Nowhere Man

by Harddaysknight

Copyright© 2006 by Harddaysknight

Humor Sex Story: Husband is mired in mediocrity when his life changes. Can a shrink help him? Does he even need help?

Caution: This Humor Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa   Consensual   Heterosexual   Humor   Cheating   .

Things had not been going well between my wife of 21 years and myself. We had begun to discuss divorce on a regular basis, and were both quite serious. We were not angry with each other. We had simply ceased to care very much.

We had one child and he was two states away in college. We had purchased a home far more expensive than we could afford years ago. Now our son was attending a very expensive private school. It seemed that debt was the sole reason we were still together.

My wife, Gwen, was still an attractive woman in her early forties. I am three years her senior and only weigh a few pounds more than I did when we were married. It just seemed that our life was consumed with trying to make ends meet and keep the façade of success, at least as many people in our culture perceive it.

Divorce was not something either of us really wanted, but it seemed that our marriage was not something we wanted very badly, either. We were simply tired and depressed with our lives. Thus, we had begun to consider divorce, but felt we were too far in debt to pursue it. We had decided to try to get our son through college and then go our separate ways. Still, we remained faithful to each other and polite. I remember hearing once that the opposite of love is apathy, not hate. I finally understood that statement.

I was in sales and not exactly a top producer. I always had worked hard, but had trouble closing the deal. That kept me firmly entrenched in the middle of the company's corps of salesmen. That kept the incentives and promotions just out of reach. I was the original "Nowhere Man!"

One afternoon I was trying to convince a long time customer to increase his order. I had sold to him, and even attended a few parties with him, over the past four years. He always gave me some business, but the lion's share went elsewhere. My product was every bit as good as the competitor's and just a little cheaper. I could never understand why I couldn't get all his business. Out of frustration, I asked why he didn't send more action my way.

"You really have a good product, Hank, but the other guys throw in some incentives for me," he confided. "I send enough your way to look good to the bosses, but some of the other vendors treat me better."

"Are you saying they give kickbacks?" I asked stunned. "That is illegal as hell and could get you spending time in the big house if your company found out!"

"You asked, Hank. Now I'm telling you, so listen. I don't get any money. I just get some very nice treatment from representatives of the vendors, if you know what I mean."

"Like tickets to the Giants' games or something?" I suggested. "Is that the sort of thing we are talking about?"

He chuckled at my question. It irked me that I appeared so dumb, or naïve, or whatever.

"I get laid, Hank. I can't rely on my good looks, so I get my suppliers to provide a little pussy for me. It may sound like a small thing, but it gets my orders," he confided. "Lately the vendors have been under close scrutiny from their bosses over their expense accounts. That has left me horny and looking for some new vendors. I don't ask for much, but I guess the whores were costing more than the guys could justify. Long story short, some fresh pussy will get my business."

"That is hard to sell to the board of directors, Charlie," I conceded. "I wouldn't even know where to find a whore and I wouldn't be able to pay her if I did."

"That is the story I hear from all my suppliers," admitted Charlie. "Then I remembered the Labor Day picnic your company invited me to last year. I seem to recall your wife looked pretty good in a pair of shorts and a low top."

I was blindsided by that comment. The miserable bastard apparently thought I would offer my wife for an order. I was ready to drop the prick with a couple punches, when reality stepped to the front of my thinking.

What did I care if he fucked Gwen? I couldn't even remember the last time I had a piece of her ass. It could mean a nice commission, which would certainly be to Gwen's benefit as well as mine.

"Are you suggesting I could secure your business if Gwen had sex with you, Charlie?" I questioned. "You will give me all your orders for a piece of her ass?"

"Shit, Hank, one fuck isn't worth all my business! I don't even know if she is worth any orders," he replied.

"Gwen would give you the fuck of your life, Buddy!" I almost shouted. "You won't get any pussy for an order or two. I can promise you that!"

What the hell was I saying? Was I bargaining with my wife's pussy? How far had I sunk? Why would I think she would ever agree to such a degrading proposition? Only a total asshole would use his wife's body to make a few bucks.

"Give me half your orders and I'll let you fuck her. If you like it, you can have her again for the rest," I proposed.

