Chapter 15

The next day, while at work, I visited the Microbiology laboratory at the hospital. I was shown into the director's office right away. After taking care of the obligatory condolences, I asked him what the conclusions were on the organism that had almost killed my daughter. He surprised me by saying they did not know yet. Surely, they would have had time to isolate and identify it by now.

He explained that some organisms grow slowly in culture, and some in very specialized conditions, and that they had not found the right conditions for culture.

I asked him why they did not just culture it in a living organism, since it obviously lived there. He smiled, obviously happy to be talking to someone who understood his field, at least somewhat, and said they had tried culturing it in several mice. All of them died so quickly they were not able to find much yet. With no offense intended, he said, he couldn't understand how Amy had survived, and so dramatically. This thing had quickly killed everything they had exposed it to. They were unable to identify it as anything they knew.

He reassured me that that did not mean it was unknown, new, or even mysterious; they just did not have a handle on it yet. I asked if it could be something that had escaped culture, like a mutated or synthesized virus or bacteria.

"You mean like biological warfare agents," he asked, laughing. I laughed also and said it was just a far-fetched idea. We had a good laugh, but he had a faraway look in his eye when I left. He assured me he would let me know whatever he found out.

Next, I went to see Chief Haskin. After chatting for a while and catching up on our families, I asked him how the investigation was going on the accident. He looked at me strangely, and said the driver was drunk and ran a red light. I asked if he had checked carefully for other causes. What was the cause of death? Usually dump truck drivers did not die from hitting cars. He looked at me in silence for a minute.

"Is there something you know that I don't?"

"No, I just have an uncomfortable feeling. Just being thorough. Do me a favor, will you? Look at it again. Yourself, personally. You know how paranoid Victoria is. I just want to be able to tell her we are sure."

He agreed he would check it out and let me know.

When I got back to the office there was a small package waiting for me. It was a ballpoint pen, one of those fancy gel ones. This one was really fancy, though. It contained a cellular phone and a two-way paging radio. The Nextel type that paged anywhere in the country for instant two way talking. And network wide paging. A codebook listed various quick dial numbers. I was #1. Captain Jensen was #2. There were various other numbers listed. Amy and Victoria's cell phone numbers were also listed, as was Katie's. However, Katie did not have a cell phone. Oops, yes she did, it was included the package, nationwide service paid up for two years. She would be excited. Incidentally, the pen really did write!

I changed my mind about letting "Victoria's people" know that I was providing security for my family now. I knew if I did that, Victoria would find out about it. I did not want that. It could put her in an uncomfortable light with her people. Also, I didn't want her to know for her own protection. And ... I just did not want her to know. Period. I wasn't so sure there was not a leak somewhere in her organization. I would just depend on the people I was working with to keep things under control. They were the ultimate professionals. Chances are "Victoria's people" would not even know they were there.

When I got home, I discovered a message on the answering machine from Victoria saying she would be home this weekend. Good. It was going to be a special time, because it was our birthday.

Yes, our birthday. One of the odd things about Victoria and I was that we shared the same birthday. We thought it was neat when we first started going together. Just another one of those similarities that attracted us from the beginning. Like both of us being shy growing up ... Both of us being number one in our class in high school. Both of us being kind of nerds and computer geeks. Both of us being adopted. It was as if we were made for each other. We still felt that way. However, it made for really fun birthdays. It became a big family event, usually lasting for the whole weekend. We would go see her parents over the weekend also, almost like Christmas. It did help a lot in not forgetting her birthday. I guess it really wasn't that weird. There were four people in my grade school class that had the same birthday as me. I guess I could have married any one of them. Well, three of them, anyway. I would have had to change my sexual preference to marry the fourth one. Anyway, Victoria always managed to get home over that time. It was the one time she never failed to get off.

When I arrived, Amy and Katie were already home. Katie was sitting there, all puffy eyed from crying, and Amy had her arm around her, looking serious. She had that 'do something, fix it daddy' look on her face. Uh oh. Another crisis. I hoped it was a silly teenage one, not something serious.

