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"Now, I just want you to relax," intoned the psychiatrist
I've been coming here for three months and up to now nothing was working for me. Luckily my health insurance was paying for his time for it was certain I could never find his high fees.
"Let's go over it one more time, shall we?" he said.
I don't know what good it was going to do to say it out loud one more time. I closed my eyes and thought back to that long weekend.
"We had only been married a few months," I said softly, "and we wanted to get away from everything and everybody just for a few days. We borrowed this little tent and backpacks and took the train. We walked hand in hand for most of the day until we found this lovely little site. You know it was one of those small sites that only allow five units on it. We pitched our little tent and lit our stove to make coffee and then we heated some stew out of a can."
It was so idyllic, thinking back, the sun low in the sky was still warm and she was with me.
"Did you make love that night?" he asked.
Sure I did, I remembered, I fucked my wife every night since we were married.
"Yeah," I said.
Her skin was smooth as silk with gentle rounded curves. True she wasn't big and busty but then I don't like my women like that. She was slender with great long legs that looked just great in her shorts.
"So why did you decide to stay?" he asked.
Why did we indeed?
"It was perfect there," I said, "the place was empty and that's what we wanted, a chance to be alone together."
"It didn't stay like that did it?" he said.
No, it fucking didn't, I thought.
"No, it didn't," I said.
"So what happened?" he asked.
"We didn't see them arrive but when we returned from our walk that second day there were two big caravans parked," I said. "It was too late in the day to break camp and move on so we decided to stay one more night and then move on the next day."
"So what happened then?" he asked.
I didn't want to say, I never do when it comes to this part.
"I didn't want to go," I said, "but Jenny said it would be bad manners to refuse, so in the end we joined them."
"What were they doing?" he asked.
"They had this big bar-b-q going and they were all drinking," I said.
"So you joined in?" he said.
"Yes," I confirmed.
"There were four couples and a few other guys as well, I'm not sure where they all slept but then they were very big caravans," I said.
"So carry on," he pushed.
"They kept pushing drinks on us," I said, "Both Jenny and I don't drink a lot so I soon started to feel the effects."
"Yes," he said.
"Then things started to get boisterous," I said, "people chasing around and yelling. I didn't feel very well and I wanted for us to go back to our tent."
"But you didn't?" he said.
"No," I confirmed. "There didn't seem much point with all the yelling and screaming going on we would never have got to sleep."
"Then what happened?" he asked.
I closed my eyes tight and I felt them getting wet.
"Jenny disappeared," I stated.
"Disappeared?" he said.
"Yes, she was there one minute but when I looked again she was gone," I said. "I asked were she was but they all just laughed."
"So what did you do?" he said.
"I went looking, but it was so dark," I said, "I called out her name a few times and when I did I could hear them all laughing at me again."
"But you did find her?" he asked.
Yes, I fucking did, I screamed inside my brain.
"Yes," I whispered. "The moon came out from behind a cloud and bathed the whole field in it's soft light."
"Yes," he prompted.
"I could see this heap of bodies over in the far corner," I said. "At first, I couldn't make it out but as I got closer I saw that Jenny was under this guy and he was doing it to her."
"Doing it?" he queried.
"Yes doing it, fucking her right," I shouted.
I closed my eyes again, trying to regain my composure.
"Yes, doing it," I said, "I rushed over as fast as I could, yelled like a banshee, but before I could help, I was intercepted and flattened by a couple of them. They held me face down so I couldn't see but I could still hear his grunts as he did it."
I couldn't go on I had to stop if only for a few moments.
"So what happened next?" he asked after about a minute.
"I heard him come," I said, "you know, I couldn't hear him moving any more, he had grunted extra loudly and then he sighed.
"Me next," I heard too, "so I knew he had finished. Then I heard Jenny cry out and I struggled harder to get up and help her, but I couldn't move. The guy, the one who had just finished with her, came over to me and sat on my back and started to talk to me."
.... There is more of this story ...