."

Jake could scarcely believe his good luck! He'd never had the nerve to do a thing like this before! Now that he had established relations with such ease he felt halfway to his goal already! The three conversed for maybe half an hour and Gloria got up to leave, saying how nice it had been to talk to Guy and how they must meet again soon.

"Maybe we could have a drink in the City sometime!" he managed to gasp.

"That would be lovely!" gushed Gloria, reddening prettily.

"Tomorrow?" asked Jake, wondering if her were not pushing his luck just a bit too far!

"Half-past twelve in the Lamb and Flag. See you!" and she was gone, together with Natalie, leaving Jake in a state midway between the ecstatic and the thunderstruck.

"What the fuck did you agree to see that creep again for?" asked an astounded Natalie as they walked back to Gloria's flat where Natalie was staying.

"I don't know, Nat! I just have a feeling about the fellow. Not a nice feeling either! The way he was undressing me with his eyes! Gross! It was just the same last Thursday when he and that pitiful friend Guy were following me and the others back to the office. I feel like stringing him along for a while. I'm bored these days and this could be a bit of a diversion!"

"Well - I hope you know what you're doing!"

"I always know what I'm doing, Natalie darling. You're the one I worry about!"

"I'm fine, Gloria. It's been a rough few months, but I'm fine now - honestly!"

Gloria looked sideways at her best friend, still pale and thin. It wasn't the pallor that worried her. Something was wrong with dear Natalie and the lovely blonde was glad she was staying with her where she could keep an eye on her.

Jake, meanwhile, was on his way home, walking on air. When he had set out earlier that evening he could never have imagined his expedition would have been so wildly successful. That night he dreamt of Gloria and of how he was removing layer after layer of clothing. Sadly, though, no matter how many layers he removed, there was always another underneath. When he woke up in the morning, all the bedclothes were in a tangled mass and he was lying on the bed totally uncovered.


"Hi, you two! Mind if I join you?" Guy had spotted Jake with Gloria and felt it incumbent upon him to spoil his mate's little idyll! What are friends for!

"I see you two have got acquainted, then! Jake took a real shine to you, Gloria, the other day. I think you've made a conquest!"

Jake and Gloria both laughed in what Jake hoped was a casual way. Gloria was having much more success in being casual than poor Jake! His face was turning a very unattractive shade of crimson. Could these two be in league together? NO! Guy was a friend from way back. It was just that he wanted a chance to ogle Gloria - and who could blame him?

The lunchtime drink came to an end, far too soon for Jake and Guy, but not a second too soon for Gloria. Guy hoped to walk back to the office with her, but she pleaded another engagement and left the two friends alone.

"You're right, Jake!" said Guy. "We must get that chick out of her clothes somehow! There's GOT to be a legal way to do it! I wonder if she belongs to a Sun Club?"

"Doubt it!" said a doleful Jake. After his initial success he was getting nowhere! The two parted and Jake muddled his way through the remainder of the day. Just before leaving for the night, his phone rang.

He was tempted to ignore it. Too often he had picked up the phone just before going home and found himself trapped by some garrulous idiot who seemed to think Jake had no home to go to! He was glad he had answered when he heard Gloria's voice!

"Hi, Jake! Sorry I had to dash off earlier on. How about if I come over to your side of the river tomorrow? There's a nice little pub I know in the Borough Market. It's called The Wheat Sheaf. See you. Same time! Bye!"

An overjoyed Jake put the phone down after blurting out his promise to be there. It was a bit much the way this girl was making all the running, but he was not inclined to resent this rebuff to his maleness! There would be plenty of time in future to correct this imbalance! She was obviously smitten with him and unable to act the passive female role. He would teach her in time!

On returning home he decided not to walk over to Highgate. After almost poisoning himself with a more than usually awful meal (Jake was a rotten cook) he went up to the Three Horseshoes and had a couple of pints of ale.

Once again he dreamt of Gloria and once again there seemed to be no end to the layers of clothing to be stripped off her.

The meeting in Borough Market was a bit of a disappointment. Gloria apologised and said she had to leave early to do an errand for her boss. There was one good thing that came out of it, though!

Later that day, Jake once again finished off his evening meal and this time it was delicious! He had mentioned to Gloria that he was going to cook lamb that evening and she had scribbled down a few directions on the back of an envelope. Not without difficulty he followed these directions to the letter. The result was out of this world!

Gloria might be a bird-brained blonde bimbo, but she sure as hell knew a thing or two about cooking! But she would, of course. Even air-heads can cook!

After finishing his delicious meal he thought about Gloria. He had asked her if she would be in the "Bishops Palace" that evening but she had been non-committal. He decided to take a chance on it. Half-way across the Heath a thought struck him. How had she known his number. Come to that, how did she know his surname? Surely he had only introduced himself as Jake? She must have asked Guy, of course!

Gloria was not in the pub, but he saw her friend Natalie with a large young man who seemed to be paying her a great deal of attention. His friend, the barman, came and joined him.

"We are thinking about setting up a pub quiz evening, Jake. Interested in helping organise it?"

"I suppose so." replied Jake, looking at Natalie and the stranger. He did not sound too interested, but Bill's next words really made him sit up!

