Chapter 3

I stood on the sidewalk outside of the courthouse, watching my best friend, who I had thought for the last fifteen years was gay; chase her brother around with the apparent intent of reducing any future plans of procreation to the realm of wishful thinking. The only reason I could think of for her to be this mad at him was if it was true. In the fifteen years I'd know her, Beth had never given any indication that she was interested in men.

I knew for a fact that she had had several girlfriends as I had gone to her house to give her a shoulder to cry on over a couple of the breakups. She had never even hinted that she cared for me beyond the status of our friendship, still hadn't for that matter, I mean I knew she loved me, I just never knew she LOVED me. But what Josh said had the ring of truth and I just couldn't deal with it at the moment.

In a fog I turned and walked past the struggling siblings to the curb. I stuck my arm out and hopped in the cab that stopped.

"Drive!" I said.

I heard Josh call out to me as the cab pulled away but the driver kept going. I gave him my address and sat contemplating what I was going to do.

Let's face it my life has just altered in several significant ways. I'm single after fifteen years of marriage. Even if the twins are my daughters they hate me. IF they are my daughters I have nowhere for them to stay with me.

Damned if I know what to do if their not, I mean I've got fourteen years worth of emotional investment here. Lisa says they are not mine, and God help me, if she's wrong. God help me if she's right. Ok, God help me period.

(Hey, God, are you listening here?)

The cab pulled to a stop in front of my apartment as my cell phone began to ring. I looked at my phone and saw Beth's name. I let it ring as I paid the cabbie and got out. As he pulled away the phone began to ring again.

With a sigh I pushed the key and said, "Hello Beth."

She shrieked into the phone, "Oh thank God, Alex, where are you? Are you ok? Where are you? I am so sorry..."

Her frantic voice was suddenly replaced by her brother's mellow, but no less urgent, inquiry, "Alex? Where are you? You're not thinking of doing anything stupid, are you?"

I sighed and said, "I'm outside of my apartment and no I'm not thinking of doing anything stupid. Unless you count answering this phone or spending fifteen years of your life with a conniving Bitch! Everything's just peachy Josh." The last part of that came out as a growl that was so unlike me that even I was surprised.

I walked down the hall to my door and fished in my pocket for the key.

"Hang on a sec." I said as I threaded the key into the lock and opened the door. I took my hands free set and plugged it into the jack on the phone and put the phone in my pocket.

"Ok I'm back. Look I just need to think for a while and I just can't..."

I was cut off by Josh "Look I know things are rough but please don't hide away from your friends. We want to help. I really think you should not be alone right now." Josh's voice sounded truly concerned. Beth sounded even more frantic in the background.

I gave a heavy sigh "I'm not gonna hide away, Josh and if Beth wants to do dinner tonight then fine. But this isn't a celebration for me. I'm not sure what it is."

I sighed again as I heard Beth badgering her brother about what was going on. I said slowly, "Look, it's only eleven thirty, you and Beth come to my place and I'll make us some lunch. We can talk when you guys get here."

With an evil grin I said, "Tell Beth to take a deep breath and calm down or I'll have to paddle her ass when she gets here."

I disconnected before I could hear what Beth's response was, knowing that it would infuriate her. I always needled her like this and for the first time that day I smiled. For the first time in nine months I felt something besides despair. I went to the fridge and looked over the possibilities. I set about making salads and grilling chicken breasts on the built in gas grill out on the oversized patio. (A major reason I rented this flat.)

The chicken was just finished when the door to my apartment rattled with the impact of a very agitated Beth.

"Alex you coward! Open this door right now!" She banged on the door again and I began to wonder if I'd have to pay for a new one.

"Beth if you break my door I'll use your brothers firm to sue you for damages." I said with a grin as I opened my battered door.