Many of the activities detailed in the following chapters are very dangerous indeed. In my humble opinion, readers would be most unwise should they attempt to indulge in any of them. They are for the imagination only. However, should any of the more reckless and foolhardy among you experiment with any of the Violent and Unusual activities referred to in this story (and survive), I would be Most Interested to hear of your Experiences.
It should further be understood that the characters and events related here are entirely imaginary. No resemblance is intended to any actual persons, whether living or dead.
Finally, I must stress that the reader should on no account imagine that the author in any way approves of any of the Barbarous and Unnatural Behaviour described below!