"We were thinking of having a Ladies Night to kick off with, with a stripping penalty for wrong answers. We had a licence for that sort of thing, as you know, and it's still valid. Any lady friends of yours that you could persuade to come along for a bit of a laugh would be more than welcome!"

And Jake saw the answer to all his problems! He'd somehow get Gloria to come along. He would volunteer to set the questions and make sure that the lovely airhead got all the most difficult ones! That sweet luscious flesh would be exposed for all to see in just a few brief and glorious minutes!

And then reality set in! She would never agree! It had been very warm these last few weeks and Gloria had made very few concessions to the heat. She had bare arms, it was true, but those long and well shaped legs were still only visible from about three inches below the knee. She relied on loose-fitting clothing in this weather, and a large floppy hat to keep off the sun. It made her look lovely - Jake was forced to admit that - but how much lovelier she would be if she bared a bit of flesh like her friends!

And then Jake saw something odd about Natalie! He nudged Bill, who looked in her direction. Natalie was looking about her furtively. Her companion had removed his jacket and put it over the seat behind him. He got up and made for the toilets. The amazed pair saw Natalie lift the wallet from the man's jacket and put it hurriedly in her own handbag, which she snapped shut hurriedly and with every appearance of guilt.

Soon the young man came back. Natalie kissed him on the forehead and rose to her feet and left, leaving the walletless young man to finish his drink. Before the pair could recover from their amazement, he drank up and left. Jake had an idea!

Next day Jake was again phoned by the lovely Gloria and they met at the same place. He asked her if she would like to take part in the quiz.

"Not on your life, Jake! That's just not my scene."

"What - quizzing or stripping!" joked Jake.

"Both!"

Jake let the matter drop for a few minutes. He changed the subject.

"I saw your friend in the "Bishop's Palace" last night. Doing a bit of pick pocketing!"

Gloria went pale. "Are you sure about this, Jake?"

"Two of us saw her."

"She's been through such a bad time these last months. She was kidnapped and kept in a tiny cupboard for weeks before the police finally rescued her. She was working in Spain at the time, so maybe you never got to read about it. The poor thing is still shattered. Please don't say anything about this to anyone! I'll talk to her and get it sorted out. Whatever she took will be returned. I promise. I've been so worried about her. If she were to be reported to the police - I really think it could kill her!"

Later that night, Gloria and Natalie were having a chat. Gloria was holding Natalie's handbag and Natalie looked close to tears.

"You've no right looking into my things like that. Give it back to me!"

Gloria ignored her and opened the bag, spilling its contents on the table. She picked up the wallet - the sole item that was not Natalie's - and looked into it. She handed it back to Natalie.

"Well. If it's his, I suppose that's something between the two of you. Although I have an interest too! What were you playing at, darling?"

Natalie sniffed. "I don't know, Gloria. I suppose I thought it was a bit silly of him leaving it where anyone could take it! I thought I'd teach him a lesson!"

Gloria looked relieved. But she was also angry.

"Thanks to you being seen by a couple of people, my love, I have agreed to take part in some nasty piece of exhibitionist vulgarity on Friday of this week." She explained how Jake had virtually blackmailed her into taking part.

"You can back out, Gloria. Now you know I'm not a kleptomaniac!"

"I made a promise to that little atrocious little tick. Funny thing about me, but I keep promises, however dubious the means of getting them out of me! You can come along and watch if you like! I'd value a bit of moral support!"

"OK, Gloria. How many clothes will you be starting off with?"

"I have a list here, sweetheart. Shoes, no stockings, a blouse, a bra, a skirt and panties. I get the idea that friend Jake is jerking himself off every night imagining me losing them all!"

"I suppose you'll be bound to lose something, Gloria! But so what? What have you got to be ashamed of?"

"Nothing, Natalie. I have a swell body! Just that I'm a bit discriminating about who gets to see it! My list of favoured people is very short. In fact, as far as the male sex is concerned, it consists of one person and one person alone! You know who THAT is! But, never mind, sweetheart! Things will be fine, I don't doubt!"

Next day a parcel landed on Jake's desk, courtesy of Special Delivery. He opened it and found two large tomes, each entitled "Quiz Questions". There was a note from the manager of the "Bishop's Palace" explaining how Jake was to set about his task.

"There will be four contestants, all female and all very lovely. (especially your gorgeous nominee) You will prepare a list of thirty questions for each lady and hand them to me before the quiz starts. If none of them are bare arse naked by the time all questions have been asked, then you will not be too popular! Make sure you ask a few stinkers! I think you can guess the one we all most want to see in the buff! Go for it, Jake!"

The next three days dragged for Jake and Guy! Each night both of them dreamt of a naked Gloria, resplendent in all her golden skinned and fair haired splendour. Jake still found that the dream Gloria never seemed to lose her clothes, but Friday was the night of destiny! At long last, it arrived.

Guy sat next to Jake at the front of the large function room. On the stage, once graced by a succession of strippers, stood four girls. Three were dark-haired and nice to look at. One was fair haired and a wonder of wonders to behold! The manager, full of self-importance, explained the rules.

"This is a stripping quiz, ladies and gentleman. And I am sure you'd all like to extend a warm welcome to tonight's four lovely contestants. I'm sure we all hope to see more of them in the future!"

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