I thank my LadyCibelle and Techsan for their patience, proof reading, editing skills and of course encouragement. I'd also like to add that we don't always see eye to eye, so I take full responsibility for the content and any cock-ups in this story.
Another little tale that I dug out of the archives the other day. I think I remember I wrote this one after I actually had to work with a character remarkably similar to the villain in this tale. An obnoxious fat pig who thought he was the greatest coach driver and Romeo in the world. Funny that one because he had the strangest habit of disappearing in the red-light district of Amsterdam when we went there. Although there are some beautiful women working there, I'm afraid I call that desperation. This is a work of fiction and any similarity to any persons living or dead is purely coincidental.
Clarification for our friends from the other side of the pond. The Publican, the person who holds the liquor Licence for a Public House or Bar in the UK, is often known as The Governor.
I think everyone knows that I'm coach driver and normally drive holiday tours all over Great Britain and Europe. A few years ago my wife and I took a two-month holiday in Australia, to visit with some of her relatives. When we returned Roy, one of the other drivers and Angela who works as a courier on the Coach Tours, related to me what had happened whilst I had been away.
Twenty odd hours on the road doesn't leave your head in the best condition to deal with the sudden end to your, as I thought, happy marriage! But that's what I was greeted with when we got back from that two week trip to Rome. A simple note on the kitchen table in Elaine's hand. "You cheating bastard. You have been screwing the couriers on your tours. So now I'm off to screw someone else! You will hear from my solicitor regarding the divorce when I get back!" 'What the fuck is she on?' I thought. You know, I had married my dream girl six years ago; being unfaithful had never crossed my mind.
Jesus, Dave, you know I would never screw around on Elaine! I loved her as much as you love Jean! Christ, there's always plenty of spare Totti on the bus! But only a fucking idiot would destroy a great marriage for the sake of a bit of spare pussy! Besides that, we've all seen what happens when a driver brings back the clap from a trip. I was happily married and wanted to stay that way. Now Elaine had left me because she thought I had been shagging the girls. I just couldn't think were she got that idea from? Christ, Elaine has been down the Plough with us on many occasions; she knows most of girls and their husbands. She knows that they are our friends. If I was going to cheat, why would she think I'd screw someone she knew!
I just didn't know what to make of it. I called Elaine's mobile, but it was turned off. I nearly called you, but I knew you and Jean were catching an early flight to Sydney. In the end I called her sister June in Telford. I thought that Elaine might be there. I couldn't think of anywhere else she would have gone. June answered the phone and the moment I said hello, June began to shout abuse down the phone at me. I never got a chance to say another word. June was calling me all names under the sun. According to June, I was every kind of lowlife I've ever heard of. According to June, I was the Don Juan of the Coach World. I had bedded every courier on the firm and probably most of our female passengers as well! Then she hung-up. If the note that Elaine had left hadn't already put me in shock, the tirade I got from June would have! I called back again, but all I got was "fuck off, Roy!" shouted at me.
I was convinced Elaine was there so I just kept on calling back. In the end, June's husband, Eric, answered the phone.
"Look, Roy, it's nearly one in the morning. You might be used to staying awake all night but some people go to bed to sleep! After the way you have behaved, there is no way June is going to talk to you so please let me get some sleep!"
Then Eric hung-up. He must have unplugged the phone because I got a number unobtainable tone when I tried to call again. I was convinced Elaine must be at June's place, so I decided that I would drive down there and talk to her. As I was going out the door, I realised that I hadn't had any sleep for thirty odd hours! If I tried to drive up to Telford now, I was likely to become an item on tomorrow morning's traffic reports. So I thought it better to get a few hours sleep first. I went up to the bedroom to lay down and got the biggest kick in the teeth I have ever had!
Our bed was covered in pieces of A4 paper. Pictures printed out from the computer. Pictures of my wife naked and having sex with another man. Sucking his cock. Getting fucked doggy style, missionary and riding the pony! All on this same bed. I tried to get to the bathroom but never made it. I threw up all down the hall. I just couldn't believe what I had seen! After I had turned my stomach inside out in the bathroom for awhile, I went back downstairs and poured myself a large shot of scotch.