"What the hell, Hank! Is her damn cunt made of gold or something?" laughed Charlie. "You give her to me for tomorrow night, all night, for half my business. We'll dicker on the rest after that. I am not going to buy a pig in the poke, so to speak. No offense," he laughed again.

"Gwen is no pig, but you're the one that wants to poke her, Charlie," I chuckled. Now I was laughing at the thought of this slob fucking my wife! I promised myself I would seek counseling as soon as I felt I could afford it.

"We have a deal, Hank. Bring her to room 432 at the Winston tomorrow evening at 8:00. I'm happy to do business with you," Charlie offered his hand as he spoke.

I shook his hand and mentally kicked my own ass as I imagined how Gwen would receive this news. I would probably lose what business I had with Charlie. On the other hand, even half his orders would dramatically increase my income and the incentives would start kicking in. No guts, no glory! The real test of my salesmanship would come later, when I explained to Gwen the deal I had just struck with Charlie.

"Not to appear dense or anything, Henry, but let me see if I understand you correctly," Gwen stated quite calmly. "You made a deal with that big toad, Charlie Garner. In essence, he will give you half his orders if I spend the night with him?"

We were almost finished with dinner when I worked up the nerve to approach Gwen with the deal I had struck with Charlie. She had met Charlie just once and hadn't been very impressed with him, or so it seemed.

"That is the crux of the deal, Gwen. After that he will decide if he wants to deal for any more business," I added a bit lamely.

"You mean he will decide if I am worth any more of his business, or if he should look for sex someplace else?" asked Gwen.

It all sounded so unfeeling and cold the way Gwen stated it, but she was quite accurate.

"That is the deal Gwen. His orders would put me in a higher sales group, increase my commission cut, and start incentives kicking in. We would be able to get some of that new furniture you want, or actually take a vacation. It would be a substantial increase in our income," I assured her.

"I am trying very hard to understand this deal and what led up to it, Henry," Gwen replied. "How did you come to offer me as some kind of perk?"

So far Gwen was amazingly restrained and I began to feel a glimmer of hope. This was one sale I had to close!

"Charlie was raving about how great you looked at that party last year. He mentioned your long legs and how great your breasts looked in the low top you wore," I bubbled. "He has talked about you ever since. I knew he had a thing for you, but today he told me he would send me more business for a night with you."

"He was really that taken by me at that party?" asked Gwen. "Has he really been asking about me a lot?"

I could see this all was appealing to her vanity. Women always wonder if a man, other than their spouse, desires them.

"Gwen, you do have great breasts and legs and that outfit really showed your assets perfectly. Several guys mentioned to me how hot you looked," I admitted.

"How come you never told me about it, Henry?" insisted Gwen. "I could use an occasional compliment. You should tell me when men say these things. I wondered if anyone even noticed. Do you really think I have nice legs and breasts?"

"I should have told you, Gwen. You are right about that. You looked great and I saw a few guys checking you out when they thought it was safe," I confessed. "I can honestly say you still look great. If anything, you have improved over the years. Any weight you have gained has increased your sex appeal. Your curves are perfect."

"What a nice thing to say, Henry!" Gwen smiled. "How did Charlie know you wouldn't beat the hell out of him for suggesting I sleep with him? Am I wrong to think that a lot of husbands would be furious about a suggestion like that?"

"He knows I need his business and that I would just laugh it off if it offended me. I was pretty irked when he first suggested it, but then I started thinking," I answered. "This could help us both improve our situation, and you are a very good lover, so why not consider the proposition?"

"Henry, you pick an odd way to start complimenting me. Is it possible this will make you jealous, or be the final straw in our marriage?" Gwen asked. "Are you looking for grounds for divorce or something?"

"Gwen, I swear I would not be so low and devious, and I think you know that," I stated in my best imitation of an indignant husband. "The truth is, and it shames me to admit it, that it all turns me on. I have never thought about you with a different man. But I thought about it all afternoon and I got aroused when I did."

"It has finally come down to this, hasn't it?" asked Gwen. "We are sitting here calmly discussing me sleeping with a man to help further our financial position, and neither of us is even angry. There was a time when the very suggestion would have outraged both of us. It seems we have fallen a long ways, doesn't it?"

Gwen was right. I was more excited than insulted by Charlie's proposition and she was considering it, as she would any common business deal.

