Reflections

by

Caution: This Erotica Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa, Consensual, Romantic, Heterosexual, Tear Jerker, First, .

Desc: Erotica Sex Story: A man reflects on his first love and then on his wife's sickness and eventual death. Will he ever love again? Not a lot of sex.



Thank you to "LadyCibelle" and "Techsan" for the editing of my stories they make them a much better read.

Chapter 1: A older man reflects back.

It's hell getting old. Not as much getting old as losing your friends and loved ones. My wife passed away last year of the dreaded cancer. I'm a little mad at God for that. I went up to the alter many years ago and told God that I would do my best to live a good Christian life if he would do me one favor. I wanted to die before any of my kids or my wife. I later went back to the alter and included the grandchildren. I just didn't want to be one of those people who would have to bury their loved ones. I didn't feel I was strong enough for that.

I'm only sixty-one and Mary would have been sixty this year if God would have honored my prayer. Now I am alone in a house that my wife completely fixed up the way she wanted it. I don't know about staying here now, with so many memories. That's another thing about being retired. The use of your time. My wife always had chores for me to do. I would get up and gripe and groan everyday. Now I would gladly do those little things for her, if only she was here.

I decided to take up writing stories. For a lonely old guy it takes up time and is a great way to reminisce. That's what I thought I would write about. I might get off track a few times but I want to write what's in my head while I can still remember it. So if you are reading my story please bear that in mind.

I was born in the big city some sixty plus years ago. To some people they think that was a long time ago. I remember of a lot of my past as though it was yesterday. The youngsters think I am ancient. They ask me questions about the Roman Empire and if I knew Abraham Lincoln. Kind of funny when you think about it. I think if I had to do it all over again I would have studied a hell of a lot harder. I would try harder to remember history and chemistry. The two subjects I wasn't worth a shit in but are the two that everyone seems to ask questions about.

Wow, I better jump ahead a few years or this story will go on for ever and it's supposed to have a little sex in it. If it's about my life I can guarantee that there will be very little sex. That was a joke readers, us old guys like to throw shit like that in their writing. My sex life actually was pretty good. I dated a lot in school and played kissy, kissy with about any girl that wanted to. I dated and got a few feels but no real action till my senior year.

That's when I met Paula, my real first love interest. As I mentioned I did have a reputation for flirting but the real action began with Paula. For my graduation present she gave me her cherry. You have to understand back then that was a really big thing. I wish it were true today too, with all my grandchildren and all. I hope they wait till they find their true love.

Paula and I went on a secret date. I had to meet her on the corner because her parents hated me. I don't know why but maybe they knew my ulterior motive. I wanted in her pants. Hell, I wanted in anyone's pants. Other than masturbation my love life consisted of feeling some nice boobies and rubbing a few snatches through their jeans.

I guess I could add a little voyeurism into the mix. Damn, I liked looking at women. I wanted to see the real thing. I got tired of reading National Geographic or Health and Medical magazines. Besides about every picture in the health magazine had some kind of disease, which kind of grossed me out.

I got my chance. Paula and I got in the back seat of my car and we expressed our dying love for each other. I should say if I'm being honest here that it was her dying love for me and me dying to get in her panties. I remember it like it happened yesterday. In fact I'll probably get a hard on thinking about it right now. I don't give a shit what a lot of people say. A lot of men do not, I'll repeat that, do not need Viagra or any other enhancing pill. I'm very capable of getting a hard-on my own even though I would prefer a little help from a nice lady.

Paula and I got into the back seat and started kissing and hugging. I reached up and went to first base. She didn't stop me as I lowered my hand onto her jean-covered thigh and squeezed it. I put my hand on her belt and started to unfasten it. Then I unbuttoned the top button of her jeans and slowly slid the zipper down. When I glanced down I saw her pink panties. I was as hard as a rock. I was hoping I would be able to last for awhile. My first time and I wanted it badly. I pulled my hand up above her soft belly and started it downward behind her panties.