Well, I had plenty of experience with things like this with Cindi. Would I ever stop being sad when I thought about her? I went over, sat next to Katie, and put my arm around her. She dived into my chest and started sobbing. Katie was not as emotional as Cindi, but she was not far off. She did know how to cry. I looked over at Amy. She just shrugged, looked at me with big serious eyes, and said nothing. Soon the waterworks dried up a little.

"Hey, pretty girl, want to tell me what the matter is?"

She shook her head. I tickled her a little, getting a little smile.

"Are you sure?"

She nodded, so I tickled her some more. She started giggling. I kept tickling her until she was laughing and trying to get away. I held her down.

"Please, stop!" she giggled.

"What will you give me if I stop?"

"Anything!"

"Anything?" I smirked.

She giggled. "Well, almost anything. I lost that a long time ago!" Giggle.

"Well, I guess I'll just have to settle for you telling me what the matter is, then."

Her lip quivered. "You cheated! That's not fair!"

"It can't be that bad, Katie. We will figure it out. Let me help you. That's what Daddy's are for."

"My mom kicked me out of the house!" she sobbed. "What am I going to do? I don't have anywhere to go, I have no money, and I can't even get a job." I kept myself from smiling. This was serious to her. But a 13-year-old even thinking she could get a job?

"Is there any other relative you could live with?" I asked.

"No one cares about me. Who cares about a foster child? Even my mother and father never really cared. I won't go live with my father! I won't! I won't! I'll run away first! Even if there were someone that wanted me, I would have to move and not see Amy anymore. She is the only friend I have ... I can't go back to that empty place again...

"I'll kill myself first," she whispered in a tiny voice.

Amy looked terrified, and my heart turned over. I lost it. I grabbed her by her shoulders and shook her.

"You will not! You will never do that! I won't allow it! You understand me!" I yelled at her. "I will not lose another daughter," I whispered, tears running down my face.

"I'm sorry, I don't want to hurt you, you've been so nice to me. But, I will not go back to my father. And I won't leave Amy. I can't go back there ... I can't. You have no idea what it's like ... I would die."

She was serious, I could see it in her face. She was more upset than I had ever seen her, but at the same time, she was icy calm about what she said. She hugged Amy, sobbing.

"Well, it seems to me this is easy to fix. You can just stay here. You're here most of the time anyway. You can just move into ... Cindi's room."

"I couldn't do that."

"Why? You don't like us?" I teased.

She missed the teasing. "Oh, no! It's not that! I love you people! I just couldn't impose on you."

"Cindi, you would not be imposing. I love you like a daughter. You are rapidly filling an empty place in me that I thought would never be filled again. You are more than welcome here as long as you want," I assured her.

She looked at me shyly, her eyes filled with tears. "You called me Cindi," she said in a soft voice.

I looked at her, shocked, thought back to what I had said. I had. She looked like her. She was taking her place in my heart. I had been afraid I would make that mistake and call her that someday.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not," she said fervently. "I would love you to think of me as Cindi. I will gladly be your Cindi any day." We hugged each other and cried. I wondered if she would say that if she knew everything Cindi had been to me. Whom was I kidding? She probably would in a heartbeat. I was the one that had a problem with it. Even my wife did not mind.

Finally, I booted them off the couch.

"Go make supper, you two freeloaders. I have some work to do"

"Freeloaders! How dare you!" Amy giggled. Zing! I got out of there before the next pillow flew.

I went into the other room and called Victoria.

"Hello?"

"Hi!"

"Hi. Is everything ok? The last time you called me like this..."

"No," I reassured her. "Everything's fine."

"In that case, hi! This is a pleasant surprise. I love hearing from you!"

"I have a question to ask you. Katie was kicked out of her house today. Can she stay here?"