"If I go along with this crazy scheme, I will expect you to be willing to make sacrifices for our welfare and comfort. What is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander," Gwen finished.

I felt quite safe making my next statement.

"Gwen, feel free to offer me as an incentive to promote your career any time. The only condition is I don't mess around with other men."

"I will hold you to that," laughed Gwen. "You may have a few surprises coming, yourself."

I felt a moment of concern when Gwen told me that. What did she have in mind?

"I will do it, Henry, to promote our future, but we both know it speaks volumes about our situation and character, or lack of same," frowned Gwen. "As you know, I will not do oral and that pig has to wear a condom or the deal is off."

"That is only reasonable," I assured Gwen. "I will be sure to tell him that tomorrow when I speak with him."

There goes any chance for the other half of Charlie's accounts, I realized. From what I knew about Charlie, that news would be as welcome as a turd in the punch bowl. Still, half a loaf was better than none!

That night as I lay in bed listening to Gwen sleep, I had a tremendous urge to make love to her. I hadn't felt that way in a few months, but somehow I felt I should mark my territory before Charlie explored it. I also knew that Gwen would brand me a pervert for suddenly wanting sex. The reason would be much too obvious. I spent the night wondering where the whole thing was headed and trying to determine my mental state. I finally slipped off into a dream-filled sleep.

"So, Hank, is your little whore going to keep our agreement tonight," blurted Charlie as he entered my cubicle. "I am horny as hell and plan on filling all her holes, my friend."

He delighted in my discomfort as I blushed and quickly responded, "For Christ's sake, Charlie, keep it down, would you?"

"Don't want the others to learn your trade secrets?" joked Charlie. "Don't worry there, Buddy! Your slut is way better than anything they have. You'll have the business-for-sex thing to yourself, from what I've seen."

It was odd, but I was beginning to like Charlie, in a strange way. Seldom have I met a person so completely honest about himself. Most of us profess to be offended by the suggestion of a strange piece of ass or a blow-job, especially in the White House. I knew that deep down the overwhelming number of men in the world would take a blow-job if the opportunity arose. It is just that for most of us, the opportunity never does. We condemn it publicly and pray for it privately. Charlie simply admitted his desires.

"It would be best if you don't use those names when you see Gwen, Charlie. It will really piss her off," I declared, "and you don't want that. She also said no oral and you have to use a condom."

"Fuck that cunt!" laughed Charlie. "I don't give a rat's ass what she likes, and I don't use condoms. I'll ride her bareback and cum where and when I like! She's fucking me for profit, so she is a whore, technically. She may not be a slut, yet"

"You have a point," I grinned. "I think you two will reach an understanding. I'll bring her to your room at 8:00. Do you want me to pick her up in the morning?"

"No, have her bring something to wear to work the next morning," responded Charlie. "It doesn't pay to be too considerate to a slut. I'll send her off to work with a pussy full of sperm and she will be thinking about me all day."

Gwen was already packing when I got home that evening. She had already planned on going straight in to work after her night with Charlie.

"You are going to take me out for a nice dinner before you drop me off to service that pig," stated Gwen. "We may as well enjoy some of our new income. Did you tell him no oral and to use a condom, Henry?"

"I sure did, Sweetheart! I told him you are a lady and expected to be treated as such!" I lied. "He will be a perfect gentleman."

"That is something you can't sell me, Henry, but thanks for telling Charlie. I hope he doesn't last too long. As heavy as he is, I suspect he will be done and sleeping in a few minutes," she added. "I'll just slip out in the morning before he wakes up."

We actually enjoyed a nice dinner and chatted more than we had in months. Gwen was nervous and we both felt a bit guilty, so we made a concerted effort to keep the mood light and the conversation flowing.

At 7:56, I knocked on Charlie's door, with Gwen on my arm. Charlie answered the door, then swept it open and gestured for Gwen to step in.

As she walked by him, Charlie told her, "You look great, slut. I can't wait to fuck you senseless!"

With that he pushed the door closed, but not before I heard Gwen spit back, "Don't speak to me that way you miserable, fat fuck! I'll just turn around and..."

