Chapter 16: Betrayal

Thanks to Jim for editing!

I looked at Tony, questioning him with my eyes, wondering what I should do now. I was trapped, pinned under Adam's scrutinizing gaze as he glanced back and forth between Aiden and me.

Aiden had just noticed our unexpected visitor and he stopped in his tracks, as uncertain as the rest of us, but looked at me with definite concern. We both knew what this meant. Adam wasn't stupid, and there was a very good chance that now Aiden wasn't the only one who had been outed. And it scared the hell out of me.

But despite my own concerns, when Adam frowned at Aiden, I found myself protectively standing in front of my boyfriend, composing myself, and facing the threat head on.

"What do you want, Adam?" I demanded.

Adam blinked, snapping out of his staring spell, and then it became apparent that he was just as uncomfortable as the rest of us. He seemed to stare at his shifting feet, fidgeting with the strap of his backpack.

"I wanted to talk to you..." he started."I mean, I came over because yesterday... um..." He lifted his eyes, staring at Aiden again.

"Hey," Tony interrupted, "I'm gonna go start breakfast; uh... Aiden, why don't you..."

"Put on a shirt and come help you?" Aiden said, smirking."Sure."

Tony nodded and retreated to the kitchen while Aiden moved for my room, both of them giving me supportive looks first. When they were gone, Adam and I were left to stare at each other.

"Uh, maybe we should go outside," I suggested.

Adam just nodded and followed me when I went to the front door, grabbing my jacket on the way and shrugging it on over my bare shoulders as we stepped out.

I silently motioned for Adam to go ahead of me, so he moved down the stairs a few steps, and took a seat there. I remained on the top step when I sat, wanting to keep a comfortable distance from him.

My head was spinning with questions. Why was Adam here? What was he thinking? Was I about to be outed with Aiden? It was too early in the morning to deal with shit like this. I wanted to go back to bed, back to sleep where it was safe.

"I didn't realize that Aiden was here." Adam's voice was quiet, but it still made me jump when it broke the silence.

His voice was neutral and his back was to me, so I couldn't see his face. I had absolutely no idea what he was thinking and that alone had me unnerved. I wanted him to turn around. Maybe if I could just see his eyes, I'd have an idea.

"What are you doing here?" I finally asked, after a few more moments of silence.

I watched as Adam ran his fingers through his hair, but I still couldn't see his face. From behind his body language seemed frustrated, and I wondered if this conversation was going to end badly for a second time.

"You just walked away yesterday," he said.

"What did you expect, Adam?"

"I don't know," he retorted, slightly raising his voice."What's Aiden doing here, anyway?" There was a hint of resentment in his voice that I didn't like, and frankly, the question scared me. What was he getting at anyway?

"If you don't have the guts to ask him that yourself then you don't deserve to know the answer," I shot back. "And by the way, whatever Aiden is doing here, he was invited. I don't exactly make a habit out of inviting people over who aren't my friends, Adam, so why don't you just say what you came to say and go. School starts in an hour and I'd like to enjoy the rest of my morning before I have to be there."

I guess I was being rude. But under the circumstances, being the gracious host was out of the question. As of yesterday, Adam was no longer my friend as far as I was concerned. And the anger I was feeling towards him was very real. I mean, who did he think he was? He couldn't just show up and demand to know why Aiden was there. It was none of his damn business.

But, I guess Adam disagreed.

"We are friends, Owen!" Adam insisted, finally turning his head back to look at me.

"Friends?" I repeated."For how long, Adam? Until you find out that there's something about me you don't like? No thanks. If you treat all of your friends the way that you're treating Aiden, you can keep your friendship to yourself."

"Oh, that is so fucked up, Owen," Adam argued."I wouldn't be here if I wasn't your friend, and you were a total asshole yesterday."

"Me?" I demanded.

"Yeah, you. For walking away like you did! And I don't understand how you could let a queer get so close to you, but I never said that I'd hold it against you. You're the one with the problem, Owen. You're the one who walked away because you didn't like what I had to say. Well, you know what? I still want to be friends, even if you do have a fag sleeping over at your house. You're the one who's pissed because you can't change the way that I feel. You're the fucking asshole."