Half a bottle later I was feeling a little better, and in the mood to kill someone so I went back to the pictures to see if I could figure out who the man was. If you're going to set yourself up for a life sentence, it's a good idea to kill the right man! When I looked at the pages again, I saw that amongst them was another note, typed this time. All it said was, "Anything you can do, I can do better! Now I'm with a real man! Someone that will care for me and not fuck every whore he sees behind my back!"
I studied the photographs closely. In almost every one, I could see that it was Elaine. But I couldn't make out who the man was. On the few that his face appeared in, it had been blurred out. I suddenly realised that the prints had most likely been done on my own fucking computer and I suspected they had been taken with my old camera! I booted up my Packard-Bell. Sure enough, the pictures were on the hard drive, and there were a lot more than had been printed. But the bastard wasn't daft. He had fogged his face on all of them. There was no way I could sleep in our desecrated bed, so I went down, grabbed my bottle of Scotch and went to sleep on the sofa.
Sunday morning I awoke with a hangover! Pissed off with the world, and still drunk from the Scotch that I had put myself to sleep with! I needed to have a go at someone! I needed to blame someone! The only person I could think of that I could get to was our boss, Charlie! "After all," my intoxicated brain thought. "if I hadn't been driving his fucking coaches all over Europe, I'd have been at home. Elaine would have known that I wasn't cheating on her and I'd have been there to stop that bastard fucking her. So the Boss was told to stick his fucking job up his bleeding arse, in no uncertain terms!
Now as everyone knows, Charlie is one of the best, you know he has always been a good boss. He's always been known for looking after his employee's welfare. Well, the earners amongst us anyway. He was obviously perplexed by my call, as I hadn't bothered to explain myself; I had just told him to stuff his job up his arse. Less than fifteen minutes later he was banging at my door. When I let him in, he could see that I was pissed! He asked me what my problem was, as he said he didn't want to lose one of his best drivers. I broke down and collapsed on the floor crying like a baby. He got me up and sat me on the sofa, then went into the kitchen to make some coffee.
While he was in there, he must have seen Elaine's note, because he called for reinforcements. Shortly after he came back with the coffee, his wife Mary arrived. Mary sat with her arms around me on the sofa and said all the right things to comfort me. Christ, that woman's good. Within ten minutes she had calmed me down and got the details of the night's events out of me. She asked if it was all right for Charlie to look at the pictures, to which I said yes.
Mary sent him upstairs to look at them and see whether he could recognise the man. Unfortunately he couldn't but he came down with one that I hadn't noticed. It was an A4 sheet with eight pictures on it. They apparently were of you and me having sex with some women I have never seen before. Charlie said they must have been faked. He thought that was why they weren't enlarged like the others.
I kept on saying that I was going to go to Telford, to Elaine's sisters, because I was sure Elaine was there. Charlie said he thought it doubtful that she was! But if I insisted on going to Telford, he was not going to permit me to drive, as I was well over the limit and I would probably finish up killing someone. He wouldn't be able to take me as he had to be available in case there were any problems with the coaches that were away. Mary said she would drive me; the boss called Carol, who works in the office, and talked her into coming along.
Shortly after, Carol arrived accompanied by her husband Randall. They said that Randall was coming to keep me from feeling outnumbered by women. But Randall's a big guy, and I reckon he was there to make sure I didn't do anything I would regret later. All four of us got in the boss's Mercedes and Randall drove us to Telford.
On the way Randall said he couldn't understand where Elaine would get the idea that I was cheating. Christ, Carol was always telling him that the girls were asking to be rostered on trips with you and me, because they knew they would not get groped all the time. And if they happened to drink too much, we would make sure that no-one took advantage of them. Everyone knows the story of the young rep that was plied with drink by the two Dutch drivers in Strasbourg. How when another rep had told us we had broken their bloody bedroom door down and told the Dutch guys we didn't think she was in any condition to make rational decisions about who and how many guys she slept with.
Two hours later we stopped outside June's house. Mary told me to stay in the car while she went and talked to June. Carol went with her and I watched them go and knock on the door. Eric opened the door and they talked for a couple of minutes, then June appeared and they talked some more. Finally Mary and Carol went inside. I had thoughts of rushing in there and barging the door open to see Elaine. But I noticed that Randall had put his hand on my seat belt, there was no way I was getting out of the car until Randall decided to let me.
