I was on my way home from work, I had to stop by the Red Cross and donate blood which I do about every three months. I had my appointment time set and went in and registered waiting my turn. They ran my card through the computer and asked all the silly questions... well, I guess they're not really silly but I always sat there and said, No, no, no... until we made it through the whole list. I was a six gallon donor so it was almost always the same. I have never been in the hospital or overseas so it was pretty easy for me.

The only person I had sex with in the last twenty years was my wife of eighteen years. Yes, we did the dirty before we got married, just like about everyone else in the world. Anyway that made the sex questions pretty easy also. No venereal diseases, no HIV or any other sexually transmitted diseases. I knew the nurse always felt funny asking me all the sexual questions. But it was her job and we went through the usual list. Then she said she would be right back after she checked her updated donors list. She came back and looked at me with her head down. "What is it, Mary?" I asked. "Is my iron low or something?"

She looked at me and asked if Judy Lawrence was related to me? I said, "Of course, Mary, she's my wife. You know that. What's the problem, Mary?"

"Jim, Judy came in to donate blood this morning and was declined."

"What does that have to do with me, Mary?"

"Jim, I don't know exactly how to say this but according to her form this morning she has had sex in the last three months with someone who tested positive as a carrier for HIV. That means anyone that she has had sexual relations with could have possibly contacted the disease and cannot donate blood for twelve months. I'm so sorry, Jim."

"Wait a second, Mary. Did she just walk in here and say this to the Red Cross?"

"No, Jim, when someone goes to their doctor or hospital and is found to be a carrier then they are asked to give the names of any people that they have had sexual relations with in the last year. This list is confidential but made available to the Red Cross so we can watch for tainted blood."

"So, Mary, you're telling me that my loving wife was on a carriers list?"

"Yes, Jim, the carrier was supposed to contact his sexual partners and let them know that he was a carrier so they could seek medical advice. But according to your wife's form, she was never notified."

"Who is the carrier that says he had sex with my wife, Mary?"

"I'm sorry, Jim, I can't tell you since you didn't have sex with this individual. You are a second contact and you will have to find out from your wife. I'm really sorry, Jim. I'm just not allowed to say. I hope you understand. Just like I can't mention your name to anyone else either."

"Mary, we have been friends for a long time and I won't push the issue. But what are the chances of me being infected?"

"Jim, your chances are pretty good that you are not infected. Since it was a second contact and... I shouldn't tell you this either but... your wife said protection was used so that's in your favor also."

I thanked Mary and headed for home. What was I to do? How was I going to handle this after eighteen years of marriage. We have one daughter who just graduated and is going to college but living at home. What do I say to her? I had always thought we had a good marital relationship. We had sex or made love pretty regularly. In fact we did it just last week. God, I was all over her body that night. Now I might live to regret it.

That was our special night out. We went out to dinner and drinks. I remember us getting pretty loaded. The sex when we got home was great. I was trying to remember everything we did. I remember us kissing at the beginning, then I was sucking on her breasts. Damn, now the love seems so clinical. After sucking on her breasts I went down on her. God, I ate her out, I had my mouth all over her vagina and my tongue in her until she climaxed. Christ, I'm liable to have an STD of the mouth. Then I remember her going down on me also. I climaxed in her pussy and then we kissed some more. Damn her for putting our lives in jeopardy and all for what? I have yet to find out.

I had to calm down. I had to act as though nothing had happened until I get the name of the son of a bitch. Then the shit will hit the fan.

As usual when I got home dinner was just about ready. Beth, our daughter always started it and then my wife would usually get home before me and finish it. This was kind of a family time where we all sat and discussed our day. We probably ate together at least four days a week. Today could turn interesting.

When I walked into the house I went straight to the restroom to wash my hands. I usually kiss my wife and daughter when I come in but I wanted to stay away from that tonight. Especially Beth. I didn't want to even kiss her till I knew what was going on. I didn't want to give my daughter a disease. Damn, I was almost paranoid now.

We sat down to eat and Beth started talking about her first few weeks at college. She was so excited and talked through the whole dinner. Then she said that her girlfriend was going to pick her up and they were going over to the library to study. She asked if we could get the dishes tonight since her girlfriend had already arrived and was waiting on her. I told her to take off and get her studies done. I'd load the dish washer for her. She really was a good kid. I couldn't be prouder of her.

As soon as Beth left, my demeanor changed. I looked at Judy as asked her how her day went. She said it was pretty much a normal day, saying nothing about donating blood or at least attempting too.

I looked her right in the eyes and said, "Judy, would you say the most important thing in a marriage is trust and honesty?"

She looked at me kind of strange and asked, "What's this about, Jim? Why would you ask me a question like that?"

"Just answer the question and I will explain afterwards," I said.

"Okay, I'll play along. Yes, I believe marriages are built on trust and honesty," she replied.

I wanted this to come out almost like a game. I didn't want her to try and second guess me so I told her at work today one of the members of our group that always eats lunch together asked a question. Do we feel that our wives or husbands would lie to us on important issues? Not the little white lies but really important ones.

The majority said they believed their spouse would tell them the truth. Judy asked me what my answer was? I told her that I told the group that we had a strong marriage and were able to talk out our problems and I would hope that you would tell me the truth.

Judy looked at me and said, "Jim, I would never lie to you."

I told her if she did lie to me that I could never trust her again and without trust there is no marriage. Then I looked at her and said, "Well, we're talking. Are there any secrets you need to tell me? I'm willing to listen."

She acted like she was going to say something and then stopped. Then she replied, "No, Jim, I have no secrets hidden from you."

Then I said, "By the way, Judy, I went to give blood today. Did you? We normally go the same day."

She looked at me a little nervous and said she went but they said her iron was low and couldn't give this time. I looked at her and said they wouldn't take mine either. Something about my wife might have HIV.

Judy put her hands over her mouth and said, "Oh, my God! They said it would be kept private. I didn't know they would tell you. I'm so sorry."

I looked up at Judy and said, "Trust and honesty make up a marriage? I just gave you every chance to tell me and you still kept it from me. Who the hell have you been fucking that you were willing to sacrifice your marriage for and possibly give us STD's?"