With that I heard the lock turning in the door. I didn't know if I should stay in case Gwen left the room and needed a ride back home, or just go home. I waited around the hall for another ten minutes, and decided they must have reached some kind of an understanding. I went home to an empty bed.

I felt hung-over as I sat at my desk the next morning. I had slept only fitfully for the second straight night. I couldn't stop thinking about Gwen and wondering what happened between her and Charlie. Did she hate me for making such a deal? Did she have a horrible time? Did they try to kill each other? Would I keep Charlie's accounts? Would I get more? Why was everything connected to the dollar for me?

It was almost eleven when Charlie strutted into my little cube. He plopped down in the other chair and sighed.

"You're either a very smart bastard or a real dumb fuck, Hank," he began. "I haven't decided which, not yet."

"If you are asking my opinion, I'll go with smart bastard," I offered. "If you take a vote, however, dumb fuck will win in a landslide."

"How did it go?" I tried to ooze indifference as another knot formed in my gut. "Did you and Gwen hit it off ok?"

"That bitch can really suck cock!" blurted Charlie. "After we fucked every way possible, and a few ways considered impossible by many, and outlawed in most civilized countries, I woke up this morning with that whore of yours sucking me off again. She must wear you out, Hank. No wonder you were willing to turn her loose on me. It gave you a night to rest!"

"Yeah," I agreed. "That little slut sure can suck cock. She gets so much protein I think she invented the Atkins Diet."

Where did that come from? Gwen never sucked me off to completion and I knew it. I just gave away my wife for a night and was worried about what the fucker would think of me! I made a note to seek counseling even if I couldn't afford it.

"She started all the goody two-shoes shit when she first got to my room, but it wasn't long and she was begging me to fill her tight cunt with cum," chuckled Charlie. "I can't get over how tight her ass is. It feels like it's going to squeeze your dick right off, doesn't it, Hank?"

"No question there, Charlie," I agreed again. "I don't know how many guys have complimented me on how tight Gwen's asshole is. It's like stuffing a goddamn hot dog through the eye of a fucking needle."

Charlie was looking at me, wondering if he should be laughing or not. Finally he plunged on.

"I told Gwen she could finish the negotiations for the rest of my account after lunch. If that bitch shows up and plays her cards right, you have a good shot at all my accounts. It depends how well she negotiates, if you know what I mean," winked Charlie.

"That little whore knows how to bargain, Charlie," I avowed. "Just try to keep your balls."

I made a mental note to contact the company shrink as soon as Charlie left. What the hell was I saying? My emotions were so mixed, my brain froze but my mouth just kept flowing. I might get all Charlie's accounts, but he had been sucked off by my wife several times. He then fucked my wife every which way but loose. Come to think about it, Gwen was probably fucked loose, along with upside down and sideways! Should I be elated, or should I go postal? What over the counter drugs would help? My mind was reeling!

"Fucking A, Buddy," agreed Charlie. "I have to go get ready for that cock sucker wife of yours. I'm going to drive a hard bargain, Hank. She won't get my business that easily. You can be sure of that."

"Way to go, Charlie!" I urged. "Make that slut earn every damn penny with that once tight ass and those cum loving lips!"

Again Charlie gave me a strange look as he left. I guess he wasn't accustomed to anyone being even cruder than he was. I opened my desk drawer and searched in vain for any mind-altering drugs. I made a note to have the water tested to see if there was something in it.

I staggered in the front door after the first 80 hour day I ever had. The clock in my cubicle had stopped moving, at least when I was looking. The day was so long I had to shave several times. I even wrote a letter and received an answer!

Gwen had dinner on the table as I dropped my briefcase and jacket on the couch.

"I have steak and baked..." she began before I interrupted.

"Did you get all Charlie's accounts?" I demanded.

Gwen flushed as she faced me and nodded in the affirmative. Then she looked down and waited to hear my response.

"You slut!" I yelled as I grabbed her arm and dragged her to our bedroom. "I am going to fuck you silly,"

Gwen turned red and opened her mouth to form a response, but I would have none of it as my mouth covered hers. I kissed her hard for several minutes and then pushed her onto the bed.

"Get those clothes off and show me the Gwen that Charlie had last night, and again this afternoon. You're my wife and my slut. I'm going to reap the benefits!"