She grabbed my wrist and said, "Eddie, I know how bad you want it. I want it just as much as you and I'm going to give myself to you tonight. I want you to know a couple of things. I'm still a virgin and I'm nervous as hell and scared. I know you like me but I also know you like a lot of girls. I'm doing this because I love you, Eddie. I need you to know this. I want my first time to be with you. I wish we could be together forever until death do us part but only time will tell."

After she said that I realized what a truly wonderful caring person she was. Did I love her? Hell, I didn't know. I was an eighteen year old boy in heat, about to get his first piece of ass. Love, infatuation, hormones, call it what you want but at that given moment I loved her and would always remember her as my first love.

I can't explain how wonderful it felt. I did it, I had sex, I made love with someone I truly liked and I know liked me. I'm writing about her because there will always be a place in my heart for her. That was the only time we made love together.

I went off to college the following week. I tried to contact her before I left but her parents wouldn't let her talk to me. I really felt bad but it was time for me to continue on my life's adventures. College life for me was probably the same as for most guys. A little bit of studying and a lot of partying. I had sex with many girls during college. I did remember to practice safe sex thanks to my dad who hounded me about abstaining but if I was unable to control my hormones then at least practice safe sex.

I came home for one of the holidays and headed over to see Paula. They had moved and none of my friends knew where. We had gone to different schools so we had different friends. She lived down the street from one of my cousins. I got to know her and whenever I visited my cousins and I would go over and see her. We became pretty good friends. I asked my cousin about her moving but he didn't have a clue where they moved to. He told me if he ever found out he would let me know. I really felt a sorrow falling over me. I guess I cared for her more than I realized. I suppose you can see that because here it is forty-one years later and I'm telling you about it. Life goes on.

I met my wife Mary while visiting one of my sisters. I had two sisters and two brothers. We were a pretty good size family. Well, back to how I met Mary. I had a habit of just walking in the my sisters home, never thinking about knocking or ringing a doorbell. I stopped by my sister's and there was this girl. Hell, she wasn't a girl. She was a woman baby setting for my sister. Mary let out a little scream when I walked into the house. "Oh, shit, I'm sorry. Gina's my sister. You must be Eddie."

"Yep, in the flesh. And you are?"

"Mary. I watch your sister's kids once in awhile. Glad to meet you."

Damn, this gal looked sweet. Short, big busted and a nice looking butt. At least it looked nice through her jeans. I got to talking with her and her family was larger than mine. She had four brothers and two sisters. She was somewhere in the middle, having some older and some younger. I was the youngest of our clan.

She was so sweet to talk to, I wanted to get to know her better. I asked her if she wanted to go out to a movie or something? She said sure and we made a date for that evening. We went to the drive-in. I like drive-ins - cheap and lots of privacy for making out. We did a lot of huggy kissy stuff but she wouldn't let me get to first base - touching her boobs.

I'm sitting here writing this story and remembering that's the same way she was her last eight years of life. Ever time I would touch her boob she would tell me to quit it. What kind of sex pervert was I turning into? I loved her right till the end, I really did. Our sex life sucked because it was almost non existent but that didn't stop me from loving her. I started sleeping in another bedroom. She wasn't big on cuddling any more. She said my body was always too hot. Thinking back when we were first married she loved my hot body, always putting those cold feet against me.

I'm not positive what made her change. Maybe the sickness, maybe she got tired of me. We would always argue about it. We did do it a few times but she said she didn't get much out of it. She kept telling me it wasn't me that it was her. She even said it hurt to do it a couple of times. Once she told me she didn't really feel anything. That is about as turned off as I could get after that.

I know once she found out about the cancer it was her sickness or some of the medication she was taking. I could understand it then. I loved her but couldn't make love to her. One pill was for her nerves. I figured it cut off her feelings.

.... There is more of this story ...

The source of this story is Storiesonline

For the rest of this story you need to be logged in: Log In or Register for a Free account

Story tagged with:
Ma/Fa / Consensual / Romantic / Heterosexual / Tear Jerker / First /