"You're right Adam, I can't change the way that you feel," I spat."And, as much as I hate it, I'm not even going to try. If you want to see how wrong you are, go look it up. Homosexuality is not a disease, and just because Aiden's gay doesn't mean that he doesn't deserve to be treated like a human being. You found out that he was gay and now you're treating him like he was never your friend in the first place! And yeah, Adam, it pisses me off. But if you're gonna be a dumb fuck, I can't do a damn thing about it. What I can do is choose my friends, and I don't want friends who think the way that you do."

"Owen..."

"No, Adam." I stood up, looking down the stairs to face him."You know, I thought that you were one of the coolest people I'd ever met. I don't know, maybe you still are. And you were a good friend, Adam--but, unless you do start thinking differently, and figure out that you're wrong... so wrong... we can't be friends."

I turned towards my door, disappointed. I had been terrified of Adam when he had showed up, but I would be lying if I said that a part of me hadn't been hoping that he had had a change of heart. And I was disappointed that he hadn't.

"So is that it then?" Adam called after me, obvious anger laced in his voice. "You can't be my friend anymore because I don't approve of queers? Because I know that it's unnatural, not to mention just fucking sick? Maybe you don't think it's sick 'cause you like faggots sucking on your dick. Maybe that's why Aiden's sleeping at your place. Is that what it is, Owen; are you a fag too?"

I paused at my door, but I didn't look back this time. I didn't care to repeat yesterday's experience. I didn't want to see that look again, not from Adam. I didn't want to see that disgust. As it was, walking away from him for a second time hurt enough already.

"Think whatever you want, Adam."

...

"Are you sure you're alright?" Aiden asked.

We were parked in the student parking lot ten minutes before school started, but I had made no move to turn off the truck or to get out.

After Adam left, I hadn't told Tony or Aiden much of what was said, but they both knew that it didn't go very well, and Aiden seemed to sense that I was just about at the end of my stress level.

Today would be the day that everything changed for me, once again. Perhaps the change wouldn't be as dramatic as I was making it out to be, but there would be a change. I could feel it.

Today would be the first day that I wouldn't go to the oak tree at lunch, and I wouldn't hear any of Adam's and Shane's usual banter. And when I saw Ryan in the halls, I would have a new appreciation for him, knowing that he knew my secret.

And things would be different for Aiden, too. He was starting his day with one less best friend and a new enemy. He would be looking over his shoulder every time someone said the word faggot in the hallways. He would be the one waiting for the suspicious looks from his peers, and the whispers and the judgment. He would be waiting for his entire social life to change.

Aiden definitely had it worse than I did.

I looked in his direction and forced a smile.

"I'm okay," I insisted."Are you?"

Aiden's lips curled up and he grinned at me, without even having to force it. He was so much more confident than I was, and that was only part of what attracted me to him. I hated that I had to fight off the urge to lean over and kiss him. It suddenly didn't seem fair that I couldn't, just because we were different.

"I'm good," Aiden insisted."So... are you ready to go in there?"

I let out a breath and turned off the truck, and together we made our way into the school. I guess that nothing seemed different, except for the fact that I kept looking around like a paranoid idiot, trying to read the minds of everyone who happened to look in our direction.

Aiden noticed that I was nervous and nudged me with his shoulder, flashing me a soft smile that I couldn't help but return; and when the right side of his lip curled up into a smirk and he winked at me I think I actually blushed. Aiden just chuckled and lifted his hand to give my shoulder a squeeze.

"Stop worrying, Owen," he insisted. "I'll see you at lunch?"

"Yeah." I smiled.

I watched Aiden walk away, throwing me a smile over his shoulder as he went. I had to plant my feet to keep from following after him. I didn't want to leave him alone, not when I knew that Janie would likely be causing trouble for him.

I guess I was feeling a little overprotective. Since Janie wanted to ruin Aiden, and I couldn't stop her, I figured that the least I could do was be there when it happened. But even that wouldn't be easy when Aiden and I didn't share any of the same classes.

But that didn't mean that I didn't try to be near him as much as possible. After my first few classes I detoured my route to meet Aiden and walk him to his classes. He, of course, thought that I was being ridiculous, but the smiles I got from him told me that he didn't mind at all.