Victoria squealed in delight. "Of course she can! You didn't even need to ask. Wait ... there's more, isn't there?"

"Well ... yeah. Promise you won't yell at me? And you'll tell me honestly what you really think?"

"Ok. What did you do? I am going to yell at you if you don't tell me pretty quick!"

"Well," I stalled, "I just found out that Katie is a foster child. What would you think about us ... adopting her?"

There was a long pause. My heart was in my throat. Then I heard Victoria sniffle.

"Are you crying?"

"God, I love you so much!" she said firmly but quietly. "You are so sweet. I think that is the most wonderful idea I have ever heard. You really love her, don't you?"

"I can't explain it, Victoria. I miss Cindi so much, but when Katie is around, it is a little easier to take. I know she's not Cindi, but she just fits in there so well. She needs to have a family so bad, and she wants it to be us. Are you sure you don't mind?"

"Mind? I think it is a wonderful idea. We can talk about it with her this weekend. We will need to talk to her mother. She can move into Cindi's room. Even some of her clothes..." Victoria was off and running. Being a Mom. I told her I had to go eat dinner and I would talk to her later.

When I went back into the kitchen, I remembered Katie's cell phone. I brought it into the kitchen.

"Here, Katie, I got this for you today."

Her mouth fell open. She looked at it as if I had just given her a new car. Amy ran over to look at it, and they both jumped up and down in the middle of the floor, giggling. Dinner was forgotten for a while as they sat down and did those things that only teenagers know how to do with electronics. Did you know Amy can actually program the VCR we have? Certifiable genius. We don't use it much anymore, but she still programs it whenever it needs it, making sure I am in the room when she does it, just to irritate me. I finally took the phone away from them so we could eat. They looked like I had just taken their puppy to the pound.

"You can have it back after supper. Don't cry, Amy!" She stuck out her tongue at me.

"You must carry that with you everywhere you go, you understand, Katie?" She nodded. "Amy, do you carry yours with you all the time?"

"Usually."

"All the time, Amy. Without fail," I told her. Amy looked at me, head cocked to one side slightly. Then she gave me an imperceptible nod of her head, a serious look on her face.

"Yes, Daddy." I could see the question in her eyes.

Later that night, as I tried to go to sleep, I felt Amy slide into bed and snuggle up to me.

"Are you awake, Daddy?"

"Of course. How could I be asleep with a pretty girl cuddled up to me?"

"Flatterer!" she giggled. There was a pause. "Do you really think I'm pretty?" she asked shyly.

What was this? Lack of confidence from Amy?

I turned over to face her. "Amy, you are just about the prettiest girl I have ever seen. You have to know you're pretty."

"Just about? I know. It's just ... you're my Dad. I wasn't sure you would think so."

"It works the other way, pretty lady. Dad's always think their babies are pretty."

"So, do you think I'm as pretty as you did the last time I was in bed with you?" she giggled. I knew right away what she was referring to — the time her hand had accidentally brushed against me. She reached over slowly, and laid her hand against me. "Oh my goodness! I guess so!" She removed her hand. "Thank you, Daddy."

Then, she got to why she really came to see me.

"What's wrong, Daddy? Why do you seem so sad tonight?"

"I'm sorry, honey. I have just been ... really missing Cindi today. Some days are worse than others ... this has been a bad one," I confessed.

"I know. If you could have anything, Daddy, other than having her back — that's a given — what would you want?"

"I think I would just like to talk to her one more time. Just hear her voice one more time."

"Close your eyes, Daddy," Amy said softly.

As I lay there with my eyes closed, wondering what was going to happen, knowing if Amy was involved it would be good and not boring, I felt a soft kiss on my cheek.

"I'm so glad to be here with you, Daddy, I just love you so much and I know that you love me too and I just miss you so much Daddy and you know I would be here with you if I could, please don't be sad for me Daddy I can't stand to see you sad you know I love you and take good care of Mommy and Amy and Katie for me, ok Daddy?"