Very little sex in this story. Thanks goes to 'Techsan' for editing this story.
I just got through reading an erotic story on line about a double standard. It was about a man who cheated on his wife but wanted her to forgive him. But when the tables were turned and she had an affair he couldn't forgive her. Damn, I wonder how many guys felt that way? I started thinking about my views and how I felt. Here I was twenty seven years old, single, considered good looking according to my past dates. Then I realized that I was one of these 'Double Standard' guys the author was talking about.
I have dated ever since I was a teenager. I had my share of sex and it was good, sometimes really good. I really cared for a number of these women who were all good looking, most had decent personalities, all were single or divorced. They were all hard working women and I almost always enjoyed their company. All my dates were more than one night affairs. I probably dated these women for months at a time. I know I got serious about a number of them. What happened? Why was I still single? Most of the women I dated would have made good companions. A few had children from their previous marriages. I do have to say they were all good decent woman.
Then it dawned on me. It was me. I had the double standard that the author talked about. Deep down I guess I didn't want to marry a woman who had been with another man. I wanted a virgin. I was willing to date these women and have sex with them but when it was time for commitment I always back away knowing they had been with other men. Damn! I didn't like being this person. I was two-faced and it began to bother me.
My parents, God bless them, were always worried about me not finding the right woman. They probably fixed me up with a half a dozen dates, everyone of them a knockout. They would be so happy that I was dating these women. After a few months we would each go our own way. In most cases we remained friends. I just couldn't tell my parents about my hang up, that I had a double standard. Hell, I didn't know it myself until after reading that stupid story.
My parents were throwing another cookout at their house. My sister, Nita, showed up with her clan of five kids and my other sister, Cindy, was there with her husband and two kids... Bob, my younger brother, showed up with his wife, Barbara, who I had dated in the past. She was pregnant with their second child. They seemed so happy together. I always felt a bit uncomfortable around Barbara knowing I had slept with her and she ended up marrying my younger brother. Luckily he didn't have my hangup and ended up with a really wonderful woman.
I liked kids a lot. I had to since I was always surrounded by nieces and nephews every time we had a family get together. The nice part was I enjoyed the kids but then at the end of the night they always returned to the fold and I had my peace and quite. It worked for me. Not everyone needed to be married.
My parents said they had a surprise for me. I said. "Okay, mom, who is it this time?" as I smiled.
She went in the house and brought out a guest. "Do you remember Kathy who used to live next door?" My mom was really smiling.
How could I ever forget Kathy? She was my childhood sweetheart from about age six to age fourteen. Then her mom died and she and her dad moved away. I was remembering back when she had left. I felt so bad. I was just a kid who lost his girlfriend. I remembered how we would kiss and she would let me touch her boobs. We never had sex, we were just too young. We always said that someday we would get married and have a family. We always argued what we would name our kids. She wanted two kids, Bart and Sarah, I wanted two also, Jacob and Mary. I always liked biblical names. I had heard that she had gotten married about five years ago. I remember mom telling me and I took it kind of hard. Funny, isn't it. You have these dreams as a kid and they seem to stay with you forever. Like they just sit on the back burner of your mind. Never to be fulfilled.
I believe that's why when we get older we want to buy our kids, in my case nieces and nephews, the same toys and games we had when we were young. Or go to the candy counter and get our old favorites, mary janes, blackjacks, squirrels, juju bees, I could go on and on but that was our childhood candy. Then you think back about your favorite car that you never did get or you wrecked it like I did mine. Always thinking someday I wish I could afford to buy one just like it. That's how I always thought about Kathy. She was always there in the back recesses of my mind.
Mom brought out Kathy. It was so good to see her. It brought back the old memories. I hugged her, she felt so good. She was a little heavier than I remembered but was still so pretty, now beautiful. She sure filled out as a woman. She smiled at me and had tears in her eyes as did I. God, it was so good to see her again. I asked her about her husband.
She said, "He was killed in Iraq last year. He was a good man and you would have liked him. He was so much like the way I remembered you."
I apologized for not knowing and told her how sorry I was for her.
She then introduced me to her two kids. She looked at me and said, "This is Jacob who is four." He held out his little hand for me to shake. "And this is my precious little girl, Mary, who is three."
My God, she picked the names I had chosen. I was ready to cry but did my best to hold back. Little Mary, who was hardly able to walk, grabbed my leg. I picked her up and gave her a little hug. She looked just like her mother. She gave me a little peck on the cheek and said, "Dada". Kathy said, "I'm sorry, she doesn't know too many words and dada is one of the first they learn."
I said, "Please don't apologize for that. It was nice to even hear her say it." We walked over to the patio table and just talked. I looked up at mom standing over by the door. She had her hands together under her chin as though she was praying. I could see tears of joy in her eyes. That was my mom. The old matchmaker.
Kathy said that after her husband had died she wasn't sure where to go. She remembered the old neighborhood and how much she loved it growing up here and decided to move back here to raise her children. She was able to buy a house about a block away next to the park we used to play in. She said she knew the kids would love it as they grew up. She stopped by to see if mom still lived here. She always like my mom. That was when mom invited her to the family cookout.
I told her I had an apartment across town. It wasn't homey but was good enough for a single guy. If she wanted, she could bring the kids over some day and we could use the pool. That was one of the perks of having the apartment. I could register her name with housekeeping and she could bring the kids anytime to swim. She said she would love to and would probably take me up on the offer.
My sisters both came over to see Kathy and the kids. They were doing their girly things, hugs and kisses and all. I got up and took a breather. I had to decide if I should ask her out. The childhood thoughts were still with me. I loved her as a kid and I probably could love her now. But she was a widow with two kids to raise. I wanted to date her but was afraid of maybe building up her hopes. What to do, what to do? I needed to think on this.
I know I wanted to see her again and she gave me her address and phone number. While we were talking mom came over and offered her babysitting services to Kathy if she ever needed one. I know mom wanted to see us together. I just didn't know if it would happen to the extent of marriage.
As I said goodnight to everyone I gave Kathy a kiss on the cheek. She just smiled and said how nice it was to see me again. Jacob came over to shake my hand good bye. He said. "Boys don't kiss boys". Then I picked up little Mary and gave her a big hug. She hugged me back and said "Dada" again. I smiled and handed her to Kathy.
I owned my own independent insurance agency. I was the only agent and had two office girls to help take care of business. One was also licensed to sell insurance so she was allowed to sign legal documents. Business was good and I made a very good living being my own boss.
Mom called me at the office and told me Kathy stopped by the house to thank her for inviting her to the party. She was glad to see everyone again, especially me. Mom then asked what I thought of Kathy? I told her she was just like I remembered, a beautiful girl and a great personality. Mom then told me that Kathy's father had died of a heart attack about three and a half years ago and then lost her husband last year. She was an only child so she was pretty much alone in the world. Then mom surprised me. She said, "Gary, please don't mislead her. She has had a very rough life and deserves better." I was stunned and asked my mother why she thought I would use Kathy?
"Well, Gary, you have dated for years now and we know a lot of the women got their hopes up and then nothing ever materialized. I would hate to see Kathy hurt. If you date her, just be totally honest with her. That's all I ask."
"I promise, mom, the last person I would want to hurt on God's green earth is Kathy." Then I had to ask mom a question. "Mom, did Kathy say why she named her kids Jacob and Mary? Did she say anything about it?"
"Well, Gary, I did say that they were good biblical names and Kathy said a very good friend suggested those names to her many years ago. Why do you ask, Gary?"
"No reason, mom. I just thought they were pretty names." I didn't know what to think about that. I would have to ask her why.
.... There is more of this story ...