Lunchtime was a new experience for me. I met Aiden, instead of going to the oak tree. I watched as he inhaled a couple of sandwiches and then I laughed as he rushed me through eating my lunch. When I was finished, I followed him around the school, for the first time seeing how he normally spent his lunch break.

Of course, he was taking pictures. He snapped shots of students and teachers alike, anyone and everyone. Some people would strike a pose when they saw him, others would pretend that they didn't notice that the camera was there, and others ran away.

I didn't mind tagging along at all, even if every time that Aiden lifted his camera he was completely preoccupied. At least I was with him. I wondered if Janie was the one who usually walked around with Aiden while he took his pictures, and stopped every once in a while to say hello to someone.

That was something that I had noticed. People were generally friendly towards Aiden. He seemed to know everyone's name, and they seemed to know his. Of course, it was mostly girls. I will admit that I got jealous a few times, watching a few of them flirt with him. But when I got the same treatment, I found it amusing the way that Aiden would decide that it was time to excuse ourselves. I guess I wasn't the only one with a jealous streak.

All and all, lunch was going well. Not that there weren't a few low points. I did happen to look in Adam's direction at one point, and he was looking right back at me. I couldn't really read his expression. It was clear that he was angry with me, but I thought that there was something else there too. Regret maybe. I'm not sure. Maybe my mind was just making it up because I was still wishing that Adam and I could eventually work things out.

But I was hit with a sharp dose of reality when I noticed that Shane was back in school, with Adam, and Shane was the one looking at me as if I had just shit in his sandbox. I guess that meant that Adam had told him what happened. Obviously, Adam wasn't the only one of my friends who I had misjudged. I hadn't been as fond of Shane as I was of Adam, but the angry look in his eyes still hurt.

Aiden caught me staring towards my former friends, and pulled my attention back to him when he snapped my picture. I looked up and forced a smile at the thoughtful expression on his face. When Aiden didn't smile back, I let my fake one fade away and I let out a breath.

I sighed. "Shane knows. Adam must have told him."

"So what?" he shrugged."We expected this, Owen."

I frowned."From Janie, not from Adam."

"If word's going to get out, it doesn't matter how it gets out," Aiden insisted. "I'm really not worried about it, Owe. If I'm going to come out, then I can accept that. And you shouldn't worry. Even if Adam mentions that I was at your place this morning, he has no way of proving that I was there because of you. If a rumor starts, I could always say that I was having family problems. I stay over at your place all the time for that reason anyway."

"No!" I stated."Aiden, you have enough problems already. No one needs to know about your mom... I know that it's something that you don't like to talk about."

Aiden stared at me for a moment. He looked sad, and for a second I wondered if it had been a mistake to mention his mother. But then he flashed me a small smile and reached up to squeeze my shoulder.

"Thanks, Owen," he said softly.

I just smiled back at him and we just stared silently at each other for a few minutes. I'm sure both of us were wishing that we were somewhere else. Anywhere else where we could show our affection for each in a more meaningful way.

But for now we were stuck with using small, innocent touches and lingering looks. Not that it wasn't nice, it was. But, I wanted more. Nothing compared to the way that Aiden felt in my arms, or the way his lips felt on my mouth. Just thinking about it had me craving it.

I made a note to myself that I would have to get him alone for a few minutes before I had to go to work later on. Maybe then I could talk him into sleeping over again. After all, it wasn't like his mom was home yet. I didn't want him to be all alone, and recently, the nights seemed to be the only time that we were able to spend any time alone together.

As I stared at Aiden I wondered if he was thinking anything similar. His hand was still on my shoulder, and I could practically see that he didn't want to remove it. It seemed so hard not to just reach out and hug him.

We were both snapped out of our thoughts when we heard loud laughter coming from a group of girls. I looked in the direction and my eyes immediately narrowed on Janie, who was among a group of six, all staring in our direction with malicious glares. At least they seemed malicious to me. Probably because Janie was with them, and I wouldn't trust her to save her own mother's life.

