Some years ago, I was lying on the back seat of my coach one night waiting for my passengers to return from their night out on the town. The lights were off but I had left the door unlocked so that I wouldn't be disturbed should anyone want to come back to the coach early. Around twelve o'clock two ladies came back on board but they didn't notice me laying there in the dark. They proceeded to have what I thought was a humorous conversation about the size of their husbands' and apparently their lovers' equipment. For some reason something brought that conversation into my mind the other day. The following is what I made of it.
I thank my LadyCibelle and Techsan for their patience, proof reading, editing skills and of course encouragement. As always I must also add, that I can't leave a story alone. I could well have added some cock-ups after they have seen it and before it gets posted. This little tale is very tongue in cheek I hope you enjoy it.
I'd got back into Heathrow on a late night flight. The traffic on the way down west had been awful, as it was the August bank holiday, the worst day of the year for holiday traffic. Accidents had caused jams that stretched for miles and I was dead beat and not in a good mood by the time I reached my home.
"Hi, honey," Allison, my loving wife of ten years said as I walked through the door. "Would you like some breakfast?"
I thought I might as well, before I went to bed to hopefully sleep off the jet lag.
Over a fry up of bacon and eggs Allison gave me a run down of her week; although I wasn't exactly listening as I was really half-asleep. Then out of the blue she dropped the bombshell.
"Robert, have you ever thought about swinging?"
Feigning ignorance I replied. "I'm not with you, babe. What do you mean by swinging?"
"You know, swapping partners for sex."
"No, that's not something that I've ever contemplated. What makes you ask?"
"Oh, a couple of the girls were talking in the changing room, down at the tennis club. I just wondered if you've ever thought about it?"
"My love, you're the only woman I need. I don't need to try any others."
"Ah, I suppose you would say that. After all you had other women before we were married. I was a virgin on our wedding night. You're the only man I've ever experienced. I was wondering what being with another man would be like."
"Wonder no more, my love. We've all got the same equipment and those women I went with before I met you did a good job of teaching me how to use it."
"But I can't help but wonder if another man would be any different in bed."
"I don't think I like where this conversation is going Allison. Are you trying to tell me you want to bed another man?"
"I think I am. Would you mind?"
"Of course I would. It's not something I could countenance."
"It would only be sex. There would be no love involved. Don't you trust me?"
"I'll be honest, baby. I trust you but I don't trust myself. I'm not sure that I could handle the thought of you with another man."
"You don't really love me then. If you did, you would trust me not to fall in love with him."
"Him! Who are we talking about here? It appears you've already picked out a stud for yourself."
"Well, I was thinking of Tony Marsh."
"Who? Tony Marsh, that bloody great prick. He's an arsehole of the forth Dan. He doesn't know how to treat a lady as she should be treated. Why the hell do you think he's never got married?
"The girls were saying he's a real stud and he has an enormous thingy."
"An enormous thingy. Is that what you are looking for, an enormous thingy?"
"Be serious, Rob. The only one I've ever seen is yours. They say Tony's is really big and gets to places that a normal sized one doesn't. I want to know what it feels like."
"And are you telling me I don't get you in those places?"
"How do I know? You're the only man I've ever had sex with. I'd like to know how you measure up?"
"Well, if you ever try to compare me with another man in bed, you could find you've made a big mistake."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Well, men don't like to be compared to others when it come to our prowess in bed. It hurts our ego."
"Oh, don't be silly. I just want to experience another man. I can't see how that can harm you."
"Well, I'll warn you. Experiencing another man could be a big mistake. You could find you're not happy with my "normal sized" thingy as you like to put it, afterwards."
"Now you are being silly. I love you. How could I not like having sex with you?
"Ah, now super-stud Tony's thingy could well have touched those parts of you that my normal sized thingy can't. You could find you don't get the same enjoyment from sex with me after you've tried that great big monster thingy, like Tony's."