"Yes, Master!" laughed Gwen. "It seems my skills as a negotiator are beginning to be appreciated. I'll mmmph," she gagged.

It seems she hadn't learned to talk with a cock in her mouth... at least not yet!

"So tell me, Doc, am I a sick fuck or what?" I asked as I paused in the middle of my story. My tale was the reason for the appointment with the company shrink.

"I'm not here to judge your actions," replied the man in the big leather chair.

Why do these guys always sit in the big chairs while you lay on some uncomfortable sofa-type thing?

"Is it possible the company has been putting some kind of shit in my water or coffee or blasting me with subliminal messages somehow?" I asked. "It seems pretty weird that I not only traded my wife's ass for a contract, but it has made me hornier than a 6-peckered Billy goat, doesn't it?"

The guy just looked at me and nodded. They never answer direct questions! They answer questions with questions.

"Have you always used such, ah, interesting phrases," he questioned.

"What the hell kind of a question was that?" I wondered. Then I realized it was something new for me. Perhaps the doctor had hit on something!

"I started doing it after watching Dan Rather cover the election in 2000," I answered. "Before that, never. Do you think he's the one using subliminal stuff on me, Doc? I never even thought of that son of a bitch. Well, butter my ass and call me a biscuit!"

Water sprayed all over the carpet as the shrink lost control of his Fox Ledge water as he was sipping it. He quickly grabbed a cloth and wiped the drool off his face. He spent a few seconds composing him self.

"Go on with your story, Henry. Excuse my little accident," he offered.

"Sure, Doc. It just seems that a normal man, which I once thought myself to be, would never use his wife for financial gain, and if he was a low enough prick to do so, it would never make him hornier than when he was 22. I was wondering if I need some sort of medication to counteract whatever the hell is going on," I suggested.

"Is this where you and your wife are, at the present? Have you discussed it with her, Henry? How does Gwen feel about the situation? Are you a relatively normal couple, beside this slight digression?" he quizzed.

"About as normal as stink on shit, Doc," I announced. "Except for the whole gigolo thing I've stumbled into."

"Perhaps you should continue your story, Henry," suggested the shrink. "There appears to be more than I have thus far been told."

"You don't know the half of it, Doc. This is how I remember the series of events that eventually brought me to this couch," I responded.

"After I fucked the hell out of Gwen when she got the contract, we began to actually talk to each other. You must know, as a trained professional, that indicates some sort of mental illness in a married man. This is how it all happened."

As Gwen filled me in on the results of her "negotiations" with Charlie, I realized that she had really done a great deal to increase my ranking in the sales department. She was going to spend a Friday/Saturday night weekend with Charlie at his hotel every quarter. That was when Charlie's travels brought him to our area.

She admitted to looking forward to her next tryst with the somewhat pudgy womanizer. It was flattering that he wanted her so badly, and although his approach to sex was incredibly coarse and crude, she discovered she enjoyed it immensely. Neither of us had ever suspected it, but Gwen got off on being used and enjoyed as a woman, or more accurately, as an object of lust. Especially when she was given no choice. That seemed to remove the guilt that society has worked so diligently to create. If she had no choice, she could be the wanton woman.

We began having sex, and sometimes even making love, much more often. My libido was cranked back 20 years. I couldn't get enough of Gwen and she enjoyed my attentions immensely. This was the catalyst to a better relationship on every level. Reducing financial stress also helped tremendously. In less than two weeks we were much more attentive and feeling closer to each other.

Then, at dinner one evening, Gwen slipped a bombshell into our mealtime conversation.

"I'll pack your suitcase for you, Henry. I promised Regina that you would go with her Friday to the trade convention in Kansas City," smiled Gwen.

I almost choked on my mashed potatoes. Good thing for me she didn't make them baked.

"Excuse me?" I asked. "I don't remember anything about agreeing to go to Kansas City with that goddamn prune you work for. What are you talking about?"

"We agreed back when I slept with that big toad, Charlie, that we would be willing to do whatever it took to help each other's career," smiled Gwen. "I think you have to admit that I have kept my end of that agreement very well. Now I am asking you to do as much for me."

"What are you saying? Am I supposed to fuck the iceberg you work for?" I asked. "I don't think I'll be able to get it up for that witch."

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