It has been said many, many times - God knows I'd heard it enough - that the best revenge is to live well. For some of us that just won't work. The way the divorce courts are loaded in the woman's favor a man is lucky if he can live at all when the dust settles, let alone live well. I've seen a lot of guys go into divorce court and come out raped and bleeding and sheared like a sheep. No, if I wanted revenge it would have to be something other than living well. Why was I wanting revenge? Well, that's the story.
Sandy, my wife of ten years and the mother of my two children, decided that she wanted to go back to work after Ben (8) and Marie (6) started going to school full time. She got a job as a parts runner for a large nationally known auto parts store. Her job was to deliver parts from the store to auto repair places. She seemed to like the job and the people she worked with. I met some of them at her company Christmas party and they seemed like a nice enough bunch. The parts store was one block from a bar and one night a week, usually a Wednesday, Sandy would stop with her co-workers for a couple of drinks before heading home and on those nights I would take care of dinner and see to it the kids got to bed on time.
A couple of years went by and then Sandy started talking about leaving the job and having another baby. I was not too keen on that idea. I loved the two we had to death, but I really did not want another one. I told her that I thought two was enough, but she kept after me for one more. Knowing how single minded she could be about some things I knew she would keep hacking away at me until I either caved in and gave her what she wanted or said something that would instantly turn the house into a deep freeze. I was trying to avoid getting into a knock down dragged out argument with Sandy on the subject, but she was getting more and more upset with me using condoms every time we made love and I knew things were going to come to a head soon.
Then my job offered me a way out. I was asked if I would be willing to fly to Denver and spend two weeks auditing the Denver office. I jumped at it. My first day in Denver I called the Planned Parenthood League and got the number of a clinic where I could get a vasectomy and when I flew back to Detroit two weeks later the deed had been done and I had the number of a clinic where I could have tests done. I would continue to use condoms until I'd had two tests in a row telling me that I was sterile and then I would throw up my hands and say, "Okay Sandy, you win" and then I would hand her the condoms and tell her to throw them away.
It was a Tuesday and I had just gotten the results of my last sperm test and it was the first one that showed me being sterile. I have no idea why I decided to go home for lunch that day since it is something that I almost never did. When I pulled onto my street I saw two pick up trucks with the parts company logo on them parked in our drive. I figured that Sandy had come home for lunch and had invited one of her co-workers to join her. As soon as I walked in the front door I knew that Sandy had not come home for lunch. With no one else home I guess she hadn't felt the need to close the bedroom door and I heard as plain as could be:
"Fuck me lover, fuck me."
I was so stunned I just stood there for maybe a minute as the sounds from the upstairs bedroom floated down to me. I heard Sandy beg and plead with her lover to make her cum, to fuck her harder, to "Ram your big cock into me."
Anger finally pushed it's way through to the front of my brain and I clenched my fist as I headed for the stairs. I was almost at the top of the staircase when something in the back of my head told me to calm down, be rational and think it through. There was going to be a divorce, no question about that, but if I ran into the bedroom and beat the fuck out of the guy and tossed Sandy out of the house I could end up in jail for assault and battery and when we got to court it would be a case of he said/she said. I would have gotten some personal satisfaction out of the deal, but the way the courts were I'd come out a loser in the end. In short, I would win today's battle, but lose the war. I went back down the stairs as quietly as I could, not that any noise I might have made would have been heard over the racket coming from the bedroom, and I quietly left the house.
I got the numbers off both of the trucks and then I drove away. I called work and arranged for the rest of the day off and then I drove over to the parts store and parked where I could watch the place. At three I saw Sandy pull up, park her truck and go into the store. I marked the number of her truck off my list and waited. Another truck showed up five minutes later, but the truck number didn't match the number on my list. At five minutes to four truck H-7 pulled up and the driver got out. I recognized him from the last Christmas party we had attended. His name was Kevin and he didn't know it yet, but he had fucked up big time when he decided to help himself to my wife.
That night I called home and told Sandy I was going to have to stay late on a project and that she shouldn't wait up for me. The next morning I was up and out of the house before Sandy woke up and when I got to work I got the name of a divorce attorney who was supposed to be pretty good and I made an appointment to see him and he got me in that same afternoon. The news was all bad. It didn't matter what grounds I used when I sued for divorce she would still get half of everything we had. In all probability I would end up paying her attorney's fees and all the court costs and since I made more than she did I would likely end up paying alimony - called 'separate maintenance' in our state. Also, unless I could prove that she was totally unfit she would also get the kids and child support.
"It doesn't matter that she is committing adultery?"
"Not at all. The best you can hope for is a sympathetic judge who will order her to pay her own attorneys fees and half the court costs and only then if you have rock solid evidence of her adultery. If the adultery is blatant enough it might, just might, help you get custody of the kids, but that is a long shot."
I left his office felling like death warmed over. I was screwed and there was nothing I could do about it. By the time I got home that night I had accepted the fact that I was hosed as far as the legal side of the equation went, but I had also decided that I didn't have to just lay down - I could do some serious revenge taking. When I pulled into the driveway and parked I sat in the car for a minute getting a good grip on myself. I was going to have to walk into the house and behave as if everything was normal. I was going to have to make sure that the bitch had no idea that I had any idea of what she had been doing and I was going to have to play that role until I could figure out how to stick it to her.
Three weeks later I got the second test verifying that I was sterile and as I was reading it I had the germ of an idea on how I could take my revenge on Sandy. Kevin was about my size and had the same color hair. What if he got Sandy pregnant? I had my test results showing that I was sterile so a DNA check would show that any baby Sandy had wasn't mine. If that wasn't solid proof of adultery I don't know what else would be. The question was would Sandy let Kevin do her bareback if I tossed out the condoms and pretended to want to make another baby? I guessed we would just have to find out.
That night I made a big production out of taking the condoms out of my dresser drawer and handing them to Sandy.
"Here you go baby, throw them away. I've decided to let you have what you want. You want another baby so lets go for it."
She tossed the rubbers in the wastebasket in the bathroom and then pushed me back on the bed and did something she rarely did - she went down on me. When she had me as hard as it was ever going to get she got on the bed next to me, spread her legs wide and giggled:
"Make my belly swell lover, blow me up like a balloon."
For the next six months we fucked like sex crazed rabbits. On the three days before her most fertile time, the day itself and the three days after we fucked until I couldn't get it up anymore. During that same seven-day period each month I would drive by my house over my lunch hour and there would always be two parts company trucks in the drive.
But nothing happened.
Either Kevin was as sterile as I was or Sandy was making him use a rubber or having him pull out before he shot. Sandy was getting frustrated. She wanted that baby and couldn't understand why it wasn't happening. For the first two it seemed like all I had to do was walk into the room and look at her and she was pregnant. I was getting frustrated too. I wanted to be rid of the cheating whore, but I wanted her pregnant with someone else's kid when I left.
One night after work I stopped for beers with one of my best buddies from high school. Ron noticed that I wasn't my usual cheerful self and he asked me what was wrong. I'd had just enough to drink to let it all come out. I told him the whole story and when I was done he said:
"If you are serious I'll knock her up for you. I've got five kids and my wife won't even let me make love to her anymore unless she has her diaphragm in, I have a condom on and I promise to pull out before I cum."
"How would we do it?"
.... There is more of this story ...