After what seemed like an age, the door opened again, Carol came out and signalled us to come in. As we walked to the door Randall told me to keep my cool. Eric took us into the lounge; June was not in the room. She had told the girls that she wouldn't be in the same room as the bastard that had broken her sister's heart.
Mary told me that Elaine was not there. But she had called June last Wednesday and told her that she had been given proof that both of us had been shagging the couriers whilst we were away on tours. Elaine had decided to get her own back and was going away with her "New Man" as she called him, for a holiday. When she came back she was to see a solicitor about a divorce! And probably move in with this New Man.
When I asked how could she have proof, as I had never been intimate with any other woman since I had met Elaine, Eric said he didn't know as he hadn't talked to Elaine, and left the room - he obviously went to confer with June. After a while he came back and said all June knows is that Elaine kept on saying that, "The girls were saying that Roy and Dave were real men who knew how to treat them properly and that the girls always had a good time when they were with them!"
"Oh, my God!" Carol shouted.
When we all turned to look at her we noticed that Carol had turned as white as a sheet.
Then she said to Eric, "I need to speak to Elaine, Now! Right this minute, you must tell me were she is! I think I have an idea what might have happened, but I must speak to Elaine!"
Eric repeated that neither he nor June knew were Elaine had gone on her holiday, or when she would be back.
"I've got to check something out, but if I'm right, she'll be back a dam sight sooner than she or her so-called new man ever expected! And I'll have the bastard's balls for breakfast. Now, Mary, will you please take Roy out to the car? I'm sorry, Roy, until I've got this checked out, I can't tell you what I think has gone on. I might have got it all wrong, and we don't want you kicking the wrong bloke's head in! Eric, can I use your phone?"
When Carol got back in the car, she said she was sorry but we would have to wait and see what happens now! She had someone trying to track Elaine down so that she could check out her theory. We could do nothing but wait and see what develops.
I suspected it was the boss that Carol had trying to track Elaine down! We stopped to eat on the way back, Mary left the table to make a call on her mobile. When she came to the table she said that she had been talking to Charlie and between them they had decided that I was under too much stress to be driving and I was to stay at their house with them, until this whole thing was sorted out. Whether I liked it or not! Charlie had arranged for their private doctor to see me at their house when we got there! He didn't want me to lose it and have a breakdown! By this time I was feeling so bad, I just agreed to whatever Mary said!
When we stopped at my place so that Carol and Randall could collect their car, and I could pick up some clothes, Carol asked if I would mind if she saw a couple of the pictures; she didn't want to see them all, just the best ones of the man. I think she was getting worried that her theory might be wrong.
I told her they were still on the bed; she was welcome to come up and see them. We went up to the room so that I could get some clothes and Carol could look at the pictures. I was relieved to see that Charlie had put them in a neat stack and left them face down so that I didn't have to look at them when I went back in the room. Carol had a quick look, and said,
"The bitch. What was she trying to do, destroy you? No, this wasn't Elaine! This is that bastard. It's just the kind of thing that sick prick would do! I bet when we find her she doesn't know he left them all over your bed. The prick's so fucking jealous of you! He's conned Elaine and the silly cow has fallen for it!"
I asked Carol again who she thought the man was? She said if I didn't know I wouldn't be able to do anything stupid! Carol said that if her theory was correct. I had to think about whether I was I going to take Elaine back. As she was sure Elaine had been well and truly conned and would be just as devastated as I was when she realised what she had been tricked into doing. I said that I loved Elaine! But would I ever see my Elaine again? Or would I see those pictures every time I looked at her!
Angela takes up the story
Well, the first time I knew something was up was when Carol and Randall came into "The Plough" on the Sunday evening. Carol told us that Elaine had gotten the idea that Roy was shagging all of the girls when he was away on tours, and had gone off and left him!
"Where did she get a stupid idea like that?" I asked, "Roy and his mate, Dave, were the best drivers on the bloody firm. All the girls know that. When you go away with those two, there are never any suggestive remarks, or any so-called accidental groping. No attempts to get you so drunk that you could finish up in the wrong bed. Going with them is like having a big brother around. Sure they always have a good laugh but there is never any funny stuff. They even refused to take that Marie girl on tour, when they thought she was getting the hot's for Dave! You remember. She got right pissed off and left the firm!"