Janie glared right back at me and I watched as a cruel smile crossed her face. I swear I wished that I were enough of an asshole to go over there and wipe it off. But I felt Aiden's fingers around my arm and looked at him as he began to pull me away. He was frowning, and had obviously noticed Janie too.

"Come on," he insisted;"let's get out of here."

So we did the only thing that we could do. We walked away.

...

I walked out of Ryan's downstairs bathroom after my five-minute shower, as I pulled on my shirt. We had had a good workout, and it had been a lot better than attending gym class, at least for me. The only thing I didn't like about it was leaving Aiden alone at school.

"Are you ready to go?" I asked Ryan as I walked past him, through his living room, heading for the front door.

"Sure," Ryan said, shrugging."But what's your hurry? We've got a good twenty minutes before we have to be back in class."

"I want to meet Aiden when his class gets out," I explained.

Ryan laughed at me, causing me to turn around and glare at him.

"What?" I demanded.

"Nothing." He shrugged."I guess I'm still getting used to the idea of the two of you as a couple. That is what you are, right?"

I thought about that for a second and a goofy grin made its way onto my face. Ryan just laughed again and shook his head.

"Shut up," I remarked. "Let's go."

"Fine." He rolled his eyes and followed me out to my truck. I glanced at the clock, satisfied that I still had plenty of time to meet Aiden when his next class got out.

"So, have you tried talking to Adam again?" Ryan asked.

I grimaced and gave a slight nod.

"He showed up at my house this morning," I explained."It went even worse than yesterday."

"But he showed up there, right? Maybe that means he wants to try to work things out, you know?"

"Maybe that's what he wanted," I admitted, "but I don't think it's something we can work out. Aiden was sort of there when Adam showed up."

"So?"

"Aiden spent the night," I explained. "That's why he was there. Adam saw him coming out of my room. Aiden wasn't, um... wearing much."

"Ahh. I guess that didn't look so good."

"Probably not to Adam." I frowned. "Before he left, he sort of made a comment, like he knows that there's something going on between me and Aiden."

"Do you think he'll start talking?" Ryan asked."I mean, about what he saw? If people start talking about Aiden, they're going to be wondering why he was sleeping at your place and coming out of your room."

I frowned."And it's none of their damn business."

"True," Ryan said. "But what are you going to do if people start talking about you too?"

"Deal with it, I guess." I shrugged. "I mean, I kind of expect it to happen. When people start talking about Aiden, they'll probably start talking about me too, since we've been seen together. And now that Janie and Adam are both out of the picture, I'll probably be with Aiden a lot. For now, I guess I'll just be glad that even if the rumors do start, no one can prove that Aiden and I are anything more than friends."

"And is that what you'll tell people?" Ryan asked.

"For now," I said, nodding."I'm not ready to come out, Ryan. I think I can handle the rumors, but as soon as people know for sure..."

"Hey, no one's gonna know unless you tell them, Owen. And don't worry, I'll keep an eye out for you guys too."

"Thanks, Ryan."

Ryan reached over and playfully punched my shoulder as we pulled into the student parking lot, and then we walked into the school together. The halls were still empty, because class hadn't let out yet. Ryan continued to walk with me, and we were halfway to Aiden's class to meet him when the bell rang and the halls quickly crowded.

I didn't usually run into Adam during school. Actually, the only time I ever really saw him was at lunch because our classes were nowhere near each other. So I wasn't really expecting to have to face him again until tomorrow, at least.

I never would have expected to see him walking through the halls, laughing with Dennis Gordon's friend, Phil Clayton, as if they had always been the best of friends.

Adam hated that guy. He hated all of Dennis's friends, and if I remembered correctly, Phil had often made a point to target Adam for some of his bullying in the past, just as Dennis did.

I, personally, had never really said much to Phil. The only time I had ever seen him was when he was playing backup for Dennis. But the few times I had encountered Phil Clayton were enough to convince me that I didn't like him.

And now he was with Adam. It was like watching a train wreck. I didn't want to look but something about the two of them seemed so incredibly out of place that I couldn't take my eyes off the scene.

And then Adam saw me.

His smile faded and I think he paled at least three shades before his cheeks turned red. Was he blushing? Maybe he was. I couldn't tell, but to me, Adam looked almost, ashamed.

And then Phil spotted me. Unfortunately, they didn't keep walking; instead Phil grabbed Adam's shoulder and pulled him in my direction.

"What the fuck is this?" Ryan muttered next to me. He was obviously thinking the same thing that I was.

"Look who it is!" Phil sneered with a louder than normal ring to his voice, looking at me. "Hey, Adam, where do you suppose his boyfriend is?"

So Adam had been talking to Phil Clayton, huh? I glared at Adam, obviously pissed off. For a guy who claimed that he wanted to be my friend, just that morning, he certainly had an interesting way of showing it. At least Adam had the decency to look embarrassed.

"What the fuck are you talking about Phil?" Ryan demanded."And I don't think I gave you permission to talk to my friend, so why don't you just keep walking?"

I felt Ryan's hand on my shoulder, and somehow, just knowing that he was there calmed me considerably. But, I was definitely upset. With Adam. I couldn't even look at Phil. I could do little more than stare down my former friend, while Adam looked everywhere but into my eyes.

"Shut up, Sader," Phil retorted."I'm not talking to you." And then he moved in front of me, practically forcing me to look at him. "I'm talking to you, Dovan. I've gotta question for ya."

I held my breath and forced myself to meet Phil Clayton's eyes. He was using a loud voice, and I could sense people looking at us, lingering in the hallways, pretending that they had something important to do there.

"So ask it," I said.

Phil smirked, looking like he had just beaten me at some game.

"I hear your buddy Aiden Knightly's a queer and dumped his girlfriend because you were a better fuck. Is that true, Dovan? Are you a better fuck? Is that why you have a queer sleeping in your bedroom?" He was getting closer and my nose turned up at the foul smell of fish sticks on his breath, left over from lunch. "Do you like shoving your dick up Knightly's faggot ass, huh? Or is it the other way around? I bet he really likes that. What do you think? Are you a better fuck, Dovan?"

"Jesus, Phil," I heard Ryan say."Are you asking him out or something? What's with the sudden fascination you have with Owen's dick and what he does with it?"

"Shut up, Sader!" Phil shouted.

I felt Ryan's hand leave my shoulder and sensed trouble when he took a step forward. He was only a little taller than Phil, but when Phil had to arch his neck to look into Ryan's eyes, he seemed to realize that he was probably picking a fight that he couldn't win.

"Back off, Phil," Ryan said. He used a normal, calm voice, but there was something about it that told me that Ryan was anything but calm, and I found myself reaching up and touching his shoulder.

"Forget this asshole, Ryan," I insisted, and then cut a sharp look at Adam and added, "Both of them."

Adam lowered his eyes, but Phil backed off with a smirk.

"I should have known you were queer, Dovan," Phil remarked."After all, you're one of Sader's friends. Come on Adam, let's get away from the faggots before I get sick."

I was still glaring at Adam as he slowly followed Phil down the hall, still unable to look at me. In that moment, I wasn't sure which one of them I hated more.

And now I was uncomfortable. People were still looking. At me. And there were whispers. I didn't like the attention, and suddenly I wished that I could be invisible again. The rush of fear and paranoia rushing through my chest made it difficult to breathe, and I couldn't seem to get any of my thoughts straight.

What the hell had just happened? Was I out? Had I just been outed? By Adam?

I didn't get much to time to think about it when Ryan suddenly moved ahead of me with stiff shoulders and a determined look on his face.

"Adam!" Ryan shouted in his deep voice. He sounded angry. I don't think I had ever really heard Ryan sounding angry before. I didn't really care for it. Adam stopped and looked back nervously, along with everyone else in the hall.

"Is that what I am?" Ryan asked Adam."Is that what Owen is? Are we faggots, Adam?"

While he spoke, Ryan advanced on Adam and I could see Adam visibly shrinking before my eyes. He was terrified. I was torn between making Ryan stop and joining him. As much as I couldn't stand Adam right now, my heart at least still thought of him as a friend. I didn't want to see him hurt. Or scared.

When Phil turned around and got between Ryan and Adam, Ryan hardly flinched as he reached out and shoved Phil away one-handedly. It seemed like such an innocent gesture, but Phil's body flew back against a row of lockers and he actually lost his balance and fell down, as every other person in the hall seemed to gasp or take a step away from one pissed-off Ryan.

"I told you to back the fuck off, Phil!" Ryan shouted before turning his attention back to a cowering Adam. "Well, Adam? Are you going to fucking answer me? Am I a queer? Huh? Is Owen? Sounds like that's what you're telling people. Why don't you say it to my face now?"

"I... I didn't say anything about you, Ryan, I swear," Adam insisted in a small voice.

"But you did say something about Owen, didn't you?" Ryan demanded, stopping just in front of Adam, towering over him. "Is that how you treat your friends, Adam?"

"Ryan," I called, deciding to intervene. "Let's just..."

"Hey," Ryan glanced back at me;"aren't you supposed to be meeting someone?"

I frowned."Ryan."

"Don't worry about it," Ryan insisted, grabbing hold of the collar of Adam's shirt without even looking at him, while Adam took a defensive, wide-eyed step back."You go ahead, Owen, I'm gonna teach this little shit here how I treat people who fuck with my friends."

If Ryan hadn't winked at me I might have thought that he would actually hurt Adam. But, if I had believed that Ryan was capable of doing something like that, I wouldn't have just stood there while he dragged Adam down the crowded hall, despite the younger boy's protests.

I didn't stand there for long. People were still staring and I needed to get away from it, but after taking two steps forward I realized that there was a familiar face, blending in with the crowd, and I stopped again.

Aiden caught my eyes and nodded his head, motioning for me to follow him, so I quickly moved in his direction, ignoring the stares and the angry glare that Phil Clayton shot me.

Aiden walked ahead of me, and I followed him down a hall and through a classroom that I had never been to before, where he opened a door in the back. I followed him inside, turning up my nose at the smell of chemicals as he closed the door to the darkroom and flicked on the red light.

"Did you see that?" I asked before he even had the door closed. Aiden turned to look at me under the dim light and nodded.

"Are you okay, Owen?"

"Uh-huh." I nodded.

"Don't worry about Adam, Ryan won't hurt him," Aiden insisted.

"I know," I said, nodding, looking around the room. I wasn't really interested in anything in particular, I was just feeling nervous. But, when I felt Aiden's hand on my shoulder I turned and forced myself to look at him, trying to keep the freaked outlook off my face.

"Owen, are you okay?" he asked again.

This time I shook my head slowly, and didn't stop shaking it until Aiden wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against his chest. I dropped my backpack so could hug him, burying my face in his neck and inhaling his scent against the smell of the chemicals.

"Adam told Phil Clayton," I mumbled. "Phil Clayton! He might as well have gone straight to Dennis fucking Gordon! Why would he do that, Aiden? Is he trying to hurt me?"

"Maybe." Aiden sighed.

I pushed away from him a little to look at his face. Obviously, I had been hoping for something a little more reassuring than 'maybe.' The right side of Aiden's lip curled up into a half-smile at the look on my face and he gave a small shrug.

"Well, you hurt him, Owen."

"I hurt him?" I demanded, letting go of Aiden altogether.

"Owen, the kid looks up to you. What did you expect? Adam's like Janie. He doesn't understand homosexuality and he thinks you're choosing a 'fag' over him. To Adam that's a huge insult."

"It wouldn't be if he knew that I was a fag too," I spat."Which, he can't possibly know for sure, by the way. Not that not knowing stopped him from telling people that I am."

Aiden nodded."Yeah. That was fucked up. But, I still say he did it because he was hurt. And, we can deny what he said, Owen. All anyone needs to know is that we're just friends, whether or not they think I'm gay. If we're really careful, no one has to think that about you."

I closed my eyes and took in a breath. Damn it. Could I be any more selfish? Aiden probably had it worse than I did, because he had admitted being gay to Janie and people would probably believe her. He'd also been friends with Janie a lot longer than I'd been with Adam, so if this was hard on me then I'm sure that it felt disastrous for Aiden.

Yet there he was, being the voice of reason and insisting that my secret could still be safe. I had managed to make this situation all about me, and Aiden was going right along with it, reminding me why he was so much more than just a boyfriend.